Dear Meg,

"...I liked what you did with the ex. I wish I thought about doing that to my own cheater...he's here so maybe I can still have my chance..."

Yeah, I was proud of that. Some people might think that it was mean but hey, I'm no Lorena Bobbitt. And, what I did was less dangerous than what he was exposing us both to. AND I was pregnant. Whatever. That's not the only thing that I ever did. I got that particular hubby quite a few times. He was an easy mark.

One of my favorites was when we had moved back to Chicago and I had small kids and one on the way (with a different baby than the one during the Ben-Gay incidence). He would go out almost every single night for a long time and leave me alone with the kids. Now, when you leave a young wife home alone with the kids for long enough, she'll get deviously creative on you.

I had the time and the hankerin' to catch him good. Every night after dinner, he would leave and I never knew where he went. One night I came up with a plan.

There was a Greek Diner down at the corner near our apartment. When Mark started showing signs of getting all perty'd up, I said, "You know, it hurts too much to watch you go out night after night. I'm going to go down to the diner and have a cup of coffee and something to eat while you get ready to leave. I'll wait a while and then I'll come back up after you're gone. It'll hurt less that way."

He didn't care, he just wanted a quick escape so he gave me a few bucks and continued getting ready. What he didn't know was that I never planned to go to the diner.

I went down to the car, took the lightbulb out of the dome light, curled myself up in a ball on the back seat floor board with a spare key to the car in my pants pocket and waited for him to come drive away.

I took the lightbulb out to lessen the chance of him seeing me and I banked on him being in such a hurry that he wouldn't bother with that minor problem...and I was right, he didn't.

He drove for a little while, passing gas loudly as he drove down the street. I almost gagged back there. It was brutal. Anyway, after a while, the car came to a stop. Mark parked the car and walked up to a house that I had never seen before.

He got out of the car and ever the gentleman, Mark walked to the front door to meet some young woman's parents. As the four of them stood on the front porch making introductions and shaking hands, I climbed into the front seat, started the car, and drove away.

For a while, he ran after me shouting, "Hey! That's MY car! Bring back my car...", until he saw me driving. Then, he just stopped in the middle of the street and turned around and walked back to his stunned date and her befuddled parents. I truly enjoyed that little escapade. It was quite the caper, I must say.

There's not too much that a man can say to avoid trouble after a situation like that. He usually came up with some huge line of BS. But what I found interesting was the fact that after a couple of years of nightly arguments like that one, it stopped bothering me. And, I stopped arguing with him.

Then, when I stopped getting angry with him, the fool got mad at me for "not caring" that he was cheating. How's that for insane? I was damned if I did and damned if I didn't. Isn't that the way it always is?

Men...whatcha gonna do? I know that there are some good ones out there and I seem to have two of them right now. I'm not going to feel guilty as long as we keep it all "adult"...whatever that means. No lies and no one gets hurt. I like those rules. No asking stupid questions, just enjoy the time that we have together. I need that type of relationship right now and to tell you the truth, I want it as much as I need it. So, I'm gonna enjoy the fact that I have two guys who understand and can handle it. It's not that I have anything against 3, it's just that I haven't found the third guy yet.

One guy's not bad and at times...one would look damned good and be pretty tough to find. But after the long drought that I've been through lately, I'm gonna do some making up for lost time.

OK, not tonight. Tonight I'm here alone. And once again, I've stayed up a bit late so I'm going to go to bed now.

I'll see you in the morning!

Meg