A 21 year old female wrote to...
...Dear Abby to ask what she should tell her mother to do. Apparently, the mother is married to someone who isn't terribly interetested in sex and as a "hot blooded woman", the mother wants more of it. The brat said, "On the one hand, it's wrong to have an affair. But on the other hand, you only get one life, and I want her to be happy. Mom is a wonderful woman and deserves everything good in life, and I don't know what to tell her." The mother has met a man who wants to take her to bed. So, she thinks the mother should have an affair.
This is the type of thinking that irritates the hell out of me. Yeah, you only get one life. But the poor husband doesn't get anymore than one himself. He deserves to be happy as well. This nut couldn't find anything worse to say about the man than he isn't a sex maniac and therefore, the mother deserves to have an affair. By the way, "wonderful" women don't flirt with other men while they're married.
The horny woman should find a man with whom she can have sex all night, every night and let the husband find a woman who is happy to treat him well and have occasional sex.
People who want to do something that they admit is wrong will find a reason that they deserve to do it. Rick did the same thing and it makes me sick. I could justify robbing a bank, but I know it's wrong. Just because I WANT the money and NEED the money, it doesn't give me the right to steal the money.
Why don't people just leave when they feel the need to have an affair? Why would they stay in a relationship while secretly screwing someone else? They feel as though they deserve to do whatever it is they're doing but they never think about the fact that their spouse deserves the same. I have no idea how long Rick was screwing his bimbo...but I would have liked to have had the opportunity to find my own relationship. I will never know how many years Rick stole from me because he will never tell me the truth.
Even now, he won't tell me what happened. He has never admitted to having an affair...ever. We speak every week or so and we don't ever discuss anything that he ever did. I don't ask because I know he'll only lie and he certainly doesn't offer any honesty. To hear him talk, he does nothing but watch movies with his son and visit his father. He never stayed away from other women while he was married, I'm quite sure that he doesn't avoid them now.
I feel so badly for the husband here, he thinks his wife is being honest with him while she is actually flirting with another man and keeping her husband there just in case the new dude doesn't work out. That way, she won't have to worry about paying bills all by herself. Now the husband is nothing more than a safety net, there just in case she needs him, but she doesn't want him.
Of course, Abby suggested counseling. I doubt that will help. Counseling is for people who want to save their marriage. This woman obviously has already given up on hers. How many people are like her husband...sitting there thinking that they have a decent spouse when they really don't? Thank God I'm not in that situation anymore. Now, if only I can find a way to avoid letting it happen again.
Meg
...Dear Abby to ask what she should tell her mother to do. Apparently, the mother is married to someone who isn't terribly interetested in sex and as a "hot blooded woman", the mother wants more of it. The brat said, "On the one hand, it's wrong to have an affair. But on the other hand, you only get one life, and I want her to be happy. Mom is a wonderful woman and deserves everything good in life, and I don't know what to tell her." The mother has met a man who wants to take her to bed. So, she thinks the mother should have an affair.
This is the type of thinking that irritates the hell out of me. Yeah, you only get one life. But the poor husband doesn't get anymore than one himself. He deserves to be happy as well. This nut couldn't find anything worse to say about the man than he isn't a sex maniac and therefore, the mother deserves to have an affair. By the way, "wonderful" women don't flirt with other men while they're married.
The horny woman should find a man with whom she can have sex all night, every night and let the husband find a woman who is happy to treat him well and have occasional sex.
People who want to do something that they admit is wrong will find a reason that they deserve to do it. Rick did the same thing and it makes me sick. I could justify robbing a bank, but I know it's wrong. Just because I WANT the money and NEED the money, it doesn't give me the right to steal the money.
Why don't people just leave when they feel the need to have an affair? Why would they stay in a relationship while secretly screwing someone else? They feel as though they deserve to do whatever it is they're doing but they never think about the fact that their spouse deserves the same. I have no idea how long Rick was screwing his bimbo...but I would have liked to have had the opportunity to find my own relationship. I will never know how many years Rick stole from me because he will never tell me the truth.
Even now, he won't tell me what happened. He has never admitted to having an affair...ever. We speak every week or so and we don't ever discuss anything that he ever did. I don't ask because I know he'll only lie and he certainly doesn't offer any honesty. To hear him talk, he does nothing but watch movies with his son and visit his father. He never stayed away from other women while he was married, I'm quite sure that he doesn't avoid them now.
I feel so badly for the husband here, he thinks his wife is being honest with him while she is actually flirting with another man and keeping her husband there just in case the new dude doesn't work out. That way, she won't have to worry about paying bills all by herself. Now the husband is nothing more than a safety net, there just in case she needs him, but she doesn't want him.
Of course, Abby suggested counseling. I doubt that will help. Counseling is for people who want to save their marriage. This woman obviously has already given up on hers. How many people are like her husband...sitting there thinking that they have a decent spouse when they really don't? Thank God I'm not in that situation anymore. Now, if only I can find a way to avoid letting it happen again.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 11:31 AM
6 Comments:
I think Ive got it, my handle that is. As for this poor girl's mother, I think you couldnt bee any closer to the right attitude that you already are. However, that having been said, what should be done, I think, is that this lady needs to talk to her husband and tell him that she needs a little more of the "quality" time that she seeks. I go back to my whole America as a disposable society thing...dont dispose of this, talk it through ad you may be suprised what comes of it!
Radio
Of course you are right. I actually was thinking about that as I was writing the post and I should have said as much. Naturally, the woman should be discussing her feelings with her husband. Apparently, she has no problem discussing it with her daugher (which is entirely inappropriate, by the way). But, I assumed that if someone was so trashy that they would ever consider having an affair, the thought of working on the marriage would be lost on them. You're right, the marriage should be the first consideration. I was just making the point that when a person is having an afair, the person they're cheating on is missing the opportunity to have a life of their own. Although America has the cornered the market on immediate gratification, it isn't the only cpunrty to do so. Ireland has a law against divorce but (according to a book I read last week which was written 20 years ago) 20 per cent of all married people live outside of the marital home. Now that I think of it, France is pretty well known as a country of people who think little of extra-marital affairs. And, I may be a bit prejudiced here, but aren't the Mediterranian men pretty well known for having their cake and eating it too? I think that there are men who actually believe that they are entitled to have a wife at home and a woman on the side. My ex husband (the father of my kids) had a bit of the Madonna/Whore complex. He actually believed that men were allowed to stray but women were supposed to stay faithful. He even quoted Scripture to back that belief up. A funny aside...I went to the Donahue Show years ago and actually told Phil that my husband did that. Phil made quite a bit of fun of that and then, when everyone watched the show, my phone rang off the hook as in-laws called to ask "How could you do that to Markie?" My father got a HUGE laugh out of it.That taught me never to raise my hand at talk shows.
You are so right...people should work on their marriages. To not do so is to rob themselves of something wonderful and while they get what they deserve, the people they leave behind are robbed of the same thing. What a shame.
Meg
What do you think of a woman who has an abortion. My sisters best freind just had one and I think she should have given a baby up for adoption instead of murdering it. It makes me so mad to see women doing that. So what do you think of abortion?
I am pro-life. I would never have an abortion but I don't judge those who have. No one ever put me in charge and it isn't my job to judge other people. It's all I can do to keep myself on the straight and narrow.
Meg
After discovering my husband has been having an affair I have come to the conclusion that any woman that has an affaired with a married man must have the lowest of low self esteem. I wonder if it applies with men as well?
Found a great quote somewhere one day...In a promiscuous culture, a small percentage of men can monopolize sex with a majority of women - the Player
That's a great quote! Yeah, the low self esteem does it, but I think you're actually giving them too much credit. They don't have the capacity to think of themselves...they don't think at all. They simply scratch an itch and they use some bimbo to do it with.
You will NOT BELIEVE what I have just gotten in an email...stay tuned.
Meg
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