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Hi. I'm trying to think of another description to put here. Any ideas? I'll try again at 420.

Friday, September 30, 2005

I forgot to mention...

...this poor guys needs help badly. He pays $20-$50 bucks and hour to be stomped uopn:

i am finishing a stunt video and need women to trample me. if you would like to vent your anger by stomping me with a few girlfriends, that would be great! you get a release form in case I get hurt you are not responsible. i only tape from your knees down, so faces are not shown. If oyuy or any woman you know wants to make a few bucks stomping a guy, please let me know. thanks, matt
310-849-4229


www.myspace.com/trampletime

I don't know where he is, but if you need a few bucks and feel like stomping the hell out of a guy...give the poor dude a call.

OK, I'm going to bed now, see ya later!

Meg

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Every girl's crazy 'about a sharped dressed man!

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It must be nice not to have to worry about matching shoes!

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What a day...

...I had to get up at 4 to go to the hospital for some tests and a chemo treatment. That's always fun. I had Nurse Ratchett herself...a huge lady who seemed to get a kick out of mentioning my weight. For some reason, I got the feeling that she thought I wanted to be so thin. She actually said, "You know, men don't like women who don't have any meat on their bones, you should really put on some weight." I was stunned. I never tell them that I'm a nurse because I hate hearing, "You're a nurse, you should know better." When they put me on the payroll, I'm a nurse. When I'm lying in a bed with a huge needle sticking into my chest, I'm a patient.

You know how they say that doctors and nurses make the worst patients? That's because we know when you screw up. So, to cover for us and our bitching, they just say, "Oh well, you know what they say..." So, anyway, being a nurse, I knew to pick up the phone and call the house supervisor who made the charmer apologize to me. I could tell by the look in her eyes that she didn't like that one bit. I got a kick out of it myself.

I’m so unGodly tired that I have a feeling that I’m going to bed before it gets dark. I just finished dinner, did you know they make chicken fajita Hot Pockets? That was pretty darned good. I have finally gotten my taste back but it will leave again within a few days of the chemo. That’s so annoying, it takes all the fun out of eating. It took me a while to figure out why everything tasted so badly. It didn’t taste bad so much as it didn’t taste at all. I had to put a ton of salt on some spaghetti so that I could eat it. My Fruity Pebbles were bland and then when my popsickles didn’t taste good, I knew something was up. Right now I'm eating a bowl of Count Chocula with chocolate milk. I'm going to enjoy eating while I can!

I took my grandkids shopping last night, that didn’t take long. I told them that they could each pick out a toy and within a minute of entering the toy department, the little guy found a box of Hot Wheels and the birthday girl found a Princess Barbie. She loves to dress up as a princess. My daughter bought her a princess outfit and she’s been nuts about them ever since. With any luck at all, I’ll have a picture of her in that dress to post here on the blog. In the picture of me with them, I’m wearing her tiara, she wants me to dress up with her but I don’t happen to have a princess dress.

I have an idea. I think I’m gonna put an ad online to be a Rent-A-Wife. That’s something that I know how to do and there might be someone out there who needs one. I’m not quite sure what it entails, but then again, I never knew what to expect from marriage either so that’s cool. I’ll let you know how it goes. As a matter of fact, if you know someone who would like to rent a wife, steer them this way. And I’m a real wife, there won’t be any sex, I have a headache just thinking about that.

I just dosed off for a moment sitting up at my desk. I don’t understand why I don’t fall out of my chair when I do that. I’ve actually entered REM sleep and dreamt while I was sitting at my desk.

OUCH! I was playing with wax from my candle and I looked up at the CRT and burned my thumb. I have to go get an ice pack to hold on my thumb for the next two hours. I’d rather break a bone than burn myself. OH! I fell asleep again! Damn, I should just lie down and get it over with so see ya later. And, I’ll try to post the picture of the little princess.

Since I’m going to bed so early, I’m sure that I’ll be up really early in the am so I’ll see you then!

Ciao,

Meggers

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Grandma.

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Grandma and her babies.

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Thursday, September 29, 2005

I just spoke with Rick...

...and it went very nicely. His mother is dying so I am going to let him deal with this without any bullshit from me. I am a decent person, regardless of what I have done in the past. And, Rick doesn't deserve to have to deal with me being nasty while he is saying good-bye to his mother. He was at work when I spoke to him and I needed to speak to him so I told him that I would call him later...after he visited his mother and I took my granddaughter shopping for her birthday. That's all for now, I am about ready to leave to take the baby shopping, so I'll be back after a while.

Meg

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Dear Meg,

"...so I think he's been cheating on me. I was wondering if you would do me a favor. I've looked at your pictures and you seem to be his type. He is crazy about red heads and he loves tiny women. He always asks me why I can't be thin like that woman or the other woman....would you consider going to the bar that he's goes to and see if he hits on you? Then I will know for sure if hes been lieing to me and I will fell better knowing the truth. You wouldn't have to kiss him or anything, if he would take your number or give you his cell number I would be convinced that he would go farter if you let him..."

Farter? LOL, I guess that was a Freudian slip. Sure, I'd love to do that. But there would have to be something in it for me. Like a new outfit to use as bait. I've lost so much weight that I keep dropping sizes and can't accumulate enough clothes of one size to really go out too much unless jeans would do.

We could even pull a Cheater's thing but instead of a huge crew coming in with cameras, I could call you when it would be a good time for YOU to come in. Hell, this sounds like a lot of fun, let's go for it...I would want to post the entire thing on the blog though, it's too good to leave it out.

Meg

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Meg.Kelso@gmail.com

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Good morning!

I just blew off some Jehovah's Witnesses, they are two tenacious females. I've been making up excuses for over two years now. I need an excuse Rolodex like Seinfeld, I can't always think that quickly on my feet.

I went out with another guy last night, another cutie but youngun'. What's up with all these young dudes hitting on me? I asked him his age range before he knew how old I was and he answered me as casually as he could, "Between 25 and 40, I don't think I could vary much from that range," I immediately spewed Strawberry daiqueri all over his pants.

And yes, HE hit on me too! I even told him about the others...but this time I liked it. So basically, if a guy hits on me and I don't like him, he's a perv. If he hits on me and I DO like him, he's just a sexy, hot man. Oh, obviously the age thing didn't matter. What guy would walk out at that point because the lady he's having a nice time with turns out to be old enough to have been his baby-sitter? Especially when she kisses him back.

Of course, there's no future in these young guys, but hell, there sure is some fun to be had with them. Especially when they're good kissers. I am soooo glad that kissing won't give you much more than a cold because I sure have done a bit of it lately. There's only been two of them but they both kiss really, really, really well so we spent a lot of time doing it. I don't think I'd bother if I guy wasn't a good kisser. I'd do that 'put my head on his shoulder' thing. I'd hug him with my mouth in some out of the way place so that he couldn't get to it. Then, I would try to extricate myself from the situation. It's no fun kissing a bad kisser...it's actually really yucky, isn't it?

I must say, I'm a damn good kisser myself. Really...I have references. I think that dude from last night would confirm my expertise in the kissing arena. And I can kiss for a LONG time. I love a good make out session. The only problem with those is that eventually, you have to be the one to stop things and that's no fun. It's a bitch when you don't want to stop, isn't it ladies? But when you have to stop, for one reason or another, you kinda bargain in your mind don't you? I think to myself, "Hell, I want to, he wants to, we're both adults...why shouldn't I? The bedroom's right down the hall, who'd know? I locked the doors, didn't I? Yeah...man I want to take this guy and screw his brains out....SHIT! I can't do that. You know, this is really annoying me, why in the HELL don't I just take off his pants? Forget the bed, I could nail him right here on the couch. Ooh, that felt good, I'm gonna go for it...NO! I can't do that...I'm married. SHIT! Rick's probably screwing some tart right now so why can't I just jump this guy's bones? OK, I'm gonna just reposition myself a little, Oh, that was stupid, he's ready himself! This isn't fair to anyone. I'm ready, he's ready, it's almost CRUEL not to! Crap."

And for some inexplicable reason I say, "Sorry, you'll have to go now."

And then I lie in my bed and toss and turn like someone in D.T.'s. Ain't that a bitch? It's rough being a woman. Guys think it's hard to be told no, imagine how hard it is to be the one to say it when you really don't want to? That's where some smooth talking could really make the difference. You have a horny woman right there, you better say something good or she's outta there on general purposes. Of course, I mean the first time, after that it's gets easier.

I'd like to go out on a date that I KNEW was going to end in sex. Wouldn't that be fun? All night you guys are having fun knowing that before you fall asleep that night, you'll be doing the horizontal bop.

By the way, I came across a good blog the other day. It's nice to see the English language respected so well. Stop in and say hello if you have the time:

http://lolliemomdragonflies.blogspot.com/

Well, I suppose I should get my mind out of the gutter and try to do something productive if I can. So I'll see you later,

Meg

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Wednesday, September 28, 2005

A couple of people asked me...

...how much of what Rick said in that conversation was true. So, I decided to add comments to his emails for you.

What he said:

Hi, I really like your profile. I just moved her in june from back east to take care of my mother. I'm just getting settled in and looking for a friend to start and go from there. If your interested, write back.

What he meant:

I pay so much in alimony that I had to move in with my mother. No woman will go for a guy who says “Spread ‘em!” so I will just go through the motions of a short friendship.

Hi! I enjoyed getting your e-mail and look forward to learning more about you. Your profile says that you came here for your family, that's nice. How old are your kids? I am about to leave for a short vacation, but I will still be able to e-mail you. Maybe we will get to know each other really good before I get back. So, where did you move here from?Sarah

What he said:

Hi Sarah, It was nice of you to respond. My Is Rick,my mother has COPD,it's a breathing disease.I don't know about good son it's just thr right thing for me and her.I was born in Helena and i grew up in the Great Falls area,I have 2 sons 27,23 they live in Virginia. I'm jealous (taking vacation),hope you enjoy yourself. So tell me a little more about self.Rick

What he meant:

I can’t believe a woman wrote to me! My mother is on a fixed income and she could use a few bucks and of course I can’t afford a place of my own so the two of us live in her trailer, it works out great for us both. I’m a mindless moron with nothing to say so could you please write something now?

Rick,Nice to meet you! I am going to Idaho to visit my mother. She isn't doing too well either so I go to visit her once a month so it's not really a vacation per se, but I am actually taking my vacation this time to visit her and I will be there for a week. I'm leaving after work Friday, it's about a 5 hour drive. Virgina huh? I have never been but I've heard nice things about it. So, you are an electronic technician? Do you fix computers? I could use a person who knows about them! I have so many problems with mine. I was widowed 10 years ago and I remarried but it turned out to be a huge mistake and I got out of that one quickly. So, now I am just a single mom again. I moved here to get away from my ex, he is still in Idaho and I am hoping that he doesn't find out that I'm there when I go. Do you have MSN or something that we could chat on? How about a picture of yourself? I'd like to email you again but I hate going through this thing because I get a bunch of IM's when I come on. Would you like to chat with me?

What he said:

SarahSarah,It's nice to meet you. So how old are your kids? If you would like to email me direct it's ************,I know about those im's i hate them.I would love to chat with you,right now i use my dad's computer but i'm over there everyday and he has msn messenger and i also use my computer at work. My next purchase is going to be a computer,my ex got everything so i came up here with just some clothes but that's okay because i can always buy material things,just having piece of mind and being with my family is worth it. As soon as i can find a picture i will send you one.Well guess i better start working,talk to later.

What he meant:

I am so amazed that a woman has shown an interest in me that I am going to give you my private email address. When I’m not at my mother’s house, I’m at my father’s house. I have nothing else to do. I left my wife and didn’t have the balls to go back and get any of my stuff so if I ever have a few bucks at one time, I’ll buy a used computer. All I left with was a few clothes but that’s all I came into the marriage with except for a Bicentennial Pepsi-Cola bottle that I’ve saved for close to 30 years and I'm sure I retire off of the money I get when I sell it. Material things aren’t important to me because I’ve never had shit in the first place, except for that Pepsi bottle. I wouldn’t know what it was like to have shit either. My family is very important to me because no one else will put up with my ass. I’ll send you a picture of me after I think I have you interested in me, I would hate to scare you off so quickly. I own my ex a ton of cash so I have to go earn some money.

What he said:

Dear Sarah,Yes you can download any of them,I haven't used any of them so i don't know which one is the best,I know my stepmother has msn messenger. I've been divorced for one year and i figured it's time to meet someone to enjoy different things with. How long have you been divorced? Girls, I hear there pretty tough to raise, I kinda wished i had a girl but my boys were no picnic. It is a beautiful day isn't it, I went home for lunch and didn't want to come back.I came up from Atlanta,Ga I lived there about 10 years and before that New York and then Virginia, We moved there when i was 12. Well glad i have your email and will talk to you later.Rick

What he meant:

I can’t afford to buy a computer so I’ll speak with you on my stepmother’s MSN account. I left my wife a year ago when she was suffering badly from cancer. We should be divorced soon but I didn’t want to have to explain the truth to you so I just lied. I find that ever so much easier than telling the truth, no matter how much trouble it gets me into. My wife wrote a blog about me and it was featured in the Atlanta Journal Constitution, but I can’t seem to get it through my thick head that lying is a bad thing. Paying child support for those kids was a bitch. I can’t afford a Quarter Pounder so my mom made me a peanut butter sandwich for lunch. I cheated on my wife in Virginia and then I convinced her to leave town so that she would believe that I wasn’t cheating anymore. I didn’t let that stop me though, any woman who would forgive a bum like me is stupid enough to put up with my crap forever.

One year? Oh what fun. What happened if you don't mind me asking? I have been divorced for 3 years, it was pretty bad. Like I said, I was widowed before and I lost all of my widow benefits by marrying a drunk. It didn't work because I don't drink. Well, I do, but maybe two or three tops but that's rare. What do you do for fun? I have pretty much kept up my camping skills. That's so nice, just being up in the mountains. I sit here looking at them all the time wishing I were up there. Well, maybe after I get back from Idaho. You can't dance? I hate dancing. I hope you don't want to ever go dancing.Sarah

What he said:

It just seemed that i was the only one trying and kept getting accused of cheating for the last 5 years which i wasn't but isn't that what they all say but i feel it was the other way but i'm not sure but she did stay out very late alot of nights so i just could take it anymore. And no i don't think i will want to go dancing. I do love the outdoors but i haven't kept up on my camping skills so maybe you can help me out there.I just started working out again and i guess i just like the simple things but open for anything.

What he meant:

I started cheating on my wife again 5 years ago and she didn’t like that one bit. She complained and bitched whenever I lied to her so I tried to carry on my affairs while she was out at night doing stand up comedy. She wanted me to come watch her, but I wanted to speak to my girlfriend so I stayed home instead of supporting her. I can’t dance, never could. I haven’t been dancing since the 80’s. You can ask my wife. She always asked if I would take her dancing but I put her off one way or another. I always like to say that I love the outdoors, but I spend my time sitting on a couch watching karate movies. I’m in the middle of a mid-life crisis so I’m working out. I can’t afford a convertible or a motorcycle, so I am going to do what I can to make my body hot, I have to do something to make up for that misshapen penis of mine. I can’t afford anything but cheap stuff, so I am into the simple things like those karate movies.

Dear Rick,Yes, the simple things are all I need. I'd love to take you camping. I work out, too. Where do you work out? I've been on both ends of the trust thing, where I wasn't trusted and where I had a hard time trusting. I don't know which is worse. I know what you mean waiting up all night. My husband would lie to me about where he was and I had a hard time trusting him because of that. Then he didn't trust me, but I think it was mostly his drinking. I'm glad you don't want to go dancing. So you're kids are grown? Will they be visiting you any time soon or will you go see them? I'm sure you must miss them.My brother-in-law is an electronics technician and he works on computers, but he is too far away to help me figure out how to work my webcam. Do you know anything about them? Also, when did you want to try to chat? I'm leaving late Friday night after work or early Saturday morning to go to Mother's, so Thursday night or Saturday night would be good for me. I'll be at Mother's all week until the first of October. Hopefully I'll get home Saturday and have Sunday off before I have to go back to work on Monday.Looking forward to chatting with you, hope to hear from you soon.Sarah

What he said:

Dear Sarah,I work out at the glacier gym,my boss knows the owner and it's close to work so i go right after work. Yeah I miss my kids but they have there own live going,you know how that is in your 20's,maybe next year i will go vist them.I would be happy to try to help you with your computer. So if we chat tonight what would be a good time? For me it would be after 7:30. Just let me know. Rick

What he meant:

I can’t afford to pay for a gym membership so my boss talked a friend into letting me work out at his place. I miss my kids but plane tickets cost money and between me and my two grown sons, we don’t have two nickels to rub together. I’d love to come by your house on the guise of working on your computer, then I don’t have to pay for a date! By the way, is your computer in your bedroom? It won't take long, I promise!

Rick,I started writing you an email and when I did, I accidentally hit something and it disappeared! I don't know if it went to you or if it just disappeared. I have been to Glacier Gym, wouldn't it be funny if we knew each other! I still don't know what you look like. Where do you work? I work at Peak Real Estate, I am going to take a course in Real Estate in about a month. I'm so excited about that. It does make me mad that if I had never married again I would still have my widow benefits. My first husband was in the Air Force. He was a pilot and he was killed in an exercise and I had enough benefits to where I would never have to work again. Oh well, we live and learn! I can be here at 7:30, if I'm late, I'll email you. I was going to use my daughter's name but she said that if I did, all of her friends would IM me so I am going to create another one when I get home. Then, I'll email you to let you know the name and I will make sure that you know I am gonna be there. OK, I have to get back to work, look forward to chatting tonight!

What he said:

SarahWell I'm 6'2" about 210 pounds have brown eyes,brown hair except on top where there's a bald spot as soon as i can find a picture i will email it to you. I work at ********* the only repair shop in town,when i moved here i just called them up and ask them if they were looking for experienced tech so that's how got the job, next month i will be starting a second job at ****************.I'm sorry to her about your husband i have alot of respect for pilots,I was in the Marine Corps and my brother-in-law is a 1st Lt in the Army,but sorry to her about your ex, we all make mistakes it's how we deal with them that matters. Well it sure is nice emailing you and looking forward to chatting with you, have a great day.Rick

What he meant:

I’m 6’1” but I always add that ego inch. I weigh 225 pounds but I always subtract 15 pounds. I have brown eyes topped by one long uni-brow that my wife used to pluck for me. There’s a bit of gray and brown hair next to my ears, but you can put your make-up on using my scalp. I moved here without a job and found one at some mom and pop place. I failed the test to get into the Army so the marines took me. I tell people I was a sergeant but I was really a corporal. I hope that you don’t expect to see my face on MSN because I’m not ready to reveal my ugly puss just yet, I enjoy having a woman to speak to. I refer to you as my girlfriend and have told my family all about you!

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now wait one.....how in the world can you flunk a test for the Army? I mean, c'mon........if he could make evaporation appear after breathing on a mirror/had a pulse, you're golden-aka-"In."
Whew. This is downright scarier than I realized. His emails to you/Sarah reveal he can't spell (what, didn't he have spell check?) but that's a non-issue. No one's very concerned about spelling etc. as long as you can pull a trigger other than the one between your legs. Considering his "staying power" he might be useful in an ambush situation.
But he'd probably pull the wrong 'trigger' in any event which would drip woefully into his weapon jamming it. By that time he'd be dead-eviscerated, actually.
What a fitting "ending."
TW

May 13, 2012  
Blogger Meg Kelso said...

He could flunk a test for the boy scouts. Amazingly, he got through life spending most of his time in the worst part of town associating with white trash. My bad for making him move.

May 13, 2012  

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I just watched my soap opera...

...for the first time in years. I noticed something odd going on. They seem to be changing the program into a sit com. I guess it’s just that they aren’t taking themselves too seriously. I was surprised at how many new people there were on it. In case you were wondering, it’s All My Children.

I used to have a rule that nobody could call me when All My Children was on. People who broke that rule were severely chastised. Nobody did that twice. My biggest fear was that I would die on a Friday afternoon, just after watching the weekend cliffhanger. That would be my luck. It would also be my luck that the Cubs will win the World Series the October following my death. I’ve told my kids to bet on them immediately after my funeral.

Today has been an annoying day, mostly because my dog seems to have a grave situation transpiring in his intestines. I believe I have alluded to the ghastly stench that this creature puts forth. Other than this state of affairs, he was being a very pleasant and obedient dog.

The assaults began in a very erratic manner and were pretty much spread out in time so that I could get over one before another molested me. Eventually, it got to the point that I was getting a little annoyed and I started to take it out on the dog. So, I thought it best to just put him outside. That stopped that problem.

OH! Guess what? Remember that genius who told me to get snails instead of the algae eater? Well, now I have a bunch of baby snails AND the first two are HUGE! One damn algae eater would have been easier to get rid of than a million snails. Now what do I do? All I wanted was to keep the fricking aquarium clean and I’m creating some odd eco-system here. Oh, I think I’m going to watch Lord of the Rings. That sounds like fun. Then I think I’m gonna go out...just can’t decide what to do yet. I’ll let you know when I figure it out. Before I go, I have to say, this is funny:



Meg

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There’s a person in America who is afraid all the time. She wasn’t in a hurricane and nobody committed a crime against her so there won’t be anyone coming to her rescue. She doesn’t know anyone because she is afraid to leave her house. She wakes up 4 times a night and never gets a decent nights sleep. When the clock says 5 am, she gets out of bed and waits for someone to help her but no one ever comes. She paces back and forth all day long, wringing her hands. She is paralyzed by fear and embarrassed to be this way. She doesn’t want to burden her adult children and her parents are gone. There really isn’t anyone else to help her. You won’t hear about her on the news because her life isn’t something that a reporter would be interested in. There must be others like her but these people can’t get together for fear of leaving their homes.

She feels dreadfully worthless and lately she has been considering just ending the misery by ending her life. She knows it’s a coward's way out, but she really believes that no one would even miss her. That’s truly a shame because she has so much to offer and would help anyone who asked her for help.

In this country, we come to the rescue when major disasters hit large numbers of people but when there is just one sad person sitting all alone in a house, there isn’t a soul who even knows about them, much less cares to come to their rescue. We drive down streets totally unaware of the sadness in the homes that we pass.

We can’t see the woman in the house...sitting alone crying softly to herself, so we drive on our way, singing to the radio or chatting with our friends. Surely we would help if we knew about this woman, but who is there to tell her story?

When it is so painful to be awake and to know that it will be just as painful tomorrow, you start to think about putting an end to the pain. Suicide is certainly a permanent solution to a temporary problem but how long does one have to wait for that solution to come? When you are terrified to leave your house, how do you even try to solve your problems?

A long time ago, she was a little girl with dreams and hopes for her life but something happened along the way that ruined all of those dreams. She has her memories, memories of her prom, her wedding, giving birth to her children, all of the wonderful things that added to her hopes and dreams. But now, there doesn’t seem to be anything else to look forward to. Her mind is full of fear, fear of being homeless, being alone and just plain living with the fears that plague her everyday.

What does one do when they are filled with fear? Dr. Phil doesn’t make house calls, no doctor does. When someone is terrified to leave the house, how does help arrive? Who do you call to ask for help? Anyone who could help wouldn’t come to her home and she can’t leave it.

After living with the pain for long enough, there comes a time to end it the only way that you can think of. If one pill will help a little bit, then surely the entire bottle will help a lot. People who have a good life will only be judgmental and tell her that she should just get over it and do what has to be done. They don’t understand at all what it feels like to live in fear every single day of your life. What do you do to help a person like that? I have no answers.

When every day is filled with fear and hopelessness, death seems to be a pretty good alternative. As Socrates said, death is either eternal life with the Gods or a very, very long nap. So, how could that possibly be worse than waking up terrified every single day?

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Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Dear Meg,

I’ve been reading your story for months now and I think that you and me think a lot alike. I would love to know you better and would like for you to visit me. I have my own home but it needs a woman's touch and you seem to be the woman that I would need. Your pretty and your smart and you seem to be very kind and sweet. I would never cheat on you. I never cheated on my wife and she died 10 years ago from heart attack and I have been alone ever since then. I have 4 kids, 3 of them are still living at home so would you mind marrying a man who had children?...”

Well, that’s different. I haven’t been called “sweet” by anyone who knows me strictly from the blog, LOL. I have been called sweet many times, but usually by someone who knows me and I don’t think that you do. My guess is that you are just very lonely, I could be wrong, but I can’t imagine going to visit a man who I have never met before. Also, my divorce is not yet finalized and even if it was, I have no desire to get involved in a serious relationship right now. To be honest with you, I don’t trust my own feelings right now. I remember thinking that Rick was one of the last honorable men on the planet. I was so incredibly wrong that it has trashed my ability to trust my own judgment.

On top of all that, I am enjoying being alone right now. I can come and go when I please, I can leave the dishes in the sink if I want to and I can put onions and peppers in my chili. I can’t imagine what it would take for me to trust another man. I hope that I will be able to someday, but for now, I like having the ability to run my life the way I want to. Also, it wouldn’t be fair to any man for me to begin a relationship when I am so unsure about my cancer.

Anyway, thanks for your kind email and please, write me again, if nothing else, we could certainly be friends.

OK then, I wanted to tell you guys about a friend of mine. I can’t say much about him because I want to protect his privacy but I have to tell someone about him. He is such a neat guy. He’s as handsome as he can be and he’s one of the nicest guys I have ever met. He’s the tall cutie guy I told you about before. He’s 6’6” tall and has shoulder length, curly hair. He’s tall without being lanky, he’s quite well proportioned. What I wanted to say about him is that he does for me what Rick didn’t. He makes me feel desirable and attractive...two things that Rick wouldn’t do for me. Of course, when you’re screwing another woman, it’s pretty much impossible to make your wife feel wanted. He’s got a vulnerable quality that is very rare amongst men. He is an honest man and I believe every word he says. I'm not looking for a serious relationship right now so that isn’t an issue. I've told him that and he’s cool with it. I asked him if women came on to him all the time, especially considering he plays in a band and he said that they didn’t. I was stunned. I couldn’t believe that this tall, handsome man didn’t have women falling all over him. I bet he just doesn’t notice them, but I could be wrong. Having such a handsome man interested in me really is a boost to my self esteem, something I need right now.

He is everything that Rick wasn’t, he’s funny, intelligent, generous, fun to be around and he can carry on a conversation that doesn’t involve karate movies. If I were looking for a man to fall in love with, this is the one that I would choose. Luckily, I have a grip on my feelings otherwise I could fall for him in a big way. He’s younger than me, not jail bait young, but younger by more than 10 years. That’s just one more thing that boosts my self esteem. I know that he could attract young, attractive women but he enjoys ME! He does more for me and my psyche than years of therapy could ever do. If Rick had treated me the way this guy does, we would still be married. Of course, if Rick had only been an honest man, we would still be together. None of the fights we had that turned into violent altercations would have ever happened if he hadn’t lied and cheated.

It’s men like this one that make me glad that the marriage is over. Once you’ve been treated so well, you really see the hideous way that you’ve been treated in the past. I wish that all women could have a man like this one, even if it was only for a short time just so they could see how nice it feels to have a decent man around. After being treated so well, no woman would ever accept the hideous treatment that some men dole out.

Well, I’m tired so I am going to go to bed now. Have a good day and I’ll be back later.

Meg

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Monday, September 26, 2005

OK Karen, here you go...Beware!

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yep. No doubt, this was the creep that was looking in my windows.
Is he on the Sex Offenders Registry yet? Oh wait-I'll just go look myself...........
TW

May 13, 2012  
Blogger Meg Kelso said...

LOLOL...he looks like he thinks he is sexiness incarnate.

May 13, 2012  

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Hi there...

...I’ve received more mail from that conversation with Rick than I have about anything else I’ve posted in a long time. Surprisingly, it’s all been very positive. I suppose I just invited some negative mail, but most of the people who would write something negative don’t bother because they know it wouldn’t bother me and that if anything, I might use it to make fun of them. Anyway, here are a few of the emails that I’ve gotten today:

Dear Meg,
You married a guy who thinks "a lot" is one word?Jesus.

LOL, I was drinking heavily at the time. He also thought there was a town called Pepsicola and another called Philadelthia. I could go on...but I have, in a blog, LOLOLOL. I accept full responsibility for my actions and have learned from them.

MegYou should post a picture of this creep so more women aren’t taken in by his lies.
Karen

Karen,
I have posted a few of them on this blog, but for you, I’ll look for another to post, check it later this afternoon, by then I should have found one to put up there.
Meg

Meg,
What a service you are doing! Men will think twice before they try to cheat on their wives online!...

I don't know about a service but the other is pretty much what I was thinking. That and the revenge/bitterness thing. So many people say that I’m a “bitter divorcee” that I feel as though I should live up to the name.:):):)

Meg,
...you seem to be an intelligent woman, I can’t imagine why you would marry such an obvious low life idiot...all one has to do to see what an idiot your husband is read his own words..."

Once again, I was drinking very heavily at the time. And, don’t forget, love will trump intelligence every time.

Dear Meg,
I love it! You crack me up all the time but not as you cracked me up this time, I caught my fiance doing the same thing you did. They are such idiots...
Julie


Dear Julie,
Not all of them. It takes an extremely arrogant man to think that a woman is so interested in him that he forgets to use the brain that God gave him.

One immutable fact if life is the fact that the testosterone induced are ego driven. How else do you explain comb-overs and speedos? As I said before, Rick is bald and baldness is caused by increased levels of testosterone. Rick has far too much of the chemical that allows one to see that the women staring at him are not staring out of desire but rather out of a dreadful desire to laugh at him. Only arrogance would explain the little dance he does when he comes out of the shower, especially the part where he shakes his hips so hard that Mr. Happy smacks back and forth against his thighs. Only arrogance would convince a man that he should dance in a way that emphasizes the warped, distorted thing that he calls his “manhood”. Such pride in a birth defect, one rarely sees. If my coochie was all deformed, I would getteth myself to a nunnery and never, ever let a man, or woman for that matter, see it, feel it or be near it.

But, I haven’t testosterone. Every single man is proud of their own One-eyed Wonder Worm. I find that odd. You'd almost think that they really ARE something special the way they brag so. But, over the years I have found that very few of them have anything at all to brag about. I guess they need that chemical there to hide the truth from them or there wouldn’t be any little people.

OK, I have to go make dinner again, those Hot Pockets don't cook themselves. Oh! I am going to look for that picture for Karen.

See ya,

Meg

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I hate the internet...

...it can be so irritating. Here I am trying to sign onto my G-mail account as I do 5 times a day and it won’t go to my email nor will it go to the G-mail home page. I can do anything else, I can even search G-mail and I get a quarter of a billion sites in 0.11 seconds and when I click on the link, it does nothing. Why? Why? I need to know...WHY!

10 years ago I never heard of this crap and here I am, using it every single day now. Our internet access is now a utility...we have to have it like we have to have electricity...what’s up with that? I imagine that back when they invented electricity, some people said, ‘Why on earth would anybody pay so much to have light in their house when they can just turn on the kerosene lamp? Or, “What sort of fool would pay $600 dollars for an auotMobeel when they could just saddle up their horse?”
Here we are dependent on a glorified typewriter, telephone, encyclopedia, television, record player. After thinking of all the things this sucker does, it’s actually a pretty neat thing, isn’t it?

When you listen to the TV news, they always give you the numbers of people who have no electricity...who the hell cares? What difference does it make how many people can’t watch TV? I’ve been without electricity after a few storms and I never thought it was newsworthy.

It was actually kinda funny looking back on it. I had given my son a tiny TV for Christmas, one that had a 2x2 inch screen. We had an ice storm shortly after the holidays and after a while, the entire family sat on the couch trying to watch that tiny TV. There was no way that everybody could see it at the same time so there was quite a bit of...”I can’t see!” or “What did he have in his hand?”

I had to cook on the kerosene heater...we had a bunch of canned beef stew and chili while the power was out. I just cooked the stuff in a saucepan on top of the heater. It worked really, really well. It’s actually a little fun to have the electricity go out, isn’t it?

The last time it went out was this past summer. I had a bunch of those big square-battery flashlights. Those things are great. I put two of them on my coffee table facing up and I could lie on the couch and read a book. I had two of them in 3 rooms and then I only needed a candle in the others. I thought it was pretty neat how well it worked...I just wish that I had someone else with me to enjoy it. I would have had fun playing cards or even Hide and Seek. That’d be freaky in the dark, wouldn’t it? As fun as all of this sounds, none of it is the least bit newsworthy.

Hell, it’s barely worth the time it’s taking me to write this. Oh well, I have to write something. I wonder why they don’t report how many people are without internet access? Or whether or not eBay has been affected?

I heard recently that there was a Superintendent of Schools that wanted to buy EVERY SINGLE STUDENT in the entire school system a computer. I think that's ridiculous. Even if you believe that all of the kids should have a computer, surely you must agree that it should be based on need. Rich kids should not have tax dollars pay for their computers.

Another thing, what an opportunity for corruption! Any government expenditure like that will capture the eye of some crooked freak. If anything, they should just give the kids a voucher and let them go buy their own computers. If the schools have no ONE company providing them, their isn’t anyone who would be trying to get a kickback. But, that kind of thinking makes too much sense. They’d rather buy the computers themselves than just give out vouchers with certain rules applying to them. But we can’t make that much sense...there’s too much cash to be made here.

Well, I have to go wash dishes...AGAIN.

See ya,

Meg

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Dear Margret,

I am Noreen remember me from Virginia? I was the one who Rick promised to be with after he left you. Can you tell me what ever happened? Why did you guys stay together? Why did you stay with him after he slept with me? I married Pat from Montgomery Wards? Do you remember him? He told me that heloved you and wanted to mary you until you moved away. I was curious why you stayed with Rick instead of being with Pat. He is such a good husband. You really made a wrong choice...I laughed when I read your descibing of his penis, he realy had a twisted one and he never could make it go for more than 3 minutes...

Hi Skanky tramp,
Yeah, I made a bad choice, but it was the right thing to do at the time. Far too many people give up on marriage when it gets bad and I was trying to do what I thought was right. I have changed my mind about that, I would never stay with anyone who cheated or lied again because I’ve learned that a liar is always a liar and a cheat is always a cheat. Rick said he never slept with you and I was just stupid enough to believe him. I guess that was because I wanted to believe him. Of course, I’ve found out since then that you two screwed each other in the back of his work van and I find that disgusting. Did you know that everyone at your job knew that? I heard about it from at least 2 people, maybe 3, I can’t remember now. How does it feel to know that you have a reputation as a slut? I’m curious about something, have you cheated on Pat? You’re right, he is a good guy and I should have listened to him when he said you were screwing Rick in the van. I am stunned that he married you but I guess he was doing the right thing since you were pregnant.

Well, it’s nice to know that he couldn’t last any longer with you than he did with me. His ex-wife said the same thing so all of Roanoke seems to be aware of his speedy sexcapades.

The first three times we had sex, he barely got it in before it exploded. The first time he ever lasted more than 30 seconds he said, That was better!” Better than what, I do not know. It actually made me feel sorry for him and I believed that he must have been very inexperienced if he couldn’t make love any better than that. Twenty five years later, he wasn’t any better so I guess my logic was wrong.


This past weekend I went to visit a nursing home that is not very close to me, I went to visit a friend of mine who lives about fifty miles away from me and we were talking about the book that I’m writing and he mentioned that his grandfather had been in a really good nursing home so we went to visit some of the people that he got to know when his grandfather was there and it turned out to be an excellent place. That made me feel so good, and it renewed my faith in nursing homes. I knew that there had to be good ones somewhere and now I know of one. The place was clean, the call lights were answered and the residents were dressed nicely, groomed well and there wasn’t a urine smell through out the place. The book that I’m working on has three nursing homes in it but I haven’t gotten to the third one yet. I had planned on making it a nasty one like the first two but I’ve decided to fashion it like the one that I was at Saturday. It’s much more fair to the industry and hopefully, people who have to place a loved one in a nursing home will know what types of things to look for.

There was a woman there who constantly scratched herself to the point that she had sores all over her body...there were really, really bad sores on her backside and she did nothing but dig in those sores at in that area all day long. It would be nice if they got her up in a chair, she wouldn’t be able to dig so much if she was sitting on the place that she liked to dig but that’s where she has a dreadful sore and sitting up would probably make it worse. I spoke to her nurse (my friends’ girlfriend) and she said that the family didn’t want her restrained at all. She told me that they even consider side rails restraints now! I couldn’t believe that. If you have placed a loved one in a nursing home and you constantly complain to the nurses and the administrator, you should know that some of the staff will take it out on your loved one. People think that constant complaining will get their family member taken care of better but it doesn’t work that way at all. They might take better care of them if they know you’re coming to visit but when you’re not there, your loved one is basically ignored. I’m not at all saying that is the right thing for them to do, I’m just telling you the truth. At best, the staff will stay away from them for fear of being the one that you whine about. If you come in and complain constantly, like the nit wit who doesn’t want her mother to have her side rails up, I have to wonder...why don’t you take them home and care for them yourself?

You know, when the constant complainers are not there, the staff says things like...“The family doesn’t want to bother with their mother/father/grandparent and they come here to complain so that they feel as though they are doing something” And, “They assuage their guilt by bitching at us.” You may think that your bitching does some good but it rarely does anything except make things worse for the resident that you are whining about. I’m not saying that you should never complain, but you should do it in a decent way. The people who demand that a certain staff member be fired do the most damage to the loved one. The staff is pretty much a team and when you try to get one of the team in trouble or try to have them lose their job, the rest of the team will remember that when your family member needs something. They will take care of the resident, but they will do the bare minimum and they will not do any of the little extra things that the staff does for the residents like giving manicures, going out of their way to bring them a newspaper, put on powder, anyone of a hundred little things that staff does for the residents that make the facility a special place to be.

I’ve been to very, very nice places and some really sucky places and that’s one thing that they all have in common. So, if you have a problem with the staff at the place that your loved one is, try to behave in a professional, kind manner and then your loved one will be treated the same way.

If you don’t like the way they care for your loved one, take them home and do it yourself.

OK, enough of that. I’m about to have all of my kids here at once so I have to get ready for them. I have a bedroom that hasn’t been entered in a couple of months so I am going to go strip all of the beds to ready the place for them. I don’t think that we will go anywhere unless they want to do something. I would prefer to stay at home and play Mom...cooking three meals a day and cleaning up after them. The empty nest thing is a bitch. It will be so nice to have all of us in the house at the same time, I can’t wait. It’s my favorite thing in the world, I like it better than jewelry, vacations or even winning a huge lottery jackpot! So, I’m going to go and start to get ready for them so I’ll see you later!

Meg

PS My sister emailed me to tell me that she named my neice Autumn, not our Mom. The way I remembered it, my mother said that SHE named her...but it was a long time ago so my sister is probably right, I'm quite sure she would remember it better than I would.

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Good morning!

...Or afternoon, whatever. I am in a good mood today because I am going to have all of my kids together next month! I love it when they are all here, they make it feel much more like home. My daughter’s birthday is September 29th...and my granddaughter was born on the same day so next week I have to get two people birthday presents. The baby will be 4 and my daughter will be 26. I was only 21 when I had her. It’s hard to imagine that my kids are all older than I was when I had them. Oh yeah, today is my nieces birthday.

Her name is Autumn, my mother named her that when she was born on the first day of fall. Then, my mother called her Fall.

My sister had a knack for choosing names that were very unique. She was going to name her first kid Brandy Wine but she changed her mind and named her Brandy Lore. When she was pregnant with her second, we asked her if she would name it Jack Daniels if it were a boy. For some reason, she named that kid Jennifer, a normal name. Maybe that was a result of all the teasing we gave her when she had Brandy.

Brandy is a lovely young woman, she’s in nursing school now. She’s the kind of person who would make a great nurse. I’ve noticed that most of the new nurses today don’t seem to have the compassion that they did twenty years ago so it’s nice to see a young person who is so kind and empathetic becoming a nurse. Oddly, I’ve noticed that male nurses are almost ALWAYS very good. I don’t know why that is.

I’d love to have all of my mother’s grandchildren in one place without a funeral happening all around us. The last time that all 6 of us kids and the 6 grandchildren were together was my mother’s funeral. Isn’t it sad when the person who holds the family together dies? It seems as though everybody just sort drifts apart when that happens. It’s especially sad when you consider how important it was to the person who died...they kept the family together because they knew how important it was so it’s sad when that begins to end. To make it even sadder, the one wish that my mother had when she died was something that she told the minister to tell us at her funeral. She had him deliver this simple message to me and my brothers and sisters...“Take good care of each other.” I’m as guilty of any of my siblings and all I can say is that life gets in the way of so much. It’s like you can’t see the forest for the trees only the forest is you life. Wouldn’t it be nice if we had Sibling Day?

I’d like that...we could all get together and bicker over minor, petty insignificant stuff like who’s gonna do the dishes and who started the minor, petty argument in the first place. Ah, the good old days.

I’m getting ready to watch Phone Booth, I’ve seen it before but it was a while ago. I liked it even though I had never heard of that guy who spends the movie in the Phone Booth. Ever since then, I see him all the time. When I first head of it, I thought it was a dumb idea for a movie but I think they did a good job with it. That guy did a good job as well.
Well, I’m getting tired so I’m gonna go lie on the couch and fall asleep watching that movie.

Have a good morning, I’ll see you soon.

Meg

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Thursday, September 22, 2005

OK, my surprise is ready...

...earlier than I expected, but it’s still a good one. Remember when I told you that Rick had a profile at that fish dating site? When I found it, I created a profile of a woman that I knew he would like. Well, I was right. Within 24 hours, he sent an email to Sarah, the fake chick that I made up.

It’s nice to know that he didn’t leave me right when he learned the value of honesty. He’s still lying to women and I’m just glad it’s not me this time. He told Sarah that he had been divorced for a year...I wonder if that means that I too am divorced! He told Sarah that his “ex took everything”. Well, I didn’t TAKE anything, he left it all when he left me. Then he implied that I cheated on him. Notice that he didn’t have any specific accusations, he just implied it. He said that I stayed out at night...and the only time I did that was when I was doing stand up and I BEGGED him to come watch me. I didn’t know that those evenings were his time to call his girlfriends.

So, he lied to Sarah big time but that’s OK, because Sarah lied like a rug herself. You’d think that he would start to get the message after a while, but he doesn’t. My e-affair with Rick is over...but here is the correspondence from our short-lived relationship, in the order that they took place, starting with his first email to Sarah:

Hi, I really like your profile. I just moved her in june from back east to take care of my mother. I'm just getting settled in and looking for a friend to start and go from there. If your interested, write back.

Hi! I enjoyed getting your e-mail and look forward to learning more about you. Your profile says that you came here for your family, that's nice. How old are your kids? I am about to leave for a short vacation, but I will still be able to e-mail you. Maybe we will get to know each other really good before I get back. So, where did you move here from?
Sarah

Hi Sarah, It was nice of you to respond. My Is Rick,my mother has COPD,it's a breathing disease.I don't know about good son it's just thr right thing for me and her.I was born in Helena and i grew up in the Great Falls area,I have 2 sons 27,23 they live in Virginia. I'm jealous (taking vacation),hope you enjoy yourself. So tell me a little more about self.
Rick

Rick,
Nice to meet you! I am going to Idaho to visit my mother. She isn't doing too well either so I go to visit her once a month so it's not really a vacation per se, but I am actually taking my vacation this time to visit her and I will be there for a week. I'm leaving after work Friday, it's about a 5 hour drive. Virgina huh? I have never been but I've heard nice things about it. So, you are an electronic technician? Do you fix computers? I could use a person who knows about them! I have so many problems with mine. I was widowed 10 years ago and I remarried but it turned out to be a huge mistake and I got out of that one quickly. So, now I am just a single mom again. I moved here to get away from my ex, he is still in Idaho and I am hoping that he doesn't find out that I'm there when I go. Do you have MSN or something that we could chat on? How about a picture of yourself? I'd like to email you again but I hate going through this thing because I get a bunch of IM's when I come on. Would you like to chat with me?
Sarah


Sarah,It's nice to meet you. So how old are your kids? If you would like to email me direct it's ************,I know about those im's i hate them.I would love to chat with you,right now i use my dad's computer but i'm over there everyday and he has msn messenger and i also use my computer at work. My next purchase is going to be a computer,my ex got everything so i came up here with just some clothes but that's okay because i can always buy material things,just having piece of mind and being with my family is worth it. As soon as i can find a picture i will send you one.Well guess i better start working,talk to later.
Rick

Dear Sarah,
Yes you can download any of them,I haven't used any of them so i don't know which one is the best,I know my stepmother has msn messenger. I've been divorced for one year and i figured it's time to meet someone to enjoy different things with. How long have you been divorced? Girls, I hear there pretty tough to raise, I kinda wished i had a girl but my boys were no picnic.


It is a beautiful day isn't it, I went home for lunch and didn't want to come back.I came up from Atlanta,Ga I lived there about 10 years and before that New York and then Virginia, We moved there when i was 12. Well glad i have your email and will talk to you later.
Rick


One year? Oh what fun. What happened if you don't mind me asking? I have been divorced for 3 years, it was pretty bad. Like I said, I was widowed before and I lost all of my widow benefits by marrying a drunk. It didn't work because I don't drink. Well, I do, but maybe two or three tops but that's rare. What do you do for fun? I have pretty much kept up my camping skills. That's so nice, just being up in the mountains. I sit here looking at them all the time wishing I were up there. Well, maybe after I get back from Idaho. You can't dance? I hate dancing. I hope you don't want to ever go dancing.
Sarah


It just seemed that i was the only one trying and kept getting accused of cheating for the last 5 years which i wasn't but isn't that what they all say but i feel it was the other way but i'm not sure but she did stay out very late alot of nights so i just could take it anymore. And no i don't think i will want to go dancing. I do love the outdoors but i haven't kept up on my camping skills so maybe you can help me out there.I just started working out again and i guess i just like the simple things but open for anything.

Dear Rick,
Yes, the simple things are all I need. I'd love to take you camping. I work out, too. Where do you work out? I've been on both ends of the trust thing, where I wasn't trusted and where I had a hard time trusting. I don't know which is worse. I know what you mean waiting up all night. My husband would lie to me about where he was and I had a hard time trusting him because of that. Then he didn't trust me, but I think it was mostly his drinking. I'm glad you don't want to go dancing.


So you're kids are grown? Will they be visiting you any time soon or will you go see them? I'm sure you must miss them.
My brother-in-law is an electronics technician and he works on computers, but he is too far away to help me figure out how to work my webcam. Do you know anything about them? Also, when did you want to try to chat? I'm leaving late Friday night after work or early Saturday morning to go to Mother's, so Thursday night or Saturday night would be good for me. I'll be at Mother's all week until the first of October. Hopefully I'll get home Saturday and have Sunday off before I have to go back to work on Monday.
Looking forward to chatting with you, hope to hear from you soon.

Sarah

Dear Sarah,
I work out at the glacier gym,my boss knows the owner and it's close to work so i go right after work. Yeah I miss my kids but they have there own live going,you know how that is in your 20's,maybe next year i will go vist them.I would be happy to try to help you with your computer. So if we chat tonight what would be a good time? For me it would be after 7:30. Just let me know.

Rick

Rick,
I started writing you an email and when I did, I accidentally hit something and it disappeared! I don't know if it went to you or if it just disappeared. I have been to Glacier Gym, wouldn't it be funny if we knew each other! I still don't know what you look like. Where do you work? I work at Peak Real Estate, I am going to take a course in Real Estate in about a month. I'm so excited about that. It does make me mad that if I had never married again I would still have my widow benefits. My first husband was in the Air Force. He was a pilot and he was killed in an excercise and I had enough benefits to where I would never have to work again. Oh well, we live and learn! I can be here at 7:30, if I'm late, I'll email you. I was going to use my daughter's name but she said that if I did, all of her friends would IM me so I am going to create another one when I get home. Then, I'll email you to let you know the name and I will make sure that you know I am gonna be there. OK, I have to get back to work, look forward to chatting tonight!

SarahWell I'm 6'2" about 210 pounds have brown eyes,brown hair except on top where there's a bald spot as soon as i can find a picture i will email it to you. I work at ********* the only repair shop in town,when i moved here i just called them up and ask them if they were looking for experienced tech so that's how got the job, next month i will be starting a second job at ****************.I'm sorry to her about your husband i have alot of respect for pilots,I was in the Marine Corps and my brother-in-law is a 1st Lt in the Army,but sorry to her about your ex, we all make mistakes it's how we deal with them that matters. Well it sure is nice emailing you and looking forward to chatting with you, have a great day.
Rick

OK, there it is...and no, I don’t feel the least bit badly for doing it. He has screwed me every chance he’s had and I like getting a bit of my own back every once in a while.

See ya,

Meg

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I made a mistake and did my dishes...

...and it totally woke me up so now I’m up at 2:38 am and I figured that I might as well just stay up until 3 and watch my favorites television program, Cheaters. I get such a kick out of the cheater people and hearing them all say the same thing, “How dare you do this to me! I can’t believe you put me on television." Cheater/liar people have the ability to become acrimonious and self righteous while they are totally betraying another person and wasting the one life that they get.

I think that they are showing some questionable people on that show. They rarely have married people and now it seems that occasionally, the cheater people aren’t terribly attached to the cheatee. But, they never come out and tell the other person that they don’t want to be around them. That’s the wicked and cowardly part of it all, isn’t it? They don’t ever do any real investigating of anyone and that’s how that Joey Greco dude got stabbed. Did you see that? Some guy just came up to him and stabbed him while they were on a boat. It looked just like he punched him in the stomach so I didn’t figure out that he had been stabbed right away.

I’d like to be out some night and see the Cheater’s cameras, not on me, of course...but I’d like to lead a chant or something like that. I’d be all, “CHEATER! CHEATER!” That’d be fun.

Ooh, I was at a bar shooting pool one night like 20 years ago. I didn’t notice that there was something going on and I was telling the guy I was playing to “SHOOT! SHOOT!” When I did, he looked at me like I was nuts and pointed to the front of the place. I'm shouting to "SHOOT!" and there was a guy with a gun near the front door. He was robbing the place. I just shut my stupid mouth and eased on into the Ladies Room. That was scary.

This is great, now I’m missing Cheater’s. I’ll be right back.

OK, I fell asleep watching it so now it’s tomorrow. Well, I guess it’s really today, whatever. I was just watching The View and I noticed that all of the women there seem to be losing weight. What’s up with that? Did they go on some group diet or did one lose 5 pounds and then the rest were jealous? I hate that show. There’s something about a group of women yakking over each other that just irritates the hell out of me. Who’s idea was it to put a bunch of women on TV and let them just yak, yak, yak?

Well, I’ve sort of overslept but after staying up until 3 am, I guess I should have slept a little late. I have a bunch of errands to run so I am going to take a shower and get out to do them. I think I’ll take the dog with but I won’t be taking him into PetSmart this time, remember the big surprise he left there last time? I have to get another Molly, the other two died on me. On second thought, maybe I’ll get something that is more hardy than the Molly’s.

I’ve got a huge surprise for you guys, I can’t tell you what it is right now because I’m still working on it but I promise you, it’ll be good. I wish I could tell you now but I’d mess up my whole plan so I can’t. I love surprises, don’t you? Well, this is a super good one and I’ve been working on it for a month now, I can’t keep my mouth shut until I’m finished so I thought I would just mention the surprise but not tell you what it is. Damn it, it is good though.

My sister in law sent this to me and I thought that you guys would like it:

Paul Harvey Writes:

We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better.

I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.

I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.

I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.

And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.

It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.

I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.

I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room,but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.

When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.

I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.

On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.

If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.

I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.

When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.

I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.

May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.

I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.

May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.

I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.

These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.

Written with a pen. Sealed with a kiss. I'm here for you. And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you.

Isn’t that cool? I thought it was. Well, I hope you’re having a great day and I’ll see you later!

Meg

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Wednesday, September 21, 2005

My house is all clean now...

...and I’m waiting for my father to get here with his ex-wife. If you were reading last spring you might remember that I had a big problem with her when she came to “visit her cats” and ended up staying for a few weeks. She will only be here long enough to sleep and eat brunch on their way to Florida so I can tolerate her for that long.

I do worry about my father though, he is 71 and a HALF! He has no business caring for a woman so sick but I think he’s probably lonely enough to want to do it. He was trying to get me to move to Florida which I had considered but if she’s going to be there requiring a bunch of care, I don’t know if I would be in so much of a hurry to move there.

She has Alzheimer’s on top of a few other serious illnesses so she certainly is a handful. Being a nurse, I get called for all illnesses and I don’t mind when it’s family, but I have never really known this woman, she and my dad were married when I lived in another state and our entire relationship consists of a few short visits plus her extended stay of last spring.

One night when I was in bed, there was a loud knock on my door and I looked up and just had time to turn my head toward the door when it opened. When it did, there was a flashlight shining in my face and a cop behind the stupid thing holding the flashlight. That’s what I got for sleeping in my room that night, I wanted to get away from her. When I didn’t entertain her, she would do stupid things like call the cops. I could handle it most of the time but every so often, I truly needed a break. I feel for people who have to care for such relatives indefinitely.

I worry about my father dealing with it too. I think that at the very least I will be visiting Tampa often. And, now that BOTH of my sisters are down there, I can visit them as well. The last time my father and I discussed my moving down there, I told him that if he had his ex there, I would have to have his permission to walk out of the condo and leave any time that I felt that I needed to. I know he would think that rude but if I didn’t have that ability, it would make me insane. He said he understands so maybe I’ll at least start staying down there part time to see how it goes. That is, if the damn divorce is ever finalized. I am still waiting for Rick to sign away his rights to me so that I can go and start having some fun. Not that I haven’t had a bunch of fun already, but I hate having to say my “husband” when I’m out on a date. It makes me feel uncomfortable. The divorce changes my name back to Broderick but I won’t be able to use that name until I get all of my ID’s switched over. I don’t have the spare cash to do that right now but I hope to get my maiden name back soon. I think I’ll keep it for a while. My father always told me not to go near men who had a vowel at the end of their last names so I know I don’t want this name...it has a vowel at the end of it.

You know, I can’t imagine how I will be able to trust anyone else anytime soon. What with being married to a chronic prevaricator and seeing how men react to my ass picture, I am beginning to think that my mother was right to spend her life single after her divorce. She always said how nice it was to be able to come and go as she pleased. The longer I am alone the less it bothers me, I actually kind of like it. I have friends that I can call and if I don’t want to be alone I don’t have to be. I still have a freezer full of Hot Pockets but I also have some stuff frozen to make meals with. I’m able to cook what I want to cook. For years I had to cook everything bland for Rick because he hated onions, peppers, mushrooms, any vegetable except peas and corn. He liked chicken, cow, pig, peas, corn and potatoes. I made so many meals with diefferent combinations of those ingredients that I'm sick of them all. When we first got married I would cook two of everything, like two meat loafs or two pots of chili. After a while, I got sick of cooking two of everything and just started making stuff the way he liked it. Now, I can cook whatever I want to cook. I can eat salad for a meal or just have a bunch of fruit. Every so often I would try to cook really healthy but I couldn’t with Rick because of the foods that he liked. Now, I can pack the fridge with fruit and just grab a bunch of grapes or a bowl full of berries when I'm hungry.

My dad is easy to cook for, he grew up right after the Depression and his family was pretty poor so he will eat just about anything. When he was a kid, onion sandwiches were a treat for him. He’s funny, he loves Sam’s Club and buys everything in bulk. He’ll buy 20 pounds of rice and eat rice everyday for a month. He worries me, it’s like he’s turning into a crazy old man. Well, he was a crazy young man in his day so I guess I should expect that. I’m just glad that he and I are such good friends. Next to my daughter, I think he’s probably my best friend and that’s nice.

Our relationship will have quite a jolt I’m sure with his ex coming down. She was so used to speaking to him everyday that when he was in New Jersey for that reunion and his sister’s memorial service, she freaked because she couldn’t call him. She called me from the hospital last night, apparently, she worked herself into quite a state and ended up in the hospital. I hope this isn’t a sign of things to come. Anyway, my father showed up there shortly after we spoke and I was very pleased that he did.

The memorial service that my dad went to was for his sister who was reported missing last year, spring 2004. Her son is the suspect in her disappearance. My father is in charge of her fiances, she hasn’t been declared dead so he's not in charge of the estate. But, her son is in prison for theft by possession (they found stolen guns in my aunt’s house where he was living when they searched it after she went missing.) and when he gets out, it should be long enough for her to be declared dead. My father is going to try to stop him from getting the estate. Apparently, if you can “prove” that he had something to do with her death, the judge can keep him from getting the money. The burden of proof is lesser than a criminal trial. I forgot exactly what my dad is doing but I think it’s similar to what the family did with O.J. only he doesn’t want money from the son, he just wants to keep him from getting the money from her estate. All of the evidence that they have against him is mostly just the way he acted after she was missing and all of the lies that he told. It’s not enough for a conviction but they have investigated him and found that he was also a suspect in an arson that resulted in the death of one of his ex girlfriends. His mother was his alibi and he, allegedly, killed her.

It’s amazing how much evidence they can have against you and still not be able to arrest you. Someone saw this freak driving away from the woman’s house at the time the fire was started and they still couldn’t bust him. Maybe that’s because of his alibi. My father’s other sister who still lives in Jersey is bugging those cops there trying to get them to investigate the arson case more.

It’s so weird to have an alleged murderer in your family. Of course, I have to say alleged to avoid a law suit but I firmly believe that this bum killed my aunt. I’ve heard all of the stuff that he did like spending thousands of her dollars. He would go to the same gas stations and fill up 5 cars with gas all on the same day. We think that he just pocketed the cash. He also went to Wal-Mart and bought a bunch of big ticket items all on the same day too. We don’t know what he did with those things but they weren’t in the house. He signed her name on a bunch of her checks for tens of thousands of dollars but they couldn't get him for forgery because you have to be able to prove that he DIDN’T have her permission in this state! Isn’t that insane? Anyway, he’ll get his, they always do. Karma is a bitch.

Well, I am going to visit one of my girlfriends tonight to help HER on her computer. People rarely ask me for my advice on such things so this is fun for me.

See ya!

Meg

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Tuesday, September 20, 2005

You know...

...I thought about men who try to find a woman to support them and I wondered if I would know one if I ever saw one of them. Well, I think that I did. I received this email after I replied to this guy’s first email. His first email was just a friendly hello and so was thefirst email that I sent to him. Then, he sent me this:

Hi Meg,
Thanks for getting back to me.
I think if you will take the time to know me better, you will find that I truly do have a heart that is filled with lots of tender loving care for that one special lady.
Unlike most men on that site, I am not into playing games, I am seriously looking for that one special lady to spend the rest of my life with.
Try not to let the fact that we live far apart discourage you because as you may have read in my profile, I do have an excellent work history and great references and would have no problem moving to wherever I find love.
I hope you have a great week and don't be a stranger. I do have yahoo IM under the name of charmingbilly57 and also have unlimited long distance calling whenever you feel comfortable enough to give out your number.

Hope to hear from you soon.

I would never trust anyone who offered to relocate for me in the first real communication. I think that this guy is looking for a woman to support him. Can you imagine, you move him to your place and then he can’t find a job? The next thing you know you have to give him gas money, cigarette money and you have to feed his lazy ass.

The first week he’s at your home, he spends every dime he has on you and he does a bunch of housework, all in the hopes that you will feel lucky to have him...for about a minute. And then he becomes a total parasite. Before you know it, he has soaked you for thousands of dollars and you find yourself on Judge Judy. He brings another woman to court as a character witness...one who he just met and who still thinks he’s a prince.

Judge Judy doesn’t let the woman testify but she berates you for being so STUPID and then she doesn’t award you a dime because you never really had him sign anything. They are so predictable that I can’t believe any woman would fall for them and their crap.

I suppose that there is some sort female of equivalent, a woman who is just after a guy’s money. I wouldn’t know how to see them coming because they never come straight at me like the bum men do. But at least I’m smart enough to see THEM for what they are.

I’ve learned a lot in my man study, even just going out with so many just ONE TIME. I don’t know if it’s because I’m perceptive or because I’ve been around so long that I’ve seen a bit of everything. It’s probably a combination of both. One way or another, I do see most guys for what they are. Unfortunately, there are some really good liars out there. Every so often one surprises me with their abilities.

Luckily though, I did see this one for what he is. Now I’m going to go email him another request for cash and then I have to do the dishes. I hate that, I just did them this morning. Oh well, see ya.

Meg

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I just finished painting my toenails...

...and I was thinking how stupid that was. Why in the world do we decorate ourselves in such silly ways? Why do we paint our toenails and put stuff on our lips but not our elbows? It’s odd that we only decorate the ends of things. We decorate the ends of our legs, arms, even the tips of our nipples. If it sticks out, we paint it with something. Well, not our noses, but everything else that sticks out.

But why don’t we do our nose? I think that we should. We should paint it a color that matches our shoes. I think that would be a good idea. We shouldn't wear brown shoes, we should buy the shoes according to what color our noses are. Maybe we should match our noses with our hair...in that case I think that I should have a green nose to go with the red hair, don’t you? But, on second thought, maybe green is not the best choice for the nose.

I don’t know why men don’t wear make up, some of them would look pretty good with a little mascara and eye liner. I guess the metro-sexual's already do, but I’m talking about the regular guys, the ones that like girls. Have you even gotten a man to put on make-up in the privacy of your own home? That’s always fun. When I was 18 and living in the first place of my own, I got my boyfriend to put on a dress of mine. When he did, the song You are the Woman came on and it was our song after that. I can’t believe that he did that. I wonder if he ever thinks about it or if it’s one of those things that he has a mental block about.

Men would never wear make-up...mainly because it’s a pain in the ass and it takes too much time. Of course, it’s also a female thing so they wouldn’t do it for that reason alone, but it never caught on with men because of the annoying nature of applying it. Since all the other women wear make-up, I have to wear it but I swear, if they would all give up their make-up, I would too. Think of all the money that we would save! Just a tube of lipstick and some blush is at least $10 and if you go to a nice store to buy it, it’s a lot more than that. I don’t go to the nice stores unless they are giving out a free gift with any purchase. I like those things, but I’m starting to accrue a bunch of the bags that you get with the free stuff. My grand-daughter thinks that their purses so I just give them to her.

I don’t know why anyone ever started putting make-up on, we hear that Cleopatra did that but I doubt that she really started it, she probably saw it on some slave chick and thought that it looked good. She had to use fruit juices and stuff like that so it couldn’t have been very easy...not as easy as putting on a tube of lipstick. Even though ours is relatively easy to apply, I still don’t like it. And what’s up with all the lip liner...I don’t remember using that before and now it seems like you have to. I don’t know why. Eye liner is annoying enough. And...it’s dangerous. You can do some serious eye damage with one of those pencils. Why would anyone draw a line on the very edges of their eyes? That’s such a stupid thing to do but we do it.

Then we change the colors of our eyes with contact lenses, that seems kind of odd. I did it once, I bought some green lenses. They were the cheap kind, they were all green except in the middle (so everything that you saw wasn’t green.). The good ones look something like cat eyes and they have clear around the perimeter. But I was in my twenties and just bought the cheapest kind. They floated all over my eyeball so that the sclera was even green. Of course I only wore them the one time, I couldn’t just keep on having green sclera.

We die our hair, paint our faces and nails, wear colored lenses and tattoo ourselves. We poke holes in every part of us even the most extremely sensitive parts of our bodies...YIKES...I saw a woman come out of a shower with a glistening thing between her legs. That hurt just to look at!

I bet it wouldn’t be too tough to come up with another stupid fad, if people will put rings on their necks so that their head is a foot above their shoulders, then what wouldn’t folks do? You know, in trying to come up with a weird fad, I find it tough to beat putting holes all over your body. That’s pretty icky. I have double pierced ears, but I had to drink 3 scotches to have that done. I was only supposed to get one but after all of the Chivas, I didn’t feel it so in a rather tipsy way, I said, "Do it again!"

In the mid 70’s, I went to a movie on a date called Mandingo or something like that and it had some tribal dudes putting wood spiky things through their chests. It was some sort of rite of passage. I remember thinking how stupid that was and I was only 16 or so. It never occurred to me that anyone in a civilized country would go out of their way to push crap through their skin.

But then again, I do put on eye liner so I can’t be too righteous about this crap. But I do think that we should make the men wear it or else we should just take it all off. Even some of the women who burned their bras put their make up on before they lit the first B cup. That was insane. I think we are far too enslaved to our beauty regimes and we spend far too much money on that stuff. Well, I have to go do my fingernails now so I'll see you later.

Meg

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Monday, September 19, 2005

Meg...

...I’m getting married real soon and I am always worrying about how my two kids will act when I do. We both have kids so it could work both ways. How much am I supposed to act as a stepfather...any words of wisdom for me?...

LOLOLOL, I don't know how wise these words are but I think that’s an easy one. I have the only smart solution to that problem. Of course, first the two of you should discuss everything that you do so you’ll be on the same page. After that’s done, you just do this, be pleasant at all times and don’t say a word about anything unless it somehow affects you or your children. Period. Don’t try to act all Daddy on these kids, just sort of sit back, restrain yourself and say the following (I learned this one from Ralph Kramden.), Pins and needles, needles and pins, it’s a happy man who grins and grins! Say that about 10 times and you should be good to go.

Seriously, don’t say a word, let the natural parent discipline their own kids. Slowly, as time goes by, you will get a feel for what the natural parent expects out of you and you can sort of adjust accordingly. But, when all else fails, just remember, if it doesn’t affect you or your kids, LEAVE IT ALONE!!!!!!!!

Another thing that you’d do well to remember....don’t let your new spouse drive wedges between you and your kids. It happens so easily...to mothers and fathers...they just somehow let the kids fall by the wayside. Sometimes we let stupid things happen mostly because we aren’t really paying any attention. The little things that we do today are the habits that we set for years to come. So, we should really assess our families and the dynamics going on in them every so often.

I wish that I had paid attention to such things before I married Rick. The fact that he could just disappear out of the kids lives after years without so much as a good bye, tells me that I was right, almost 20 years ago one Sunday morning when I thought that he might not have his towel wrapped too tight.

We were lying in bed talking and the kids were watching television, you know, like you do on the weekends. Every so often, one of them would come running into our room to rat out another one of them. Sometimes they traveled in pairs but the message was always the same, “He hit me!”

At one point Rick got sick of that he shouted, “The next kid that rats on another kid gets spanked himself!”

So, when his son inevitably dismissed his father’s empty threats and ratted out my one of my kids, Rick spanked my kid but not his own. What a bum he is.

Red Saab convertible guy told me that his ex and her new husband had an agreement, when my friend has to speak to the mother of his kids about anything, he has to speak to the new husband and it works the other way, too. When the new hubby’s ex wife needs something, she must speak to red Saab guy’s ex-wife. Isn’t that insane?

I learned the hard way that I couldn’t impose my will onto Rick’s kids. The only way that ever works is when both parties are extremely mature and reasonable. If they stand together as a couple in the eyes of the kids, the kids are so much better off. Far too many people are so selfish that they want the new spouse all to themselves. The only people that they don’t mind sharing the new spouse with are their OWN children. I’m stunned by the numbers of men that I’ve known that put up with a wife who verbally abuses his kids at best and physically abuses them at worse. The kids should never be put into a situation where they have to compete for their fathers’ attention and love.

I’ve seen some men who were mean to their step-children, but not as many. I don’t know why that is and it certainly isn’t a scientific study, but I think that men get a bad rap in most situations when they don’t deserve it. I know that isn’t a politically correct thing to say but luckily, I’m not a politician so I can say what I want to say without too much fear of retribution.

OK then...an old, old, old blog buddy of mine sent me this. I thought that it was so true. There are some that I find truer than others and I have highlighted those that I can relate the most. The phrases highlighted in purple remind me of Rick (purple is for his favorite football team, the Vikings.) (You know, I started that but far too many made me think of the mistakes that I made with Rick that I just had to stop.)

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was nottreating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't"be friends."A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle.
If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationshipis you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant,why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are, even if he has more education or a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man!!!
If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage, deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you, a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...notsupplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes.
Never move into his mother's house.
Never co-sign for a man.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other ladies.....You'll make someone SMILE, another RE-THINK her choices, AND another woman PREPARE.

OK, that's it for now, see ya later!

Meg

Send any comments to: Meg.Kelso@gmail.com

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Sunday, September 18, 2005

This fake profile has done so much good...

...sure a few men have been rather rude because of it but it has certainly proven a couple of the men who write to me...MEG...and then write to Kelli...the fake lady, to be liars. There is this one guy to whom I have been speaking for a couple of weeks. He seemed nice enough and even proclaimed himself to be...“One who gives his word..and keeps it.” He even told me that he would, “...never lead anyone wrong...and would not make you feel special just to have sex with you....”, whatever that means, but I assume that it has something to do with being an honest person.

So...I get this email from him today that said in part, “Please do me a favor and look at this person who just messaged me...Kellik female of course....would you post a pic like that?” So, he is telling me that a woman named KelliK “messaged” him? I know what that means, he’s telling me that Kelli IMed him. Kelli never IM’s anybody because if she turns on the IM”s, she gets inundated with them. But, to give him a little bit more rope, I answered him, “She MESSAGED you? What does that mean? What did she message you? Now, you are the honest one, right? I was just making sure.” I had to double check to see if he would answer the questions about Kelli IMing him AND tell me that he was honest, both in the same email.

He has no clue that I am Kelli, he is just trying to get me to participate in a Kelli bashing party and I am not going to help him there. I will, though, let him put himself way, way, way out on a limb and then I’ll cut the damn limb from the tree and watch him fall.

So, this was his answer to that question, “...she sent me a message on this site...a silky little ass shot...not exactly what I would expect from an introduction...but hey...at least it looked good! but does anything match a redhead? I have only heard...never actually dated one...yet...”

So, he doesn’t know that Kelli is indeed a redhead as well! OK, now I am going to let him tell me all about this girl who is after him. This should be good. Kelli never sends anything to anyone. The guys write to her, I spend enough time answering the emails, I don’t have time to solicit anyone. So, he has outright lied to me in a big way. What a nimord...LOLOLOL. Well, I told him that lying was a deal breaker, so I will never go out with this one. But I will let him dig his grave a bit deeper. Rick lied like this too, for absolutely no reason, he just opens his mouth and out comes the bullshit.

It could be worse, I could be emailing the guy who wrote this in his profile:

Now then, as for my love life…..You may find this a bit hard to believe but I never had sex of any kind until I was 33 years old. I wanted to wait until I was married but doing shows on the road all the time made that impossible

Anyone who can find a situation where sticking to his own morals is “impossible” has far too many issues for me.

See ya,

Meg

UPDATE:

Meg got this email from the liar dude:

I have gotten every kind of pic sent to me by women...they get naked and just snap away. This was tame by comparison. Obviously she was horny. One woman messaged me...on yahoo...she looked me up...and get this...she was chained to her bed...her master was away! Not kidding. It happened. WHy she looked me up...I have no idea. I don't mention d/s,s/m, pretty tame in my profile. I am not a sleazy guy in any way. So this one was pretty wild. You must have gotten some wild stuff yourself.

And this is what she said back to him:

Well, yeah...I have gotten some wild stuff. But, I have found a way to sort through the liars! You just post two profiles, one is the real you and the other one a shot of your ass. Then, you can sit back and watch the men tell you one thing when they are talking to the real you and another thing talking to the fake you. YOU, on the other hand, have done something new and improved. I've never had a man tell me that Kelli wrote to him! Kelli doesn't write to anyone, she just sits there and lets the men come to her. You are the first one that has lied to me and said that Kelli wrote to him. Kelli, by the way, has red hair and she isn't horny, she's just really damned smart.

Now, we’ll see what he says to that!

Send any comments to:

Meg.kelso@gmail.com

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