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Hi. I'm trying to think of another description to put here. Any ideas? I'll try again at 420.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Dear Meg,

"...so could you tell us who your dating? I'm curious and I wonder when you talk about your boyfriend..."

Well, I've decided that it's easier just to refer to them ALL as "my boyfriend". It seems to be the smart thing to do...at first glance anyway. I can always say "my boyfriend", never use a name and then...if I'm found out, I can say, "I was talking about you!" to whomever I need to say that. I might have a problem explaining away certain details on certain days but basically, I'm a good girl, I am. So, not a problem here.

Right now there is only one guy but, as most women will, I keep a couple on the shelf just in case. Yep...a man for every purpose and a purpose for every man. Between that and the fact that there are so many men and so little time, I have my work cut out for me.

It's a shame that a woman can't make a decent wage dating. Not all of us can get an offer like Redford's in Indecent Proposal. I doubt that I could command a million, but I bet I could get fifty bucks twenty thousand times. But...that's not only a major social faus paz, it's illegal. That's another one of those crimes that I don't understand.

I can go out and screw 5 men in one night and do it BLATANTLY. But, should I take a few bucks from one of those men, I could end up in the slammer. I can GIVE it away all day and all night...but I can't take a dollar for it.

I could take jewelry, clothing and vacations...that's OK. But let one guy give me cash and I have crossed the line. I don't have a dog in that particular fight so I don't really care too much one way or another. It's just that it's one more of those stupid laws like the criminalization of marijuana while alcohol is legal. They're laws that I have no problem obeying, but I find them hypocritical in their inception.

Right now, I'm not getting much in the way of the things that I just listed...dating a regular guy, you know...not a rich one. But, he makes me laugh and that's pretty darned important. Not like Rick made me laugh...by referring to Pensacola as Pepsi-Cola and thinking that's the proper pronunciation. This one makes me laugh with a quick wit and a caustic nature which works just fine in combination with my charming self.

I think I'll try to get him into my training class this weekend...the Man Molding Class that I'm offering for free. I hope he has a ladder. I tried to mow my own fricking grass and I couldn't start the stupid lawn mower. It did start one time but died out and never started again. Why do you guys make things so difficult for us to operate? If you made it easier for us, maybe we'd mow the lawn more often. You made it easier for yourselves by making riding lawn mowers, you could help us out a bit by making one that has push button starting. (I'll work on the riding vacuum myself.)

I don't know why you guys create things that are so hard to use. I guess it's like "Quien es mas macho." and you can't help yourselves. That's why no man can leave a pickle jar without applying far, far more torque than is necessary when he shuts the damn jar. We can NEVER get them opened after that.

Anyway, I have to take the hedge trimmers that I bought back to Lowe's. They stopped working. They didn't jam or anything...I was trimming hedges one minute and holding a big, useless tool in my hand the next. So, I have to take that back and bitch enough to at least get an exchange. That shouldn't be too tough...I only used the dumb thing twice before it died.

Well, it's the middle of the night so I guess I'll go to bed and listen to an old movie. I fixed my bed up all nice and comfortable. I have EVERY pillow in the house to myself now so I have them all on the bed. I'd rather have a man, but it's nice to know that there's a 100 pound dog on both sides of my bed as I sleep. No one is getting near me with those two monsters guarding me like they do. They've already gone into the bedroom so I guess they're trying to tell me something. I guess I'll go to sleep now. See you in the morning!



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