Dear Meg,
How did you know your husband was cheating on you? My husband treats me bad and he always treated me like a princess before. I ask him why and he always tells me the same thing he is not cheating on me. I don’t believe him and I don’t know why but if he all of a sudden started acting mean there must be a reason. He doesn’t make love to me anymore with no reason just he is tired but he never was so tired before. He is at work more than he used to be at work but there isn’t more money in his paycheck....
Well, girl, you seem to have answered your own question as to whether or not it sounds like yours is cheating. You have come up with three of the biggest red flags that there are for cheating spouses. I certainly don't want to indict your husband without a fair trial, but those are a few of the things that should have clued me into Rick's affairs. I had some more info like hang up calls, other women answering the number on redial when nobody else but Rick and I were in the house. His line at work was busier than it had ever been in the past. There were so many other things that I should have picked up on but that isn't the most important thing that you should be thinking about. What is more important is that I didn't want to believe the proof that was right in front of my eyes so I didn't. I believed him until the very end of our marriage and would still be falling for his ridiculous lies today if he were still here lying to me.
If you have tried to talk to your husband and still get no answers as to why he is treating you so badly, and he refuses to even try to treat you decently, you need to get out and do things by yourself. Go find your friends or make some new feriends, but get out and concentrate on developing a strong support system for yourself. If I had been healthy enough and smart enough, I would have done just that. The biggest mistake that I ever made was letting Rick become my whole life. Sooner or later liars lie and cheaters cheat and if you just wait around, you will continue to drive yourself insane wondering what the hell is going on. If you get out and make a life for yourself, you'll be in a healthier place and you'll see things a bit more clearly. You'll feel better about yourself and you'll have developed a group of people who will be wonderful to have around when and if your marriage does fall apart.
When you have a life of your own, you're less likely to settle for that shabby treatment. Also, your husband might sit up and take notice of the new you and he might decide that he should stay a bit closer to home. So, even if he IS NOT cheating on you, which is always a possibility, you will have done some very good things for yourself and your family. It isn't any fun to sit back and watch our mothers or our sisters or our daughters become miserable, wretched beings instead of the wonderful and happy people that they used to be. Anyone who truly cares about us will be happy to see us taking care of ourselves and becoming happier everyday. We don't need another person to be complete, as a matter of fact, depending on another person for our own happiness is one very good way to ensure that we are not happy...ever.
I spent far too much time worrying about why my husband was treating me so badly. Nothing that I did made him stop sleeping with other women. If I would have just taken care of myself instead of worrying about what that shit head was doing, I wouldn't be in such a bad spot right now. After 23 years, this man who told me that I was his soulmate and that he loved me like he had never loved another woman in his life, left me when I was sicker than I had ever been. Without thinking twice or feeling the slightest bit of remorse, he left me to rot with no job and no way to pay the bills. Of course, he left me with all of the bills, too. I let that all happen. If I had ever been honest with myself, I would never have let any of this happen. On one hand I KNEW he was cheating...on the other hand, I couldn't believe that he would do that to me again. So, I just sat there and took it.
Whatever is going on in your marriage, you have to take care of yourself. You deserve to have a husband who will be honest and loyal to you. If you just sit back and think about it you'll realize that you are better off without this man. Let some skanky wench have him, that's all he deserves. People who would sleep around like that deserve to be with others of their own kind. I find it very satisfying that Rick and Gail are stuck with each other. Neither one of them will ever be quite sure that they won't cheat as neither one of them has any respect for vows and they both know that about each other. They will NEVER, EVER have the happiness that comes from a pure and decent love affair, just the smuttiness that goes along with the taudry, illicit sex that they haven't the self control to deny. Of course, some people will never know the meaning of making love so it won't matter to them. But we'll know what they are missing. Everybody who knows them will know that they are incapable of feeling that kind of love. When your husband and mine are humping the cavernous hole of some trashy slut, they will have no better than a raw meat lined portal in which to deposit their STD bacteria. So, if you just rise above them and make a life for yourself, you will truly be ready for a love that you can be proud of and a man with whom you can truly make love. Now go out and getteth thyself a life...and make it a great one!
See ya!!!
Meg
Send comments to: Meg.Kelso@gmail.com
How did you know your husband was cheating on you? My husband treats me bad and he always treated me like a princess before. I ask him why and he always tells me the same thing he is not cheating on me. I don’t believe him and I don’t know why but if he all of a sudden started acting mean there must be a reason. He doesn’t make love to me anymore with no reason just he is tired but he never was so tired before. He is at work more than he used to be at work but there isn’t more money in his paycheck....
Well, girl, you seem to have answered your own question as to whether or not it sounds like yours is cheating. You have come up with three of the biggest red flags that there are for cheating spouses. I certainly don't want to indict your husband without a fair trial, but those are a few of the things that should have clued me into Rick's affairs. I had some more info like hang up calls, other women answering the number on redial when nobody else but Rick and I were in the house. His line at work was busier than it had ever been in the past. There were so many other things that I should have picked up on but that isn't the most important thing that you should be thinking about. What is more important is that I didn't want to believe the proof that was right in front of my eyes so I didn't. I believed him until the very end of our marriage and would still be falling for his ridiculous lies today if he were still here lying to me.
If you have tried to talk to your husband and still get no answers as to why he is treating you so badly, and he refuses to even try to treat you decently, you need to get out and do things by yourself. Go find your friends or make some new feriends, but get out and concentrate on developing a strong support system for yourself. If I had been healthy enough and smart enough, I would have done just that. The biggest mistake that I ever made was letting Rick become my whole life. Sooner or later liars lie and cheaters cheat and if you just wait around, you will continue to drive yourself insane wondering what the hell is going on. If you get out and make a life for yourself, you'll be in a healthier place and you'll see things a bit more clearly. You'll feel better about yourself and you'll have developed a group of people who will be wonderful to have around when and if your marriage does fall apart.
When you have a life of your own, you're less likely to settle for that shabby treatment. Also, your husband might sit up and take notice of the new you and he might decide that he should stay a bit closer to home. So, even if he IS NOT cheating on you, which is always a possibility, you will have done some very good things for yourself and your family. It isn't any fun to sit back and watch our mothers or our sisters or our daughters become miserable, wretched beings instead of the wonderful and happy people that they used to be. Anyone who truly cares about us will be happy to see us taking care of ourselves and becoming happier everyday. We don't need another person to be complete, as a matter of fact, depending on another person for our own happiness is one very good way to ensure that we are not happy...ever.
I spent far too much time worrying about why my husband was treating me so badly. Nothing that I did made him stop sleeping with other women. If I would have just taken care of myself instead of worrying about what that shit head was doing, I wouldn't be in such a bad spot right now. After 23 years, this man who told me that I was his soulmate and that he loved me like he had never loved another woman in his life, left me when I was sicker than I had ever been. Without thinking twice or feeling the slightest bit of remorse, he left me to rot with no job and no way to pay the bills. Of course, he left me with all of the bills, too. I let that all happen. If I had ever been honest with myself, I would never have let any of this happen. On one hand I KNEW he was cheating...on the other hand, I couldn't believe that he would do that to me again. So, I just sat there and took it.
Whatever is going on in your marriage, you have to take care of yourself. You deserve to have a husband who will be honest and loyal to you. If you just sit back and think about it you'll realize that you are better off without this man. Let some skanky wench have him, that's all he deserves. People who would sleep around like that deserve to be with others of their own kind. I find it very satisfying that Rick and Gail are stuck with each other. Neither one of them will ever be quite sure that they won't cheat as neither one of them has any respect for vows and they both know that about each other. They will NEVER, EVER have the happiness that comes from a pure and decent love affair, just the smuttiness that goes along with the taudry, illicit sex that they haven't the self control to deny. Of course, some people will never know the meaning of making love so it won't matter to them. But we'll know what they are missing. Everybody who knows them will know that they are incapable of feeling that kind of love. When your husband and mine are humping the cavernous hole of some trashy slut, they will have no better than a raw meat lined portal in which to deposit their STD bacteria. So, if you just rise above them and make a life for yourself, you will truly be ready for a love that you can be proud of and a man with whom you can truly make love. Now go out and getteth thyself a life...and make it a great one!
See ya!!!
Meg
Send comments to: Meg.Kelso@gmail.com
posted by Meg Kelso | 4:48 PM
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