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Hi. I'm trying to think of another description to put here. Any ideas? I'll try again at 420.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

I found this on a friend's blog...

...and I thought that it was really good:

Divorce Teaches You

1. that you are capable of much more than you ever thought you were.
2. That being strong is easy when you believe in yourself, and almost impossible when you don't
3. that good friends are an invaluable source of strength
4. that money isn't the source of all happiness
5. that anger is part of the healing process
6. that forgiveness is a difficult and long process
7. that people change
8. that the price of infidelity can far exceed its pleasure
9. that lies and love don't mix
10. that one person cannot keep a marriage together
11. that lust can destroy love
12. that the legal system is not always fair
13. that emotional infidelity can be more dangerous than physical infidelity
14. that waiting for someone else to change is pointless
15. how much you never knew about the person you trusted with your life
16. that if you want control of your life, you must take it instead of waiting for someone to give it to you

These things are all so very true. For example, I certainly learned #15...more than I ever could have predicted.

#5 is also so very true. Anger is part of the grieving process as well. Kubler-Ross listed the 5 stages of grief when she was writing about death. I've worked with many dying people and I've seen for myself that she is right when she says that the 5 Stages of Grief are:

1. Denial
2. Anger

3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

Kubler-Ross was exactly right when she described these stages and when she said that they had to accur in the order that she listed although they can overlap to some degree. She was talking about death but these feelings occur when a person is going through divorce as well. After all, it's the death of a marriage. It's the death of life as you know it.

I absolutely went through all 5 of these phases and I did them in order. I began the denial before Rick even left and it continued well after he left. I began the blog when I was deep into the second stage, anger. I think I spent more time in anger than I did the others.

Actually, I'll never really know how long I was in denial...because Rick will never tell me how long he was cheating. Our conversations now are so friendly, if you listened to us chat you'd think we were the best of buddies. We talk and laugh and act as if nothing bad ever happened between us. Of course, we never mention the blog...I doubt that he reads it anymore.

Anyway, if you're going through a divorce and are feeling some of these feelings, please know that acceptance will happen just as sure as the denial and anger are occurring. And then, your life will be fine again. I promise.



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