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Thursday, December 02, 2010

What's YOUR passion?


I have a friend (Sally)...

...who is having a colonoscopy today. Yesterday, while speaking to a nurse on the phone (who was asking her some pre-scope questions) my friend had an interesting little dialogue. At one point the nurse asked if Sally had any questions to which Sally replied:

"So, the doctor does this a lot, right?"

The nurse, in an attempt to make Sally feel better responded, "Oh yes, it's his life's passion."

Sally was a bit taken aback, "Looking up people's butt's is his passion?"

"Yes." replied the nurse.

Alrighty then. I don't think that comment would put any one's mind at ease and now Sally is a bit concerned as well. But, she and I have planned a small surprise for the passionate butt doctor.

I am going to draw notes on her butt.

I haven't decided what I'm going to do yet but arrows on the butt and a red NO ENTRANCE sign for other portals seems appropriate, don't you think? If you have any ideas, I'd be happy to hear them. I can't do it for a while because Sally just finished downing a gallon of purgative designed to make her inner butt as clean as a whistle and she's in the can right now.

When I asked her what the liquid tasted like, she said, "It's a mix between sea water and lake water." I can't imagine a worse taste. Luckily, it came with a flavor package. I guess if I had to drink sea water, I'd want it to be cherry flavored as well.

Well, eventually Sally's insides will be as clean as her outsides and I'll need to come up with something witty to draw on her ass for her passionate doctor. I am so curious about that man...I wonder how old he was when he decided that assholes would be his life's work and yes...his passion.

I SAW nurses and wanted to be one, I wonder if he saw butt's and wanted to inspect them or if he marveled at his own ass as a young child. Maybe it's something about the sphincter that gets his blood pumping...maybe it's the amazing topography of the large intestine or the mysterious recesses of the small intestine. It could be the pinkish hue of an inflamed appendix or the way a hemorrhoid peeks out of a nice, tight asshole. I don't know what gets a proctologist going in the morning but luckily for Sally, there is one of them eating his breakfast right now getting ready for her and we now know that he is passionate about his job. I just wish I knew if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

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