Meg,

"...mental sanity is not easy, so I wish you luck and hope you find a man that will make you forget about that bastard - who didn't have the balls to be up front with you..."

Yep, that’s what it boils down to, balls and honesty. You know, the worst thing he did is to go out of his way to tell me that he wanted me to be faithful to him while he was cheating. I asked him if I was free to see other men and he freaked. “How could you even ask that?”, he would shout back at me. Oh well.And about finding a new guy, you know, whoever he is, he’s cheating on me already. Yep. Chances are that the next guy who I have a serious relationship with is with another woman as I write this. Some woman is with my next man and there isn’t a thing that I can do about it.I am really annoyed when I think of some of the decent guys that I could have been with. Decent, cute, fun, whatever...I passed on a lot of opportunities because of that nimrod. As much as that annoys me, there is one other thing that I truly hate him for.

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to extricate yourself from a perfectly good romantic situation for no really good reason? Most of the time it’s not too tough, for one reason or another the, “I’m still married.” crap is the reason I give. Actually, women have to have a really good reason. Some men will argue with you when you say “no”, (not in an arrest warrant sort of way, but more in a, “Come on, I’ll split the profits with you.” type manner.) so you have to have a pretty good back up so I have the still married thing.

But, every so often, it doesn’t seem like a very good reason and the longer I go, the harder that gets. And what makes it worse is that you don’t see those things coming so you haven’t prepared any natural barriers like being on neutral territory and having two vehicles to worry about.

Luckily, the state of my bedroom is, at this time, a natural barrier. I never sleep in there but every month or so, I wash the sheets for general purposes. Then I throw all my clothes back on the bed and the only time I sit on the thing is when I put on my socks. To even consider using my room for anything other than dressing would take a two day notice and that, I did not have. Even if I was willing to use the kitchen counter, I have a problem doing something that risque the first time I make love to a man.

First times are pretty much a bed type of affair, don’t you think? If you’re having sex for the first time in a parking lot, chances are there’s not a really solid future in that relationship. You can tell a lot about a relationship by the circumstances of the first time. If your first time was a totally “must lie” situation, you won’t be surrounded by honesty thereafter. If you’ve not lied to anyone and totally planned the occasion, you can expect to have a much, much, nicer relationship.

Meg