I creeped myself out...
...again. I'm not finished with the worm war, I'm still fighting it and apparently I will have to fight it until all of the generations complete the life cycle. I do so hate those hideous suckers.
I was getting one off of the ceiling and instead I just knocked it down and I thought to myself..."What is the worse case scenario?" That would have been if the atrocious little bastard fell into my shirt and down what's left of my cleavage. So that's where I looked first. I'm glad that I looked instead of waiting until I felt it wiggling around. See...this is why I get so creeped out.
I threw away everything that wasn't in a can or in the fridge. Look around, that's a lot of stuff. Then I washed the shelves down with flea shampoo...don't ask me why. The only things left in the cabinet were the things that I cleaned them with and a box of moth balls.
Yesterday I was taking the smaller mothballs and slipping them in between the ceiling and the cabinet wherever I had room. I poured some out to look for the smaller balls that would fit in the smaller place. Guess what I saw at the bottom of the box? Those damned larvae were pupating in the bottom of a box of moth balls. I was stunned. So, I had to toss the moth balls. I've got to move, this place smells like a grandmother's house.
It rained quite a bit yesterday so when a girlfriend of mine came over, she tracked leaves through my kitchen. I was annoyed. Every so often the wind that blows in from under the door will blow out another leaf and without my glasses on, it looks like a huge bug running through my kitchen. I want to run away but there's no place to go.
All this worm talk has generated some odd search results that drop people off here. One person got here by searching "worms in pussy". I never, ever discussed pussy warms. Brain worms, Indian Meal Moths and their larvae on the ceiling but no pussy worms. Heck, I'm a nurse and I've never even heard of pussy worms. The reason that I'm even mentioning the pussy worms is so that I can attract someone searching for pussy worms. (Good luck with that!)
I have to know something, why are you looking for pussy worms? Is there such a thing? Unfortunately with the Patriot Act and the FBI, I wouldn't have a "pussy worm" search on my computer. If anything happened it could end up on CNN and then someone would think that I have pussy worms and I don't. I have never had one, never seen one and never even heard of this affliction. I'll tell you this, if there was a pussy worm epidemic it would be a plague of biblical proportions. Even if I were the only one to have it. Pussy worms would suck.
Anyway, I hope that the person who may or may not have stumbled across a pussy worm here or there will be a good sport and let themselves be known. I know you're out there.
Of course, when you write about pussy as much as I do, you do tend to get a lot of "pussy this" or "pussy that" searches so it's not really a big deal...but worms? Ick.
Maybe I should write about dicks for a while...ya think? Oh no...I know! How about this, if you're a guy and you think that going forever is what every woman wants, you could actually be wrong. What you should do is, after say...a half an hour...ask her if she's into the marathon. You've got a 50/50 chance that she's up for it so go ahead.
But one way or another, you should let her know what's going on. After a half an hour we don't know if you're going so long for you, for us or because you have one of those retarded ejaculation type things. We just need a quick update, that's all I'm saying. There might be something we can do to help things along.
(You'll be happy to know that I just deleted a very graphic sentence about dick worms.)
Oh...as I was cleaning things in the kitchen, I came across every pair of glasses that I've broken over the past 12 years. That's a considerable number of glasses, let me tell you. Whenever I broke the frames, they would be discontinued so I could never get the glasses fixed. Anyway, between frames with one lens and loose lenses floating around, I have a pile of lenses that are going to waste. I have decided to put them to use in a very creative yet extremely gaudy way.
I'm going to make paper mache frames and then I'll paint them some wild colors. I have plenty of paint, I could paint them a different color whenever I wanted to. Or I could make stripes, polka dots or stars...whatever the occasion calls for. Yeah, that's the ticket...paper mache (or papier mache, however you spell it) frames.
They'll be Meg originals. Sweet.
...again. I'm not finished with the worm war, I'm still fighting it and apparently I will have to fight it until all of the generations complete the life cycle. I do so hate those hideous suckers.
I was getting one off of the ceiling and instead I just knocked it down and I thought to myself..."What is the worse case scenario?" That would have been if the atrocious little bastard fell into my shirt and down what's left of my cleavage. So that's where I looked first. I'm glad that I looked instead of waiting until I felt it wiggling around. See...this is why I get so creeped out.
I threw away everything that wasn't in a can or in the fridge. Look around, that's a lot of stuff. Then I washed the shelves down with flea shampoo...don't ask me why. The only things left in the cabinet were the things that I cleaned them with and a box of moth balls.
Yesterday I was taking the smaller mothballs and slipping them in between the ceiling and the cabinet wherever I had room. I poured some out to look for the smaller balls that would fit in the smaller place. Guess what I saw at the bottom of the box? Those damned larvae were pupating in the bottom of a box of moth balls. I was stunned. So, I had to toss the moth balls. I've got to move, this place smells like a grandmother's house.
It rained quite a bit yesterday so when a girlfriend of mine came over, she tracked leaves through my kitchen. I was annoyed. Every so often the wind that blows in from under the door will blow out another leaf and without my glasses on, it looks like a huge bug running through my kitchen. I want to run away but there's no place to go.
All this worm talk has generated some odd search results that drop people off here. One person got here by searching "worms in pussy". I never, ever discussed pussy warms. Brain worms, Indian Meal Moths and their larvae on the ceiling but no pussy worms. Heck, I'm a nurse and I've never even heard of pussy worms. The reason that I'm even mentioning the pussy worms is so that I can attract someone searching for pussy worms. (Good luck with that!)
I have to know something, why are you looking for pussy worms? Is there such a thing? Unfortunately with the Patriot Act and the FBI, I wouldn't have a "pussy worm" search on my computer. If anything happened it could end up on CNN and then someone would think that I have pussy worms and I don't. I have never had one, never seen one and never even heard of this affliction. I'll tell you this, if there was a pussy worm epidemic it would be a plague of biblical proportions. Even if I were the only one to have it. Pussy worms would suck.
Anyway, I hope that the person who may or may not have stumbled across a pussy worm here or there will be a good sport and let themselves be known. I know you're out there.
Of course, when you write about pussy as much as I do, you do tend to get a lot of "pussy this" or "pussy that" searches so it's not really a big deal...but worms? Ick.
Maybe I should write about dicks for a while...ya think? Oh no...I know! How about this, if you're a guy and you think that going forever is what every woman wants, you could actually be wrong. What you should do is, after say...a half an hour...ask her if she's into the marathon. You've got a 50/50 chance that she's up for it so go ahead.
But one way or another, you should let her know what's going on. After a half an hour we don't know if you're going so long for you, for us or because you have one of those retarded ejaculation type things. We just need a quick update, that's all I'm saying. There might be something we can do to help things along.
(You'll be happy to know that I just deleted a very graphic sentence about dick worms.)
Oh...as I was cleaning things in the kitchen, I came across every pair of glasses that I've broken over the past 12 years. That's a considerable number of glasses, let me tell you. Whenever I broke the frames, they would be discontinued so I could never get the glasses fixed. Anyway, between frames with one lens and loose lenses floating around, I have a pile of lenses that are going to waste. I have decided to put them to use in a very creative yet extremely gaudy way.
I'm going to make paper mache frames and then I'll paint them some wild colors. I have plenty of paint, I could paint them a different color whenever I wanted to. Or I could make stripes, polka dots or stars...whatever the occasion calls for. Yeah, that's the ticket...paper mache (or papier mache, however you spell it) frames.
They'll be Meg originals. Sweet.
posted by Meg Kelso | 4:02 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home