I’m so glad that I still...
...believe that there are some decent men on this planet. Whenever I start to doubt it, I come across one that proves there are men of honor and decency. I received this email from a man in response to my earlier query:
I think because he doesn't realize the level of hurt he caused (is causing) you. and, despite everything - you were probably the closest he's ever been with someone and there is a level of comfort he hasn't found elsewhere.
Rick would never have considered the fact that he is causing me pain. He doesn’t seem to have a clue how much pain he is causing me. As a matter of fact, if he is even aware of the hurt, he doesn’t care. The last time we spoke, I was fighting back the tears for most of the conversation. He didn’t ask what was wrong, he didn’t even seem to notice that I was crying. And then THIS guy emails me and instinctively knew that this was causing me pain. His wife is a very lucky woman. My husband not only doesn’t care, he doesn’t even seem to notice. He certainly wouldn’t ever consider calling me to see how I was doing in the first place, why I would ever expect him to do ANYTHING to make me feel even the slightest bit better is beyond me. It’s far easier for him to blame everything on me and let me feel like I deserve to be treated so shabbily. He wouldn’t ever feel badly for treating me like this, but he sure as hell would turn it all around to make me feel like shit.
As I said earlier, Rick is denying that he ever heard of a woman named Gail Glenn. There was no one else in the house who could have possibly called her for her number to be on redial. When I called her and hung up, she called me right back and started swearing and yelling, of course I hung up on her. Rick has never, ever admitted to anything that he has ever done unless I had undeniable evidence like the time that I found a love letter written by a sleazy skank that he worked with. At that time, we all worked for the same company and I was about the only one who DIDN’T know about them. After I found out, everyone came up to me and told me what they knew. I wish they would have told me sooner, but for whatever reason, they didn’t.
If the phone number on my phone wasn’t enough, the day that I went to the trailer park to find out where she lived, he came home from work irate at me but wouldn’t tell me why. Obviously, she had called him to tell him that I was outside her trailer. I’m not going to rehash all of the evidence that I had (like the sex lotion in my kitchen drawer that we certainly didn’t use.) but trust me, I had enough reason to KNOW that he was screwing the tramp and yet STIIL he denies it. When we spoke, I told him that I knew it and there was no reason for him to deny it but deny it he did. So, the summer from hell was all in my head.
I was speaking to another decent guy last night, my new friend Todd. He told me that when he was 17, he and his friends developed a strategy that they called “Deny All”. I can understand a bunch of 17 year old boys thinking like that, but sometime in a man’s life, you would think that the truth would be something that would occur to him.
But, in the same phone call that he told me that he has “changed”, he denied something that EVERYBODY else already knows, that he screwed a skanky slut and left their sex lotion in my house. I truly have changed. I’m finally getting back some of my self esteem. I’m more like the woman I was before I was turned into a nervous wreck.
Like a fool, I even accepted my own role in the break up of our marriage. I’m not even sure what the hell I did, but I owned it all. So, now he can say that I admitted to causing it all, and he will still deny that he did anything wrong. And not so much as an apology from him. There wasn’t anything that I could do last summer and there still isn’t a thing that I can do. He doesn’t care and I am starting to realize that he never really did. After well over 20 years of being together, he HAD to leave when I was as sick as I have ever been. I would have never done that to anyone. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror if I ever treated a STRANGER like that, much less the person that I promised to love, honor and keep, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. And forsaking ALL others, being faithful only to him so long as we both shall live.
I guess some people take those words seriously and others, only when it feels good. So, it’s off to divorce court I go.
...believe that there are some decent men on this planet. Whenever I start to doubt it, I come across one that proves there are men of honor and decency. I received this email from a man in response to my earlier query:
I think because he doesn't realize the level of hurt he caused (is causing) you. and, despite everything - you were probably the closest he's ever been with someone and there is a level of comfort he hasn't found elsewhere.
Rick would never have considered the fact that he is causing me pain. He doesn’t seem to have a clue how much pain he is causing me. As a matter of fact, if he is even aware of the hurt, he doesn’t care. The last time we spoke, I was fighting back the tears for most of the conversation. He didn’t ask what was wrong, he didn’t even seem to notice that I was crying. And then THIS guy emails me and instinctively knew that this was causing me pain. His wife is a very lucky woman. My husband not only doesn’t care, he doesn’t even seem to notice. He certainly wouldn’t ever consider calling me to see how I was doing in the first place, why I would ever expect him to do ANYTHING to make me feel even the slightest bit better is beyond me. It’s far easier for him to blame everything on me and let me feel like I deserve to be treated so shabbily. He wouldn’t ever feel badly for treating me like this, but he sure as hell would turn it all around to make me feel like shit.
As I said earlier, Rick is denying that he ever heard of a woman named Gail Glenn. There was no one else in the house who could have possibly called her for her number to be on redial. When I called her and hung up, she called me right back and started swearing and yelling, of course I hung up on her. Rick has never, ever admitted to anything that he has ever done unless I had undeniable evidence like the time that I found a love letter written by a sleazy skank that he worked with. At that time, we all worked for the same company and I was about the only one who DIDN’T know about them. After I found out, everyone came up to me and told me what they knew. I wish they would have told me sooner, but for whatever reason, they didn’t.
If the phone number on my phone wasn’t enough, the day that I went to the trailer park to find out where she lived, he came home from work irate at me but wouldn’t tell me why. Obviously, she had called him to tell him that I was outside her trailer. I’m not going to rehash all of the evidence that I had (like the sex lotion in my kitchen drawer that we certainly didn’t use.) but trust me, I had enough reason to KNOW that he was screwing the tramp and yet STIIL he denies it. When we spoke, I told him that I knew it and there was no reason for him to deny it but deny it he did. So, the summer from hell was all in my head.
I was speaking to another decent guy last night, my new friend Todd. He told me that when he was 17, he and his friends developed a strategy that they called “Deny All”. I can understand a bunch of 17 year old boys thinking like that, but sometime in a man’s life, you would think that the truth would be something that would occur to him.
But, in the same phone call that he told me that he has “changed”, he denied something that EVERYBODY else already knows, that he screwed a skanky slut and left their sex lotion in my house. I truly have changed. I’m finally getting back some of my self esteem. I’m more like the woman I was before I was turned into a nervous wreck.
Like a fool, I even accepted my own role in the break up of our marriage. I’m not even sure what the hell I did, but I owned it all. So, now he can say that I admitted to causing it all, and he will still deny that he did anything wrong. And not so much as an apology from him. There wasn’t anything that I could do last summer and there still isn’t a thing that I can do. He doesn’t care and I am starting to realize that he never really did. After well over 20 years of being together, he HAD to leave when I was as sick as I have ever been. I would have never done that to anyone. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror if I ever treated a STRANGER like that, much less the person that I promised to love, honor and keep, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. And forsaking ALL others, being faithful only to him so long as we both shall live.
I guess some people take those words seriously and others, only when it feels good. So, it’s off to divorce court I go.
posted by Meg Kelso | 7:53 AM
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