Alrighty then...
...I've been tagged again and that means that I don't have to come up with anything clever to talk about...I get to do a little blog chore thing. I have to tell you 9 things about myself.
Well, that'll be tough because I've pretty much told you guys everything that there is to tell but let's see if I can come up with 9 things that I've never told you before.
Now, I've read other people's lists and I must say, I'm not as sweet as most people. I won't be discussing AIDS Orphanages (although I AM a nurse...do I get humanity points for that?). But, if I think real, real hard...I should be able to come up with SOMETHING.
1. My senior year of high school, I was dating a pre-med student. I would visit him on the weekends and once when I was doing that, he left me alone in his room. I took his disecting kit and disected my Virginia Slims. Then, I took the guy's weed and packed my Virginia Slims with it. Later, during a floor party....I started smoking my "cigarettes". The doors were all opened and no one could tell where the pot smell was coming from. That was fun.
2. I dust incessantly...so much so that it annoys the other people in the room.
3. I interview myself. I find me fascinating, deep and well rounded.
4. When I was 15, I had a yellow bra. Somehow it broke and I tied my left boob up with orange yarn. I've NEVER told anyone that before.
5. I got my braces taken off the day that Patty Hearst was kidnapped....February 4th, 1974.
6. I have many socks. I have one huge drawer full of socks alone. I prefer knee highs, but I have numerous ankle high socks as well.
7. When I went to the hospital to have my daughter, my ex packed my suitcase. For some reason, he only packed me HIS underpants. I had to wear them for a day until he brought me some of my own.
8. Sometimes I turn up the music really loud and dance with my dog.
9. Once I did an entire research paper the night before it was due. I handed it in and expected a D...but I got a B. That was cool.
OK...what else would you like to know?
Meg
...I've been tagged again and that means that I don't have to come up with anything clever to talk about...I get to do a little blog chore thing. I have to tell you 9 things about myself.
Well, that'll be tough because I've pretty much told you guys everything that there is to tell but let's see if I can come up with 9 things that I've never told you before.
Now, I've read other people's lists and I must say, I'm not as sweet as most people. I won't be discussing AIDS Orphanages (although I AM a nurse...do I get humanity points for that?). But, if I think real, real hard...I should be able to come up with SOMETHING.
1. My senior year of high school, I was dating a pre-med student. I would visit him on the weekends and once when I was doing that, he left me alone in his room. I took his disecting kit and disected my Virginia Slims. Then, I took the guy's weed and packed my Virginia Slims with it. Later, during a floor party....I started smoking my "cigarettes". The doors were all opened and no one could tell where the pot smell was coming from. That was fun.
2. I dust incessantly...so much so that it annoys the other people in the room.
3. I interview myself. I find me fascinating, deep and well rounded.
4. When I was 15, I had a yellow bra. Somehow it broke and I tied my left boob up with orange yarn. I've NEVER told anyone that before.
5. I got my braces taken off the day that Patty Hearst was kidnapped....February 4th, 1974.
6. I have many socks. I have one huge drawer full of socks alone. I prefer knee highs, but I have numerous ankle high socks as well.
7. When I went to the hospital to have my daughter, my ex packed my suitcase. For some reason, he only packed me HIS underpants. I had to wear them for a day until he brought me some of my own.
8. Sometimes I turn up the music really loud and dance with my dog.
9. Once I did an entire research paper the night before it was due. I handed it in and expected a D...but I got a B. That was cool.
OK...what else would you like to know?
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 8:52 PM
8 Comments:
OK Meg....now I want you to write one on behalf of the mistresses in the world.
Write it about the wopigs of the world. Come up with 9 things about mistresses.
Can't wait to read it!
Hee Haw!!!
Well then girlie girl,
You shan't have to wait any longer.
Ya see, there's a wopig I know who stole my sister's husband about ten years ago. And she wanted to play the game too so meet Amber the Slut!
Hi ya'll! I'm Amber the Slut. I hear tell you folks wants to know 9 things about me. Well, I could go on and on about me and my conquests...but I'll try to narrow them down to 9 for you:
1. Once, I tried to screw a married man and he turned me down. It was devastating. I offerred blow jobs and butt fucking....but this fool wouldn't budge. He kept saying something stupid like, "I love my wife." I did all I could, I called their house at all hours of the night and day...I slashed the wife's tires and I even tried to get them to come on my favorite show with me....Jerry Springer. I don't admit this often.
2. My boobs are fake. I made them myself. Yeah, guys are a bit disappointed at first, but when I tell them I'm easy...they still do me!
3. I've had 4 kids by 3 different men...so far!
4. In my heyday, I had 6 different men paying me child support for the same kid! Then one of them got wise and forced me into court, we had to get DNA tests, I was miserable. The hard thing was I didn't really know which one of them WAS my baby's daddy!
5. On a good weekend night, I can tease my hair up over 6 inches above my skull. I AM the queen of big hair!
5. I get most of my men by offering to trim their mullet's for them.
6. I have a dream...I want to bring back bright blue eye shadow.
7. I may not shower everyday...but I always wash my pussy before I leave a married man's house no matter how soon his wife will be home. I have class!
8. The picture on my dating profile was taken 15 years and 58 pounds ago.
9. OK, for my most fantabulous secret...when I can't find a married man to screw, I call up one of those phone service dating lines and invite a man that I don't know over to my place. I turn off all of the lights and leave the back door open. It leads right into my back porch where I am waiting, naked, in my hot tub. I tell him to leave the lights off, take off his clothes and climb in the water and do me. Then, I like for them to leave, without saying a word, the same way they came in. It may not be true romance...but it does get me laid! Sometimes I'm lucky and they leave their wallet. Then, I get their phone number and stalk them for months!
Now, if they're is anything else you'd like to know, you'll have to wait until the weekend's over. I have 7 men lined up over the next 3 days and I need to do them all and find time to do the pussy wash before the next one comes over. I think I may even wash the towel this weekend!
Amber the Slut
OMG Meg! I am cackling like you would not believe.
That was so worth the wait!
Well Done!
I spat my champagne out when I read point number three. Do you know my husband's mistress?
If my husband's mistress' pregnancy was real then that was her!
I am laughing my ass off!
Is all that true? Would I tell a lie? Or would I disguise the truth about myself by writing a long, involved blog...when all along I am actually...Amber the Slut and the shit about the hot tub is how I spend my Tuesdays.
:)
Number #4 is funny! :D
Number #6 ... something about a naked woman wearing knee socks is ... well... Yum!
Ahem! I'm fine. Gotta take a cold shower, but otherwise ... fine!
LOLOL...and #4 is true. I had two yellow bras and I don't know why.
I remember that orange yarn holding my bra together. I could get away with that crap because I was a virgin and I had no sex in the foreseeable future.
Meg
Uh...NAKED woman wearing knee highs? I just caught that. Well, if I put my socks on before the rest of my clothes, that could happen. But my panties would be on almost immediately.
Meg
Hey girl,
I didn't take anything you said as offensive, you're fine. No apology needed at all. Love ya girl! Glad you're back!
Ciao,
Meg
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