Recently...

...I heard that Vex referred to me as “vindictive”. I find that offensive. What on earth would lead him to think I might be vindictive? No. Not me. What possible reason could I have to be vindictive, you lying, cheating, bullying, deceitful piece of shit? Are you out of your mind? Vindictive. My ass.

Spiteful, bitter, malicious, and unkind, perhaps. But Vindictive? Nope. Not me.

So, meathead, I hear ya pled guilty to some charges the other day. Could you come clean to something without police witnesses? A real man would. But I digress.

I’ll be going in for another MRI, alone this time. But I’m not at all vindictive. Since you are so late on the alimony, I don’t know how I am going to pay the rent this month on the house that you brought me to and left me in. My granddaughter asks where you are. She still makes me hide under the blanket with her waiting for you to find us. Every so often I find a bottle of sex oil (in my own kitchen drawer) that you never used on me. Thanks for leaving that, by the way. You’re a prince of a guy.

My father has seen to it that I have a vehicle because you chose to leave me totally stranded when I was unable work. For what? A piece of ass that you have convinced yourself is special? Did you notice that her house was a trailer? Have you seen Jerry Springer? No, I’m not vindictive.

The table you threw at me is still next to my bed. The bed you screwed Gail in is in the other room. You have taken every important document that I had including my passport. Surely a reasonable woman wouldn't be vindictive over such nonsense!

You lied FOR YEARS about a tax debt that we never owed...you told the mediator and both attorneys that you and I owed the IRS when in fact, we had a huge refund coming. I doubt that they are vindictive about your decption? Why should I be?

Maybe because you wanted to keep the tax refund AND prevent me from getting one of my own? A vindictive woman wouldn't have signed the papers. Oh, wait, I didn't! And do you know why? You were so desperate for that money of OURS that you E-FILED the damn thing! What nimrod e-files when he OWES money? If you hadn’t been so damn horny for the money, you might have gotten away with it. At least I am not a stupid woman. I thought you knew that.

But are you a very smart guy? You filed without my signature! Are you nuts? I wonder what else you will be pleading guilty to. All of these are irrefutable facts. But if I weren't so vindictive...I guess you wouldn't have so many legal problems. You can’t lie your way out of this one, no police witnesses, just unsigned tax returns and pictures of bruises.

By the way, if took me 14 trips to get rid of the hundreds of cans of used motor oil that you left under the house. That would make most wives happy, but a vindictive wife might not find that to be as much fun as your trailer dwelling bimbo must. You were doing your best to drag me down with you and then, when I was the sickest that I have ever been, terrified of dieing while I knew my husband was having an affair, paralyzed with fear and unable to eat, you had to leave me at that very moment (that the car was fixed)... After 23 years, that was the exact moment that you had to leave. You literally left me when I needed you the most. Now, if I were vindictive, there isn't a soul who would understand. Other people enjoy being treated like a disposable diaper, shit all over them and toss them in the trash.

And was that enough? NO. You had to use my fear to keep me in line, telling me that you still loved me and that if only I would jump through every hoop you ever held up, you would stay and be my husband. But you were slowly moving out all summer. You treated me with contempt the entire time I was sick and trying, ever so desperately, to save my marriage and my very life. Vindictive? How shallow do you think I am?

And the truth is, indisputably, that you never had any intention of staying, you just wanted to get your stuff and your car. Deny it all you want, that’s exactly what happened. After days of treating me with contempt, at night you would use me as a toilet for your sperm, telling me that you loved me. I would have never done that if you didn’t tell me that you loved me. I feel hideously violated in a sexual manner. But, to become vindictive?

You wouldn’t treat a dog the way you treated me and looking back, I can honestly say that you are the single most gutless, selfish, vile, lying, bullying, cheating scoundrel that I have ever had the excruciating misfortune to have encountered. I should have trusted my first instinct about you. When I was 24 years old, I instinctively knew that you were all of the above but somehow, I put up with your white trash ways and your redneck actions. But, I’m done. The restraining order (that you also consented to) is in the divorce so I won’t have to worry about associating with you or yours so have a big party in the trailer. You and your little tramp can sit and lie to each other all day, everyday, it will be one great big bullshit-o-rama. I want out of this marriage NOW so sign the damn paper already, you nasty, bald, twisted penis, can't last for more than 3 minutes in a pussy that doesn't require you to wear a hard hat with a flashlight, creepy, freak.

But whatever you do, don’t make me vindictive. You wouldn’t like me when I'm vindictive.

Meg