Dear Meg,
...I never, (maybe at one time) really actively pursued women outside of my marriage but I always sent out "availability" signals while keeping the tension levels high at home so that my wife's anger would make her unreceptive to me in a sexual situation, thus making my availability to other women seem justified (at least to myself). Strangely there are always women that have similar problems that pick up on these signals and respond with advances of their own, so I could always do the 'its not my fault" thing...
I appreciated this man’s honesty. Both of my ex’s did the same thing. The first one, Mark, would come home from work and literally pick a fight with me so that I would say, “Just go ahead and leave.” And, of course, he would. That was his plan. He could go out for the night without any feelings of guilt and then he could screw anyone he wanted to. That one was a hoot. When I asked him why he wouldn’t call home during his long nights out, he kept telling me that he had forgotten our phone number. So, like an idiot, I put the phone number in his wallet so that even that nit wit couldn’t miss it.
It didn’t make him call home at all. But, it did give one of his girlfriends our phone number. Louisa May Wilson called me 2 weeks before my daughter was born and asked me, “Doesn’t it bother you that your husband is out with me while you‘re pregnant?” Not one to give anyone the pleasure of hurting me, I told her, “Nope. The doctor told me that I shouldn’t have sex so I told Mark to go out and find whatever he could and I guess you’re it.” I was 21 and I later found out that she was 40 something. Mark literally never met a woman he didn’t like.
Rick, on the other hand, was a bit more deceptive. He would act like a jerk without really starting a fight. He would wait for me to ask what was wrong and then he would just say, “Nothing.” I would try to go along with that but he would just keep being a jack ass until I had to say something and when I would demand to know what was going on, he would just tell me how rotten I was. By then, he would already be screwing some bimbo and I truly mean some bimbo. The chicks that he would screw were about the nastiest things you would ever lay your eyes on. One of them, Noreen, worked with us. She would wear gold lame shoes with some silly Heidi dress that didn’t match the blouses she wore. She never washed her hair and certainly didn’t brush it.
I think one of the things that bothered me the most about his affairs was that the women were just so disgusting. The last one was hideous as well. I doubt that most decent, good looking women have to sleep with married men so I suppose all he could get was these slimy women.
I wonder if the men who deceive their wives ever objectively look at both women and consider how nasty the sluts are as opposed to the wives. If these guys would be honest with themselves, I think they would see that the wives are truly better women than the mistresses. But few men can be that honest with themselves, it would totally fuck up their game plans.
This guy has a few issues he should deal with:
...my wife has gained weight ever since we got married. I told her when we were dating that if she ever gained weight I would find someone else...
I wish I knew what he looked like. One way or another, if he HAS to find someone who isn’t “overweight”, the least he could do is let his poor wife go so that she could find someone who would appreciate her. That’s another thing that makes me so angry at myself for staying with Rick through all of his affairs, I could have been with a decent man myself.
When I met Rick at 24, I wasn’t a bad looking girl at all but I wasted all of that time on his nasty self. Hell, I could have been with someone who brushed his teeth or even someone who wiped his ass. But nooooo....I had to stay with icky Ricky for the best years of my life.
That hideous fear of being alone is what cost me so many years. I was actually so afraid of being alone that I stayed with this freaky bum who had nothing going for him and no possible future. Well, at least I did finally get it.
Rick never wanted a divorce....at least that’s what he said. He just wanted a 3 year separation. LOLOLOLOL. Well, one year is gone and he already has told me that he never actually cheated and he still loves me. I can’t really blame him for thinking that I’m stupid enough to buy that...I did stay through some truly nasty behavior. Thank God I finally got out of that one.
Now all I need is to win that lottery thing and I’ll be fine. In the meantime, I guess I’ll just do the best I can but even having no money is better than sitting around here waiting for my husband to come home and be nice to me.
Anyway, thank you to the men who wrote to me with such honesty...even the guy who is cheating on his wife was honest with me.
That’s something that Rick could never do. He’s the kind of liar who is absolutely offended when you don’t believe him. He called the other day and said that he would email me the next night. I didn’t ask him to and I didn’t care if he did or not. But he is so used to lying to me that he couldn’t help himself. Instead of emailing me, he did whatever it was that he does and then he sent me this email:
Hi,
Hope your night was okay. It's snowing here again. I couldn't email you last night because my Dad's computer wasn't working. I hope you get some rest and have a good day. I love you.
Rick
His father’s computer wasn’t working? The man is an electronic technician...he can fix the damn thing. I suppose the phones were all screwed up as well. This is the type of stupidity that I’ve put up with for twenty five years. I see the BS so easily now but I didn’t before. There is no way that I could ever believe this guy again. If he told me that it was raining, I’d have to go outside naked to make sure before I got dressed and grabbed an umbrella.
Well, that’s it for now. I would never, ever put up with a man who lied to me once again. I like having one who is honest. He may not always be perfect, but I know that when he says something to me, it’s the truth. I don’t sit there questioning everything he says in my mind when he speaks to me. I had no idea how bad I felt when I was with Rick. I was worried all the time and when I would get into our car I would look around for signs of his latest bimbo. What a rotten way to live. I wouldn’t go back to that life if the only other option was a jungle full of hungry lions. My grandmother used to say that a liar was worse than a thief because you could put a thief in jail but liars roam free doing damage without fear of punishment. How right she was.
Meg
...I never, (maybe at one time) really actively pursued women outside of my marriage but I always sent out "availability" signals while keeping the tension levels high at home so that my wife's anger would make her unreceptive to me in a sexual situation, thus making my availability to other women seem justified (at least to myself). Strangely there are always women that have similar problems that pick up on these signals and respond with advances of their own, so I could always do the 'its not my fault" thing...
I appreciated this man’s honesty. Both of my ex’s did the same thing. The first one, Mark, would come home from work and literally pick a fight with me so that I would say, “Just go ahead and leave.” And, of course, he would. That was his plan. He could go out for the night without any feelings of guilt and then he could screw anyone he wanted to. That one was a hoot. When I asked him why he wouldn’t call home during his long nights out, he kept telling me that he had forgotten our phone number. So, like an idiot, I put the phone number in his wallet so that even that nit wit couldn’t miss it.
It didn’t make him call home at all. But, it did give one of his girlfriends our phone number. Louisa May Wilson called me 2 weeks before my daughter was born and asked me, “Doesn’t it bother you that your husband is out with me while you‘re pregnant?” Not one to give anyone the pleasure of hurting me, I told her, “Nope. The doctor told me that I shouldn’t have sex so I told Mark to go out and find whatever he could and I guess you’re it.” I was 21 and I later found out that she was 40 something. Mark literally never met a woman he didn’t like.
Rick, on the other hand, was a bit more deceptive. He would act like a jerk without really starting a fight. He would wait for me to ask what was wrong and then he would just say, “Nothing.” I would try to go along with that but he would just keep being a jack ass until I had to say something and when I would demand to know what was going on, he would just tell me how rotten I was. By then, he would already be screwing some bimbo and I truly mean some bimbo. The chicks that he would screw were about the nastiest things you would ever lay your eyes on. One of them, Noreen, worked with us. She would wear gold lame shoes with some silly Heidi dress that didn’t match the blouses she wore. She never washed her hair and certainly didn’t brush it.
I think one of the things that bothered me the most about his affairs was that the women were just so disgusting. The last one was hideous as well. I doubt that most decent, good looking women have to sleep with married men so I suppose all he could get was these slimy women.
I wonder if the men who deceive their wives ever objectively look at both women and consider how nasty the sluts are as opposed to the wives. If these guys would be honest with themselves, I think they would see that the wives are truly better women than the mistresses. But few men can be that honest with themselves, it would totally fuck up their game plans.
This guy has a few issues he should deal with:
...my wife has gained weight ever since we got married. I told her when we were dating that if she ever gained weight I would find someone else...
I wish I knew what he looked like. One way or another, if he HAS to find someone who isn’t “overweight”, the least he could do is let his poor wife go so that she could find someone who would appreciate her. That’s another thing that makes me so angry at myself for staying with Rick through all of his affairs, I could have been with a decent man myself.
When I met Rick at 24, I wasn’t a bad looking girl at all but I wasted all of that time on his nasty self. Hell, I could have been with someone who brushed his teeth or even someone who wiped his ass. But nooooo....I had to stay with icky Ricky for the best years of my life.
That hideous fear of being alone is what cost me so many years. I was actually so afraid of being alone that I stayed with this freaky bum who had nothing going for him and no possible future. Well, at least I did finally get it.
Rick never wanted a divorce....at least that’s what he said. He just wanted a 3 year separation. LOLOLOLOL. Well, one year is gone and he already has told me that he never actually cheated and he still loves me. I can’t really blame him for thinking that I’m stupid enough to buy that...I did stay through some truly nasty behavior. Thank God I finally got out of that one.
Now all I need is to win that lottery thing and I’ll be fine. In the meantime, I guess I’ll just do the best I can but even having no money is better than sitting around here waiting for my husband to come home and be nice to me.
Anyway, thank you to the men who wrote to me with such honesty...even the guy who is cheating on his wife was honest with me.
That’s something that Rick could never do. He’s the kind of liar who is absolutely offended when you don’t believe him. He called the other day and said that he would email me the next night. I didn’t ask him to and I didn’t care if he did or not. But he is so used to lying to me that he couldn’t help himself. Instead of emailing me, he did whatever it was that he does and then he sent me this email:
Hi,
Hope your night was okay. It's snowing here again. I couldn't email you last night because my Dad's computer wasn't working. I hope you get some rest and have a good day. I love you.
Rick
His father’s computer wasn’t working? The man is an electronic technician...he can fix the damn thing. I suppose the phones were all screwed up as well. This is the type of stupidity that I’ve put up with for twenty five years. I see the BS so easily now but I didn’t before. There is no way that I could ever believe this guy again. If he told me that it was raining, I’d have to go outside naked to make sure before I got dressed and grabbed an umbrella.
Well, that’s it for now. I would never, ever put up with a man who lied to me once again. I like having one who is honest. He may not always be perfect, but I know that when he says something to me, it’s the truth. I don’t sit there questioning everything he says in my mind when he speaks to me. I had no idea how bad I felt when I was with Rick. I was worried all the time and when I would get into our car I would look around for signs of his latest bimbo. What a rotten way to live. I wouldn’t go back to that life if the only other option was a jungle full of hungry lions. My grandmother used to say that a liar was worse than a thief because you could put a thief in jail but liars roam free doing damage without fear of punishment. How right she was.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 3:37 AM
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