I was speaking to an old...

...high school friend this morning. She's not really OLD, she's just been my friend for a LONG, LONG time. She's divorced too and she was asking me what I wanted out of life. She was talking during a long chat we had on the phone a while ago and she basically said that she didn't have a clue what she wanted out of life. She said that she had never given it any thought. I told her that she might want to because how else will you know it when it's right in front of you?

She got me thinking...what DO I want out of my life?

Besides the obvious, like winning the lottery or something cool like that, all I want is what everybody else wants...to be happy.

And, to me that means having someone special who cares about me the way that I care about him. I'd like a guy who I could trust...even when things look bad. I'd love to have a guy who was so honest that I know he would tell the truth no matter how mad it might make me. Nothing makes me madder than a dishonest person so lying is counter-productive anyway.

I'd like a guy who enjoys his family and mine. Rick had no family to speak of and he kept me so far away from the people who did care about me that there was never anyone to invite over for holiday celebrations and I love those types of family get-togethers. I'd like to be the one who cooks for a week because so many aunts, uncles and grandparents will be headed for my place for Thanksgiving, Easter, whatever.

Once I find that guy, if he doesn't own his own business, I'd like to buy one with him so that we could work together to make sure we could spoil a bunch of grandkids. And, at my age, any guy I would find would have elderly parents. I'd like a guy who wouldn't mind if my father had to live with us. I sure wouldn't mind having his parents stay with us...it just fills the house with sounds and makes you feel happy, needed and loved.

I'd like a guy who likes sports. Then I would have someone to watch the games with. Although it would be nice if he enjoyed the same teams that I did, he doesn't have to. There's something to be said about a nice friendly in-house rivalry. I wouldn't even mind a face-painter although I would have to wear a mask if I went out in public with him while his face was painted.

He would have to like my animals and treat them nicely. You can tell a lot about a man by how he treats animals and his mother. Any man who isn't kind to his mother isn't much of a man. Neither is one who talks shit about MY family. I wouldn't allow ANYONE to treat my family like dirt and I wouldn't ever treat his family poorly, either.

I would hope that, if I ever get one of those guys, neither one of us would die for a while. I'd like to spend time with someone to make up for all the time that I've spent either alone or miserably married.

So, basically, my answer to her question is that I would just be happy to be happily married to someone who wants the same thing. He should be able to laugh or at least be willing to try to laugh again. He should be a real man, not some 20 something dude who still has women to conquer. I wouldn't mind if he had kids, that would be a nice thing. I love kids, I really do. I never did before, I guess it's just age that makes you like the wee ones so much.

Although it would be nice if he was hot, I wouldn't rule anyone out on the basis of looks. Unless that is, he looks really creepy. I wouldn't want to be afraid of the guy.

OK...I had something else that I keep forgetting to tell you but as usual, it'll come to me later. Maybe I'll be smart enough to write it down.