I doubt that I’ll EVER understand men…
…and I think I’ll just stop trying. The one that I’ve been sleeping with lately knows about this blog so I was trying to be a bit reserved about our sexcapades…out of respect for him. But he just flabbergasted me by asking me why I never mentioned our high jinks on the blog. I told him that I thought he would be unnerved by that and he said that he's been reading this thing everyday EXPECTING me to bring him up (no pun intended).
He actually said that it turns him on when I do mention him so I guess it would really, really get to him if I discussed him and what we’ve been up to. Well, we’ve been up to quite a bit, sort of. I don’t even know if I have it in me to tell you everything we do but I guess that from now on…I’ll have to take notes.
But, for now I suppose I should start with last night. He came over to watch the Cubs game with me. We ordered Chinese food and we sat in the living room eating General Tso’s Chicken, pork fried rice and a Pu Pu platter. The game started and after we were totally stuffed with egg rolls and other goodies…there was a rain delay. So, we did what any other couple would have done under similar circumstances…we sat there on the couch making out like a huge meteor was headed straight for earth.
After a while the rain delay started taking a while and it occurred to us that my son could walk in on us at any moment so we took our little party into the bedroom. I put ESPN on because if the game started again, I WAS going to watch it. We sat on the bed and chatted for a few minutes and while we were doing that, I sort of laid down on my side with my head on my hand and when I did that, he did it too. Our faces were inches apart so it didn’t take long before we went back to lip lock mode.
Each of our hands went on their own little exploratory missions and eventually, mine found the fly to his pants. I did the quick little “What have we here?” thing…snap, button or hook and eye? I recognized the feel of a button so I pulled one side of his pants a bit so that I could easily break through that little barrier. After that, the zipper was easy. He started to help me a bit and my foot found it’s way up to the crotch of his pants and pulled them the rest of the way down and off they went. He did the same with my pants only without the foot thing. By that time he had already unbuttoned two of the buttons of my top so I undid the rest of them and he went back to kissing me.
I wasn’t about to carry on with him wearing a shirt so I took that sucker off. Making out the entire time…I was doing what I should have been doing and he was doing the same…we were both preparing each other for the inevitable. Everything was going just fine and dandy…talk about your lollies!
When I was sure that everything was set up just perfectly…I pulled him on top of me. Now…at this point I should mention that this guy adores the fact that I’m so honest about everything so I’m sure that he wouldn’t like it if I lied. And I am absolutely POSITIVE that you guys wouldn’t want me to be anything less than honest so I have to tell you exactly what happened. He began to cross the threshold…and when he was about halfway in…he said, “Uh oh!”
I figured that one of us should have a good time so I grabbed his ass with my hands and pulled. Within ten seconds…he was done. He apologized and then we decided to open the fortune cookies.
The game never restarted and the “act” was never really finished.
Woops.
…and I think I’ll just stop trying. The one that I’ve been sleeping with lately knows about this blog so I was trying to be a bit reserved about our sexcapades…out of respect for him. But he just flabbergasted me by asking me why I never mentioned our high jinks on the blog. I told him that I thought he would be unnerved by that and he said that he's been reading this thing everyday EXPECTING me to bring him up (no pun intended).
He actually said that it turns him on when I do mention him so I guess it would really, really get to him if I discussed him and what we’ve been up to. Well, we’ve been up to quite a bit, sort of. I don’t even know if I have it in me to tell you everything we do but I guess that from now on…I’ll have to take notes.
But, for now I suppose I should start with last night. He came over to watch the Cubs game with me. We ordered Chinese food and we sat in the living room eating General Tso’s Chicken, pork fried rice and a Pu Pu platter. The game started and after we were totally stuffed with egg rolls and other goodies…there was a rain delay. So, we did what any other couple would have done under similar circumstances…we sat there on the couch making out like a huge meteor was headed straight for earth.
After a while the rain delay started taking a while and it occurred to us that my son could walk in on us at any moment so we took our little party into the bedroom. I put ESPN on because if the game started again, I WAS going to watch it. We sat on the bed and chatted for a few minutes and while we were doing that, I sort of laid down on my side with my head on my hand and when I did that, he did it too. Our faces were inches apart so it didn’t take long before we went back to lip lock mode.
Each of our hands went on their own little exploratory missions and eventually, mine found the fly to his pants. I did the quick little “What have we here?” thing…snap, button or hook and eye? I recognized the feel of a button so I pulled one side of his pants a bit so that I could easily break through that little barrier. After that, the zipper was easy. He started to help me a bit and my foot found it’s way up to the crotch of his pants and pulled them the rest of the way down and off they went. He did the same with my pants only without the foot thing. By that time he had already unbuttoned two of the buttons of my top so I undid the rest of them and he went back to kissing me.
I wasn’t about to carry on with him wearing a shirt so I took that sucker off. Making out the entire time…I was doing what I should have been doing and he was doing the same…we were both preparing each other for the inevitable. Everything was going just fine and dandy…talk about your lollies!
When I was sure that everything was set up just perfectly…I pulled him on top of me. Now…at this point I should mention that this guy adores the fact that I’m so honest about everything so I’m sure that he wouldn’t like it if I lied. And I am absolutely POSITIVE that you guys wouldn’t want me to be anything less than honest so I have to tell you exactly what happened. He began to cross the threshold…and when he was about halfway in…he said, “Uh oh!”
I figured that one of us should have a good time so I grabbed his ass with my hands and pulled. Within ten seconds…he was done. He apologized and then we decided to open the fortune cookies.
The game never restarted and the “act” was never really finished.
Woops.
posted by Meg Kelso | 12:07 PM
1 Comments:
Freakoid,
You shouldn't have come straight here from Limerick's blog..I gotcha now.
:):):)
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