OK then...
...the wedding is over, I'm back at Daddy's house and no one else in the house is awake. I like the solitude but the fear of breaking it keeps me constantly trying to maintain it. Ain't that a bitch? It's sort of like being alone, but if I drop something, kick something or sneeze loudly I'll wake someone up. And they don't wake up in ones...they wake up together. So the peaceful evening is very pleasant...as long as I don't enjoy it too much.
My sister did a great job with the wedding. She's younger than I am and she's a grandma...and I'm finally a great-aunt. It's nice to be called great, I don't care how it's meant. People can now refer to me with the word great and I like it. Of course it's one of those pesky little signs of aging...isn't it? But you can't be great one way or the other unless you have attained some number of years on this planet. You never hear about great toddlers. None of them really do too many great things.
Some parents may say, "Ah! But my Jimmy can name all of the presidents in order and he's only 7 months old!" OK...that might be pretty neat...but it isn't great. It doesn't even imply greatness. But don't worry, if he doesn't do anything great, he can always be a great-uncle when his siblings have grandchildren.
I keep hearing people say that 40 is the new 30. There's even a commercial that has something to do with "The Big 4-0!" I wonder how that relates to the big 5-0? What is that now? The new 40? And what does that make me when I turn 50...the OLD 40? I hope the old 40 is as much fun as it looks in the commercial. I think that's right...if they're the new 30, they must be the old 40...right? I don't know for sure but those are some downright exuberant middle aged folk. They're almost as vivacious as the 80 year old's in the retirement community commercials down here in Florida. Those are some spry old fuckers. I get exhausted just watching them swim, golf and square dance.
Oh well, I guess everybody needs to feel ebullient and sportive. But if you CAN'T perform up to snuff...there's always Cialis! The couple in that commercial frighten me. Cialis promises an erection on demand so if you get interrupted you can say, "Back Thor...give me time to handle this emergency like the MAN that I AM and then I shall return to you. I expect you to be at attention...stout and potent enough to reach our destination without fail so our woman does not go elsewhere for some satis....facshuuuun."
In the commercial the couple is interrupted when the kitchen sink starts squirting water all over the place. I want to know what the hell those people were doing in the kitchen in the first place...and was the little squirtie hose thing involved? Whatever. Do you suppose there will come a day when people will say, "Do you remember when they couldn't even show blow-jobs on Cialis commercials?!" I do.
Alrighty then...I must go watch Andy Griffith while I have the remote, the couch and the room to myself. See ya in the morning!
:):):)
...the wedding is over, I'm back at Daddy's house and no one else in the house is awake. I like the solitude but the fear of breaking it keeps me constantly trying to maintain it. Ain't that a bitch? It's sort of like being alone, but if I drop something, kick something or sneeze loudly I'll wake someone up. And they don't wake up in ones...they wake up together. So the peaceful evening is very pleasant...as long as I don't enjoy it too much.
My sister did a great job with the wedding. She's younger than I am and she's a grandma...and I'm finally a great-aunt. It's nice to be called great, I don't care how it's meant. People can now refer to me with the word great and I like it. Of course it's one of those pesky little signs of aging...isn't it? But you can't be great one way or the other unless you have attained some number of years on this planet. You never hear about great toddlers. None of them really do too many great things.
Some parents may say, "Ah! But my Jimmy can name all of the presidents in order and he's only 7 months old!" OK...that might be pretty neat...but it isn't great. It doesn't even imply greatness. But don't worry, if he doesn't do anything great, he can always be a great-uncle when his siblings have grandchildren.
I keep hearing people say that 40 is the new 30. There's even a commercial that has something to do with "The Big 4-0!" I wonder how that relates to the big 5-0? What is that now? The new 40? And what does that make me when I turn 50...the OLD 40? I hope the old 40 is as much fun as it looks in the commercial. I think that's right...if they're the new 30, they must be the old 40...right? I don't know for sure but those are some downright exuberant middle aged folk. They're almost as vivacious as the 80 year old's in the retirement community commercials down here in Florida. Those are some spry old fuckers. I get exhausted just watching them swim, golf and square dance.
Oh well, I guess everybody needs to feel ebullient and sportive. But if you CAN'T perform up to snuff...there's always Cialis! The couple in that commercial frighten me. Cialis promises an erection on demand so if you get interrupted you can say, "Back Thor...give me time to handle this emergency like the MAN that I AM and then I shall return to you. I expect you to be at attention...stout and potent enough to reach our destination without fail so our woman does not go elsewhere for some satis....facshuuuun."
In the commercial the couple is interrupted when the kitchen sink starts squirting water all over the place. I want to know what the hell those people were doing in the kitchen in the first place...and was the little squirtie hose thing involved? Whatever. Do you suppose there will come a day when people will say, "Do you remember when they couldn't even show blow-jobs on Cialis commercials?!" I do.
Alrighty then...I must go watch Andy Griffith while I have the remote, the couch and the room to myself. See ya in the morning!
:):):)
posted by Meg Kelso | 8:09 PM
7 Comments:
Age has nothing to do with it lol
I was an aunt at 10, a Great Aunt at 30 and very possible to be a Great Great Aunt at 50 :-)
What is the deal with the bath tub?
and if I had an erection lasting longer than 4 hours ( 4 Hours!!) I'd be seeking a new woman, not a doctor ....least not right away...
An aunt at 10? Wow...that must have been cool. I'm the oldest so I'm the one who made people aunts and uncles. By the time I was an aunt my kids were in school.
I shall bow to the great GREAT aunt to be!
D...if you get one of those 4 hour erections...call me.
:)
Oh, by the way...did you take square dancing in gym when we were in high school? I don't remember anyone else talking about it outside of the stupid class. Maybe everyone just kept the do si do to themselves out of shame.
Yes I took square dancing ......but here id the thing, before I moved out to wooddale, while living in Chicago I lived around the corner from a "Fred Astaire" school of dance and had to take dance lessons, mom said I'd need them some day.....
still waiting!!
LOLOLOL...I hear ya. My father told me the same thing when he taught me to jitterbug. I've never dated a man who knew how to do that and it's not a dance you can do alone.
But...if you ever do get down South...or if I go up North...I'll waltz with you...ONCE...for your mother.
And then we can go to Nashville North and square dance.
:)
Sorry ........Nashville North closed back in 2000, we will have to go the the Cadillac Ranch in Bartlett.....and most likley a line dance....Boot Scoot Boogie, Watermelon Crawl....
But I'll find us someplace.
Line dance? I don't do that...I generally have a date.
:)
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