As usual you guys have come through...
...I truly appreciate your comments regarding drug abuse. I am sorry that anyone has to relate to this, but happy that people chose to share. I spoke to my father who hadn’t read his email yet so I told him what I knew which is pretty much what you know because of the email that Mike sent me and I posted. He asked what I thought he ought to do and I told him that he should send Mike a very supportive email. I was glad that my brother chose to tell us all about what happened because keeping it to himself would only make him feel worse and increase the chances of him using again.
After my mother’s father died, she began drinking very heavily. I was pregnant at the time and she would call me in the middle of the night quite drunk. I asked for advice from my best friend's mother who was a member of Al-anon. Her advice was to tell my mother that I loved her but I needed my sleep and that I would speak to her when she was sober and then hang up. I did that. Thankfully, my mom stopped drinking eventually. So, I know better than to enable someone but I don’t know what to do to actually help. The best I could do was let my brother know that I loved him and that I always would. That’s what family is for, if they need you, you have to be there.
The problem is that I've watched him start to get his life back together many times over my 32 years here, so it's hard for me to be optimistic about it. I do love the guy, though. Of all my uncles, he's the one that would unconditionally help me in any way he could were I in trouble.
Just like my brother, Guy’s uncle is the one he can count on. It would be so easy if the addict was a jerk...but when the addict is a kind and decent person, it isn’t so easy.
I'd be willing to bet your brother's substance use issues come from a naturally occurring chemical imbalance.
Well, we are finding out that there is a possible genetic factor involved in addiction and as I said, my mother also had a problem as did her father. One thing is certain, will power alone doesn’t do it. Addiction is most assuredly an illness and one that has no pill. And, as well as A.A. and N.A. work for some people, there is no universal one solution that will work for everybody.
I agree with you that the war on drugs is useless and should be abandoned. I think it creates an entire underground economy and breeding ground for crime and corruption.
Absolutely. They say that marijuana leads to bigger problems because most addicts who take the hard drugs used marijuana in the past. Well, most child molesters masturbated in the past, do we outlaw that as well? As long as marijuana is illegal, the only way to get it will be through dealers who have an interest in getting customers to try harder drugs. So, if you could buy it legally, it is possible that the people would never even meet a person who wants them to try the hard stuff. The illegality of marijuana is more responsible for the harder drug use, in my opinion, than the marijuana itself.
Sis and I used to talk every single day (Texas here, sis in Montana) and once she got herself hooked, she stopped talking to me.
How sad. Once again, what a nasty thief drugs are.
Sister is at a crisis point, but refuses to admit she has a problem. She has lost everything she owns (pawned everything she could, including all of her children’s few things they had), kicked out of her housing, selling off her food ...would take off for days and leave her 2 older kids home to care for her baby. Both the older kids have missed so much time this year due to my sister, they both have to repeat their grades.
And the woman, with any luck at all, will someday get help and stop the drug use. But there is no way she will ever get this time back. That is so sad for the kids and will be very sad for her when she finally realizes that she missed some very special time with her kids. That isn’t even considering the damage done to the kids themselves, it is awful that they will have to repeat a year of their education. They will be angry and could even end up using drugs themselves to deal with life because they didn’t have a mother to teach them coping skills.
Have you ever seen the show Intervention? I watched it for the first time last night and it hit home for me. One of the addicts had a sister she was really close to, and then the drugs took it all away.
I have never even heard of this show but I will be looking for it from now on and I will even suggest that my brother watch it if he hasn’t already done so. Thank you for that information.
I was sending money to help with the children, which I found out wasn't even used for the children.
Yes, in this situation, what do you do? I would send my mom money for the light bill and the lights would still be turned off. I just started paying the bill myself. She didn’t use the money for drugs, but her drinking made her behave very irresponsibly.
When a person begins abusing a substance, they stop growing emotionally. They cope by using so they do not learn the coping mechanisms that they should be learning. If a person begins drinking at the age of 16 and stops at 42, they are emotionally still a 16 year old. Now, they are middle aged and have the life skills of a 16 year old. What a recipe for disaster.
Being willing to get professional help is a sign of motivation and has a higher likelihood of success. I wish your brother the best of luck.
Thank you very much. Mike had fought long and hard to get over this problem and I cannot tell you how sad I am that he has relapsed. He is no stranger to professional help and he is more than willing to seek it. But, it doesn’t always take the first time, perhaps not the second or third time either. I am just so sorry that even if it does work this time, he may have lost the most important and most valuable thing he has ever had, a woman who loves him more than anything else in the world.
I really hope your brother can get the help he needs.
Thank you and please, everybody who believes in a higher power, say a prayer for Mike and his wife. I believe strongly in the power of prayer and I humbly ask for as many of you as possible to pray for my brother. I love him so much and if he knew you, he would do anything he could to help you. That’s what is so sad about this, he is one of the kindest, gentlest, most loyal men I have ever met and he deserves better than he has done for himself. Thank you all for your support.
Meg
...I truly appreciate your comments regarding drug abuse. I am sorry that anyone has to relate to this, but happy that people chose to share. I spoke to my father who hadn’t read his email yet so I told him what I knew which is pretty much what you know because of the email that Mike sent me and I posted. He asked what I thought he ought to do and I told him that he should send Mike a very supportive email. I was glad that my brother chose to tell us all about what happened because keeping it to himself would only make him feel worse and increase the chances of him using again.
After my mother’s father died, she began drinking very heavily. I was pregnant at the time and she would call me in the middle of the night quite drunk. I asked for advice from my best friend's mother who was a member of Al-anon. Her advice was to tell my mother that I loved her but I needed my sleep and that I would speak to her when she was sober and then hang up. I did that. Thankfully, my mom stopped drinking eventually. So, I know better than to enable someone but I don’t know what to do to actually help. The best I could do was let my brother know that I loved him and that I always would. That’s what family is for, if they need you, you have to be there.
The problem is that I've watched him start to get his life back together many times over my 32 years here, so it's hard for me to be optimistic about it. I do love the guy, though. Of all my uncles, he's the one that would unconditionally help me in any way he could were I in trouble.
Just like my brother, Guy’s uncle is the one he can count on. It would be so easy if the addict was a jerk...but when the addict is a kind and decent person, it isn’t so easy.
I'd be willing to bet your brother's substance use issues come from a naturally occurring chemical imbalance.
Well, we are finding out that there is a possible genetic factor involved in addiction and as I said, my mother also had a problem as did her father. One thing is certain, will power alone doesn’t do it. Addiction is most assuredly an illness and one that has no pill. And, as well as A.A. and N.A. work for some people, there is no universal one solution that will work for everybody.
I agree with you that the war on drugs is useless and should be abandoned. I think it creates an entire underground economy and breeding ground for crime and corruption.
Absolutely. They say that marijuana leads to bigger problems because most addicts who take the hard drugs used marijuana in the past. Well, most child molesters masturbated in the past, do we outlaw that as well? As long as marijuana is illegal, the only way to get it will be through dealers who have an interest in getting customers to try harder drugs. So, if you could buy it legally, it is possible that the people would never even meet a person who wants them to try the hard stuff. The illegality of marijuana is more responsible for the harder drug use, in my opinion, than the marijuana itself.
Sis and I used to talk every single day (Texas here, sis in Montana) and once she got herself hooked, she stopped talking to me.
How sad. Once again, what a nasty thief drugs are.
Sister is at a crisis point, but refuses to admit she has a problem. She has lost everything she owns (pawned everything she could, including all of her children’s few things they had), kicked out of her housing, selling off her food ...would take off for days and leave her 2 older kids home to care for her baby. Both the older kids have missed so much time this year due to my sister, they both have to repeat their grades.
And the woman, with any luck at all, will someday get help and stop the drug use. But there is no way she will ever get this time back. That is so sad for the kids and will be very sad for her when she finally realizes that she missed some very special time with her kids. That isn’t even considering the damage done to the kids themselves, it is awful that they will have to repeat a year of their education. They will be angry and could even end up using drugs themselves to deal with life because they didn’t have a mother to teach them coping skills.
Have you ever seen the show Intervention? I watched it for the first time last night and it hit home for me. One of the addicts had a sister she was really close to, and then the drugs took it all away.
I have never even heard of this show but I will be looking for it from now on and I will even suggest that my brother watch it if he hasn’t already done so. Thank you for that information.
I was sending money to help with the children, which I found out wasn't even used for the children.
Yes, in this situation, what do you do? I would send my mom money for the light bill and the lights would still be turned off. I just started paying the bill myself. She didn’t use the money for drugs, but her drinking made her behave very irresponsibly.
When a person begins abusing a substance, they stop growing emotionally. They cope by using so they do not learn the coping mechanisms that they should be learning. If a person begins drinking at the age of 16 and stops at 42, they are emotionally still a 16 year old. Now, they are middle aged and have the life skills of a 16 year old. What a recipe for disaster.
Being willing to get professional help is a sign of motivation and has a higher likelihood of success. I wish your brother the best of luck.
Thank you very much. Mike had fought long and hard to get over this problem and I cannot tell you how sad I am that he has relapsed. He is no stranger to professional help and he is more than willing to seek it. But, it doesn’t always take the first time, perhaps not the second or third time either. I am just so sorry that even if it does work this time, he may have lost the most important and most valuable thing he has ever had, a woman who loves him more than anything else in the world.
I really hope your brother can get the help he needs.
Thank you and please, everybody who believes in a higher power, say a prayer for Mike and his wife. I believe strongly in the power of prayer and I humbly ask for as many of you as possible to pray for my brother. I love him so much and if he knew you, he would do anything he could to help you. That’s what is so sad about this, he is one of the kindest, gentlest, most loyal men I have ever met and he deserves better than he has done for himself. Thank you all for your support.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 3:58 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home