Oooh...
...I got my wish, I slept like a son of a gun. I wish I had known that I was going to sleep like that, I would have changed into my jammies. When I sleep like that, there’s no one to feed the animals the middle of their night meal. I tried feeding them just now, but they don’t seem hungry. Either that, or they just don’t get pointing. I pointed to their food and they just stare at my finger. So, I take my stupid finger all the way to the food and tap on it. I don’t know why I even point...they have no fingers, they don’t get it. But, everyday, I point to one thing or another for an animal to look at.
I've got the money for the rent, now I just have to remember to send it. I need an intern. Yeah, that’s it, an intern. How does one get an intern? I need a young man (yes, it is sexist and I don’t care.) who can stay here (I have an extra room.) and be standing by to bring me what I need or clean what I mess up and one who is willing to run a few errands. I’ll think up some more stuff for them to do, I’m sure.
I had called a truce with Rick but he isn’t keeping up his end of the bargain, so I may end it soon. That stupid truce was really cramping my style so I don’t mind much. Yeah, I’ll give him a little more time to keep his word, and then I’m going back to being a bitch.
This morning I noticed something, I don’t turn over at all when I sleep on the couch. That’s why I keep waking up and flipping over. I mean I change ends, I fall asleep on one side, and instead of turning over like a regular human, I get up, turn around and put my head at the other end and go back to sleep. That’s an awful lot of trouble to go through to roll over.
Today is doctor day, I have to go this afternoon. That should be fun, don’t you think? I get to sit in the room with all of the other sickies and then I get to go back into the little metal room and sit alone. I usually take the magazine that I’ve been reading. The only time I ever read magazines is in the doctor’s office. This doctor gets stupid magazines. Time and Newsweek are OK, but the articles are far too long to read in the doctor’s office. They have Golf Digest too, who in the hell reads that? Making a magazine about golfing is like making one about tic-tac-toe. After the first month, what is there to write about?
My son just got up, he overslept. Now he’s mad at me for letting him oversleep. Yeah, that’s my fault. OK, it’s ALLLLL my fault. If you doubt it, just ask Rick. Oh, man...the more I think of it, the more I want to end that truce now. Why I thought he’d keep his word now when he wouldn’t keep it when I was with him, I just don’t know. That was silly of me, don’t you think? I guess we all believe what we want to believe...no matter how many laws of physics the belief breaks.
I was thinking about dating a plumber, I need one....just a small job. But then I noticed the broken drawer. I would need a carpenter also. So, I think I should just find myself a contractor. Yeah, that’s good, or a jack of all trades. How does one get to be a jack of all trades? I could be one myself if I had enough books. I need to get a book on all of the systems in a house. I don’t know if they call them systems in a house or not, but that’s what they’re all called in a body. I get the body. I know why that works. But the intricacies of electricity elude me. I did change a light bulb yesterday. Literally...I took it out of one room and put it in another room. I ran out of light bulbs so I have to use some priority setting. There are rooms in which I do things that I have to see and rooms in which I do things that I don’t have to see. After this month of being too broke to buy light bulbs, that damn bill better go down some. I also haven’t used the AC, that should bring the bill down some. I have no little kids so I don’t need heat, just a blanket or a dude. I have a gas bill, but I don’t know what the heck that operates. Maybe I should stop paying that bill...then I’d find out. I don’t even know what the options are. What the heck runs on gas besides a car?
OK, I should go figure out my day...that means I need to make sure I have a clean bra to wear to the doctor’s office. You never know when you might have to take off your clothes...even when it’s your throat that is in question. I’ll be back when I wake up.
See ya,
Meg
PS That freaky dude who e-told me off is going down. Somebody e-mailed me to let me know he is an elected official in Ingham Country Michigan. What a jack ass. His ass is mine. I'll be right back with the web site of his governmental web site. (This guy is the reason that the word MENTAL is in governmental.) Come back in a little while and see what I find out about Mr. Millionaire. He should have been happy with my, "Have a nice life."
...I got my wish, I slept like a son of a gun. I wish I had known that I was going to sleep like that, I would have changed into my jammies. When I sleep like that, there’s no one to feed the animals the middle of their night meal. I tried feeding them just now, but they don’t seem hungry. Either that, or they just don’t get pointing. I pointed to their food and they just stare at my finger. So, I take my stupid finger all the way to the food and tap on it. I don’t know why I even point...they have no fingers, they don’t get it. But, everyday, I point to one thing or another for an animal to look at.
I've got the money for the rent, now I just have to remember to send it. I need an intern. Yeah, that’s it, an intern. How does one get an intern? I need a young man (yes, it is sexist and I don’t care.) who can stay here (I have an extra room.) and be standing by to bring me what I need or clean what I mess up and one who is willing to run a few errands. I’ll think up some more stuff for them to do, I’m sure.
I had called a truce with Rick but he isn’t keeping up his end of the bargain, so I may end it soon. That stupid truce was really cramping my style so I don’t mind much. Yeah, I’ll give him a little more time to keep his word, and then I’m going back to being a bitch.
This morning I noticed something, I don’t turn over at all when I sleep on the couch. That’s why I keep waking up and flipping over. I mean I change ends, I fall asleep on one side, and instead of turning over like a regular human, I get up, turn around and put my head at the other end and go back to sleep. That’s an awful lot of trouble to go through to roll over.
Today is doctor day, I have to go this afternoon. That should be fun, don’t you think? I get to sit in the room with all of the other sickies and then I get to go back into the little metal room and sit alone. I usually take the magazine that I’ve been reading. The only time I ever read magazines is in the doctor’s office. This doctor gets stupid magazines. Time and Newsweek are OK, but the articles are far too long to read in the doctor’s office. They have Golf Digest too, who in the hell reads that? Making a magazine about golfing is like making one about tic-tac-toe. After the first month, what is there to write about?
My son just got up, he overslept. Now he’s mad at me for letting him oversleep. Yeah, that’s my fault. OK, it’s ALLLLL my fault. If you doubt it, just ask Rick. Oh, man...the more I think of it, the more I want to end that truce now. Why I thought he’d keep his word now when he wouldn’t keep it when I was with him, I just don’t know. That was silly of me, don’t you think? I guess we all believe what we want to believe...no matter how many laws of physics the belief breaks.
I was thinking about dating a plumber, I need one....just a small job. But then I noticed the broken drawer. I would need a carpenter also. So, I think I should just find myself a contractor. Yeah, that’s good, or a jack of all trades. How does one get to be a jack of all trades? I could be one myself if I had enough books. I need to get a book on all of the systems in a house. I don’t know if they call them systems in a house or not, but that’s what they’re all called in a body. I get the body. I know why that works. But the intricacies of electricity elude me. I did change a light bulb yesterday. Literally...I took it out of one room and put it in another room. I ran out of light bulbs so I have to use some priority setting. There are rooms in which I do things that I have to see and rooms in which I do things that I don’t have to see. After this month of being too broke to buy light bulbs, that damn bill better go down some. I also haven’t used the AC, that should bring the bill down some. I have no little kids so I don’t need heat, just a blanket or a dude. I have a gas bill, but I don’t know what the heck that operates. Maybe I should stop paying that bill...then I’d find out. I don’t even know what the options are. What the heck runs on gas besides a car?
OK, I should go figure out my day...that means I need to make sure I have a clean bra to wear to the doctor’s office. You never know when you might have to take off your clothes...even when it’s your throat that is in question. I’ll be back when I wake up.
See ya,
Meg
PS That freaky dude who e-told me off is going down. Somebody e-mailed me to let me know he is an elected official in Ingham Country Michigan. What a jack ass. His ass is mine. I'll be right back with the web site of his governmental web site. (This guy is the reason that the word MENTAL is in governmental.) Come back in a little while and see what I find out about Mr. Millionaire. He should have been happy with my, "Have a nice life."
posted by Meg Kelso | 6:12 AM
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