...keeping up with all of the new words that seem to pop up in daily use nowadays. Ordinarily I can figure out the meaning of new words by the way in which they're used. I heard a new word recently and I thought that I knew what it meant. It was used in reference to me by someone who obviously doesn't appreciate my humor so I just figured it was something bad. And since it was used by someone who only knows me online, I knew it had to be because of something that I said or did on this blog.
A while back I wrote a post about my odd feet. I didn't know that they were odd until people started pointing that fact out to me. I have very long fingers, legs and toes and my second toe is so long it's actually longer than my great toe. I posted this picture of my malformed foot to go along with the post regarding people who suffer the same ailment:
My freak toe doesn't bother me, and as far as I know, I've never suffered any discrimination because of it. But, I know how people frozen with 8th grade emotions think and most of them would seize the opportunity to make fun of me and my toe. That's OK, I'm not stuck in 8th grade so I couldn't care less what some nit wit says about me or my abhorrently long second toes.
Having met more than my share of feeble bullies, I can sort of see the effete attacks before they come. So, after publishing that picture of my malformed toe, I wasn't surprised to hear that there was a name for that deformity and some childish man-wannabes were using the derogatory term in reference to me. When I became aware of the sad little attempts to annoy me with the toe jokes, I brushed them off and never really thought about it again.
Then, this morning my daughter said that one of her toes was hurting her. That made me think of my toes and the freaks who made fun of them. My daughter seems to be rather hip about things so I decided to get her opinion and see if my toes qualified for the nasty little moniker given to them by some computer troll.
As my daughter walked into the kitchen where I was sitting at the table, I took the sock off of my right foot, stuck my foot up in the air so that it was pointing at my kid and asked her, "Do I have a camel-toe?"
Well, she knew what it meant. First she looked at my face and then she asked, "Are you kidding?" Of course, I was NOT kidding and she could see that. It caused her to laugh for a very long time. She laughed so hard that she couldn't tell me why it was funny. Eventually she did calm down enough to say, "Look it up on the computer...search images so you can see one."
I did. Apparently camel-toes have absolutely nothing to do with feet, or toes for that matter. Even after she stopped laughing, my daughter couldn't quite explain what an actual camel-toe was, but she was able to say that I did have one in this picture of my backside:
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, it seems as though the camel reference has something to do with two humps.
You know, if I had met someone with a really long second toe, I very well might have called them "Camel-toe". Knowing me, I would have said it right to their face and with my luck, they would have known exactly what a camel-toe was.
I'm glad that the issue came up with my grown daughter, I could have asked ANYONE had the thought popped into my head at a different time. Even so, it was slightly embarrassing. I've asked a few stupid questions in my life...here are some of the more asinine queries that I've made:
1. I took a letter to the Bensenville post office so I could send it to my cousin who lived about 10 miles away. I asked the man if they could send it air mail. He responded, "You could if there were any planes flying from Bensenville to Roselle."
2. After a night of making love I asked the father of my kids what the fishy smell was. He laughed so hard he had an anxiety attack.
3. I asked my father the name of the song that goes, "Bingo, bango, bongo" over and over again. He didn't even laugh, he just shook his head and walked away.
4. I walked into Auto Zone and asked for the "small funnel". I needed one that would help me get the oil in the little hole. Instead, the guy showed me the BIG hole that said OIL.
5. I walked around the Dollar Store looking for someone to tell me how much the sponge in my hand was. Luckily I realized where I was before I actually asked for the price check.
6. My ex had a woman calling our house, I found someone else's make-up in our car, he stopped calling me from work and he treated me like shit. Then I asked, "Is there somebody else?" That may be the single dumbest question that I, or any other woman, has ever asked a man.
I tried to come up with 10 stupid things that I've asked people but I only came up with 6. Do NOT let that lead you to believe that those are the ONLY dumb questions I've ever asked. They're the only 6 that I can come up with right now. I may remember more and if I do, I'll be back to let you know about them.
For now, I have to take my dog for a walk. He LOVES Los Angeles but they do have a law that ALL dogs (except breeding dogs) have to be de-sexed. That poor dog is a virgin and now he has to lose his testicles without ever having a chance to use them. How sad.