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Hi. I'm trying to think of another description to put here. Any ideas? I'll try again at 420.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Here is a direct quote...

...from a woman who's husband is cheating on her:

"I don't know how I let this happen. What did I do wrong?"

What is it about women that make us believe that we are responsible for the actions of a person who has absolutely no scruples? Why does every woman who is cheated upon rack her brain trying to figure out what "she did wrong"? I don't know. But, I do know that we are NOT responsible for the actions of a cowardly man who has neither the honor to work on a rocky marriage nor the decency to tell his wife that he wants a divorce.

People have many excuses for why they cheat...they tell themselves that they have the right to cheat because the person at home is lacking in some way. Coincidentally, the problems in the marriage begin about the same time that they meet a person that they would like to screw.

Whenever I would ask if Rick was happy with me, he would say that he was. He said that because there was nothing wrong. But, when he met a bimbo who didn't mind screwing around with a married man, his weak constitution chose to find countless reasons why his marriage was over and his wife didn't understand him and he deserved a piece of ass from a skank named Gail Glenn.

Our marriage was good enough for him when no other woman wanted his fat, bald self. But, when he found himself getting laid in a trailer park, suddenly I was a rotten wife and nothing that I could do was good enough. I didn't change, he didn't change, the marriage didn't change, all was as it had been for over 20 years. The only thing new was the bimbo. I had no control over either one of them so when they wanted to start humping each other, I was the evil woman keeping them from acting like a dog in heat and a dog in general.

When a married bum wants to get laid, they will do what they have to do to get the nut that they seek. They know in their heads that they are married and shouldn't do such things. So, in order to be able to carry on and act like a couple of dogs, they have to tell themselves how much they deserve to act like dogs. Unfortunately, that means that they have to accuse an innocent spouse of whatever they can come up with so that they can live with themselves.

When Rick met Gail Glenn, he told me all the rotten things that I had done over the years. Now, he never complained before. There was no conversation where he said, "Meg, we need to talk....I need more....(whatever)". He didn't have the balls for that. So, when he met the bimbo, he had to tell himself something and when he did, he also told me. He told me all the things that I was doing wrong and that if I would simply stop doing these things, he would stay in the marriage. He set those hoops higher and higher and like an idiot, I jumped through each and every one of them. I didn't know that he had no intentions of staying. I didn't know that he was just setting the hoops so high that he could say, "See? I told you so." And then, he could carry on with what he really wanted...screwing whatever would spread it's legs for him.

It took a while for me to figure that out and now it makes me so angry that I fell for it. But, since I did figure it out, it bothers me to see another woman saying the thing that I said, "What did I do wrong?" Neither she nor I did anything wrong. We simply existed when we were nothing but impediments to our husband's ability to hump tramps.

The upside of this is that once the marriage is over and the woman gets on with her life, she is grateful for the opportunity to find an honorable man who doesn’t lie, cheat and inflict pain upon her. There IS life after deception...but the funny thing is that one day you finally realize that there really WASN’T any life before it.

Meg

6 Comments:

Blogger SolarisGal said...

*runs to Meg**

Did you see that - did you see that??!! Emily's husband had bought new Calvin Klein underwear!!

July 14, 2006  
Blogger Meg said...

LOLOLOLOL...yep, a piece of evidence that should convict ANY man of adultery. How predictable can they be? Rick bought an outfit on his own. I imagine he thought it was "styling"...but trust me, he should have kept to the clothes that I bought for him.

Meg

July 14, 2006  
Blogger shattered said...

That comment is so sad! I have recently discovered my husband was having an affair but never have I blamed myself for his choices to step outside the boundaries of our marriage.

I am still with my husband trying to work through the issues, but he is certainly not copping out either.

July 15, 2006  
Blogger Meg said...

shattered,

Yeah, it is very sad. And it's made even sadder by what a woman feels in her heart when she feels responsible for an affair. A perfectly good woman, who was betrayed by the man who promised to love her forever is left to wonder what she did wrong when in reality, she did nothing wrong and there isn't an answer to the question that she keeps asking herself over and over again. And she feels worthless, confused and hurt. The cheater will say things like mine did, "You're doing it to yourself." when they've been out screwing around on a faithful woman. Somehow, our fragile self esteem crumbles a little more everytime we wonder what we did wrong. Then, after he damages the one woman to whom he owes his loyalty, he tells her, "You're too insecure for me." A man who wouldn't so much as be rude to a stranger, all of a sudden becomes so cruel to his wife that she wonders what she can do to fix everything. But she has no clue why he is being so cruel so she has no place to begin working from. He can't tell her the truth, that might place some blame on him and he would much rather watch his wife suffer than to admit the truth to himself, her or anyone else for that matter.

I wish you all the luck in the world in working on your marriage. The odds are against you but if your husband can find it in his heart to be honest...and if you can find it in your heart to forgive, it is possible to survive this. But without honesty, there truly is no hope. So if he DOES decide to be honest, allow him to do so. It'll hurt, but the quicker that the truth is known by all, the quicker you can get past the problems that you face. That's one lesson that Rick refused to learn.

Meg

July 15, 2006  
Blogger Sean said...

"Unfortunately, that means that they have to accuse an innocent spouse of whatever they can come up with so that they can live with themselves."

-Really hits home. Couldn't have said it better myself.

July 18, 2006  
Blogger Meg said...

Ain't it a bitch? Sorry that you even understand that awful "sentiment". It's a horrible place from which to mount a defense.

Meg

July 18, 2006  

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