Good morning!
Screwing in a light bulb last night, I utilized one of the most useful pieces of advice that I have ever received, “Righty Tighty...Loosy Lefty." Did you know that everything that screws, turns or twists will tighten if you turn it right and loosen if you turn it left? My dad told me that recently. I could have used that advice years ago. I have been having trouble getting gas caps off all of my life. Was I the only one in the world who didn’t know that?
I was playing tennis with my youngest son when he gave me another piece of useful advice. He said something I had heard a million times but never really absorbed, “Keep your eye on the ball.” You know, that works! I can play tennis now after years of waving rackets at the air.
Now, if only I can give myself some advice. After years of having my ability to trust trifled with, I am LOOKING for things to distrust.
Happiness can be halted by distrust for absolutely no reason whatsoever. After you have been trained to distrust, you can be smack dab in the middle of a pleasant evening and BAM! Your mind comes up with an imaginary reason not to trust someone. At that precise moment, you are overcome with a devastating sense of loss.
How do you learn to trust after forgetting how? I could just say to myself, “You know, that was stupid, Meg.” But feelings are what they are...not good...not bad...they just are. Once you stop trusting someone who has given you no reason to distrust them, is the trust as hard to gain back as respect can be once THAT is lost? Jeez, I have to talk to me.
After the first couple of affairs that Vex had, I began a pattern of thinking that made me question every little thing he did or didn’t do. If you have ever been lied to, you probably know what I mean. How do you stop that pattern? I need some help on that one. And then I read my horoscope for the day:
You are willing to show more of yourself because you are attracted to others. This can create a bit of worry, for sometimes you do like to remain safely hidden from the outer world. Don't create unnecessary problems as you come out of your shell.
Are the horoscope writers reading this blog???
By the way, I am from Chicago and I grew up watching Opie, Barney, Uncle Jed, Gomer and all of those crazy southern characters. When I moved to the South, I felt rather superior. But I learned something...good ol’ boys are actually pretty damn good. Oh, and another thing, Krispie Kreme donuts are only Krispie after a couple of days.
If you were to look at some of the details of our marriage, you might assume we had married impulsively after a short courtship, when in fact we married after dating for FOUR YEARS. So how I missed this aspect of his personality is still a mystery to me, 21 years after we divorced.
Vex and I dated for 6 years, I missed it as well. As you stated elsewhere in your comment, if you are NOT a liar yourself, you don’t see the lies coming...until a liar makes it so that you can't seem to STOP seeing them!What a shame.
I don't know who you were with the other night that made you feel so much more confident and better about yourself, but I'm glad it happened. :-)
Me too! Imagine my surprise. It was almost as blindsiding as Vex's affair! It wasn’t really the person, it was something I did. I made an incredibly mean comment. I didn’t know why I did it. I thought about it until I realized that it was the way Vex and I communicated. I developed a very sharp tongue out of self defense. I had forgotten how nice people are supposed to be. Like I said yesterday, I learned how hurtful a word can be. You can do all kinds of damage to someone by simply saying something mean. But as easily as you can do that, you can just be nice and cause nice feelings. I am trying to learn how to break the “mean” pattern. I am defending myself against an non-existent threat and I must stop that!
Well, I have to make breakfast for my house guest, I’ll be back shortly.
Meg
Screwing in a light bulb last night, I utilized one of the most useful pieces of advice that I have ever received, “Righty Tighty...Loosy Lefty." Did you know that everything that screws, turns or twists will tighten if you turn it right and loosen if you turn it left? My dad told me that recently. I could have used that advice years ago. I have been having trouble getting gas caps off all of my life. Was I the only one in the world who didn’t know that?
I was playing tennis with my youngest son when he gave me another piece of useful advice. He said something I had heard a million times but never really absorbed, “Keep your eye on the ball.” You know, that works! I can play tennis now after years of waving rackets at the air.
Now, if only I can give myself some advice. After years of having my ability to trust trifled with, I am LOOKING for things to distrust.
Happiness can be halted by distrust for absolutely no reason whatsoever. After you have been trained to distrust, you can be smack dab in the middle of a pleasant evening and BAM! Your mind comes up with an imaginary reason not to trust someone. At that precise moment, you are overcome with a devastating sense of loss.
How do you learn to trust after forgetting how? I could just say to myself, “You know, that was stupid, Meg.” But feelings are what they are...not good...not bad...they just are. Once you stop trusting someone who has given you no reason to distrust them, is the trust as hard to gain back as respect can be once THAT is lost? Jeez, I have to talk to me.
After the first couple of affairs that Vex had, I began a pattern of thinking that made me question every little thing he did or didn’t do. If you have ever been lied to, you probably know what I mean. How do you stop that pattern? I need some help on that one. And then I read my horoscope for the day:
You are willing to show more of yourself because you are attracted to others. This can create a bit of worry, for sometimes you do like to remain safely hidden from the outer world. Don't create unnecessary problems as you come out of your shell.
Are the horoscope writers reading this blog???
By the way, I am from Chicago and I grew up watching Opie, Barney, Uncle Jed, Gomer and all of those crazy southern characters. When I moved to the South, I felt rather superior. But I learned something...good ol’ boys are actually pretty damn good. Oh, and another thing, Krispie Kreme donuts are only Krispie after a couple of days.
If you were to look at some of the details of our marriage, you might assume we had married impulsively after a short courtship, when in fact we married after dating for FOUR YEARS. So how I missed this aspect of his personality is still a mystery to me, 21 years after we divorced.
Vex and I dated for 6 years, I missed it as well. As you stated elsewhere in your comment, if you are NOT a liar yourself, you don’t see the lies coming...until a liar makes it so that you can't seem to STOP seeing them!What a shame.
I don't know who you were with the other night that made you feel so much more confident and better about yourself, but I'm glad it happened. :-)
Me too! Imagine my surprise. It was almost as blindsiding as Vex's affair! It wasn’t really the person, it was something I did. I made an incredibly mean comment. I didn’t know why I did it. I thought about it until I realized that it was the way Vex and I communicated. I developed a very sharp tongue out of self defense. I had forgotten how nice people are supposed to be. Like I said yesterday, I learned how hurtful a word can be. You can do all kinds of damage to someone by simply saying something mean. But as easily as you can do that, you can just be nice and cause nice feelings. I am trying to learn how to break the “mean” pattern. I am defending myself against an non-existent threat and I must stop that!
Well, I have to make breakfast for my house guest, I’ll be back shortly.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 5:20 AM
2 Comments:
To every rule there are a few exceptions. Not everything that screws will tighten if you turn it to the right. This is particularly the case in what might hold the wheels on your car. On some car wheel hubs the ones on the LEFT side of the car will tighten by turning to the left. This was the engineers attempt to use braking energy to keep the nuts tight.
Margaret,
You mention you are from Chicago. What part? I am from Argo-Summit: 63rd and Harlem. I remember the El; the different ethnic neighborhoods and foods; museums. Chicago had it all. I guess it has changed today. I could always get a job in Chi town, now people are looking for work there. It was a good place to me. I loved it, till I moved to Los Angeles. Then my mind soared.
Your relationship with your father's ex-wife is one of those 4th dimension things, right?
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