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Hi. I'm trying to think of another description to put here. Any ideas? I'll try again at 420.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Sorry to be so rare...

...but yesterday I felt like crap. I ran out of the Marinol and it had been working so well that I've gained about 10 pounds. I didn't want to keep gaining weight so I thought that I would do without it. I didn't realize how much it helped. After a few days of not taking it, I was not only not eating, I was blowing chunks whenever I even tried to eat. I guess I should keep on taking it for now.

I wouldn't mind gaining weight if it would go everywhere, but I only seem to gain it in my gut and not my legs so I end up looking like a water tower. That can't be. I'd rather be a skinny wench than a blob on two sticks.

Oh, and then there's the boobs. They're the first to go when I lose it and they seem to be the last place that I gain it. If I gained those ten pounds in my boobs, I'd be OK with it. I know that I lost about ten pounds from them when I lost all the weight, why can't they come back? The last time that I did stand up at The Punchline, I saw a bunch of other comics that I had become friends with. One of them commented on my "rack". Then he said, "Does that offend you?"

I replied, "I know I'm supposed to say yes, but to be honest, no...it doesn't offend me at all."

When I had those huge knockers, men did literally talk to them instead of to my face. So, those guys wouldn't recognize me if I ran into them again. They'd scan the boobs, realize that they don't know them and then they'd keep on walking. They may have seen itty bitty tittys like these before, but they wouldn't have made a mental note of whom they belonged to.

I can't imagine talking to a man's bulge. I may notice it, but I'd take a quick glance and then look away. I wouldn't be able to recognize a man from a picture of the bulge. I think that men can name a woman from just their boobs. I don't know why men put so much emphasis on tits. They have nothing to do with the actual "act" itself. We don't care how large their package is. And THAT does have something to do with the act.

Women know that size doesn't matter much. A great big engine won't run at all if you don't keep the piston's lubed. Now, I did meet one man who didn't have enough of a rod to oil my bearings...but he had to have been a fluke...it usually doesn't matter.

I guess it's just because men are such visual creatures. You know, I feel sorry for them. So many women do everything they can to appeal to a man's eyes, they wear short little things and low cut tops...they put on lipstick and big sacks of silicone in their chest and then they act offended if the men notice them. I don't get that. They go out of their way to look good to men and then when a man does notice, they cry about sexual harrassment.

They'll say that they're only dressing the way that THEY like to dress but why do they always like to dress in a way that just happens to appeal to precisely what men like in women? When I dress for myself, I dress in flannel pants, an over-sized t-shirt and sneakers, with no make-up and my hair back in a pony tail. Now THAT'S dressing for yourself.

About a year ago, I asked men what they thought of implants. NOT ONE said that they liked them. Every single man that answered responded that they preferred the real thing. I wouldn't have believed that if they didn't all say it, but 100% of the men said that. I am baffled about that, to say the least. Why would a woman have a hole stabbed in her armpit and then her chest muscles spread with a large metal tool and then have a doctor shove a baggy into their chest and fill it with salt water? If all of the men say they prefer the real thing, what's up with that?

I almost think the men have to be lying. I've never heard a woman say, "My life sucks since I had these sacks shoved into my boobs...men don't look at me anymore and my clothes all fit funny." They all talk about how much better life is for them so someone has to be pulling my leg.

Oh well, I have no reason to think that the men have changed their minds since last year and I certainly doubt that one would suddenly jump up and say, "OK, we were all lying last time, we really DO love those suckers!" (No pun intended)

I'll have to think about that for a while. Well then, I'm going to drink some coffee and try to wake up. I'll see you guys later!

Meg

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Meg :)

I love, Love, LOVE your site :)

Been reading here for a few weeks now. I'm going through a divorce. Well..just the initial stages. It's my second one so I know what I'm doing in this department - at least, I HOPE I do.

I hope to comment more often and perhaps even have a conversation or two with you at some point.

I have friends on the east coast there.

I'm a writer. Hope to talk more soon/later.

bye for now....

Di in Toronto

August 05, 2006  
Blogger Meg Kelso said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

August 05, 2006  
Blogger Meg Kelso said...

Hi Di!

Please do leave a comment here or there...I like signing on and finding them. Sorry about your divorce...unless of course it's what you want...then I'm pleased for you. Feel welcome to let me know what you think about anything I write, even if you disagree with me. I like to hear back from people who agree and disagree. It really does help me to know that I'm not the only nit wit going through all of this.

Nice to cyber-meet you!

Meg

August 05, 2006  

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