The news can really suck...
...can’t it? I was watching tonight and it occurred to me that all it really is, is gossip. It doesn’t concern me and there’s nothing in it that I NEED to know, so I think that it pretty much is just a bunch of people sitting around gossiping about people in this area.
They spoke about stupid stuff today. A lady had her motion detector lights go on last night and when she looked out the window, there was a man walking away. Hell, that happens to me every week. It never occurred to me to call the local news stations. I guess I will now that I know it’s a newsworthy event. I wonder what else I should let them know. Perhaps they would be interested in my trash can getting knocked over by an unidentified raccoon.
The people that they have announcing the news are an interesting lot. When I first moved here to Atlanta, there was a sportscaster dude who actually spray painted his head black. Now, they have a newscaster who has a speech impediment. How nuts is that? I don’t think that people with speech impediments should be shunned, but if the only thing that your job requires is speaking, you’d think that they would hire someone who can do it well. If I knew that you could get these jobs so easily, I would have applied myself. I can speak.
Of course, we’re on the week long hurricane watch down here in the southeast. It won’t come anywhere near Atlanta, but every television program that is on has a little picture of a hurricane down in the corner of the screen. It did help while I was watching Judge Judy, the hurricane covered an ugly guy who was on that show.
Seriously, they showed the soldiers in Afganistan burning bodies and yesterday I said how silly it was to be so hard on the soldiers for that. Seeing the news today certainly put a different spin on that incident then the report that I saw yesterday. I have to say, I was a bit appalled at what I saw. But, I still think that they should go after the fools in charge instead of finding some ugly little private to take the fall.
Apparently, if the private is ugly, they have no problem putting them in jail. If it had been a cute little blonde who had abused those prisoners, I doubt that we would all sit by and be happy to see her go to prison.
Isn’t that ridiculous? I watch those judge shows and the men judges are so blatantly easy on the pretty chicks that are being sued. If I were being sued, I would want Judge Mathis to hear my case. I would wear the slinkiest dress that I have and tape my boobs together and smile pretty.
Acting stupid seems to help. I was pulled over a couple of weeks ago and I didn’t have my license. I was driving on a suspended license and apparently, I was going a little too fast.
I totally acted like a ditz and that saved me. When the cop asked me for my license, I went in my wallet and said, “Oh, here is my nursing license.” He said, “No, I need your driver’s license.”
So, I went into my purse and started digging around. He said, “I saw your license in your wallet.”
“No, that’s an ID card.” I replied.
“Where is your license?” he asked.
“Here’s one, but it’s expired.”
I handed him the ID card and he asked me if I had a license. I said, “Yes, there it is." "But ma'am, this one is expired. Don't you have a license?"
"I don’t know.”
So, he asked me why I had an ID card. I told him that I got a ticket and they took my license away.
He asked me if I had my license suspended. I said, “I haven’t been to court yet.”
“That doesn’t matter.” he said. So I said, “They couldn’t have taken it away before I even went to court.”
He said, “Oh, yes ma’am, they certainly could. Don’t you know if you have a license?”
“I gave it to you.”
“Yes, but it’s expired.”
We went around like that a few times and then he went back to his squad car and called whoever it is they call. When he came back, he told me that the computer was down and I better find out if I have a license. I played so incredibly stupid that he didn’t want to bother with me anymore. Only a man would believe that a woman is that dumb. It used to annoy me, but now I just use it to my own advantage.
So, he gave me a speeding ticket and a ticket for not having my license on me. I have decided to be a good girl and not drive until I get my license back next month. In the meantime, I will just keep on acting like an idiot and see how far it get's me. So far, it’s working pretty damn well.
OK, I think I’m going to go and watch the news some more. You never know when there might be an update on that unidentified raccoon.
...can’t it? I was watching tonight and it occurred to me that all it really is, is gossip. It doesn’t concern me and there’s nothing in it that I NEED to know, so I think that it pretty much is just a bunch of people sitting around gossiping about people in this area.
They spoke about stupid stuff today. A lady had her motion detector lights go on last night and when she looked out the window, there was a man walking away. Hell, that happens to me every week. It never occurred to me to call the local news stations. I guess I will now that I know it’s a newsworthy event. I wonder what else I should let them know. Perhaps they would be interested in my trash can getting knocked over by an unidentified raccoon.
The people that they have announcing the news are an interesting lot. When I first moved here to Atlanta, there was a sportscaster dude who actually spray painted his head black. Now, they have a newscaster who has a speech impediment. How nuts is that? I don’t think that people with speech impediments should be shunned, but if the only thing that your job requires is speaking, you’d think that they would hire someone who can do it well. If I knew that you could get these jobs so easily, I would have applied myself. I can speak.
Of course, we’re on the week long hurricane watch down here in the southeast. It won’t come anywhere near Atlanta, but every television program that is on has a little picture of a hurricane down in the corner of the screen. It did help while I was watching Judge Judy, the hurricane covered an ugly guy who was on that show.
Seriously, they showed the soldiers in Afganistan burning bodies and yesterday I said how silly it was to be so hard on the soldiers for that. Seeing the news today certainly put a different spin on that incident then the report that I saw yesterday. I have to say, I was a bit appalled at what I saw. But, I still think that they should go after the fools in charge instead of finding some ugly little private to take the fall.
Apparently, if the private is ugly, they have no problem putting them in jail. If it had been a cute little blonde who had abused those prisoners, I doubt that we would all sit by and be happy to see her go to prison.
Isn’t that ridiculous? I watch those judge shows and the men judges are so blatantly easy on the pretty chicks that are being sued. If I were being sued, I would want Judge Mathis to hear my case. I would wear the slinkiest dress that I have and tape my boobs together and smile pretty.
Acting stupid seems to help. I was pulled over a couple of weeks ago and I didn’t have my license. I was driving on a suspended license and apparently, I was going a little too fast.
I totally acted like a ditz and that saved me. When the cop asked me for my license, I went in my wallet and said, “Oh, here is my nursing license.” He said, “No, I need your driver’s license.”
So, I went into my purse and started digging around. He said, “I saw your license in your wallet.”
“No, that’s an ID card.” I replied.
“Where is your license?” he asked.
“Here’s one, but it’s expired.”
I handed him the ID card and he asked me if I had a license. I said, “Yes, there it is." "But ma'am, this one is expired. Don't you have a license?"
"I don’t know.”
So, he asked me why I had an ID card. I told him that I got a ticket and they took my license away.
He asked me if I had my license suspended. I said, “I haven’t been to court yet.”
“That doesn’t matter.” he said. So I said, “They couldn’t have taken it away before I even went to court.”
He said, “Oh, yes ma’am, they certainly could. Don’t you know if you have a license?”
“I gave it to you.”
“Yes, but it’s expired.”
We went around like that a few times and then he went back to his squad car and called whoever it is they call. When he came back, he told me that the computer was down and I better find out if I have a license. I played so incredibly stupid that he didn’t want to bother with me anymore. Only a man would believe that a woman is that dumb. It used to annoy me, but now I just use it to my own advantage.
So, he gave me a speeding ticket and a ticket for not having my license on me. I have decided to be a good girl and not drive until I get my license back next month. In the meantime, I will just keep on acting like an idiot and see how far it get's me. So far, it’s working pretty damn well.
OK, I think I’m going to go and watch the news some more. You never know when there might be an update on that unidentified raccoon.
posted by Meg Kelso | 4:10 PM
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