Yes...the doctors ARE selling cigarettes
And so are Fred and Barney:
And why not...it's just so damned KOOOOOL!
Hi. I'm trying to think of another description to put here. Any ideas? I'll try again at 420.
And so are Fred and Barney:
And why not...it's just so damned KOOOOOL!
"...Theologically," Cone affirms, "Malcolm X was not far wrong when he called the white man 'the devil.'" The false Christianity of the white-devil oppressor must be replaced by an authentic Christianity fully identified with the poor and oppressed..."
Excerpt from the BLT Mission Statement:
"...We are called out to be "a chosen people" that pays no attention to socio-economic or educational backgrounds. We are made up of the highly educated and the uneducated. Our congregation is a combination of the haves and the have-nots; the economically disadvantaged, the under-class, the unemployed and the employable. The fortunate who are among us combine forces with the less fortunate to become agents of change for God who is not pleased with America’s economic mal-distribution!..."
"These people are a part of me. And they are part of America, this country that I love.."
-Barack Obama (speaking of his fellow BLT parishoners)
"Hillary wants to mandate universal health care coverage but she is not garnishing peoples' wages to make sure they have it!"
Oh goody. Maybe Obama can garnish my wages to pay for therapy. After all:
"...You go into these small towns in Pennsylvania and, like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing’s replaced them. And they fell through the Clinton administration, and the Bush administration, and each successive administration has said that somehow these communities are going to regenerate and they have not..."
Yeah, I bet he's right about the administration that succeeds Bush. I'm glad to hear they put Pennsylvania back.
"...We have real enemies in the world. These enemies must be found. They must be pursued and they must be defeated..."
Well, I'm inspired, where do I sign up to fight for that General? I like the way he thinks.
"...On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes -- and I see many of them in the audience here today -- our sense of patriotism is particularly strong..."
Maybe the they just want you to help them. I would think that you could use the votes.
“And of course they’re bitter. Of course they’re frustrated,” Obama told supporters. “You would be too — in fact many of you are, because the same thing has happened here in Indiana. … Nobody is thinking about you...it’s not surprising then they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations...”
Don't hold back Obie...tell us what you really think of us. Antipathy to those not like them? Is that...racism? Did Obama just call me racist?
"...If you’re walking down the right path and you’re willing to keep walking, eventually you’ll make progress..."
Then why have I been walking in a straight line for an hour and yet I'm still at the same spot from which I began. I guess "I'll just keep walking".
"We cannot solve the problems of America if every time somebody somewhere says something stupid that we all get up in arms and we forget about the war in Iraq or we forget about the economy. ... I don't want that kind of politics. I want the kind of politics that gets stuff done."
"Pot had helped, and booze; maybe a little blow when you could afford it. Not smack, though,"
Hell no...smack is whack.
"...I cannot swallow whole the view of Lincoln as the Great Emancipator..."
Sure you can, kick it back with a shot of bourbon and a doobie.
"...I've got two daughters. 9 years old and 6 years old. I am going to teach them first of all about values and morals. But if they make a mistake, I don't want them punished with a baby..."
I was "punished" with three children. I'm just not quite sure what I did to deserve them. Ooh, what did YOU do to deserve YOUR kids? Enquiring minds want to know.
"...Huh. It works. It makes sense."
Huh. Uh uh (she said as she shook her head from left to right to signal, "NOOOOO! It doesn't. It really, really doesn't.)
"...This budget tells our veterans that if they want increased funding for the VA they’ll have to pay for it themselves..."
For some reason, that comment made me laugh out loud. I can't even verbalize why. It just did.
"...Issues are never simple. One thing I'm proud of is that very rarely will you hear me simplify the issues..."
Oh no...God forbid.
"John Kerry believes in an America where hard work is rewarded."
"Come on! I just answered, like, eight questions."
I think you were like, serious about the John Kerry comment."...My pastor did say, my former pastor, said some very objectionable things when I was not in church on those particular days..."
"My parents...would give me an African name, Barack, or blessed, believing that in a tolerant America your name is no barrier to success."
Maybe they were pulling a Johnny Cash, Barrack Hussein.
"...The fact that my 15 minutes of fame has extended a little longer than 15 minutes is somewhat surprising to me and completely baffling to my wife..."
Uh...where do I begin?
"..We need to internalize this idea of excellence. Not many folks spend a lot of time trying to be excellent..."
And life is like a box of chocolates.
"...We worship an awesome God in the Blue States, and we don't like federal agents poking around our libraries in the Red States. We coach Little League in the Blue States and have gay friends in the Red States..."
"...When we think of the major threats to our national security, the first to come to mind are nuclear proliferation, rogue states and global terrorism. But another kind of threat lurks beyond our shores, one from nature, not humans - an avian flu pandemic..."
I have to give it to him, nukes, Iran and terrorism DO come to mind when I think of threats.
"...You know, my faith is one that admits some doubt..."
Not mine. You duuuuumb, ain't NOOOOO doubt.
“When people tell me they’ve all stressed about racial discord, well, you know, try slavery for a while.”
Tell us more slave dude!
“...I would like somebody who knows about a bunch of stuff that I’m not as expert on..."
When Senator Clinton brags ‘I’ve met leaders from eighty countries’–I know what those trips are like! I’ve been on them. You go from the airport to the embassy. There’s a group of children who do a native dance.
Did they have bones in their noses?
“...I traveled to Pakistan when I was in college–I knew what Sunni and Shia was [sic] before I joined the Senate Foreign relations committee..."
Did you take a course in economics too? I sure as hell hope so.
"...one of the obvious high priorities in my talks with President Hugo Chavez would be the fermentation of anti-American sentiment in Latin America..."
And finally, one last Obama-ism:
"Why can't I just eat my waffle?"
I want you to know that I avoided the temptation of tagging this post with a list of stupid things Barrack Obama says, gaffes and other ramblings of a Presidential candidate.
Additional quotes that I found at TheFreeRepublic.com...
"I'm putting you on notice. I'm very sensitive to jokes about my ears."
Great...now the Chinese know his button.
“Hold on a second, Sweetie.”
I will snookie ookums!
"...We cant keep our homes on 72 at all times & just expect that other countries are going to say OK..."
Can we stay up late on school nights? Check with Zimbabwe and get back to me.
"I just don't want to be involved in a political stunt,"
Now he tells me.
He's thinking, If I get away with this, I'm lying down and getting comfortable."
So he does.
Many, many men from Illinois died far from home fighting for our nation and the locals put up that monument after both sides called a truce. Where else but in America can you find a memorial to the "enemy" right smack dab in the middle of battlefield?
I drive into the battlefield off of Dallas Highway down a tree lined street that you can park along and just walked into the woods. Yesterday I walked in at Cheatam Hill, the site of one of the most ferocious battles fought in Kennesaw. As you walk in, within 1000 feet you'll see at least 4 memorials including this one:
That is the grave of the Unknown Soldier of Kennesaw Mountain. In the 1930's, when they were turning the battlefield into a national park, they found the body of a soldier who had died in that very spot some 70 years before. They buried him where he fell and marked his grave with the stone of an Unknown Soldier.
On Cheatam Hill, at one point you can stand right where the Union officers hid behind a lip in the hill maybe 50 feet away from the very place where the Confederates were firing. You can still see the Earthenworks that the Confederate soldiers hid behind as they fired at the approaching Union army at a place they call The Dead Angle. There's still a small opening where the Union army attempted to tunnel under the Earthenworks so that they could blow up the Confederate stronghold.
As I was walking through the battlefield and reading the markers along the path, I read one that discussed the oak stump that stood right there. When that old oak tree was cut down a while back, they found many, many bullets in it. So, as I walked along the path, when I would find a felled tree, I would pull the rotting bark off of it looking for more bullets. All I found were the termites and millipedes that have made the stumps their home.
I walked so far in that I got lost but what a place to get lost! Payton and I jumped a small creek and walked into it at one point where the rocks were all smooth from where the water runs when Georgia is not in a major drought. We saw horse prints and I wished that I had a horse. I would love to ride through that place on horseback.
Hidden right in the middle of a major Atlanta suburb, the paths of the battlefield go on for miles. You can walk for the entire day and not see a single sign of civilization.
On the few occasions that we passed other people, almost every single person we passed commented about how big my dog was. I've been walking him in the battlefield for years so he is pretty good about not eating other dogs. But, he really, really likes to smell their backsides so I had to brace my feet up against large tree roots to keep a tight hold on him. Other people don't see a big, dumb, happy dog when they look at Payton, they see a huge animal that weighs more than the skinny lady holding on to him. I imagine most people think that I won't be able to hold on to him but he hasn't gotten away from me since the first time I took him walking in there.
That time he was just a puppy and he would occasionally hang himself on my apple trees out in the back yard. When I took him to the battlefield for the first time he bolted and ran into the woods. I was terrified that he might hang himself in that forest and I would never find him. Of course I did, and now he's a well trained dog that loves that place. I can't even say the word "battlefield" in front of him lest I get ready to grab the keys and head on over to the park.
There's one thing that bothers me about that place. I take a pooper scooper and a bag with me so that I can clean up after my dog. If someone sees Payton and then sees his mess, it's not tough to figure out which dog did it. The piles of dog shit left by my dog are bigger than most of the other dogs in the park. Well, as we walk around the park, we pass piles of horse shit that no one has to stop and pick up. Why am I cleaning up after a dog that's almost as big as a horse while the horses crap willy nilly anywhere they want to?
So many people take their dogs into that battlefield that the dogs smell a LOT of different smells. And when a dog smells another dog, they pee on the smell so that the next dog smells THEM. Well, within twenty minutes, Payton had peed on so many trees that I wondered why he didn't run out. That dog must have had quite a store of dog pee. He didn't drink from the creek, he just peed along the sides of it. I was waiting for him to pass out from dehydration when we were lost.
But he made it out just fine and I think I'm going to go back today. Yesterday when I was there I wished that I had brought a camera because I saw so many beautiful things. This time I will. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do today...I'll buy a camera and take Payton back. I think he missed a few trees so today he can pee on those.
As I walk through the battlefield, I stand still and listen...hoping to catch a sound of years gone by. I look out over the clearings and see the Union army approaching Cheatam Hill. I look at the Illinois Monument and wonder if anyone I know had a great grandfather who gave his life right there. It isn't difficult at all to imagine the images of a battle fought long ago and to silently honor those who died there in June of 1864.
So, as you eat your hamburgers and chicken today...say a little prayer for those who died so that we may all live in such a wonderful country. And say an extra prayer that someday soon, ALL of the battlefields in the world will be as silent and peaceful as Kennesaw National Battlefield.
...no one would care if she was knocked up more times than Kelly Ripa, Britney Spears and my redneck cousin combined.
I know something that none of you know. And it's a huge, huge secret. It's a secret about Angelina Jolie. You guys are the first to read about it because I am the very first person in the world to report it (I can only speak for MY world). I have a wicked cool scoop about Ms. Jolie and if I'm not mistaken, this will FREAK OUT the minds of MILLIONS!!!
READ ALL ABOUT IT!!!
It seems as thought the curvaceous star has been protecting a deep, dark secret. Living with the shame of the odious truth has been quite grueling and has taken it's toll on the middle aged starlet, according to sources close to Jolie.
"She hid it from Brad for as long as she could but while she was in labor with her last child, she temporarily let her guard down and Brad saw what she had worked so desperately to hide from him." Interviewed on the condition of strict anonymity, a friend of the couples' told us that, "Brad has gotten over the initial shock of Angelina's deception and is learning to deal with her 'condition'...he's such a swell guy."
Calls to the couple's homes in 42 countries all went unanswered. The couples' publicist released this short but terse press release, "Angelina is the one who has had to live with this secret, she should be the one to discuss it now. This office will therefore have no further comment." Ms. Jolie's doctor refused to return phone calls as well.
The couple have tried desperately to keep any evidence of Ms. Jolie's condition secret but recently a web site published pictures that make it difficult for the Jolie-Pitts to continue in their efforts.
So, here is the picture that confirms the fact that Angelina is, in fact, a LONG SECOND TOE FREAK!!!!
See how my second toe is longer than the big toe? That's abnormal and I suffer life as a long second toed freak without any support from others of my kind. The shame is unbearable.
And now I have to check out my labia to make sure that that's OK. But I still don't know what the heck to check for! Maybe I need to go to a doctor and ask him what he thinks. I'm a nurse but I have never really noticed much of a difference between different labia...but perhaps it's just that I have an untrained eye. Jeez, I don't know what to do about this.
Oh well. I guess I should do the dishes because I KNOW they need to be done. I DON'T know about my labia and I guess it doesn't really matter anyway. First of all, I can't afford the surgery to have it fixed and secondly, I'm already a fricking freak with the messed up toe.