Dear Meg,

There is saying I like to think of. The best way to get over a man is to get under a new one!!!!!

Now that made me laugh first thing in the morning and that isn't easy to do. I most certainly do not think about Rick when I'm under another guy. If I had one around here, I'd crawl under him right now but alas...I do not.

There are men who make me think different things when I'm under them. Some make my eyes open wide in pleasant surprise and some make them open wide in horror. The last one to make me open my eyes in horror was one who dropped his entire weight on top of me throughout the whole thing. I kept saying, "Get off of me!" and when he plopped his big self on me for the last time, I pushed him off of me and jumped off of the bed. He said, "Please, I won't do it anymore!"

I said, "Sorry, no can do."

A guy without the sense to avoid crushing me certainly isn't going to be concerned with my personal enjoyment of the act so I saw no reason to continue with that annoying activity. I hadn't even realized that most men were holding their weight up off of me until I came across one who didn't.

I was discussing the fake orgasm phenomenon with a friend not too long ago and she asked me if I ever did that. I told her that "No, I wouldn't bother." Not only don't I fake orgasms, I don't let a guy get more than two ahead of me without reciprocity.

Some thing about men are so similar but others are so very different and love-making can be the same. You have your ordinary run of the mill guys who are adequate...I can deal with that. Then, you have your really talented men...I like that kind, of course. then, there's the selfish kind who don't think about anyone but themselves at all.

The only middle eastern man that I ever slept with was like that so I've never gone back for another one of those. That was years before 9/11 so it's not like I had a death wish, I just didn't realize that they hated us yet.

The year that I went without sex, I was thinking that I was putting effort into going without but now I'm not trying at all to stay celibate but it's turning out pretty much that way anyhow. I have a couple of guy who I can call when I'm in the mood but I was really hoping for a bit more variety at this point. I just can't seem to find many men who pass my picky tests.

The tests aren't tough, they just have to be bright, funny, decent, and I have to find them to be attractive. I can usually find one or two of those traits in a guy, but rarely all of them. Oh, I forgot, they have to be sober. I don't do drunks anymore. I tried that and it was awful. Who wants a slobbering drunk on top of them? And then, the fool takes so long that you know they aren't going anywhere with the current activity. I trioed to extracate myself from that situation and the guy just said, "Can't you do anything that might help?"

I wanted to vomit right then. I just got dressed and left. Yeah, I could...but I would puke on his crotch.

I enjoy sex much more now then I did when I was younger. It's true that women get more comfortable with themselves and assertive as they get older. I know I have. I wonder...do young women still act all coy when they're sleeping with guys nowadays? I hope not. There's too much fun to be had and I've never seen one run away because I told him what I wanted.

Well, enough sex talk for now, I have to go run some errands...I'll be back soon!

Meg