Meg,
"How did you learn to read people so well?"
I'm not sure. It's pretty much a talent that I was born with. I've always been pretty good at reading people. Unfortunately, when it comes to matters of my own heart, I get stupid and stop thinking.
When I'm working as a nurse, nothing bothers me, not blood, guts, nothing. (Well, I take that back, phlegm DOES make me gag) I can see a person mangled or in really bad shape and I maintain a calm affect and handle the situation properly. But, when it's one of my own kids, I freak.
It's the same way with my own heart. If a friend came up to me and told me that her husband was doing the things that my husband was doing, I would be able to tell her exactly what was going on. But, when Rick did the exact same things, I was clueless. So basically, I can figure out everybody else's problems and help them, but I can rarely help myself once I've gotten in far enough.
When I was a kid, I used to think that I had ESP because I could tell what a person was thinking and see what they were up to before anyone else could. With the passing of the years, I've gotten better at it. I would prefer to be able to play the piano, but this is what I got.
It comes in very handy in day to day life because most people can't manipulate me or bother me with the stupid things that they do...i.e. the nimrod who called me names in the comments, that didn't bother me any more than someone tossing a grain of sand at the back of my head.
There is one bad thing about having the ability to read people so well...when I see a person's ulterior motives before they've actually done anything wrong, I can't explain why I won't go along with them or agree with what they're doing.
Say a guy was behaving relatively decently but I could see that he was up to no good. I can't really call him on it because he hasn't done anything wrong.
A man will ask for "proof" that he's not totally innocent and I can't give it to him. How do I just say, "It's a gut feeling."? I do say it, but then he'll act all insulted because I can't give him a reason that I don't buy his innocence. I don't know if I'm explaining that well or not but trust me, I find myself defending my "gut feelings" pretty often.
Besides being born with the natural ability to read people, I've been around for a long, long time. I've been through just about every situation that I write about, usually more than once. So, I can usually speak with authority about such matters. This blog is about people and the relationships between them. I've been through enough of those to be able to understand what most people are going through. That's why I have a blog about relationships. One of the other things that I'm good at is cooking so I have a blog about that as well. (By the way, Karin, I've answered your question about the manicotti in the comment section of the cooking blog. I spelled a few words wrong but I think you'll get the point, LOL) If I was any good at fixing cars, I'd have a blog about them.
Anyway, I have to work on something in my own life and that is being able to take my own advice. I've always said that people should learn to be their own best friends. We can all give great advice to our friends, but when it comes to helping ourselves, we aren't so good at it. So I tell people to pretend that they have a friend who is in their situation. If it helps, write yourself a letter pretending to be someone else. In it, explain the situation as though you're youur own best friend and then tell yourself what your friend should do. If you do it right, you should be able to give yourself some great advice. The only trick is taking that advice. It's not easy at the time, but in the long run, it'll save you from a lot of heartbreak.
OK...I'm having a laundry day. I'm almost done with the clothes and now I have to strip every bed in the house and pick up all of the throw rugs. I hate laundry, it's my worst thing. I wish they would come up with disposable clothing so that I could throw them away but until they do, I have to wash them all myself. Damn it.
Meg
"How did you learn to read people so well?"
I'm not sure. It's pretty much a talent that I was born with. I've always been pretty good at reading people. Unfortunately, when it comes to matters of my own heart, I get stupid and stop thinking.
When I'm working as a nurse, nothing bothers me, not blood, guts, nothing. (Well, I take that back, phlegm DOES make me gag) I can see a person mangled or in really bad shape and I maintain a calm affect and handle the situation properly. But, when it's one of my own kids, I freak.
It's the same way with my own heart. If a friend came up to me and told me that her husband was doing the things that my husband was doing, I would be able to tell her exactly what was going on. But, when Rick did the exact same things, I was clueless. So basically, I can figure out everybody else's problems and help them, but I can rarely help myself once I've gotten in far enough.
When I was a kid, I used to think that I had ESP because I could tell what a person was thinking and see what they were up to before anyone else could. With the passing of the years, I've gotten better at it. I would prefer to be able to play the piano, but this is what I got.
It comes in very handy in day to day life because most people can't manipulate me or bother me with the stupid things that they do...i.e. the nimrod who called me names in the comments, that didn't bother me any more than someone tossing a grain of sand at the back of my head.
There is one bad thing about having the ability to read people so well...when I see a person's ulterior motives before they've actually done anything wrong, I can't explain why I won't go along with them or agree with what they're doing.
Say a guy was behaving relatively decently but I could see that he was up to no good. I can't really call him on it because he hasn't done anything wrong.
A man will ask for "proof" that he's not totally innocent and I can't give it to him. How do I just say, "It's a gut feeling."? I do say it, but then he'll act all insulted because I can't give him a reason that I don't buy his innocence. I don't know if I'm explaining that well or not but trust me, I find myself defending my "gut feelings" pretty often.
Besides being born with the natural ability to read people, I've been around for a long, long time. I've been through just about every situation that I write about, usually more than once. So, I can usually speak with authority about such matters. This blog is about people and the relationships between them. I've been through enough of those to be able to understand what most people are going through. That's why I have a blog about relationships. One of the other things that I'm good at is cooking so I have a blog about that as well. (By the way, Karin, I've answered your question about the manicotti in the comment section of the cooking blog. I spelled a few words wrong but I think you'll get the point, LOL) If I was any good at fixing cars, I'd have a blog about them.
Anyway, I have to work on something in my own life and that is being able to take my own advice. I've always said that people should learn to be their own best friends. We can all give great advice to our friends, but when it comes to helping ourselves, we aren't so good at it. So I tell people to pretend that they have a friend who is in their situation. If it helps, write yourself a letter pretending to be someone else. In it, explain the situation as though you're youur own best friend and then tell yourself what your friend should do. If you do it right, you should be able to give yourself some great advice. The only trick is taking that advice. It's not easy at the time, but in the long run, it'll save you from a lot of heartbreak.
OK...I'm having a laundry day. I'm almost done with the clothes and now I have to strip every bed in the house and pick up all of the throw rugs. I hate laundry, it's my worst thing. I wish they would come up with disposable clothing so that I could throw them away but until they do, I have to wash them all myself. Damn it.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 8:39 AM
1 Comments:
You know, I have the same problem you do. I give the best relationship advice, but never seem to follow it. I rnd up in one dead end relationship after another, and somehow manage to help hold all of my friend's together. I stress open communication and continue to close myself off. I praise honesty and make sure it's a requirement for them, but get lied to, to my face, and I allow it. Infidelity should never be tolerated, and I close my eyes to it. I think my self worth is just at such a low I maybe don't think I'm worth an honest loving relationship. I allow people to walk all over me and use me for whatever short term purpose they need, then I'm left alone, wondering how it happened.
~Mandi~
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