I just spoke to my father...
...and he surprised me. He told me what happened when he spoke to Jean's daughter...he was as shocked as was I. The chick actually took it quite hard. Oddly enough, she just asked for some details surrounding the death out of curiosity like, "Did she suffer? What happened?" Other than that, she just acted shocked and saddened. But she didn't ask about the services and unless she does, she won't have a clue when to come to Florida so it doesn't look like she's coming but she might surprise me yet.
For some reason, it takes a week to have a service for someone who has been cremated and that's what Jean wanted. So her services won't be until the first weekend in May. I'll probably fly down there next Thursday to help my dad get it all together. He's already sounding overwhelmed but as usual, he tries to act like he's got it all covered. I'm sure he could use the help, at least when it comes to cleaning her stuff and packing it away. He would sit there and look at every single piece of clothing or silver and stare at it crying for a while. I can just toss the stuff in the box and get on with it. I don't have millions of memories attached to all of her belongings.
Once she asked me if I would take Sydney, her cat, if anything should happen to her. I told her that I would because my father doesn't like cats. But while I was there, my father seemed to be rather close to Sydney, surprisingly enough. He would talk about what a good, smart cat she is...she's actually just a cat, nothing special...but don't we all think our own animals are adorable? If my dad feels the need to brag about the cat, he may very well be too attached to it for me to take it. But I'll make the offer to honor my word anyway.
I don't really need another cat. I'm already in danger of being called the "cat lady down the street" and I don't need to make the appellation stick. If I look around the room that I'm in, any room, any time...I can see 2 cats and a big ass dog forming a triangle of animals around me. I don't want to be surrounded by a square. Besides, Stewie isn't fixed yet and that could make a complete hexadecagon and that simply can't be. So, I may or may not be having an additional cat soon. I sure the heck hope my father is in such a state of grief that he wants to keep Sydney around.
It would be the irony of ironies to see my father with his own cat. The man has hated cats for his entire life. He doesn't like anyone else's dogs either. He liked ours while we were growing up although many of them did seem to go "to the vet" only to never return. That had to be his doing...my mother wouldn't have minded anything that a dog did unless he bit one of her kids. I could almost see him with a dog, but my father living with a cat is like Archie and Meathead living together. You just wouldn't expect to see it. I'm sure anyone who knows my father would get a kick out of him living alone with a cat.
I could tell he was upset this morning. I asked him if it was nice and quiet and he said, "Deafeningly quiet." so I'm sure he's missing her already. You know, he's in such good shape for a man who is going to be 74 next month that I don't really think of him as being old...he's just Dad. And with Jean there, even as sick as she was...I didn't worry as much as I will now that he's alone. He had a medical problem once before and he required an ambulance. That day Jean actually saved his life by calling 911. She couldn't have done that last week, but last year she could.
I know my dad wants me to move near him and I probably should. But it's been tough enough to get up and leave this house. I've been here since the mid 90's and I should have left right after Rick did but moving is never convenient. Between my son and my grandkids...I have to have the room that I have here. Now I have to figure out how to do this...worrying about older parents is never fun.
You know, I was thinking about something...I'll never know for sure, but I bet that Jean's smoking helped her go so soon. Her mother lived well into her 90's with Alzheimer's and if Jean didn't smoke so much, she could have lived that long as well. So, smoking saved her from a slow, hideous death. They don't put this on the sides of the cigarettes:
The Surgeon General has determined that smoking may kill you before you end up in a nursing home.
Yeah...that's another reason to smoke.
OK, I should check out flights to Tampa...I'm not in the mood to drive again so soon.
:)
...and he surprised me. He told me what happened when he spoke to Jean's daughter...he was as shocked as was I. The chick actually took it quite hard. Oddly enough, she just asked for some details surrounding the death out of curiosity like, "Did she suffer? What happened?" Other than that, she just acted shocked and saddened. But she didn't ask about the services and unless she does, she won't have a clue when to come to Florida so it doesn't look like she's coming but she might surprise me yet.
For some reason, it takes a week to have a service for someone who has been cremated and that's what Jean wanted. So her services won't be until the first weekend in May. I'll probably fly down there next Thursday to help my dad get it all together. He's already sounding overwhelmed but as usual, he tries to act like he's got it all covered. I'm sure he could use the help, at least when it comes to cleaning her stuff and packing it away. He would sit there and look at every single piece of clothing or silver and stare at it crying for a while. I can just toss the stuff in the box and get on with it. I don't have millions of memories attached to all of her belongings.
Once she asked me if I would take Sydney, her cat, if anything should happen to her. I told her that I would because my father doesn't like cats. But while I was there, my father seemed to be rather close to Sydney, surprisingly enough. He would talk about what a good, smart cat she is...she's actually just a cat, nothing special...but don't we all think our own animals are adorable? If my dad feels the need to brag about the cat, he may very well be too attached to it for me to take it. But I'll make the offer to honor my word anyway.
I don't really need another cat. I'm already in danger of being called the "cat lady down the street" and I don't need to make the appellation stick. If I look around the room that I'm in, any room, any time...I can see 2 cats and a big ass dog forming a triangle of animals around me. I don't want to be surrounded by a square. Besides, Stewie isn't fixed yet and that could make a complete hexadecagon and that simply can't be. So, I may or may not be having an additional cat soon. I sure the heck hope my father is in such a state of grief that he wants to keep Sydney around.
It would be the irony of ironies to see my father with his own cat. The man has hated cats for his entire life. He doesn't like anyone else's dogs either. He liked ours while we were growing up although many of them did seem to go "to the vet" only to never return. That had to be his doing...my mother wouldn't have minded anything that a dog did unless he bit one of her kids. I could almost see him with a dog, but my father living with a cat is like Archie and Meathead living together. You just wouldn't expect to see it. I'm sure anyone who knows my father would get a kick out of him living alone with a cat.
I could tell he was upset this morning. I asked him if it was nice and quiet and he said, "Deafeningly quiet." so I'm sure he's missing her already. You know, he's in such good shape for a man who is going to be 74 next month that I don't really think of him as being old...he's just Dad. And with Jean there, even as sick as she was...I didn't worry as much as I will now that he's alone. He had a medical problem once before and he required an ambulance. That day Jean actually saved his life by calling 911. She couldn't have done that last week, but last year she could.
I know my dad wants me to move near him and I probably should. But it's been tough enough to get up and leave this house. I've been here since the mid 90's and I should have left right after Rick did but moving is never convenient. Between my son and my grandkids...I have to have the room that I have here. Now I have to figure out how to do this...worrying about older parents is never fun.
You know, I was thinking about something...I'll never know for sure, but I bet that Jean's smoking helped her go so soon. Her mother lived well into her 90's with Alzheimer's and if Jean didn't smoke so much, she could have lived that long as well. So, smoking saved her from a slow, hideous death. They don't put this on the sides of the cigarettes:
The Surgeon General has determined that smoking may kill you before you end up in a nursing home.
Yeah...that's another reason to smoke.
OK, I should check out flights to Tampa...I'm not in the mood to drive again so soon.
:)
posted by Meg Kelso | 5:19 AM
6 Comments:
Hi Meg-
I am sorry (and surprised!) to hear about your loss! Jean was too strong of a lady! Poor daughter.She'll have to live with her guilt.
I say take the cat- besides I like listening to your pet stories (even if my input makes me sound selfish!)
SolarisGal (can't log in lol)
Hey, if you need any help when you are down here, let me know! Even if it to just get out of the house for a while.
As for the shuttle launch, I might have to wait for the next one. We got a hearing date for the house here, and if we can't postpone it, my world could be in complete disarray at the end of May. I might know more after the 9th...but it might be too late to make arrangements then.
In case you still want to go, here is the page with details for the May 31 launch of Discovery.
http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/shuttle/main/index.html
I might have to wait til the August launch :(
here is a launch schedule:
http://www.nasa.gov/missions/highlights/schedule.html
Hey Meg!
So I don't know what was the deal with Jean & her daughter, but maybe there are some details that are unknown to 3rd parties. I'm just thinking this is always the way with relationships. Either way, I'm sure they both regret(ted) not having solved their issues.
ps. I'm not a smoker but I agree.
My father was married to Jean when Kerri lived at home and he never saw anything but a spoiled brat and a mother who felt so guilty about the years she drank that she let the little brat walk all over her. You're right...we'll never know. But I can't imagine what would make a child ignore their mother for so many years...hanging up on her over and over again...refusing to come visit her, never, ever calling and "disowning" her mother. If Jean had sold her into white slavery, I might get it. But I sure the hell don't get this.
My mom wasn't perfect, she screwed me a few times. But I could never have cut her out of my life. I wouldn't cause that pain to another human being and I couldn't live with the guilt...especially if she had died before I came to my senses.
Yes, you may be right. The good thing (in my mind) is that if (and I hope it does) karma exists, it will all work out in the end. If the daughter did her wrong, she'll eventually pay for it one way or another.
Oh yes...karma MUST exist...I have far too much riding on it! If not, I need to go on a shooting spree right now.
:)
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