The view from my pillow

This is what I see when I'm lying on my bed. The box behind the lap-top is my birthday present, a webcam. It took so long to figure out how to take a picture that this is the best I could do before I fell asleep. The wood slats above me are the slats that used to sag and creak every time the chick on top would roll over. She's a big girl and I spent more than one night wondering if that would be the night the bed fell on me.

I have a riddle for you. Now, if you took sugar and put it in hot water, you would get sugar water. The sugar would dissolve and you wouldn't be able to see it anymore. The same thing would happen if you put coffee whitener in hot water only you would end up with a milky looking substance...still liquid, but milky. Also, if you put instant coffee in the hot water, you would get coffee. Darker yet, but still a liquid. How come if you put all three, sugar, coffee white and instant coffee, together...you get some funky looking, non-soluble scum on the top of the liquid? It's a scum that attaches to every part of the cup it touches so you end up with scummy "coffee"?

As Lobo once pondered, "These are the things that bother me...not a lot of things across some sea." I've also been baffled by the fact that you can combine mustard and honey to make honey-mustard...but the end product is thinnner in consistency than either of the 2 ingredients.(When I use the worde 'either', read EE-ther.) That one fact has vexed me often over the decades. I never cared enough to set up a laboratory to test my curiositys scientifically, but it does vex me, nevertheless.

Other things vex me, like the fact that the trial, of which I am a witness, has been set for September. I don't know why they would put it off so long when they know that it's the only reason I'm even here in the first place. I could be homeless in any state I choose. All I'd have to do is get there. I could be homeless near my sons and friends in Georgia. I could be homeless near my wonderful daughter and grandson in California. I could even be homeless where I grew up, the suburbs of Chicago. I have friends and family there, as well. I could even throw a dart and hit a place that isn't as hot as Florida and be homeless there. The one place I DON'T want to be is Tampa and that's where I am. Now they say they want me to wait until September? I barely made it through this last month. I did a fine job, I'm still here and that has to count for something. But I can't get mail and I can't seem to get to appointments because I don't know where I am, much less where the appointments are. In about 6 other cities in this country, I know my way around enough to avail myself of certain things, like doctors and the like.

I've considered a few different options and no matter how I do the math, my best chances are NOT here. Now, that's thinking selfishly, of course. But if I can't take care of myself, I certainly am useless to anyone else. Do you know that I have a son who won't speak to me because of all the "drama" involved? I sure as hell didn't order the HellaDrama life but I was served at the drive-in and they screwed it all up.

Maybe I should take the selfish route. If I had done that before, I wouldn't have a son who could cause me so much pain.

It's my daughter alone who has stood by me. She and her little family have given me the strength to go this far...can you imagine how far I could get if I had the support of my entire family? Think of me when your own family irritates you...Karma is a good thing too. Unconditional love is a very, very good thing...like a trampoline, you can use it to jump higher and higher, especially if you have spotters along the way. A good spotter is there just in case you do something stupid. They don't run when they see you falling.

By the way, I( had to come back to add something that I shouldn't have forgotten in the first place. Well, I didn't totally forget, I just forgot long enough to not include it before I posted this. Does that make sense? Anyway, I have to add my blog buddies who are out there. You guys have helped me so much and in ways I didn't expect. If it weren't for the fact that I was able to pull up my PayPal account to show someone what kind of support I DO have out there, I wouldn't be doing as well as I am now. Whoda thunk that you guys would be a credit check in the friend department? I'll never forget that, or the people out there who silently send me good thoughts.

As I typed that last sentence, some asshole lit off a firecracker. I asked him where he got it and he told me all about the store that sells them. I sure am glad I didn't donate to his morning pan-handle scam.