A lady wrote to Dear Abby...
...and said that her boyfriend was getting phone calls in the middle of the night from women and a bunch of other odd things were happening. These things made her feel jealous and insecure. The woman wondered if she was being unreasonable.
I was brought back to the way I always felt when stupid shit happened around here and I would feel jealous and insecure. It made me wonder if I was being unreasonable too. Abby finally gave a decent answer:
What you call your insecurity and jealousy are your survival instincts trying to warn you that he is not on the level. You won't have to worry about sinking or swimming if you climb out of the water now. I've thrown you a lifeline. Please take it.
I wish that someone had told me such things! I was just left to sit and worry that I was being silly and being married to such a liar just totally reinforced my feelings of self doubt. Now I know that it was what Abby said, my own instincts telling me that something was very wrong. I know that some people are truly whacked and they will worry all the time and will look behind doors evevry chance they get, but for the most part, if you suspect your significant other of cheating, you're right. I always was.
Like the woman who wrote to Abby, I wondered why I was feeling so badly about my "wonderful" husband. If I had trusted myself, I would have saved myself years of hurt. I'll not let that happen again. I have no plans to get remarried for at least 4 years, that's how much time Rick has left to pay on his alimony and he's not getting out of it one day early. But when I do get remarried, it will be to someone who doesn't lie and there ARE men who don't lie.
I still feel slightly bad when I'm with another man because I was married for so long. I have been separated for close to two years and I STILL feel like I'm cheating and that I'll wake up some day and find out that I've been caught cheating on Rick. If I feel like this now, I couldn't imagine what I would have felt like if I had actually cheated on him. So, I know that there must be men who feel the same way when they cheat and I'm going to find one of those guys. A man with a conscience is so nice to have.
I've met a few decent men and I'm going to meet a few more before it's over. If I ever start feeling like the woman who wrote that letter, I will know what it means. Someone once said, "He who looks behind doors had stood behind many." and with my nutty ex, I found that to be true. He was constantly accusing me of doing something wrong when it was actually he who was cheating. But, if a normal person feels like they're being lied to, they are probably right. So, being the relatively normal person that I am, I know now that it isn't me and I'm not nuts, Rick was really cheating on me. He taight me one hell of a lesson and I learned it well.
I hope that this woman listens to Abby and gets the hell out of Dodge before she spends years on some bum who has no problems lieing and dating women who don't mind stealing another woman's man. I wouldn't have wanted a man who would screw another man's wife. Unfortunately, I was married to a man who didn't have a scruple in his entire head. But, that won't happen again.
OK, now I'm going back to reading Dear Abby.
See ya!
Meg
...and said that her boyfriend was getting phone calls in the middle of the night from women and a bunch of other odd things were happening. These things made her feel jealous and insecure. The woman wondered if she was being unreasonable.
I was brought back to the way I always felt when stupid shit happened around here and I would feel jealous and insecure. It made me wonder if I was being unreasonable too. Abby finally gave a decent answer:
What you call your insecurity and jealousy are your survival instincts trying to warn you that he is not on the level. You won't have to worry about sinking or swimming if you climb out of the water now. I've thrown you a lifeline. Please take it.
I wish that someone had told me such things! I was just left to sit and worry that I was being silly and being married to such a liar just totally reinforced my feelings of self doubt. Now I know that it was what Abby said, my own instincts telling me that something was very wrong. I know that some people are truly whacked and they will worry all the time and will look behind doors evevry chance they get, but for the most part, if you suspect your significant other of cheating, you're right. I always was.
Like the woman who wrote to Abby, I wondered why I was feeling so badly about my "wonderful" husband. If I had trusted myself, I would have saved myself years of hurt. I'll not let that happen again. I have no plans to get remarried for at least 4 years, that's how much time Rick has left to pay on his alimony and he's not getting out of it one day early. But when I do get remarried, it will be to someone who doesn't lie and there ARE men who don't lie.
I still feel slightly bad when I'm with another man because I was married for so long. I have been separated for close to two years and I STILL feel like I'm cheating and that I'll wake up some day and find out that I've been caught cheating on Rick. If I feel like this now, I couldn't imagine what I would have felt like if I had actually cheated on him. So, I know that there must be men who feel the same way when they cheat and I'm going to find one of those guys. A man with a conscience is so nice to have.
I've met a few decent men and I'm going to meet a few more before it's over. If I ever start feeling like the woman who wrote that letter, I will know what it means. Someone once said, "He who looks behind doors had stood behind many." and with my nutty ex, I found that to be true. He was constantly accusing me of doing something wrong when it was actually he who was cheating. But, if a normal person feels like they're being lied to, they are probably right. So, being the relatively normal person that I am, I know now that it isn't me and I'm not nuts, Rick was really cheating on me. He taight me one hell of a lesson and I learned it well.
I hope that this woman listens to Abby and gets the hell out of Dodge before she spends years on some bum who has no problems lieing and dating women who don't mind stealing another woman's man. I wouldn't have wanted a man who would screw another man's wife. Unfortunately, I was married to a man who didn't have a scruple in his entire head. But, that won't happen again.
OK, now I'm going back to reading Dear Abby.
See ya!
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 4:28 AM
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