I love men...
...and I think that most of them get a raw deal when it comes to divorce. I feel badly for them and wonder why some women are so intent on stealing fathers from their own children. I’m not a man hater and I’m not a women’s libber...not by any sense of the word. But, when the man in question has behaved atrociously...I can’t work up a healthy sympathy for them.
I never asked Rick for alimony and it never occurred to me that I would get it...the thought never crossed my mind. But, when we went to court for the second restraining order, the attorney that represented me from Cobb County Legal Aide saw to it that I was awarded alimony or spousal support or whatever they call it, much to my surprise. I was surprised even further when I was invited to mediation and informed that the spousal support would be going up and staying up rather than going down every year in $100 increments. Like I said, I never asked for it and I was rather hurt that Rick would rather pay $800 a month than to stay with me until I could go back to work so that he wouldn’t have to pay anything. But, he was in such a hurry to leave that he agreed to everything without ever once balking at the alimony, medical and dental insurance and the other little things that he had to pay.
So, that’s the deal...he has to pay me $800 a month and he can’t seem to get it straight. When he isn’t telling me how much he loves me (or when his girlfriend is right next to him as he speaks to me or writes to me), he is telling me that he is totally caught up with the alimony and that he can prove it. Well, I told him that he should just go ahead and copy all the proof that he has so that we can get it straightened out. After all, if he is telling the truth (and that’s quite an IF there), then there is a bunch of cash floating around somewhere because I don’t have it.
But, he would rather just keep on telling me about the proof and he refuses to show it to me. Yesterday I emailed him asking him if he would be sending the money soon. This is the email that I sent him:
You know...140 and 160 is 300, not 400. I just wanted to make sure that you didn't do the math wrong. Are you going to send the alimony today? I know you got paid yesterday. I'm trying to not be a bitch but I need to know when it will come. Also, according to your records...where are you in the payments? I have you one month behind plus that 100 bucks that you haven't sent from the partial payments, where are you in that picture? OK...I'm tired so I'm going to go to bed.
And he responded:
You know... 140 and 240 is what i wired you is 380 and i already said if your not willing to spilt the wiring fee then i owe you 20 bucks so please get your records straight. Yes i am going to send the money today or tommorrow,yesterday was the end of the pay period and i get payed today. And i'm not one month behind and i can prove it. Have a wonderful day!!!
So, he can prove it but he won’t. Now, part of his probation from when he pled guilty to domestic violence, was that he should stay current on his alimony. You would think that if he wasn’t going to stay current that he would at least be pleasant about it. I was very pleasant when he had some personal problems and everyone thought that I was an idiot for even trying to be nice to him.
Then, there’s the stupid tax crap that he continues to lie about. If Rick would have refrained from lying, I wouldn’t have had written to my congressman and he wouldn’t be dealing with the IRS on my behalf. It looks like he will never, ever learn that.
Todd said that I should just go to the courthouse and have him declared in contempt. I didn’t want to do that but this email has sort of gotten me thinking...why shouldn’t I? I have nothing to lose and I can’t keep telling people that “I’ll pay you when I get my alimony” because I never get it when I’m supposed to. And yet Rick acts all offended when I so much as ASK what’s going on with the money. I guess he thinks that the tactics that he used during our marriage will still work on me.
I need to know what’s up with the alimony so that I can pay or not pay my own bills. I’m not living in a trailer that belongs to my step-grandfather and I actually have to pay rent and bills for this house that he brought me to in this state that he brought me to. So...I guess the moral of this story is that if you are going to take your wife away from her home and everyone that she knows who can help her, you shouldn’t leave her in a state that will make you pay through the nose.
OK...I have to go and find something to do. It will have to be something free because I’m broke again. But...there are a helluva a lot worse things than being broke!
Meg
...and I think that most of them get a raw deal when it comes to divorce. I feel badly for them and wonder why some women are so intent on stealing fathers from their own children. I’m not a man hater and I’m not a women’s libber...not by any sense of the word. But, when the man in question has behaved atrociously...I can’t work up a healthy sympathy for them.
I never asked Rick for alimony and it never occurred to me that I would get it...the thought never crossed my mind. But, when we went to court for the second restraining order, the attorney that represented me from Cobb County Legal Aide saw to it that I was awarded alimony or spousal support or whatever they call it, much to my surprise. I was surprised even further when I was invited to mediation and informed that the spousal support would be going up and staying up rather than going down every year in $100 increments. Like I said, I never asked for it and I was rather hurt that Rick would rather pay $800 a month than to stay with me until I could go back to work so that he wouldn’t have to pay anything. But, he was in such a hurry to leave that he agreed to everything without ever once balking at the alimony, medical and dental insurance and the other little things that he had to pay.
So, that’s the deal...he has to pay me $800 a month and he can’t seem to get it straight. When he isn’t telling me how much he loves me (or when his girlfriend is right next to him as he speaks to me or writes to me), he is telling me that he is totally caught up with the alimony and that he can prove it. Well, I told him that he should just go ahead and copy all the proof that he has so that we can get it straightened out. After all, if he is telling the truth (and that’s quite an IF there), then there is a bunch of cash floating around somewhere because I don’t have it.
But, he would rather just keep on telling me about the proof and he refuses to show it to me. Yesterday I emailed him asking him if he would be sending the money soon. This is the email that I sent him:
You know...140 and 160 is 300, not 400. I just wanted to make sure that you didn't do the math wrong. Are you going to send the alimony today? I know you got paid yesterday. I'm trying to not be a bitch but I need to know when it will come. Also, according to your records...where are you in the payments? I have you one month behind plus that 100 bucks that you haven't sent from the partial payments, where are you in that picture? OK...I'm tired so I'm going to go to bed.
And he responded:
You know... 140 and 240 is what i wired you is 380 and i already said if your not willing to spilt the wiring fee then i owe you 20 bucks so please get your records straight. Yes i am going to send the money today or tommorrow,yesterday was the end of the pay period and i get payed today. And i'm not one month behind and i can prove it. Have a wonderful day!!!
So, he can prove it but he won’t. Now, part of his probation from when he pled guilty to domestic violence, was that he should stay current on his alimony. You would think that if he wasn’t going to stay current that he would at least be pleasant about it. I was very pleasant when he had some personal problems and everyone thought that I was an idiot for even trying to be nice to him.
Then, there’s the stupid tax crap that he continues to lie about. If Rick would have refrained from lying, I wouldn’t have had written to my congressman and he wouldn’t be dealing with the IRS on my behalf. It looks like he will never, ever learn that.
Todd said that I should just go to the courthouse and have him declared in contempt. I didn’t want to do that but this email has sort of gotten me thinking...why shouldn’t I? I have nothing to lose and I can’t keep telling people that “I’ll pay you when I get my alimony” because I never get it when I’m supposed to. And yet Rick acts all offended when I so much as ASK what’s going on with the money. I guess he thinks that the tactics that he used during our marriage will still work on me.
I need to know what’s up with the alimony so that I can pay or not pay my own bills. I’m not living in a trailer that belongs to my step-grandfather and I actually have to pay rent and bills for this house that he brought me to in this state that he brought me to. So...I guess the moral of this story is that if you are going to take your wife away from her home and everyone that she knows who can help her, you shouldn’t leave her in a state that will make you pay through the nose.
OK...I have to go and find something to do. It will have to be something free because I’m broke again. But...there are a helluva a lot worse things than being broke!
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 9:45 AM
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