Helpful Hints for a White Chick in the Hood
2. During the day, you can walk to the library or MccyD's...but when the sun goes down, don't go so far as the closest bus stop.
3. Be reticent around black men in the hood because they are actually worried about what might happen to a black dude walking with a white chick. Sad, but true.
4. Always be prepared to walk past a church with music SO GOOD that you simply must go in and sing along. Remember to turn off your cell phone. It may be in a language you don't know, but they all seem to shake hands with those next to them at some point...you should pay attention and join in.
5. Walk with a purpose...head held high, shoulders back and gut sucked in. Act as though you have an important plan and move quickly.
6. If while following the above helpful hint, you happen to trip over a messed up South Central LA sidewalk, just get up immediately. NO ONE IS GOING TO STOP AND OFFER HELP. If they do, you'll be missing a wallet.
7. Irish women have no business in the sun and 15 is nowhere near enough SPF.
8. When it comes to drinking, just say no...seriously. Twist one if you have it, but leave the booze alone.
9. You actually have to shower twice a day. I only do my hair in the morning, but by the afternoon, I simply must get the real or perceived grime off of my skin.
19. Above all, have fun! And don't forget to take advantage of becoming familiar with a part of life you never thought you would see outside of a Spike Lee movie.