IF DEAR ABBY WAS A BITCH...

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a wonderful man for two years. We're talking about marriage, but there is a problem. He has his ex's name tattooed on his backside and it's starting to bother me. I offered to pay to have it removed, but he doesn't want it off. Do I stay with him and try to get over it, or break up with him and find someone else? Help me! -- REALLY CONFUSED GIRL IN COLORADO


AND ABBY SAID...


DEAR REALLY CONFUSED: Removing a tattoo can be expensive, time-consuming and painful. If the only deal-breaker in your relationship is the tattoo, consider asking him to turn the other cheek and have your name placed opposite his ex's so you will have equal billing. A large "X" could be inked over the ex's name if it would make you feel better.




I SAY...


Confused chick: First of all, only psychos ask other people to have their own names tattooed ANYWHERE on a body. Asking a man to tat your name on his ass is more than creepy. And if you tell him to tattoo a huge X over other tats, you deserve to have him tattoo you out of his life. 


Secondly, how old are you...14? It's only ink, you immature bat case. Leave it alone, that guy only knows the name is there when YOU bring it up or HE checks out his OWN naked ass. Keep it up if you'd like, but you should know that there are women who are too secure to be bothered by an old ass tat. Most men like that type of security in a woman.


DEAR ABBY: There is a segment of the population that I have not seen you address. It's the many women whose dreams of marriage and children never came true.

Society gives so much attention to women who are pregnant and have children. It is very difficult for us to hear people brag on and on about their children and pass around their pictures.

People need to develop sensitivity for those like me, who prayed 25 years for marriage and children, but who didn't get this "gift from God." -- ALONE IN THE NORTHWEST

AND ABBY SAID...

DEAR ALONE: Parents bragging about their children and showing off pictures are natural reactions to having offspring. It is not meant to punish the childless.

There are thousands of children who desperately need the attention and affection you long to bestow, so please consider becoming an adoptive or foster parent, or volunteer with an organization such as Big Brothers/Big Sisters of America. The website is www.bbbs.org. Join the ranks and you, too, can experience the joys of rearing children and bragging as you show off your pictures.

I SAY...

Perhaps your bitterness is standing in your way.

DEAR ABBY: The letters that have appeared in your column about safe driving prompt this one. I hope you will consider my experience worth sharing.
I have poor depth perception. I make adjustments for this problem and check the distance between me and the car in front of me by looking at the distance on the road and not at the car.
I began to notice that the cars coming at me were "fuzzy" and that I had to close one eye to have a clear image of them. Then I realized I was doing the same thing while watching television. I mentioned it to my optometrist, and she checked my eyes and found that I had double vision. The adjustment to my prescription was so slight that you would not notice it, but I can now see clearly with my new glasses. -- CLEARLY FOCUSED IN MINNESOTA

AND ABBY SAID...

DEAR CLEARLY FOCUSED: Your letter was an eye-opener. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to remind readers to have their vision checked every year -- and to report any changes in vision to the doctor immediately.

I SAY...

Really? You had vision problems and then you went to an eye doctor who gave you glasses that fixed the vision problems? Let me know when a podiatrist cures your ingrown toenail.