Dear Crabby,
"Sorry, I couldn’t help myself...I read what you said about you’re exs wife, but how do you handle it when the kids are small and you have to see the woman who acts all crazy everytime? My ex was like you‘res was, all normal until he married again. Now he acts like he hates me..."
Well, I just refused to deal with them when they acted nuts. I literally hung up on my ex every time he called me because he would behave in such an abusive manner. The two of them must bicker with each other in such a nutty way that they think other people act like that and would happily participate in the festivities. But most of us, of course, don’t act like nuts. When someone wants to deal with me on a reasonable level, I happily oblige. But when someone acts like an idiot, I just hang up. It took two years of me hanging up before he came up with something that he wanted to say badly enough to say nicely.
If there is someone who is impossible to avoid and disallows a normal relationship with your children, I would just go to court and have a judge take over. Too many people try to handle nuts alone when a judge is really the only way that the nut will listen. Your children will remember every bit of this so act like the adult and get on with your life. If something doesn’t affect you or your children, then shut up and read a good book. If it does, try to handle it in an adult manner. If someone makes it tough...just pick up the kids and leave. Trust family members to, sooner or later, see the nut for what they are. No matter how much they say to other people, if you never, ever do anything in retaliation, people, his family and hers, will see the situation for what it is. So just go ahead and act like the best person in the triangle.
One more thing, do your best not to make your children feel as though they are being disloyal to you by loving their other parent. What an awful position to be in. People do that to kids in such subtle ways as just saying bad things about hobbies of the parent who is being dissed. And they do it in outright ways such as saying, “You treat your mother better than you treat us.” It’s such a childish, no...cruel thing to do to other human beings and it sucks positive energy out of your own life. So, just go forth and be happy, it really is the best revenge.
"Sorry, I couldn’t help myself...I read what you said about you’re exs wife, but how do you handle it when the kids are small and you have to see the woman who acts all crazy everytime? My ex was like you‘res was, all normal until he married again. Now he acts like he hates me..."
Well, I just refused to deal with them when they acted nuts. I literally hung up on my ex every time he called me because he would behave in such an abusive manner. The two of them must bicker with each other in such a nutty way that they think other people act like that and would happily participate in the festivities. But most of us, of course, don’t act like nuts. When someone wants to deal with me on a reasonable level, I happily oblige. But when someone acts like an idiot, I just hang up. It took two years of me hanging up before he came up with something that he wanted to say badly enough to say nicely.
If there is someone who is impossible to avoid and disallows a normal relationship with your children, I would just go to court and have a judge take over. Too many people try to handle nuts alone when a judge is really the only way that the nut will listen. Your children will remember every bit of this so act like the adult and get on with your life. If something doesn’t affect you or your children, then shut up and read a good book. If it does, try to handle it in an adult manner. If someone makes it tough...just pick up the kids and leave. Trust family members to, sooner or later, see the nut for what they are. No matter how much they say to other people, if you never, ever do anything in retaliation, people, his family and hers, will see the situation for what it is. So just go ahead and act like the best person in the triangle.
One more thing, do your best not to make your children feel as though they are being disloyal to you by loving their other parent. What an awful position to be in. People do that to kids in such subtle ways as just saying bad things about hobbies of the parent who is being dissed. And they do it in outright ways such as saying, “You treat your mother better than you treat us.” It’s such a childish, no...cruel thing to do to other human beings and it sucks positive energy out of your own life. So, just go forth and be happy, it really is the best revenge.
posted by Meg Kelso | 8:01 AM
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