I almost came online...
...a while ago to tell you something that I thought was funny but when I thought about it a bit more, there was a chance that something really bad might happen so I thought better then to joke about it right then. But now that all is well, I don't mind telling you that I laughed quite a bit this evening.
My father, while supposed to be taking his ex wife for a walk, put her in the car and took her to the mall. That's not too funny. But, what he did next was pretty silly...he dropped her off at the entrance and left her there to wait while he parked the car.
Of course, when he came back, she wasn't there. And of course, an exhaustive search of the mall didn't produce her so we had to call the police again...for the second time today...to report the same person missing.
I asked her where she went and she said, "Just for a little walk."
I told my father that he has to make believe that the woman actually has Alzheimer's Disease and act as if she might need some supervision...just for the time being. I'm sure that if he pretends long enough, it might just occur to him that she does, indeed, have Alzheimier's and there's a reason why they lock the door to Alzheimer's units.
I guess it's tough for people to comprehend that the person they know so well is pretty much no longer there. Someone certainly IS there, someone who doesn't at all act like the old person. And this new person doesn't grasp logic. You can torture an Alzheimer's patient every single time that they walk away and they won't ever learn that the torture is coming from their own actions. There won't be any learning anymore, nothing is left to learn with. Things just go downhill from now on.
I'm sure that he's learned his lesson about leaving her unattended...but I doubt that he has any clue what he's in for until she finally does have to go into a nursing home. That's not funny, she will have to go into a nursing home soon and other than my father, nobody cares. Her daughter doesn't care and there really isn't anyone else. If it weren't for my father, she would be locked up already somewhere in Chicago. Her daughter's answer to the "problem" is to have a legal guardian appointed. She doesn't realize that would be like a millionaire applying for food stamps. People who have daughter's don't get public guardians. That's what daughter's are for.
Oh well. She has just walked in here complaining that she's cold...if I don't give her a blanket, she's going to turn off that damn AC so I have to run and cover her ass up.
See ya!
Meg
...a while ago to tell you something that I thought was funny but when I thought about it a bit more, there was a chance that something really bad might happen so I thought better then to joke about it right then. But now that all is well, I don't mind telling you that I laughed quite a bit this evening.
My father, while supposed to be taking his ex wife for a walk, put her in the car and took her to the mall. That's not too funny. But, what he did next was pretty silly...he dropped her off at the entrance and left her there to wait while he parked the car.
Of course, when he came back, she wasn't there. And of course, an exhaustive search of the mall didn't produce her so we had to call the police again...for the second time today...to report the same person missing.
I asked her where she went and she said, "Just for a little walk."
I told my father that he has to make believe that the woman actually has Alzheimer's Disease and act as if she might need some supervision...just for the time being. I'm sure that if he pretends long enough, it might just occur to him that she does, indeed, have Alzheimier's and there's a reason why they lock the door to Alzheimer's units.
I guess it's tough for people to comprehend that the person they know so well is pretty much no longer there. Someone certainly IS there, someone who doesn't at all act like the old person. And this new person doesn't grasp logic. You can torture an Alzheimer's patient every single time that they walk away and they won't ever learn that the torture is coming from their own actions. There won't be any learning anymore, nothing is left to learn with. Things just go downhill from now on.
I'm sure that he's learned his lesson about leaving her unattended...but I doubt that he has any clue what he's in for until she finally does have to go into a nursing home. That's not funny, she will have to go into a nursing home soon and other than my father, nobody cares. Her daughter doesn't care and there really isn't anyone else. If it weren't for my father, she would be locked up already somewhere in Chicago. Her daughter's answer to the "problem" is to have a legal guardian appointed. She doesn't realize that would be like a millionaire applying for food stamps. People who have daughter's don't get public guardians. That's what daughter's are for.
Oh well. She has just walked in here complaining that she's cold...if I don't give her a blanket, she's going to turn off that damn AC so I have to run and cover her ass up.
See ya!
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 4:00 PM
2 Comments:
My father had some form of early Alzheimers or dementia, but still knew who most of us were. He had always had a very sharp wit and quick sense of humor, and after he became afflicted with this, most jokes or witicisms had to be explained to him. A couple of years before he died, my mother was talking about how much he had changed and how he no longer had a sense of humor; she finished by saying very sadly, "And I miss him." After we hung up, I cried almost as hard as I did when he died.
For home care (as long as it lasts), you all might consider getting the door chimes that are enabled simply by opening the door when the charge is disengaged. My mother had to do that after my father started bragging about driving their car at 200 MPH on the highway in the middle of the night. He had always had an active fantasy life, but she just couldn't take the chance, if you know what I mean. She still has them on the doors, and they make a good doorbell.
Hang in there, kiddo.
Anne
My grandfather had some crazy notion that he could "re-train" my grandmother. His theory was that she was reverting back to childhood, so she needed to be trained like a child. We never could get it through his thick skull that Alzheimer's wasn't just reverting back to childhood. When she finally went into a nursing home, he would take it so personally that she didn't remember who he was. He would get angry at her for forgetting him, and held it against her. No matter how hard we tried, he refused to understand what was truly happening. He was certain that his theory was true, and that the rest of us were idiots. She would be so happy to tell you the same story 12 times in a row, with no memory that she'd ever told you, but he wouldn't allow that.
I'm glad your father has you there to make him see what's really going on with his ex-wife. I hope he's more receptive to the reality than my grandfather was.
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