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Hi. I'm trying to think of another description to put here. Any ideas? I'll try again at 420.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Today has begun...

...rather slowly. I have suffered another major malfunction of one of my domestic contrivances and I'm rather annoyed. My dryer, although it will dry stuff if you leave it running long enough, has decided not to get the least bit warm anymore. Now I don't know what to do. It's taking me one entire day to dry the laundry that I already had washed when I realized that it was broken.

The only thing that I've washed since the dryer broke down is the sheets off of my bed. I had to change them. Since I've been entertaining in the bedroom, I have to change the bedding a whole lot more often. I never used to sleep in the room but I've started doing that again even when there's not a man next to me. I like it in there and the guy fixed my television so that I can get all of the cable channels in there so I don't mind watching TV in my bed now. So, between the occasional romp in the hay and me just hanging out in the bedroom, I have to change the sheets more. It's a queen size bed so when I have to change the thing, I have at least two more loads of laundry to do and I have to dry all of that without heat.

I wish that I had a clothesline. That'd be cool. But there are a couple of problems with that...I have so many trees out back that I would get a bit of bird "residue" and it's so humid here that I would wonder how long it would take to dry everything. I live in a pretty wooded area and I don't see anyone else using a clothesline. I don't know if they have those problems or if they just like their dryers. It's possible that there are no more people who hang their clothes out to dry. That would be too bad because I love the way the sheets smell after they've air dried.

My back is hurting quite a bit so I just put some Icy Hot on it and the smell reminded me of Ben-Gay. That reminded me of one time that my other ex was cheating on me. He came home from wherever he'd been at about 4 AM and I was in bed waiting for him with a smile on my face.

When a man comes home after commiting some atrocious breach of the marital contract, he will do anything to avoid an argument. At least this one would have. So, when I initiated a bit of sex as soon as he crawled into bed, he didn't argue with me. He went for it like I knew that he would.

When a man stays out screwing some bimbo and comes strolling in the bedroom at 4 AM only to find a loving young wife waiting for him with a smile on her face, a smart man would see the red flags. But, this was one of my husbands and as I've alluded to in the past, I didn't marry anyone with a triple digit IQ. So, this nimrod never knew what I had in my hand and judging from his reaction, I don't think he figured it out for quite some time. But then again, he wasn't thinking about much, he was just trying to shower all of the Ben-Gay off of his "business".

When I first placed my hand with the nice warm mystery lotion onto Mr. Happy, there was a smile on his face that made it quite clear that he had no clue what was coming next or even that there WAS something coming next.

Well, there was. There was a VERY warm sensation on it's way and it struck slowly and got progressively worse. Sort of like the look on his face that went from a smile to a look of confusion to one of shock and pain to one of concern for the future.

The look on his face seemed to say, "What the hell is happening and when will it go away?"

Then, he quickly assessed his options and ran straight for the shower. I think the soap and water worked after about 10 full minutes. It was about then that it occurred to him that I might have had something to do with what had just happened.

That was so fun. I wish that it had happened after I had a Camcorder but it happened in 1979 so I couldn't have taped that but trust me, it was priceless. And, I was only 21...pretty good, 'ey?

Well, I have to go and untie my shirt. I tied it up almost around my neck so that the cream had a while to work before my shirt rubbed it off. My boobs are hanging out below my shirt and you never know when those Jehovah's Witnesses might come by. I'll be back later.

See ya!



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