Finally Meg, breathe; deeply and slowly. This life is your dance; don’t let others make you do the hustle if you want to waltz. Dance your dance, and enjoy every minute of it.

Ah, the voice of reason. Thank you for taking the time to write all of that, I am going to call the clerk as soon as I get off of this computer. And then, I am going out to eat with a friend of mine who lives down here.

Then, I may call my sister to see if she wants to drive down here, she isn't too far. I will drive home late tomorrow and make my doctor's appointment to be sure I am not dead and then I will start over again. So, after the phone call to the clerk, I will just be relaxing, my nerves are about shot and I need to breathe.

Every time I think I am about to be over all of this, stupid shit happens to mess up my entire party. It is in the 80's here today, I am not going to the beach, it was too cold there. I think I'll just go eat and see what my friend wants to do and just hang out. I have found a computer that is slower than mine so I am having all kinds of trouble trying to post but that's OK, I will just post what I can and then get home so I can feel more at ease with my own computer. That is, if my son's friend put it back together.

You know, I am amazed at how a person who is supposed to love you can not only stop caring when you are in a bad place but actually makes the place bad for you when you can't seem to find a good place. I thought the pity parties were over but when stuff gets this creepy, I just can't seem to help it. But, as usual, someone wrote to this blog and said the exact right things. I needed to hear from someone who sounded grounded and reasonable and I did. Thank you for that, David.

OK, I am over it now, I will go get dressed and wait by the pool until my freind gets here. I hope you guys are having a good day! See ya soon,

Meg