Meg,
"...I hope death isn't so scary if you lived your life with those qualities being decency and honour. I think we are all souls encased in matter, when this journey ends I like to believe there is a better one ahead..."
Yeah, I think there is another leg of the journey myself. I don't know what form it takes or how much of our soul we take with us as we travel...but I'm quite sure that there's more to it all than this walk around Planet Earth. I also think that honor and decency are signs that we are on a higher plane then we were before.
Yes, life is a journey and I don't have a clue where the end of mine will lead me...but I hope to go there with courage and a sense of fierce independence, strong moral fiber and an intense desire for adventure. My kids are grown and I have so much time in front of me, God willing, to do the things that I've always wanted to do...the way that I want to do them.
I try to be fair in all dealings with other fellow travelers and sometimes it's a joy. Other times, I look at my fellow travelers and I want to pluck their nose hairs...just to be a bitch.
One of the things that I have always wanted to do is to go to Europe alone. (I wouldn't mind taking my daughter, but other than her, this dream of mine has always been me, alone...walking down the streets of Paris, Rome, Prague...wherever my heart takes me, not saying a word to another soul...just minding my own business, thinking my own thoughts, and enjoying my own company.) Well, that dream of mine has offended a man whom I have been seeing lately. I mentioned to him that I was pricing trips to Europe and he became quite irrate. Apparently, I was supposed to either stay home or take him with...anything but me doing what I've always wanted to do. And then I was made to feel guilty that I wanted to do this wonderful thing that I've been dreaming of for so long.
After a while, I became a little angry...how dare he do this to my feelings? He doesn't have to appreciate my dream, he doesn't even have to approve of it. But I would love it if he cared enough about me to allow me to go and do what I want to do without making me feel afraid to anger him or making me feel guilty. Why would someone throw a guilt trip at another person just because they want to do something alone? We aren't Conjoined Twins. If I had to be a Conjoined Twin, I would have chosen a woman, preferably a deaf-mute, like Hellen Keller.
Even if this guy and I were married, I would expect the same respect. I CERTAINLY have no desire to stop him from doing the things that he wants to do. I even told him that when he mentioned going back into the service, knowing full well that he could end up overseas, that I understood his desire. I care enough for him and his dreams to understand that if he doesn't sign up soon, he'll loose his last chance to go into the service again. I care more about his feelings of living his dream than I would feel about my selfish feelings of wanting to go with him. Sure, I'd WANT to be there (or even have him NOT GO!) but that would be the ultimate act of selfishness.
I find it to be an extremely frightening notion that there are people who cannot be apart from each other for any length of time at all. Some would have their "loved" one so close that they are only seperated when somebody has to go to work or to the john. It's just not normal to NEVER BE APART! Many, many people live years and years in a happy relationship, going on vacation after vacation together. But every once in a while they go on there own little excursions and that's OK! The thought of having the same person in the room with you everywhere you go, everytime you go there and never, ever having them out of your site...until the DAY YOU DIE is a frightening thought indeed.
I can share my time, my life, my soul with another person and be happily in love, giddily awaiting the next time that I see him and somehow STILL go on my own little trips and live out my own little dreams...and be happy for the rest of my life. It would make me a more rounded, more interesting person for my man if I did. How boring to be a clone of your spouse, joined at the hip.
What do you guys think about seperate vacations...or just one of you feeling the need to experience something that you've wanted to do for decades? What about the person who doesn't allow that? I'd love to hear your comments.
Thanks!
Now, I'm off to bed again!
Ciao,
Meg
"...I hope death isn't so scary if you lived your life with those qualities being decency and honour. I think we are all souls encased in matter, when this journey ends I like to believe there is a better one ahead..."
Yeah, I think there is another leg of the journey myself. I don't know what form it takes or how much of our soul we take with us as we travel...but I'm quite sure that there's more to it all than this walk around Planet Earth. I also think that honor and decency are signs that we are on a higher plane then we were before.
Yes, life is a journey and I don't have a clue where the end of mine will lead me...but I hope to go there with courage and a sense of fierce independence, strong moral fiber and an intense desire for adventure. My kids are grown and I have so much time in front of me, God willing, to do the things that I've always wanted to do...the way that I want to do them.
I try to be fair in all dealings with other fellow travelers and sometimes it's a joy. Other times, I look at my fellow travelers and I want to pluck their nose hairs...just to be a bitch.
One of the things that I have always wanted to do is to go to Europe alone. (I wouldn't mind taking my daughter, but other than her, this dream of mine has always been me, alone...walking down the streets of Paris, Rome, Prague...wherever my heart takes me, not saying a word to another soul...just minding my own business, thinking my own thoughts, and enjoying my own company.) Well, that dream of mine has offended a man whom I have been seeing lately. I mentioned to him that I was pricing trips to Europe and he became quite irrate. Apparently, I was supposed to either stay home or take him with...anything but me doing what I've always wanted to do. And then I was made to feel guilty that I wanted to do this wonderful thing that I've been dreaming of for so long.
After a while, I became a little angry...how dare he do this to my feelings? He doesn't have to appreciate my dream, he doesn't even have to approve of it. But I would love it if he cared enough about me to allow me to go and do what I want to do without making me feel afraid to anger him or making me feel guilty. Why would someone throw a guilt trip at another person just because they want to do something alone? We aren't Conjoined Twins. If I had to be a Conjoined Twin, I would have chosen a woman, preferably a deaf-mute, like Hellen Keller.
Even if this guy and I were married, I would expect the same respect. I CERTAINLY have no desire to stop him from doing the things that he wants to do. I even told him that when he mentioned going back into the service, knowing full well that he could end up overseas, that I understood his desire. I care enough for him and his dreams to understand that if he doesn't sign up soon, he'll loose his last chance to go into the service again. I care more about his feelings of living his dream than I would feel about my selfish feelings of wanting to go with him. Sure, I'd WANT to be there (or even have him NOT GO!) but that would be the ultimate act of selfishness.
I find it to be an extremely frightening notion that there are people who cannot be apart from each other for any length of time at all. Some would have their "loved" one so close that they are only seperated when somebody has to go to work or to the john. It's just not normal to NEVER BE APART! Many, many people live years and years in a happy relationship, going on vacation after vacation together. But every once in a while they go on there own little excursions and that's OK! The thought of having the same person in the room with you everywhere you go, everytime you go there and never, ever having them out of your site...until the DAY YOU DIE is a frightening thought indeed.
I can share my time, my life, my soul with another person and be happily in love, giddily awaiting the next time that I see him and somehow STILL go on my own little trips and live out my own little dreams...and be happy for the rest of my life. It would make me a more rounded, more interesting person for my man if I did. How boring to be a clone of your spouse, joined at the hip.
What do you guys think about seperate vacations...or just one of you feeling the need to experience something that you've wanted to do for decades? What about the person who doesn't allow that? I'd love to hear your comments.
Thanks!
Now, I'm off to bed again!
Ciao,
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 7:10 AM
5 Comments:
Meg, I would not be in a relationship with a guy who thought he had the right to control my every action! Life is short, make your dreams a reality and do it YOUR way!
My parents have been married for almost 40 years. They do spend A LOT of time together, but every so often one of them will take an excursion separately. Gives them something new to talk about, I suppose.
When I was a teenager I thought it was weird.
I am 38 and divorced with 2 kids, now. I understand completely.
I was seriously contemplating going to Paris on my own last month too. Actually, I just went this past September with my bf. It was everything I imagined it to be, AND MORE. I highly recommend going (if you haven't already, that is). The city undoubtedly left me in awe, and I'd LOVE LOVE LOVE to go back again. You can check out some of the pics we took in my blog :)
As I mentioned before, my bf went on a "business trip" last week. Needless to say, I missed him terribly. I don't know if I'd be ok if he (constantly?) wanted to take vacations without me though. You're right, it's not normal (or healthy) to NEVER BE APART. But I think the underlying issue is that both parties should be on the same page. That is, it would be ideal if they were both ok with their alloted time apart. The time apart should not be to get away from the other person, but to be on your own and do whatever you need to do (with friends, family, or whatever). Ultimately, I think both people should genuinely WANT to BE together. And it goes without saying that they should miss each other when they're apart...I would hope.
Yep, The parents absolutely knew what they were doing! And of course I meant that the vacation is something that would be entirely for me...not a break per se...just something I've always wanted to do! I certainly think that it WOULD give them something to talk about...and make for healthy human beings that totally love and trust each other.
I have been to Europe...and I would hate to think that I'd never go back...Paris was WONDERFUL! As I stood in Notre Dame...I looked up and thought, "I would hate to think that I would never see this again!" That was where the dream of going alone came from. It has nothing to do with getting away from anyone...the plan was there when there was no one else to consider!
Now...I just want to live my life as a FREE AMERICAN who is well over 21!
Meg
I went to the good ole US of A in June 2001 solo for 8 adventurous weeks !.A male friend and I were planning on going together but he found a g/f who wasn't comfortable him going with a chick Pfft..
Anyway I thought fook it I am still going, so I booked a 21 days tour starting in Anahem and did all the Northern States including Canada then ended up in Manhatten. I have to admit It would have been nice sharing it with someone however I can't even begin to tell you how insanely cool it is plane hopping solo in a different country.. You build soo much confidence and KNOW you CAN DO IT lol.. Who ever hhas travelled OS solo will fully know what I am talking about :-)
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