Recently...

...I read somewhere that online dating is losing it’s “bad rap” as a step above a honky-tonk, some might even say a step below, as a place for meeting people. According to the article, couples who’ve met online are no longer stigmatized when they answer the question, “Where did you two meet?” I’m beginning to think that it's true. In going through some of the profiles and while meeting a few people in this way, I’ve been pleasantly surprised at the quality of people who are attempting to find “true love” online. Of course, many others have far different motives (unfortunate as that may be), but I'm not talking about them. I'm referring to the decent, unattached people who are simply trying to meet someone to spend time with, the kind of people who truly want to find a companion, friend, or spouse.

I haven’t found “love”, but then again, I haven’t been looking for love. I have had the pleasure of spending a few nights with some very pleasant company, I’ve gone to some wonderful restaurants and I’ve even made a friend. The first person I met online was not in any position to enter a relationship, but he was great friend material and I now have a really good friend. That alone made it worth the effort, good friends are hard to find.

There is one man whom I’ve yet to meet but we have had some nice conversations online and I look forward to meeting him sometime.

There were a couple of duds, though, I must admit. I met one guy in a restaurant here in town and we had a nice time. Somewhere during the conversation, he made a comment and I joked with him, saying something along the lines of, “I don’t sleep with anyone before the third date.” I don’t remember what prompted that but trust me, it was simply a funny retort and it meant nothing. Well, after we finished our drink and some very pleasant conversation, we walked to our cars and said good-bye. A few days later he called and asked if I was “ready for our SECOND date”. Well, I didn’t think we had even had ONE date, just a relatively quick meeting. But, no matter, I thought, “Sure, what did you have in mind?” He said, “Do you like movies?” I said yes even though I don’t really enjoy them that much because I'm night blind. My eyes don’t accommodate to the change of light into dark so if I have to go to the ladies room, the movie is over. I can’t see to find my seat again. Anyway, when I said yes, this fool asked me if I had a VCR or DVD player. I laughed and said, “If I have to host the date, it’ll be $500.” Then I hung up on him. Like I said before, I am not going to waste my time on anybody who doesn’t plan on treating me well. I don’t ask much, just your everyday niceties and some common courtesy.

Then there was the guy that I swear had been born a woman. I have absolutely NO homosexual tendencies and I don’t care if you can LEGALLY changed yourself into a man...that’s just a bit too close for me. NOT THAT THERE’S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT! It’s just not for me.

But, all around, the men have been pretty nice. Not one of them has made any moves on me and not one of them has treated me poorly. None of them have met me in an old beater of a car. They all have good jobs and most of them were business owners. I guess they really don’t have the time to look around too much so the internet is a pretty good option for them. And it’s a pretty good option for me because I don’t get out too much and except for church, there aren’t too many places that I go where there even ARE any men. Actually, it’s worked out perfectly for me so far because all I wanted to do anyway, if you remember, was to go out with a lot of guys once or twice. So, that’s the way it has worked out. I meet them once and go out to dinner once or twice. Some I never see again and some I am still phoning or emailing...I think a few are waiting for my divorce to become final if you know what I mean. :)

There have truly been a few gems...remember the guy who called an audible and repaired my door when he saw that my house had been broken into and my door couldn’t be secured. He even came back with a drill and installed a new door knob and dead bolt lock. Another guy installed (and paid for!) motion detector lights. One guy fixed my oven and a few have been nice enough to offer to mow my lawn. I have never asked any of them to do anything, they just see the situation that I'm in and they offer to help. Isn’t that sweet?

So, I see no reason to change my plans in the foreseeable future, this is nice. One of these days I may meet someone very special. But I’m not in any hurry. I kind of like my life the way it is and I am so thankful for all the genuinely nice guys that I have met.

You know, they have treated me so well that they are undoing some of the damage that was done during the marriage. Years of degradation can make you accept some seriously atrocious treatment. It is utterly appalling what a person will not only accept, but fear losing. I held onto that marriage, literally for dear life and I can’t for the life of me understand why. I allowed another person to manipulate me and turn me into a pathetic entity that I didn‘t recognize. The manipulation was so insidious, that I didn’t see it happening. Before I knew it, a very confidant, happy woman was turned into an insecure, needy shell of her former self.

Certainly this blog has helped in many, many ways. By the way, VLB, a blog is defined thusly:

1. web log: a shared on-line journal where people can post diary entries about their personal experiences

2. a public web site where users post informal journals of their thoughts, comments, and philosophies

3. An online journal, published frequently (often daily). Readers can post comments on each journal entry. Some blogs gain a wide readership, such as this one:

http://brianandthetruth.blogspot.com/

So, you see, my blog is a journal that I keep about myself. I apologize if you think that I use the words “I” and “me” too much. The entire purpose is to write about me and my thoughts. That doesn’t make me “self absorbed”, it makes me a blogger because:

“The author of a blog is often referred to as a blogger.”

And in review, a blog is:

A frequent, chronological publication of personal thoughts

Try to think about that. Also, if a normal person found a blog to be offensive, they wouldn’t come back to it 50 times a day. But you, on the other hand, go to an enormous amount of effort to come here and read every word I write just to comment about how bad it is. I believe that makes you something less than normal.

(THIS PARAGRAPH HAS BEEN REMOVED UPON THE ADVICE OF GUY...AND WITH GOOD REASON)

Which brings me back to online dating. One of the guys I met is a network administrator. How handy is that?

Have a lovely evening!

Meg Kelso