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Hi. I'm trying to think of another description to put here. Any ideas? I'll try again at 420.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

I have a date tonight...

...and I don't want to go. I'm just not in the mood. But I will go because my father taught me to be gracious. Damn him. Why couldn't he have raised a bitch of a daughter who didn't give a second thought to other people's feelings? On top of not wanting to go out, I don't want to go out for dinner and that's what we're doing. Then, we're renting a movie, watching it and if I know men, I'll be playing defense before the movie is over.

And...make no mistake...I know men.

They're an interesting lot...aren't they? They can act so nice and treat you like a queen after they meet you, so you know that they know how to do that. But sooner or later it stops and then they sit around drinking beer and bitching about not getting any trim.

What I don't get is that they find a woman who they enjoy being with, they marry them and then stop doing the things that the two of them enjoyed and then he bitches about not having any fun. And of course, it must be the new wife causing all of the problems so he finds a trashy female who is bright eyed and bushy tailed, all ready to screw them hanging from the tress while the wife is at home exhausted from cleaning house and washing his filthy clothes. I think that when a man starts sleeping with some tramp, he should take his funky underwear with him. If she saw that before she accepted a date with the married man, none of the decent wives would have to worry about husband stealing bimbos. But, they don't do that. They let their wife wash their clothes and buy deodorant and send them out of the house all ready for the Gail Glenn's of the world to screw.

So, that's why I love the numerous first date idea. Almost all of them are on their best behavior on a first date. They like a woman who looks like she's having fun so when they find a woman having fun, they join in the fun and then take them home and buy them a house to clean and give them babies to take care of and then, they aren't so much fun anymore so they go looking for another fun woman to hang out with. So, if I just keep going on first dates, I'll always have fun.

I admit they're not all like that, you also have the henpecked variety who never really cheat, they aren't given enough time. They have a Honey-Do list every weekend. If they do get to have their friends over, the wife will embarrass the hell out of them.

If you have a normal, happy relationship that lasts for years and seems headed to one of those "til death do us part" marriages, they eventually go through that middle age crisis and begin working out, get hair transplants and (in Rick's case) begin a daily tooth brushing routine. Then, they must find a horny woman who makes them feel all studly and they take them into the back of their work van or to some cheap motel and cheat on the wife who is at home, thinking that she has a decent husband and a lovely marriage.

If I ever get married again, it will be to someone who enjoys doing lawn work and emptying the gutters around the house. He can have a big old scar all over his face and an arrest warrant pages long but I won't care. Just as long as on Saturday morning, he gets his ass out of bed before noon and starts working in the yard. Until I find one of them, I'm staying single. I'd rather die alone with a messed up yard than to leave a husband in a clean house surrounded by a messed up yard.

OK then. I guess it's time for me to go out back and start doing the work that my next husband ought to be doing. That damn fool is probably hiding from me until I get it all done by myself. There's a cold front coming in, it's supposed to get down into the 80's so I better take advantage of that weather and cut down more weeds.

See ya later!



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