I received an email from...
....a lady who wanted to know "how you know if a man will always be violent" and "how do you know for sure that you're in love?". She asked me not to print the entire email so I won't but in it, she says that her boyfriend had gotten viloent a "couple" of times and that he promised that it was all from his insecurities and that it will be fine once they're married.
I have got to assume that this was a very young lady...I would hope that no grown woman would be so naive although we all do stupid things in the name of love, no matter how old we grow. But to even entertain such a silly proposition as the one this guy puts forth is about as...I'm looking for a nice word here...stupid as Bush when he was on cocaine?
It's never a good idea to marry someone because of the promises that they make. It would be a tad wiser to see if they are even able to keep a promise before you marry them. There's no end to what a man, or a woman for that matter, would say to a person whom they are trying to reign in. Hell, almost all of them promise fidelity and as we know, that's usually a joke.
But as to violence, in any form, the answer is a resounding "NO!". They do not get less violent as time goes by and as the ties that bind get a bit tighter...they get more so. The apologies get better as well to be sure...but make no mistake...a man who can't walk away from a heated situation without throwing something, putting a fist through the wall or ripping the phone out of the wall will eventually get to you. You didn't describe the type or degree of violence involved, but even if a person is simply violent in affect (when the situation clearly doesn't call for such a jump in anger), you can be sure that he (or she) is a brute in training. None of them start off by knocking a person in the face...they slowly get to that point after years of being allowed to slowly increase the levels of their violence. That's a fact. I could expound more on that fact, but I don't want the message to get mixed up in a bunch of rhetoric...just trust me, I know what I'm talking about.
As to your other question, one way that you know you're in love is that you LIKE the person in front of you, faults and all, and still can think of nothing more fun than being with them. Then, happiness continues on through the years and you two get so damned happy with each other that you do nothing but hang out together eating so you get fat. It's not that fat people are inherently jolly, a lot of them are just so fricking happy with their partner that they have eaten themselves into a spare tire and don't mind one bit. That'll make a person jolly. Even when I was at my sickest and couldn't eat a bite...I still missed food. I like it. I could eat a lot of it. I am fully aware of the amazing comfort of a nice loaf of warm bread and butter...and eating it with impunity must be one jolly-making experience.
If I could tell a person how to recognize love without fail, I would publish it in a book. But I do know what love isn't...it isn't hurting the person that you say you love. When you're in love, you want that person to be free of all pain and even be willing to take it on yourself. So, obviously, if a person is causing you pain, I wouldn't bet the rent on their feelings...much less my life. But that's just me...I'm funny like that.
OK...I thought that Dear Abby screwed up again today. Some husband wrote to her about his wife who spends one or two nights a week baking "huge numbers of cookies". He was "worried" about his wife and the hours she was keeping. Abby suggested a sleep study. Abby is a nitwit.
Sleep studies are for people who try to sleep and can't. If this chick went to the doctor and said, "I was up all night baking cookies, then I went to work and came home and baked more cookies.", the doctor would tell her to go buy a box of Oreo's, get her ass in the bed and close her eyes. Personally, if I were going to go the health route, I would have suggested counseling for the extreme cookie baking behavior, but once again, that's just me.
Rather, though, I would have asked the husband what he does to the poor woman that she would rather be up all night baking cookies than just climbing in bed with her husband. I have had a few husbands and I have always enjoyed sleeping with them. What is this guy doing when she does crawl into bed? Is he waiting under the covers totally ready to play Indians, teepee and all? Maybe she's out there baking the stupid cookies because he's a perv and she doesn't want to have to deal with the freak every single night.
I think that the best answer would be to tell the husband to just go to bed and be happy that his old lady isn't out turning tricks in the red light district of his neighborhood. If the worst thing that you can say about your wife is that she bakes cookies in the middle of the night...count your blessings and quit your bitching.
See ya later,
Meg
....a lady who wanted to know "how you know if a man will always be violent" and "how do you know for sure that you're in love?". She asked me not to print the entire email so I won't but in it, she says that her boyfriend had gotten viloent a "couple" of times and that he promised that it was all from his insecurities and that it will be fine once they're married.
I have got to assume that this was a very young lady...I would hope that no grown woman would be so naive although we all do stupid things in the name of love, no matter how old we grow. But to even entertain such a silly proposition as the one this guy puts forth is about as...I'm looking for a nice word here...stupid as Bush when he was on cocaine?
It's never a good idea to marry someone because of the promises that they make. It would be a tad wiser to see if they are even able to keep a promise before you marry them. There's no end to what a man, or a woman for that matter, would say to a person whom they are trying to reign in. Hell, almost all of them promise fidelity and as we know, that's usually a joke.
But as to violence, in any form, the answer is a resounding "NO!". They do not get less violent as time goes by and as the ties that bind get a bit tighter...they get more so. The apologies get better as well to be sure...but make no mistake...a man who can't walk away from a heated situation without throwing something, putting a fist through the wall or ripping the phone out of the wall will eventually get to you. You didn't describe the type or degree of violence involved, but even if a person is simply violent in affect (when the situation clearly doesn't call for such a jump in anger), you can be sure that he (or she) is a brute in training. None of them start off by knocking a person in the face...they slowly get to that point after years of being allowed to slowly increase the levels of their violence. That's a fact. I could expound more on that fact, but I don't want the message to get mixed up in a bunch of rhetoric...just trust me, I know what I'm talking about.
As to your other question, one way that you know you're in love is that you LIKE the person in front of you, faults and all, and still can think of nothing more fun than being with them. Then, happiness continues on through the years and you two get so damned happy with each other that you do nothing but hang out together eating so you get fat. It's not that fat people are inherently jolly, a lot of them are just so fricking happy with their partner that they have eaten themselves into a spare tire and don't mind one bit. That'll make a person jolly. Even when I was at my sickest and couldn't eat a bite...I still missed food. I like it. I could eat a lot of it. I am fully aware of the amazing comfort of a nice loaf of warm bread and butter...and eating it with impunity must be one jolly-making experience.
If I could tell a person how to recognize love without fail, I would publish it in a book. But I do know what love isn't...it isn't hurting the person that you say you love. When you're in love, you want that person to be free of all pain and even be willing to take it on yourself. So, obviously, if a person is causing you pain, I wouldn't bet the rent on their feelings...much less my life. But that's just me...I'm funny like that.
OK...I thought that Dear Abby screwed up again today. Some husband wrote to her about his wife who spends one or two nights a week baking "huge numbers of cookies". He was "worried" about his wife and the hours she was keeping. Abby suggested a sleep study. Abby is a nitwit.
Sleep studies are for people who try to sleep and can't. If this chick went to the doctor and said, "I was up all night baking cookies, then I went to work and came home and baked more cookies.", the doctor would tell her to go buy a box of Oreo's, get her ass in the bed and close her eyes. Personally, if I were going to go the health route, I would have suggested counseling for the extreme cookie baking behavior, but once again, that's just me.
Rather, though, I would have asked the husband what he does to the poor woman that she would rather be up all night baking cookies than just climbing in bed with her husband. I have had a few husbands and I have always enjoyed sleeping with them. What is this guy doing when she does crawl into bed? Is he waiting under the covers totally ready to play Indians, teepee and all? Maybe she's out there baking the stupid cookies because he's a perv and she doesn't want to have to deal with the freak every single night.
I think that the best answer would be to tell the husband to just go to bed and be happy that his old lady isn't out turning tricks in the red light district of his neighborhood. If the worst thing that you can say about your wife is that she bakes cookies in the middle of the night...count your blessings and quit your bitching.
See ya later,
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 5:07 AM
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