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Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Ever since I’ve been speaking…

…to that wonderful friend of mine from my much younger days, I’ve been remembering a lot of things. Mostly because we’ve traded so many memories…but also because it just has my head back in the 70’s. I think one of my favorite memories isn’t really something that (let’s see…we have to name this guy for ease of reference…let’s just call him Melvin) Melvin mentioned…it’s more of a result of remembering what I was like back then.

Melvin did tell me how much fun I was, and he was right…I WAS fun! I’ve tried to keep up the fun in my life…but so much bad stuff keeps happening, especially with my health…that I just sort of slowed down more and more.

There were so many things that I did back then that I remember doing, and I did them for the pure fun of it all. I enjoyed every single say and I was always happy. I was extremely energetic and up for just about anything that came along.

I’m not sure what happened to change all of that. I’m pretty sure it has something to do with being broken down by the people that I cared about the most. That’ll do a number on the way you feel about yourself…won’t it? It can make you feel like a failure, like you’ve been used until you’re all used up and as though you’ve been duped. That kind of stuff just doesn’t lend itself to having much fun.

But if you’re lucky, someone like Melvin will come along and allow you to peek back into the past…long before the damage was done. I’ve been doing that and I like the chick that I’m remembering. Melvin and I enjoyed each other thoroughly and that was because both of us were just easy going, nice people who enjoyed having fun. I didn’t worry about every little thing that came along…I just rolled with the punches and kept on truckin’. I think Melvin was sent here right now for a reason…I NEEDED to remember who I was.

Of course, it took years for that person to be executed and replaced with a cheater’s Stepford wife…the pathetic woman who is constantly worried, always wondering and trying to fix herself. But…the upside is that it doesn’t take that long to fix yourself. You just remember the person that you were and visualize the life that you led, the things that you did and the smile that your wore. Then, you just put effort into having fun. Sooner or later fun will become a habit, then a life-style and then it’ll just be YOU!

It’s the smiling that means so much to me. It’s very rare that I smile enough to make my cheeks hurt…but hurt they do!

Smiling from ear to ear,

Meg

1 Comments:

Blogger akakarma said...

Glad to hear it Miss Meg- you deserve every bit!

September 18, 2007  

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