OK, now I’ve seen it all...
...well, almost all. Certainly more than I ever wanted to see. The picture below is Jaren. He thinks that I am very cute. I don’t know how he would know that, he has only seen my backside. He emailed me and told me how “sweet” I was. I wonder what he means by sweet...a sweet girl shouldn’t receive a picture like the one he sent to me. I lead a very sheltered life and I pretty much always have.
I am not quite up on all of the things that people do nowadays that would have made them social outcasts when I was younger. I’m sure that there were sleazy sex freaks back then, hell, I married one. But, it wasn’t cool to say it and it certainly wasn’t cool to flaunt it. I was actually a virgin on my wedding night and I have never cheated on a husband in my life. So, it does surprise me when I see people act and dress the way that they do.
I never see these things coming although in hindsight, I always feel like a boob when I finally do actually think about it. I am stunned that a man would advertise his ware’s right online like Jaren did. I suppose after some of the women that I saw in Florida, I shouldn’t limit this line of reasoning to men. I have never seen so many fake tits in one place as I did at the mall in Tampa yesterday. I swear, one woman in 30 looked like they had big fake tittys hanging off of their chest. Well, they didn’t actually hang, which, of course, is how you can tell that they were fake. Most of the women with those huge things wore tiny low cut t-shirts with no bra to be sure that nobody would miss them. Now that I think of it, I wonder how many fake tits were covered up by real clothing. Oh well.
I have found out so much that Rick did that I am thinking about getting an AIDS test, just to be on the safe side. I certainly will before I start “enjoying the benefits of a single woman” on a regular basis. But for now, I am just happy to know that he and his deformed, rapid fire, humpback of a one-eyed worry worm didn’t give me an STD like he did the whacky chick that he left here in Georgia. (There was a time when he used a rubber and he told me that it was because he was afraid that I might have a yeast infection. Two months after he left, Bimbo #8 emailed me that he had given her an STD. For a minute, I thought that he had used the rubber to protect me. Then I realized that he didn’t care if he had infected me or not...hell, he got GAIL GLENN pregnant so he couldn’t have been protecting her either. He knew that if he had given it to me, his gig would be up. We were both tested for STD’s when we were going to the fertility doctor to try to get pregnant and we were both as clean as a whistle at that point. He had sworn that he hadn’t been dippin’ the dick stick since Noreen, and that was a very long time ago.) I don’t know for sure when he actually swapped the spit that infected him, all I know is that this chick, Robyn (his second Robyn with the same spelling! And, as long as he goes to work in the morning, he isn't done!), told me that she had to go to the doctor for some pretty nasty sounding symptoms last October, I think it was October anyway. My guess is that he either had contracted it last August or he just had an outbreak of something last August and needed to hide it from me because that’s when he used the rubber.
Anyway, back to the fake tits and Jaren the A.H.O.M. (amazing hard on man). This guy is only 31. I doubt that many men my age would actually do something like this, maybe once they know you but certainly not in the first email. That’s like just whipping it out on a first date...before you even get to dinner. Can you imagine, this guy has a mother who loves him and would be absolutely freaked if she knew what her son was up to. It makes me wonder about my son. Well, Rick is a perv, maybe he was the sex fiend for the household. It’s kinda frightening. Oh, wait, we had at least two sex fiends. Rick’s youngest son would use the phone to place hundreds of dollars worth of phone calls to ugly women who couldn’t get a job at McDonald’s when he was only 13 or 14. He certainly comes by it honestly.
One of the things that separates us from the animal world is our ability to restrain ourselves when it comes to certain bodily functions and some of our more base urges like farting. Rick is a bit closer to the animal kingdom than your average, decent man. You gotta be careful with some people. Jaren is a bit too...how should I say it? Demonstrative...at least for my tastes. I am not going to be so blind to such things in the future. The only way to end up with an honorable man is to weed out the more disgusting guys. You can’t expect to have a good person by your side when you surround yourself with icky people. I spent enough time with Rick before we got married that I let my own standards go down without even noticing it. I allowed him and his behavior to become the “norm” and so I accepted far too much that I never would have accepted before spending so much time with him and the people in his circle. They all used drugs and drank too much, hell, he had one in-law that was imprisoned for sexually molesting his step-daughter. Rick told me that his step father was a pimp, drug dealer and gun dealer and his mother is an alcoholic who lied to her children about who their father’s were. I felt sorry for him and that’s fine, but I should have left it at pity and not let it turn into some kind of mission to save a poor social misfit. I mistook that pity for love and I paid dearly for that mistake.
So, Jaren and those like him will never be a part of my life. Luckily for most of us, these type of people do not really hide themselves, they pretty much dress and act like what they are. It’s just that sometimes, decent people might let their standards be lowered to a point where they would accept behavior that, deep down inside, they know is wrong. Even Rick knows that adultery is wrong...but his family and those that he associates with are so slimy that he doesn’t see exactly HOW wrong it is. Once you let yourself be dragged down to a place that is not one that you were raised to visit, it’s hard to live with yourself. You end up doing something even worse to make yourself feel better. For me, it was drinking. I’m so glad that I never became a serious alcoholic, but I was certainly well on my way. I was lucky enough to just stop enjoying the booze, I didn’t have to attend AA or anything like that. I thank God for that because if memory serves, I really, really enjoyed drinking. I remember thinking how much I loved the fun that I had out at night. That Gloria Gaynor song, “I Love the Nightlife” was truly my anthem.
I am actually glad that my life has gone the way that it has...I learned some very important lessons along the way. One of them was about honesty. My parents taught me things that Rick’s parents were too drunk to teach...they taught us about personal responsibility. They said things like, “Maturity is accepting responsibility for the things that you do.” And, “Admitting your mistakes is a sign of maturity.” We were taught that things are ALWAYS worse when you lie. How many of you remember hearing that line? Some of us were lucky enough to have parents that cared enough about us to say these things. Sadly, other people are raised by such self-absorbed twits that they never heard things like that. The fact the you remember hearing stuff like that is evidence that kids do, indeed, listen to their parents. The parents just need to SPEAK! The things that we teach our kids don’t change them overnight. But, someday when they need to hear these things, they will be there for them. We as parents may or may not live to see the day, but sure as the sky is blue, our kids WILL hear the things that we say to them. Maybe it will be in the form of a memory, maybe it will come from a sibling, but sooner or later, if that information is in there, they will hear it.
Another good thing to come out of my drinking was another lesson about people and honesty. I was speaking to an acquaintance who was in recovery from being a drug addict. I asked her what gave her the hope to even try giving drugs up. She responded, “Just the tiny glimmer of hope that perhaps I could be clean and sober.” For some reason, right then and there I told her that I had a drinking problem. I had never uttered those words to a soul, not even to myself. But, tell her I did and what happened knocked me over like a ton of bricks. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. She didn’t shun me, she didn’t look down upon me, she didn’t even say that I was bad, or wrong, or worthless. I admitted it to everybody. Of course, nobody else was the least bit surprised to hear it. I never kept my drinking a secret. And the same thing happened whenever anybody heard that I drank too much.
Nobody said the first negative word and all of my friends stayed right where they had been all along. Telling the truth was not a bad thing, it was a good thing. I have never bothered lying since then. It is so much easier to tell the truth, you have so much less to remember. You get a reputation as an honest person and that’s a good thing.
My point, as foggy as it may be...is that I let Rick drag me down to a level where I don’t belong and I accepted it. I let that type of behavior become the norm and I failed to see it for what it was. I will never let that happen again. I could just as easily let something worse become the norm or I could have been unlucky enough to have not survived to find my way out of that life.
And, in considering all of that, I have to thank God that I was finally allowed an escape and an opportunity to see my life clearly for the first time in decades. I hope that there is somebody out there who can benefit from what I am trying to say. Liars don’t usually see themselves and neither do most cretins. But decent people should be able to see themselves and recognize their life for what it is. When they do, they should change the things that they know are wrong. As I said before, we need to be our own best friends and take some of our best advice. The hope of what a decent life could be like and the knowledge that I will never sink so low again is so exciting, I have no idea how good it can get but I know it will be wonderful, because that’s the kind of person I am and the kind of life that I deserve.
See ya,
Meg
Send comments to: Meg.Kelso@gmail.com
...well, almost all. Certainly more than I ever wanted to see. The picture below is Jaren. He thinks that I am very cute. I don’t know how he would know that, he has only seen my backside. He emailed me and told me how “sweet” I was. I wonder what he means by sweet...a sweet girl shouldn’t receive a picture like the one he sent to me. I lead a very sheltered life and I pretty much always have.
I am not quite up on all of the things that people do nowadays that would have made them social outcasts when I was younger. I’m sure that there were sleazy sex freaks back then, hell, I married one. But, it wasn’t cool to say it and it certainly wasn’t cool to flaunt it. I was actually a virgin on my wedding night and I have never cheated on a husband in my life. So, it does surprise me when I see people act and dress the way that they do.
I never see these things coming although in hindsight, I always feel like a boob when I finally do actually think about it. I am stunned that a man would advertise his ware’s right online like Jaren did. I suppose after some of the women that I saw in Florida, I shouldn’t limit this line of reasoning to men. I have never seen so many fake tits in one place as I did at the mall in Tampa yesterday. I swear, one woman in 30 looked like they had big fake tittys hanging off of their chest. Well, they didn’t actually hang, which, of course, is how you can tell that they were fake. Most of the women with those huge things wore tiny low cut t-shirts with no bra to be sure that nobody would miss them. Now that I think of it, I wonder how many fake tits were covered up by real clothing. Oh well.
I have found out so much that Rick did that I am thinking about getting an AIDS test, just to be on the safe side. I certainly will before I start “enjoying the benefits of a single woman” on a regular basis. But for now, I am just happy to know that he and his deformed, rapid fire, humpback of a one-eyed worry worm didn’t give me an STD like he did the whacky chick that he left here in Georgia. (There was a time when he used a rubber and he told me that it was because he was afraid that I might have a yeast infection. Two months after he left, Bimbo #8 emailed me that he had given her an STD. For a minute, I thought that he had used the rubber to protect me. Then I realized that he didn’t care if he had infected me or not...hell, he got GAIL GLENN pregnant so he couldn’t have been protecting her either. He knew that if he had given it to me, his gig would be up. We were both tested for STD’s when we were going to the fertility doctor to try to get pregnant and we were both as clean as a whistle at that point. He had sworn that he hadn’t been dippin’ the dick stick since Noreen, and that was a very long time ago.) I don’t know for sure when he actually swapped the spit that infected him, all I know is that this chick, Robyn (his second Robyn with the same spelling! And, as long as he goes to work in the morning, he isn't done!), told me that she had to go to the doctor for some pretty nasty sounding symptoms last October, I think it was October anyway. My guess is that he either had contracted it last August or he just had an outbreak of something last August and needed to hide it from me because that’s when he used the rubber.
Anyway, back to the fake tits and Jaren the A.H.O.M. (amazing hard on man). This guy is only 31. I doubt that many men my age would actually do something like this, maybe once they know you but certainly not in the first email. That’s like just whipping it out on a first date...before you even get to dinner. Can you imagine, this guy has a mother who loves him and would be absolutely freaked if she knew what her son was up to. It makes me wonder about my son. Well, Rick is a perv, maybe he was the sex fiend for the household. It’s kinda frightening. Oh, wait, we had at least two sex fiends. Rick’s youngest son would use the phone to place hundreds of dollars worth of phone calls to ugly women who couldn’t get a job at McDonald’s when he was only 13 or 14. He certainly comes by it honestly.
One of the things that separates us from the animal world is our ability to restrain ourselves when it comes to certain bodily functions and some of our more base urges like farting. Rick is a bit closer to the animal kingdom than your average, decent man. You gotta be careful with some people. Jaren is a bit too...how should I say it? Demonstrative...at least for my tastes. I am not going to be so blind to such things in the future. The only way to end up with an honorable man is to weed out the more disgusting guys. You can’t expect to have a good person by your side when you surround yourself with icky people. I spent enough time with Rick before we got married that I let my own standards go down without even noticing it. I allowed him and his behavior to become the “norm” and so I accepted far too much that I never would have accepted before spending so much time with him and the people in his circle. They all used drugs and drank too much, hell, he had one in-law that was imprisoned for sexually molesting his step-daughter. Rick told me that his step father was a pimp, drug dealer and gun dealer and his mother is an alcoholic who lied to her children about who their father’s were. I felt sorry for him and that’s fine, but I should have left it at pity and not let it turn into some kind of mission to save a poor social misfit. I mistook that pity for love and I paid dearly for that mistake.
So, Jaren and those like him will never be a part of my life. Luckily for most of us, these type of people do not really hide themselves, they pretty much dress and act like what they are. It’s just that sometimes, decent people might let their standards be lowered to a point where they would accept behavior that, deep down inside, they know is wrong. Even Rick knows that adultery is wrong...but his family and those that he associates with are so slimy that he doesn’t see exactly HOW wrong it is. Once you let yourself be dragged down to a place that is not one that you were raised to visit, it’s hard to live with yourself. You end up doing something even worse to make yourself feel better. For me, it was drinking. I’m so glad that I never became a serious alcoholic, but I was certainly well on my way. I was lucky enough to just stop enjoying the booze, I didn’t have to attend AA or anything like that. I thank God for that because if memory serves, I really, really enjoyed drinking. I remember thinking how much I loved the fun that I had out at night. That Gloria Gaynor song, “I Love the Nightlife” was truly my anthem.
I am actually glad that my life has gone the way that it has...I learned some very important lessons along the way. One of them was about honesty. My parents taught me things that Rick’s parents were too drunk to teach...they taught us about personal responsibility. They said things like, “Maturity is accepting responsibility for the things that you do.” And, “Admitting your mistakes is a sign of maturity.” We were taught that things are ALWAYS worse when you lie. How many of you remember hearing that line? Some of us were lucky enough to have parents that cared enough about us to say these things. Sadly, other people are raised by such self-absorbed twits that they never heard things like that. The fact the you remember hearing stuff like that is evidence that kids do, indeed, listen to their parents. The parents just need to SPEAK! The things that we teach our kids don’t change them overnight. But, someday when they need to hear these things, they will be there for them. We as parents may or may not live to see the day, but sure as the sky is blue, our kids WILL hear the things that we say to them. Maybe it will be in the form of a memory, maybe it will come from a sibling, but sooner or later, if that information is in there, they will hear it.
Another good thing to come out of my drinking was another lesson about people and honesty. I was speaking to an acquaintance who was in recovery from being a drug addict. I asked her what gave her the hope to even try giving drugs up. She responded, “Just the tiny glimmer of hope that perhaps I could be clean and sober.” For some reason, right then and there I told her that I had a drinking problem. I had never uttered those words to a soul, not even to myself. But, tell her I did and what happened knocked me over like a ton of bricks. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. She didn’t shun me, she didn’t look down upon me, she didn’t even say that I was bad, or wrong, or worthless. I admitted it to everybody. Of course, nobody else was the least bit surprised to hear it. I never kept my drinking a secret. And the same thing happened whenever anybody heard that I drank too much.
Nobody said the first negative word and all of my friends stayed right where they had been all along. Telling the truth was not a bad thing, it was a good thing. I have never bothered lying since then. It is so much easier to tell the truth, you have so much less to remember. You get a reputation as an honest person and that’s a good thing.
My point, as foggy as it may be...is that I let Rick drag me down to a level where I don’t belong and I accepted it. I let that type of behavior become the norm and I failed to see it for what it was. I will never let that happen again. I could just as easily let something worse become the norm or I could have been unlucky enough to have not survived to find my way out of that life.
And, in considering all of that, I have to thank God that I was finally allowed an escape and an opportunity to see my life clearly for the first time in decades. I hope that there is somebody out there who can benefit from what I am trying to say. Liars don’t usually see themselves and neither do most cretins. But decent people should be able to see themselves and recognize their life for what it is. When they do, they should change the things that they know are wrong. As I said before, we need to be our own best friends and take some of our best advice. The hope of what a decent life could be like and the knowledge that I will never sink so low again is so exciting, I have no idea how good it can get but I know it will be wonderful, because that’s the kind of person I am and the kind of life that I deserve.
See ya,
Meg
Send comments to: Meg.Kelso@gmail.com
posted by Meg Kelso | 4:33 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home