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Hi. I'm trying to think of another description to put here. Any ideas? I'll try again at 420.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Well, now what do I do?

I've been psyching myself up for jail for so long that now I don't have a thing to do. I cleaned the house to be sure that I didn't leave a mess. The bills that I can pay are paid. I ate like a pig last night....something I haven't done for years. I guess the combination of the Marinol and the lack of jail concerns combined to make a pig out of me. That damn Marinol sure the heck does work.

It doesn't have much THC in it, apparently. Judging from the test that I took yesterday, it barely registered at all. The PO said that she was told once that Marinol would only cause a positive reading if you took too much of it. I haven't taken any more than I'm supposed to. It certainly doesn't get you high, I don't even know that I've taken it. I suppose you could eat the entire bottle and get a buzz, but one pill twice a day doesn't do a thing except make me hungry.

So, I'm now able to freely test positive for almost every damn test that the probation office tests for. The only thing left are the stimulants and if I keep eating like I did last night, I'll have to find a doctor to fix THAT as well. I doubt that would happen, I have 30 pounds to go before I would worry about that and I'll stop taking the Marinol long before that happens.

Someone wrote to me to endorse the comment that I made about men over 40 being able to get down and stay there. Rick had me convinced that all men his age needed his daily dose of Mycoxaflopin to have ANY fun at all. It's nice to know that this is possible. I won't be letting anyone else slack in that arena again.

Did you guys hear about the fat dude who offered to mow lawns for free to help lose weight? Why don't any men like that live down here? I could keep one in great shape. Damn, I'd get his ass toned up in a week. By the way, if there are any men out there who'd like to attend my training class, just email me at megbkelso@gmail.com. I will get you in shape within two months for nothing. All you have to do is attend my clinic on weekends and before you know it, you'll be a lean, mean lawn-mowing machine.

Yep, that's a good idea. I'm out there working in my dojo anyway, I might as well help humanity and give a bit back to the community. So, just show up for the free classes and we'll all be happy. Oh, if you can, bring a ladder. I can't figure out a way to get on my roof without one and the gutters need cleaning out.

You know, there could be indoor classes as well. I never did finish painting my living room. The color is close enough to the old color to be tolerable but that's a bad thing. It just makes me procrastinate about buying more paint. And that's a STUPID thing because now, by the time I do get more paint, there will still be 2 colors, the old paint and the paint I put on 6 months later. So, the entire living room needs painting...I would think. So, there will be some severe weather training as well.

Damn, I'm thinking of all sorts of seminars that I could put on for the truly inspired and motivated man, the man who wants to be ready to kiss the ass of any bitch in this country...I'll train you well. You heard that the fat dude got a bunch of offers for dates didn't you? That's because we women appreciate a man who will do a bunch of crappy work for nothing. Can you imagine the other things he might do for nothing?

Trust me, after the first month, women will be wanting to cook you lunch on Saturdays, just to see what you do when you finish eating.

OK then, Meg's Man Molding could have you ready for the most hen-pecking female that you could possibly come across. After graduation, you could go on to marry someone who can continue the training or you could just attend for the shear challenge of it. Anyway, it's obvious that I'm about as helpless a female as you could ever meet so trust me, I have a bunch of shit that needs to be done so the topics of each class would be different. You'll get training as an electrician, landscaper, painter dude, carpenter, mechanic, computer technician and all around strength training as I come up with new and interesting ways to make you exercise each and every muscle group that you have. And, I went to college for that stuff...I know muscles. I would be such a motivated instructor, too. Tony Robbins would have nothing on me as far as that goes. I am so motivated to put men to work and sit back and watch that I'm drooling over the prospect of it all.

Alrighty then, now I have a new plan. Cool.



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