Howdy!
So...I just got home from working all night and I'm wide awake. I didn't plan any shifts past Christmas so I'm off until I call and schedule some more. I actually messed up the day of my surgery this month, I thought it was the 21rst and it was the 12th. I found that out on the 18th. So, I've resceduled it for January 2nd...now don't let me forget that.
My father is probably landing in Chicago about now and then he'll be driving to Lake Geneva, Wisconsin for a 4 day holiday. He and his "pleasantly confused" third wife from whom he is now divorced are going to stay at The Abbey...a wonderful place that I stayed at when I dated men other than Rick. After I met him, I stopped staying at Marriott's and places like The Abbey and began staying at Super 8's. I'm not complaining...merely making an observation.
Something has occurred to me. As well as I'm doing now, if I'd have been rid of Rick sooner...I'd be much further ahead than I am now and I never would have stopped having fun in my life. I walked with Rick through the living room of life that was watching TV for 20 years. I watched TV with his bald ass every night for all that time and was always so fricking pre-occupied with his dishonesty that I couldn't really concentrate on myself and doing what I needed to do to get ahead and have the things that I always wanted. All I wanted was Rick and for him to be honest with me. Anyway, he's outta here now.
I'll be damned if I'm gonna make that mistake again. It still irritates the hell out of me that he wouldn't be honest...ever, ever, ever. Ever. Do any of you understand how something like that could still bug the crap out of a person? I wasted so much of my life on a liar and that's pretty much exactly like having your life stolen from you. There were so many things that I wanted out of life and so many things that I've always wanted to do and the only thing that has EVER stopped me was Rick.
My first husband didn't stop me, he surprised me with a schedule one day when I wanted nothing more than to go back to school. I wanted to take a few courses one semester after I had my daughter and somehow he found the money, registered me...and presented me with the schedule one night while we were watching television. I was so happy that night. I never stopped going to school after that even though I had another kid the next year.
Oh well, I have no one to blame but myself for that because I stayed after the first time. That was stupid. I have NO idea how much he got past me. He was a serial cheater, only once every 6 years or so...that I knew of. And the lies were scattered throughout the entire time we were married. So, I pretty much walked into that one. You see how you can let that happen over the years...esepcially if you're always wondering what's real and what isn't? You don't want to believe it and at some point it's easier to believe that YOU are the problem...after all, they tell you that you are! Part of believing a liar is believing that there's something wrong with YOU. That just naturally follows...doesn't it? So...that's just one hop skip and a jump from feeling rotten about yourself...isn't it? Try that for 20 years and see if you don't look around and say..."What the hell happened?" That's a real brow furrow-er...isn't it?
Wow...brow furrow-er is difficult to say out loud...try it. Brow furrow-er. Brow furrow-er. Brow furrow-er. Man, now I have to go away. That short circuited my brain.
Meg
~~~By the way...I saw a cute nurse dude last night. Not many men can pull off being a nurse so well. :)
So...I just got home from working all night and I'm wide awake. I didn't plan any shifts past Christmas so I'm off until I call and schedule some more. I actually messed up the day of my surgery this month, I thought it was the 21rst and it was the 12th. I found that out on the 18th. So, I've resceduled it for January 2nd...now don't let me forget that.
My father is probably landing in Chicago about now and then he'll be driving to Lake Geneva, Wisconsin for a 4 day holiday. He and his "pleasantly confused" third wife from whom he is now divorced are going to stay at The Abbey...a wonderful place that I stayed at when I dated men other than Rick. After I met him, I stopped staying at Marriott's and places like The Abbey and began staying at Super 8's. I'm not complaining...merely making an observation.
Something has occurred to me. As well as I'm doing now, if I'd have been rid of Rick sooner...I'd be much further ahead than I am now and I never would have stopped having fun in my life. I walked with Rick through the living room of life that was watching TV for 20 years. I watched TV with his bald ass every night for all that time and was always so fricking pre-occupied with his dishonesty that I couldn't really concentrate on myself and doing what I needed to do to get ahead and have the things that I always wanted. All I wanted was Rick and for him to be honest with me. Anyway, he's outta here now.
I'll be damned if I'm gonna make that mistake again. It still irritates the hell out of me that he wouldn't be honest...ever, ever, ever. Ever. Do any of you understand how something like that could still bug the crap out of a person? I wasted so much of my life on a liar and that's pretty much exactly like having your life stolen from you. There were so many things that I wanted out of life and so many things that I've always wanted to do and the only thing that has EVER stopped me was Rick.
My first husband didn't stop me, he surprised me with a schedule one day when I wanted nothing more than to go back to school. I wanted to take a few courses one semester after I had my daughter and somehow he found the money, registered me...and presented me with the schedule one night while we were watching television. I was so happy that night. I never stopped going to school after that even though I had another kid the next year.
Oh well, I have no one to blame but myself for that because I stayed after the first time. That was stupid. I have NO idea how much he got past me. He was a serial cheater, only once every 6 years or so...that I knew of. And the lies were scattered throughout the entire time we were married. So, I pretty much walked into that one. You see how you can let that happen over the years...esepcially if you're always wondering what's real and what isn't? You don't want to believe it and at some point it's easier to believe that YOU are the problem...after all, they tell you that you are! Part of believing a liar is believing that there's something wrong with YOU. That just naturally follows...doesn't it? So...that's just one hop skip and a jump from feeling rotten about yourself...isn't it? Try that for 20 years and see if you don't look around and say..."What the hell happened?" That's a real brow furrow-er...isn't it?
Wow...brow furrow-er is difficult to say out loud...try it. Brow furrow-er. Brow furrow-er. Brow furrow-er. Man, now I have to go away. That short circuited my brain.
Meg
~~~By the way...I saw a cute nurse dude last night. Not many men can pull off being a nurse so well. :)
posted by Meg Kelso | 5:16 AM
3 Comments:
Meg -
Here's a topic for you and your readers - I've been with said boyfriend two years now, and have had enough. He live with me. What's a good way to break it off?
Meg, Meg, Meg!
I totally disagree with you that not many men can pull off being a nurse so well! I have seen some HOT male nurses here in California! And they couldn't have ALL been gay!!!
JD,
You misunderstood me...I meant as well as THAT guy...the one that I met. Trust me, until you see him, you couldn't know what I mean. Sure, there are a bunch of hot male nurses, but not many can pull that off as well as the one that I was talking about. Now, if only I could find an excuse to take his picture...
:):):)
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