Dear Meg,

...I find it hard to believe that you wouldn't mind if your new boyfriend went to a strip club. Can you honestly say that it wouldn't bother you if he went to look at other women naked?...

First of all, I never said that I wouldn't mind. I don't really know if I would or not but I would hope that I wouldn't mind. I say that because I fell in love with someone who always freely admitted to stuff like that. He comments on other women as well and that doesn't bother me. He always has and it never occurred to me to change him. To be honest though, it hasn't come up so I don't know how I would feel.

I do know that if Rick had done it, it would have bothered me a lot. That's just because I know that there would be lying involved and I would have a hard time with that. He came into the relationship lying and it's on me for staying but it led me to live with a frame of mind that was always wondering what was really going on. That touched every aspect of our life and ultimately trashed the marriage. I couldn't trust him as far as I could throw him and I knew it. I've never caught this one in a lie so I have absolutely nothing to worry about. So, no. I don't think I'd mind dreadfully much if he went to a strip club. It's not as though they can't see as much on any given television show or movie that they might watch so I don't see what difference it makes. But...until it happens, I wouldn't be able to say that it wouldn't bother me.

I know me pretty well and what stuff like that USED to do to me...B.R., (before Rick). It just would have made me do something else by myself that reminds me that I, too, have the freedom to do such things. I wouldn't go to a male strip club...I'd just go out and shoot pool in some nice little sports bar and mind my own business. Actually, that's probably a pretty good idea...you just both go out and do something that you really enjoy. If the dude wants to go to the titty bar, the chick should be free to go out and do something herself. Both should chip in for the baby sitter if that's an issue, but they should both go out knowing that the other person is doing the same, having fun innocently. Now, that word is relative so it means different things to different people. To some women, a man at a strip club is reason enough to be the OPPOSITE of innocent. And, there are men who think that a woman flirting at the pool table is never innocent...but I know that flirting can most certainly be done innocently...and anywhere.

So, do you believe me now? Another part of your email asked if I was "sorry yet". Nope. Not yet. I'm going go to a place where I have more of a support system and that's always a good thing. So...nope, I'm not sorry. I like my new place and I look forward to fixing it up. That's gonna be part of my rent and I love to decorate stuff so it will be fun for me and I'll have it just like I want it and I have good taste so that's a good thing. I'll take pictures and post them as I fix stuff...that is if I can find a replacement cord for the one that my dog ate. That's the cord that connects my digital camera to the puter. I can take pictures, I just can't take them off of the camera. OK...I just wanted to address that email. I'm going to go write something that I wanted to write now...unless I find some other email that I feel liike responding to as I answer the deluge that I have in my inbox. So, one way or another, I'll be back soon.

Meg