When I sit down to write...
...at the computer, I usually listen to one of my playlists. The easiest way to adjust the volume is to turn the knob on the speaker...that's all it takes. I think that even though I'm in another room and I listen to a lot of the same music that my father listens to, he goes out of his way to turn all of the possible volume controls down, just to send me a message.
I'm not sure what the message is...it could be, "I don't like it when you listen to music.", it could be, "I didn't like the song that was playing when I walked in and kicked you out of the computer room.", or it could be, "I just like to be a dick and make things difficult because it pleasures me." I'm not sure which message he's trying to send so until he uses my favorite form of communication...words...I shan't even pretend to decipher that code. I'm just glad that he knows so little about computers...I could turn the volume down in at least 3 more places if I were so inclined. And...I think I'll do that the morning that I leave. I'll just respond to him in his language.
He's still pouting and I don't know why. Jean worries about it constantly...for all she knows she DID do something wrong. She can't remember. I keep telling her that she didn't do anything wrong. It never occurs to her that he's just been in a very bad mood for 60 years.
Jean is an old lady so it won't do much damage to her although it still isn't very nice. But growing up wondering what you were doing wrong is quite distracting. It takes away from the time one could spend on self improvement. Tsk tsk.
I made a mistake and answered the phone quickly last night thinking that it was my son calling me back. It was someone that I didn't want to talk to. Don't you hate that? I had to talk to the dude and that was no fun. He asked me out for this weekend, "Friday or Saturday night" to be exact. I was rather noncommittal in my response. I said, "That would be nice." And it would be...for some other woman. I don't want to go anywhere with that guy. I guess I'll have to tell him the truth today...I wasn't in the mood to do that when he called during the movie I was watching.
I need to get out of this house but not badly enough to go out with someone else who I don't want to be around. My father said that I was too picky. Maybe I am. I'll know when there's a guy that I want to spend time with. I just haven't seen one in a very long time.
I can't help but think of men in terms of "Would I want to have them sitting on my couch next to me for an entire evening?" If I wouldn't...and I usually don't...I won't bother with them. There's no other reason to go out with a guy. Men have a goal...they want to get in your pants. If you aren't the type that they would screw, they won't ask you out. I do the same thing only with a different goal...that of getting a guy I like to my house to hang out for a while. If I wouldn't invite a guy over...I'm not going out with him in the first place.
That's not such a bad thing. It keep me aways from creeps, drug addicts and liars. I can see one of those things coming a mile away so there isn't ever a chance for one of them to get me away from my own personal safety zone. This particular guy said, "We could go out for dinner and then come back here, I have an 8 foot pool table in my basement."
First of all, I don't like to shoot pool on an 8 foot table and secondly...I don't go out with any guy who tells me that the plan is to go to his house. I don't know if a guy is that trustworthy before I sit and talk to him for a while. During the course of dinner I can tell if a guy is couch-worthy. I should know before I get to dinner but some guys can get past my freak radar long enough for me to accept a date with them but none of them can get through dinner without showing themselves. Liars are easy...they just don't realize it because most people don't tell them when they're lying.
A lying husband has his wife to call him a liar but single men really don't have anyone to tell them how obvious their lies are. Also, any guy who talks about women from their past aren't making it to dessert. I cannot abide that in a guy. I don't want to be the next woman that they talk about over appetizers. And no normal guy is going to want to be around a female who enjoys talking about his ex's.
Anyway...if my father keeps up his rotten mood, I may just go out tonight. I'm not tippy toeing around this condo trying to keep someone happy who doesn't want to be happy. I can go out and just be happy myself.
Of course, their laundry is all piled up out in the hallway so I guess that's a hint that I need to do laundry today. A brief, "Would you mind doing the laundry?" would have worked just fine. But since Jean has so few clothes that fit and don't have burn holes in them...I think I'll go get ready to do the stupid laundry. I do mine here with the condo machines. It's cheaper and it works better. But for some reason, my father insists that his laundry be done at the funky laundromat down the street. What the fuck ever.
...at the computer, I usually listen to one of my playlists. The easiest way to adjust the volume is to turn the knob on the speaker...that's all it takes. I think that even though I'm in another room and I listen to a lot of the same music that my father listens to, he goes out of his way to turn all of the possible volume controls down, just to send me a message.
I'm not sure what the message is...it could be, "I don't like it when you listen to music.", it could be, "I didn't like the song that was playing when I walked in and kicked you out of the computer room.", or it could be, "I just like to be a dick and make things difficult because it pleasures me." I'm not sure which message he's trying to send so until he uses my favorite form of communication...words...I shan't even pretend to decipher that code. I'm just glad that he knows so little about computers...I could turn the volume down in at least 3 more places if I were so inclined. And...I think I'll do that the morning that I leave. I'll just respond to him in his language.
He's still pouting and I don't know why. Jean worries about it constantly...for all she knows she DID do something wrong. She can't remember. I keep telling her that she didn't do anything wrong. It never occurs to her that he's just been in a very bad mood for 60 years.
Jean is an old lady so it won't do much damage to her although it still isn't very nice. But growing up wondering what you were doing wrong is quite distracting. It takes away from the time one could spend on self improvement. Tsk tsk.
I made a mistake and answered the phone quickly last night thinking that it was my son calling me back. It was someone that I didn't want to talk to. Don't you hate that? I had to talk to the dude and that was no fun. He asked me out for this weekend, "Friday or Saturday night" to be exact. I was rather noncommittal in my response. I said, "That would be nice." And it would be...for some other woman. I don't want to go anywhere with that guy. I guess I'll have to tell him the truth today...I wasn't in the mood to do that when he called during the movie I was watching.
I need to get out of this house but not badly enough to go out with someone else who I don't want to be around. My father said that I was too picky. Maybe I am. I'll know when there's a guy that I want to spend time with. I just haven't seen one in a very long time.
I can't help but think of men in terms of "Would I want to have them sitting on my couch next to me for an entire evening?" If I wouldn't...and I usually don't...I won't bother with them. There's no other reason to go out with a guy. Men have a goal...they want to get in your pants. If you aren't the type that they would screw, they won't ask you out. I do the same thing only with a different goal...that of getting a guy I like to my house to hang out for a while. If I wouldn't invite a guy over...I'm not going out with him in the first place.
That's not such a bad thing. It keep me aways from creeps, drug addicts and liars. I can see one of those things coming a mile away so there isn't ever a chance for one of them to get me away from my own personal safety zone. This particular guy said, "We could go out for dinner and then come back here, I have an 8 foot pool table in my basement."
First of all, I don't like to shoot pool on an 8 foot table and secondly...I don't go out with any guy who tells me that the plan is to go to his house. I don't know if a guy is that trustworthy before I sit and talk to him for a while. During the course of dinner I can tell if a guy is couch-worthy. I should know before I get to dinner but some guys can get past my freak radar long enough for me to accept a date with them but none of them can get through dinner without showing themselves. Liars are easy...they just don't realize it because most people don't tell them when they're lying.
A lying husband has his wife to call him a liar but single men really don't have anyone to tell them how obvious their lies are. Also, any guy who talks about women from their past aren't making it to dessert. I cannot abide that in a guy. I don't want to be the next woman that they talk about over appetizers. And no normal guy is going to want to be around a female who enjoys talking about his ex's.
Anyway...if my father keeps up his rotten mood, I may just go out tonight. I'm not tippy toeing around this condo trying to keep someone happy who doesn't want to be happy. I can go out and just be happy myself.
Of course, their laundry is all piled up out in the hallway so I guess that's a hint that I need to do laundry today. A brief, "Would you mind doing the laundry?" would have worked just fine. But since Jean has so few clothes that fit and don't have burn holes in them...I think I'll go get ready to do the stupid laundry. I do mine here with the condo machines. It's cheaper and it works better. But for some reason, my father insists that his laundry be done at the funky laundromat down the street. What the fuck ever.
posted by Meg Kelso | 8:17 AM
4 Comments:
Would you like to be picked up and whisked off to Panera (or some other place to snack on something while we chat for a few hours?)
I'm not sure of my schedule for the next few days yet but you have my email and phone number...give me a call if you want to be rescued for a brief break.
:)
Absolutely. Come and get me. I'll search your number up now...stay right there.
I missed something- whatever happened to the dude who took so long to make a pass at you?
That would be Cheek Dude. (I think. There's another one who never DID make a pass at me...even AFTER my divorce. We were just friends and he took that seriously. But that didn't stop Rick from trying to name him in the divorce...but he didn't know the right name.) Cheek Dude bored me. It's not so much that he bored me but it was one of those things where I had to make that same old decision...either commit to him or walk away. I chose to take a walk. If I go out with a guy long enough to sleep with him...and I did date Cheeck Dude long enough for that...I start to get a bit irritated at the lack of reciprocity in the bedroom department. I put in extra special effort and take pride in what I'm doing. And NO...I don't SAY anything. If it isn't in a guy to make the effort himself, then anything that I say would only create temporary results. I'd be irritated again in two weeks. So, he is a nice guy...but not the one. I'm not wasting time pleasuring a guy who isn't the one if it doesn't get me anywhere. I can be frustrated enough alone. It's just worse when I have a perfectly able bodied man right in front of me who doesn't help me out. I end up wanting to hit him in the head with a bat and that's not gonna accomplish anything.
:)
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