I want to live...
...in a log cabin somewhere and live like the Ingalls family. All I would need is a small place on the side of a mountain near a spring. I'm not nuts, I wouldn't want a Lincoln type cabin with a dirt floor...I'd need a really cool A-frame cabin with a wall of windows through which I could watch the sunset. But, I could do without electricity and cable...just to avoid days like today when I was forced to go without.
I woke up and fed my animals at about 6 AM. Ordinarily once I get up, I stay up, but last night I took a pain pill and I guess it made me tired. (I'll tell you about the doctor's visit later.) So, I went back to bed, hugging my buddy, Howie the Heating Pad. A bit later quiet woke me up. I sleep with the TV on so when it stopped, I woke up immediately.
I sat up, slightly confused, looked at the darkened TV screen and thought, "Didn't I leave that on?" Then I answered me, "Why yes, you certainly did."
Next I looked at Howie's power thingie and the light was off. I checked to see if he was plugged in and he was. My 'lectricty was kaput. You should try it for a day, really. It's a trip. The only thing is that you can't plan for it, it has to happen when you least expect it to get the true Daniel Boone experience of having a houseful of crap that have plugs with nothing to plug them into.
As the aunt in My Big Fat Greek Wedding said, "Woe to me."
I was half asleep and needed some coffee. The only option was county jail coffee, that from a hot tap mixed with powdered coffee. That wouldn't have melted the creamer and it would have been cold in a few minutes anyway so I passed.
To the phone! Well, sort of. Nowadays phones have advanced to the point where even they have plugs now. But, I do have that 50 year old rotary phone. The only problem is the computers that answer the phone don't speak rotary. They certainly don't understand it.
The rotary phone works perfectly...except for the fact that it doesn't ring. No one, absolutely no one, could call me back. And...no one could believe that I didn't have a cell phone. I resist change.
Luckily, it was too cold to take my jammies off. All I had to do was put more clothes on over the jammies. I needed layers. And I needed 3 pairs of socks and some furry footies. I was pretty comfortable, but my hands did spend some time in my dog's armpits which were rather warm. As many layers of clothes that I had on, I still spent most of my day under a LOT of big, warm, thick and furry blankets.
My culinary choices were rather thin, I could either have cinnamon and raisin bread that I bought to make toast with or I could have a hot dog. The only way to cook one of those was to light a can of Sterno and hold the weiner over the flame at the end of a fork. I didn't want to go to that much trouble for a hot dog although I did finally use the Sterno to heat up some coffee water...TA DA!
You know, the things that make a day interesting are the little things. This was fun...halfway through the day I walked into the hall bathroom to put some lotion on my hands. I pumped the stuff into one hand and then used the other to flip the light switch on. When it didn't work, I looked up and decided that the light bulb must have blown out. So, I did what any other blond would do, I went into the kitchen for another light bulb. I had the old bulb out before I realized what a bonehead I was.
Oh, and when I looked at the microwave to see what time it was, I realized that it was out and I even knew why it was out. But that didn't stop me from walking into my living to and looking at the satellite box to see what time it was. I was actually standing in the middle of the living room looking at the box for the time. Once again, bonehead.
I started to do countless stupid things today that you just take for granted when the power is on. My brain caught most of them right away, like when I almost went to watch recorded shows since I didn't have cable. But every so often I would do something so incredibly stupid that I have to wonder if a prescription for Aricept isn't in my near future.
Anyway, I like the cabin idea. I would have plans for all of these things. It would be much less to worry about. Of course, you always have to be sure that you don't live next door to any Unabomber wannabes...but barring one of them, I would be happy up on a hill somewhere.
I've flown all over this country...there are a LOT of hills that no one is using. I think the government should give me one. That's some change, isn't it? Give people over 50 a hill. Even half a hill would work. We could just leave and let you guys all play with your blueberries and hand pods. This is actually a good idea. I think I'll write a letter to Obama and mention it.
On second thought, I don't want to be on any Secret Service list so maybe not.
...in a log cabin somewhere and live like the Ingalls family. All I would need is a small place on the side of a mountain near a spring. I'm not nuts, I wouldn't want a Lincoln type cabin with a dirt floor...I'd need a really cool A-frame cabin with a wall of windows through which I could watch the sunset. But, I could do without electricity and cable...just to avoid days like today when I was forced to go without.
I woke up and fed my animals at about 6 AM. Ordinarily once I get up, I stay up, but last night I took a pain pill and I guess it made me tired. (I'll tell you about the doctor's visit later.) So, I went back to bed, hugging my buddy, Howie the Heating Pad. A bit later quiet woke me up. I sleep with the TV on so when it stopped, I woke up immediately.
I sat up, slightly confused, looked at the darkened TV screen and thought, "Didn't I leave that on?" Then I answered me, "Why yes, you certainly did."
Next I looked at Howie's power thingie and the light was off. I checked to see if he was plugged in and he was. My 'lectricty was kaput. You should try it for a day, really. It's a trip. The only thing is that you can't plan for it, it has to happen when you least expect it to get the true Daniel Boone experience of having a houseful of crap that have plugs with nothing to plug them into.
As the aunt in My Big Fat Greek Wedding said, "Woe to me."
I was half asleep and needed some coffee. The only option was county jail coffee, that from a hot tap mixed with powdered coffee. That wouldn't have melted the creamer and it would have been cold in a few minutes anyway so I passed.
To the phone! Well, sort of. Nowadays phones have advanced to the point where even they have plugs now. But, I do have that 50 year old rotary phone. The only problem is the computers that answer the phone don't speak rotary. They certainly don't understand it.
The rotary phone works perfectly...except for the fact that it doesn't ring. No one, absolutely no one, could call me back. And...no one could believe that I didn't have a cell phone. I resist change.
Luckily, it was too cold to take my jammies off. All I had to do was put more clothes on over the jammies. I needed layers. And I needed 3 pairs of socks and some furry footies. I was pretty comfortable, but my hands did spend some time in my dog's armpits which were rather warm. As many layers of clothes that I had on, I still spent most of my day under a LOT of big, warm, thick and furry blankets.
My culinary choices were rather thin, I could either have cinnamon and raisin bread that I bought to make toast with or I could have a hot dog. The only way to cook one of those was to light a can of Sterno and hold the weiner over the flame at the end of a fork. I didn't want to go to that much trouble for a hot dog although I did finally use the Sterno to heat up some coffee water...TA DA!
You know, the things that make a day interesting are the little things. This was fun...halfway through the day I walked into the hall bathroom to put some lotion on my hands. I pumped the stuff into one hand and then used the other to flip the light switch on. When it didn't work, I looked up and decided that the light bulb must have blown out. So, I did what any other blond would do, I went into the kitchen for another light bulb. I had the old bulb out before I realized what a bonehead I was.
Oh, and when I looked at the microwave to see what time it was, I realized that it was out and I even knew why it was out. But that didn't stop me from walking into my living to and looking at the satellite box to see what time it was. I was actually standing in the middle of the living room looking at the box for the time. Once again, bonehead.
I started to do countless stupid things today that you just take for granted when the power is on. My brain caught most of them right away, like when I almost went to watch recorded shows since I didn't have cable. But every so often I would do something so incredibly stupid that I have to wonder if a prescription for Aricept isn't in my near future.
Anyway, I like the cabin idea. I would have plans for all of these things. It would be much less to worry about. Of course, you always have to be sure that you don't live next door to any Unabomber wannabes...but barring one of them, I would be happy up on a hill somewhere.
I've flown all over this country...there are a LOT of hills that no one is using. I think the government should give me one. That's some change, isn't it? Give people over 50 a hill. Even half a hill would work. We could just leave and let you guys all play with your blueberries and hand pods. This is actually a good idea. I think I'll write a letter to Obama and mention it.
On second thought, I don't want to be on any Secret Service list so maybe not.
posted by Meg Kelso | 6:03 PM
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