Meg...
"...Snakes, that's what they are, slimey snakes who shed skin but its the same pattern underneath..."
Now, apologoze to the snakes...they don't lie and cheat on their own kind! Seriously, though...the point is well taken. Leopards don't change their spots and liars don't all of a sudden become honest people out of nowhere. That's how I know that Rick will be miserbale...he refuses to tell the truth when a lie can get him out of any jam he might find himself in.
I think people can GROW UP...my other ex and I were married very young and he cheated a LOT but I think he did finally grow up and learn his lesson but by then it was too late for me, I couldn't trust him and I lost any feelings that I had for him. I wish I could have gotten them back, I never would have met Rick if I had.
"...I say move out, and burn the damn furniture. I can't stand visiting the same everyday places that I'd been with an ex (yes, even the neighborhood Blockbuster), much less LIVE in a "home" that we had supposedly built together. I'm a sentimental person by nature. I have way too many memories and feelings attached to everything. When John and I were going through one of our rough spots, I seriously contemplated moving out of town. I was planning to move to Paris. I just wanted to get away. Anywhere that wouldn't remind me of him. Out of site, out of mind. I think that's the best way to get over someone.
And Lord knows that is my M.O., I leave the state when things get rough. I've done it so many times that I've lived in 6 states so far. But, my son has his daughter here and I begged him to move in with me when I was so alone that I can't just kick him out on his bum now.
I would love to blow this pop stand, but I have too many responsibilities. The house and the neighborhood has almost lost it's Rick charm....he's been gone for so long. I do think that I'd like to have a new place to start over but right now I feel like someone is holding me back by a foot. Oddly enough, I had considered going to Paris myself. I would be there if it weren't for my kid. I'd just empty my bank account, cash the alimony and go to the airport to await the first flight out of the country. I want to do all the things that I couldn't do because I had kids so young.
It just seems that, as women, we are always responsible for someone else. When I lived at home I was the baby sitter as the oldest of 6 kids. Then, I got married and immediately became pregnant. Then, when the kids started leaving home, I had Rick and then the kids started needing this or that so I've been working, living and basically breathing for other people my entire life. And then, I run into the most selfish entities that God ever created. I don't get it. I wuld love to have someone say to me..."Go do what you need to do, make yourself happy for a while!" But all I ever get it, "Why do you need to travel alone? Do you want to FUCK someone else!?" Now, do you honestly think that a guy like that will end up at the alter with me? I don't know what makes some men think that they can get away with such intense control mechanisms. It makes me want to SCREAM!!!
To each his own, darlings. I have to say, getting rid of everything acquired together was the ultimate "fu" to the ex. It was my way of saying that you may have come close to ruining my life, but I will rise from the ashes and become better than you could ever dream to be.
Of course this is the perfect answer. And there was a time when I would have done just that. But I chose each stick of furniture myself, with Rick's approval...and I like it. I certainly like my art work. I guess that's what would make it the ultimate FU...'ey?
But...whatever I do with my "stuff", I absolutely will rise from the ashes and become better than I ever thought that I could be!
My goal for the rest of my life is to make Rick one sorry sonofabitch. I know he's not sorry enough now or he would have apologized at some point. But trust me, I am going to do something good...I just haven't quite figured out what it is yet.
Lately I've had some sort of energy/motivation that I haven't had in such a long time that I don't remember when it was. I don't know where it came from but I have to say, I like it.
I've been able to get so much more done in the area of housecleaning and other boring things that I have to take care of. I don't know where this burst of whatever it is came from, but I'm glad it's here and I hope it doesn't go away. Has anyone else experienced something like that? You have absolutely NO motivation nor the energy to accomplish ANYTHING. Then, one day you do, I don't know why and I'm wondering what this could mean...if anything.
Well, tonight I'm going out with nurse boy...to a place called Chops. I know I'll have a good time, they have great food and my date and I can talk for hours without getting bored. Now, what to wear, what to wear?
Meg
"...Snakes, that's what they are, slimey snakes who shed skin but its the same pattern underneath..."
Now, apologoze to the snakes...they don't lie and cheat on their own kind! Seriously, though...the point is well taken. Leopards don't change their spots and liars don't all of a sudden become honest people out of nowhere. That's how I know that Rick will be miserbale...he refuses to tell the truth when a lie can get him out of any jam he might find himself in.
I think people can GROW UP...my other ex and I were married very young and he cheated a LOT but I think he did finally grow up and learn his lesson but by then it was too late for me, I couldn't trust him and I lost any feelings that I had for him. I wish I could have gotten them back, I never would have met Rick if I had.
"...I say move out, and burn the damn furniture. I can't stand visiting the same everyday places that I'd been with an ex (yes, even the neighborhood Blockbuster), much less LIVE in a "home" that we had supposedly built together. I'm a sentimental person by nature. I have way too many memories and feelings attached to everything. When John and I were going through one of our rough spots, I seriously contemplated moving out of town. I was planning to move to Paris. I just wanted to get away. Anywhere that wouldn't remind me of him. Out of site, out of mind. I think that's the best way to get over someone.
And Lord knows that is my M.O., I leave the state when things get rough. I've done it so many times that I've lived in 6 states so far. But, my son has his daughter here and I begged him to move in with me when I was so alone that I can't just kick him out on his bum now.
I would love to blow this pop stand, but I have too many responsibilities. The house and the neighborhood has almost lost it's Rick charm....he's been gone for so long. I do think that I'd like to have a new place to start over but right now I feel like someone is holding me back by a foot. Oddly enough, I had considered going to Paris myself. I would be there if it weren't for my kid. I'd just empty my bank account, cash the alimony and go to the airport to await the first flight out of the country. I want to do all the things that I couldn't do because I had kids so young.
It just seems that, as women, we are always responsible for someone else. When I lived at home I was the baby sitter as the oldest of 6 kids. Then, I got married and immediately became pregnant. Then, when the kids started leaving home, I had Rick and then the kids started needing this or that so I've been working, living and basically breathing for other people my entire life. And then, I run into the most selfish entities that God ever created. I don't get it. I wuld love to have someone say to me..."Go do what you need to do, make yourself happy for a while!" But all I ever get it, "Why do you need to travel alone? Do you want to FUCK someone else!?" Now, do you honestly think that a guy like that will end up at the alter with me? I don't know what makes some men think that they can get away with such intense control mechanisms. It makes me want to SCREAM!!!
To each his own, darlings. I have to say, getting rid of everything acquired together was the ultimate "fu" to the ex. It was my way of saying that you may have come close to ruining my life, but I will rise from the ashes and become better than you could ever dream to be.
Of course this is the perfect answer. And there was a time when I would have done just that. But I chose each stick of furniture myself, with Rick's approval...and I like it. I certainly like my art work. I guess that's what would make it the ultimate FU...'ey?
But...whatever I do with my "stuff", I absolutely will rise from the ashes and become better than I ever thought that I could be!
My goal for the rest of my life is to make Rick one sorry sonofabitch. I know he's not sorry enough now or he would have apologized at some point. But trust me, I am going to do something good...I just haven't quite figured out what it is yet.
Lately I've had some sort of energy/motivation that I haven't had in such a long time that I don't remember when it was. I don't know where it came from but I have to say, I like it.
I've been able to get so much more done in the area of housecleaning and other boring things that I have to take care of. I don't know where this burst of whatever it is came from, but I'm glad it's here and I hope it doesn't go away. Has anyone else experienced something like that? You have absolutely NO motivation nor the energy to accomplish ANYTHING. Then, one day you do, I don't know why and I'm wondering what this could mean...if anything.
Well, tonight I'm going out with nurse boy...to a place called Chops. I know I'll have a good time, they have great food and my date and I can talk for hours without getting bored. Now, what to wear, what to wear?
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 9:01 AM
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