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Monday, April 30, 2007

I began this blog...

...when the wounds that my husband inflicted were fresh and raw. It's been a while now and I've gotten on with my life. I still occasionally mention what I went through but only when it serves to prove a point that I'm making regarding something a bit more topical than a 2 year old divorce.

Now, I find myself reading the blogs of others who are still smarting from the break up of their own marriages. I was comparatively lucky, my kids are grown and they have their own lives now. This divorce did not include the typical manipulation of the children and the use of them as living weapons against me...at least not as badly as it would have been if they were younger.

When I hear of situations in which a child is being used by one parent to abuse the other parent (which of course abuses the child more than anyone else), I get so angry that you'd almost think it was happening to me. Lately I've been trying to catch up with the blog of a gentleman whose wife is pulling a Kim Basinger on his child. I want to find that hideous wench (Basinger AND my friend's ex) and throttle her about face and then rip her pierced earrings out of her ears. Females like that give the rest of us a bad name and I'm pretty disgusted by them.

I've seen this man called "narcisistic" for missing his son and daring to mention it out loud. I've read his blog and I've read between the lines of his angry rants...recognizing the pain that evokes the words that he writes. Many people think that these fathers should just shut up, pay their child support and stay away. Others don't see what the problem is and they shout about how wrong Alec Baldwin is and how wrong my friend is and how we should "all just get along". That sickens me.

The problem with most of the people who complain about the fathers of divorce is that they have no idea what it feels like to be treated like an old McDonald's cup. They don't seem to get it...they get all sanctimonius and holier than though as though they would smile politely and let someone take THEIR child away.

There's no way that anyone could understand the pain of these fathers unless they've been through it themselves. Well, let me try to put it into some sort of perspective. Say you're watching TV one night after the kids have gone to bed. During one of the many commercial breaks, you decide to go check on your babies. When you open the bedroom door, you peak in to find the beds empty. Your children are gone, without notice and without so much as a big ol' hug around the neck from a little one who adores you.

First of all, how would you feel? Now, later you find out that the kids are safe, but you can't see them without going to court for years and years. Every stupid thing that you've ever done is thrown up into your face and should you dare to lose your temper at any point during this ordeal...that temper is turned against you during one of the court dates. How dare you act all angry...the person who is holding your children has decided that you are a BAD influence on your child. You've always been a loving parent, not a perfect person, just a regular, normal, human being. But every single thing that you've ever done is thrown in your face in front of some self-righteous judge, DFACS jack ass and "child counselor" that now has the power to say when you can and can't see your kids.

If you tell me that you would smile politely and say, "That's OK, I had some other things to do anyway...keep the kids.", I want to say YOU ARE FULL OF SHIT. You, like any other parent, whether that parent be another human or a father lion or even a mother grizzly bear, are going to do what comes to all parents instinctively...you're going to come out fighting with everything you've got for your child.

Anyone who has ever lost sight of their kids in the mall or at the grocery store knows that hideous feeling deep in the pit of your gut that you experience at the moment that you realize the child isn't right next to you. Try living with that feeling day in and day out for years and years.

We are born with an inate desire to protect our children. Nature, God, or whomever made us put that feeling in us so that we could protect our species. We're born with the will to fight to the death to save our children. THAT...we understand. What we are not born with is the ability to chat nicely with the people who have taken our children. We're born with the urge to kill if we have to...just to save our kids. But, in a divorce, that instinct doesn't help us at all. We have to find a way to hide that animal urge that is inate in all of us to protect our kids. Mothers and fathers alike have that urge. It sickens me when I see people who think that only mothers have that instinctive urge to be near their children. Fathers are as protective as mothers are and they deserve totally equal rights in child custody matters. Maybe a nursing mother could take priority, but once an infant is weaned...dad is just as capable as any mom. Period. I find it revolting that the courts refuse to recognize the love that a father has for his children.

Furthermore, I find it despicable that everyone jumps on the father who, after years of pleading with incompetent judges and nasty "mothers" like Kim "THE BITCH" Basinger, finally breaks down and loses it in public or on a video (or audio) tape. After years of being called a rotten father, without any evidence, just a lying wench's word...the father slips and makes some assinine comment. Now, the mother points to the father and says..."SEE! I told you he was an angry jerk!"

I hope that the Baldwin episode is the beginning of a new era in divorce litigation. I hope that the issue of Parental Alienation Syndrome will become as well known as the methods that females use to manipulate the courts when attempting to abuse the system in an attempt to hurt the fathers of their kids and the kids themselves. These selfish females are rarely the best parent for the kids because they NEVER have the child's best interests in mind. They think of nothing more than themselves and the child's feelings be damned.

I'm getting irritated just thinking about this crap. When you have some time, read this man's story, it's the story of one father out of millions of fathers who are out there aching for a chance to love their own children:

Domestic Relations Disaster: It's enough to drive someone crazy...

Yeah, it is enough to drive one crazy...at least it's enough to make one do something that they would never have thought of doing before their child went missing from their life.

When you hear people saying terrible things about a father...remember that sick feeling that you got when, even if it was just for a moment, your child was lost to you.

I shouldn't have to say this but I will. Obviously I am not talking about abusive situations...just the regular fathers out there who love their kids and want nothing more than to be with their children, even if it is only every other weekend.

Meg

By the way, don't tell me how abusive Baldwin was. That divorce has been going on for 6 years and this is the first time that Basinger has found anything to use against him. How far did she push him over the past 6 years to evoke such a reaction? I can only wonder.

3 Comments:

Anonymous John said...

I consider myself a wonderful dad..my then 16 yr old daughter chose to live with me when I divorced her mom, and now my 11 (then 6) year old has chosen the same. That being said, if someone had been taping me during one of the many times my now 20 yr old tried my patience (okay, really p*ssed me off), then I would have been accused of being verbally abusive also.....You're right, Kim has tried all this time to find some crap on him, and this is the first thing she's turned up.. Alec is being unjustly crucified...

April 30, 2007  
Blogger SolarisGal said...

sounds like someone needs a good ol' fashioned ass whoopin'

April 30, 2007  
OpenID mkg4583 said...

It not just dads that face Parental Alienation, its moms, too! The argument that moms are the only ones that alienate their children is not true. Parental Alienators are bullies. Bullies can be either moms or dads, but they all suffer from Personality Disorders.....

http://mkg4583.wordpress.com/2009/07/22/severe-sociopath-behavior-leads-to-parental-alienation/

Mark

September 17, 2009  

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I just got home from work...

...and I'm too exhausted to think of anything at all except going to sleep. So, since I didn't want you to have nothing Meggish for today, I decided to rerun a post that I wrote a couple of years ago. Here it is:

Oh my word...

...Funny we were just speaking about Fahrenheit 451 and the way that Bradbury was warning us about a time when everything that is said or written is offensive to someone, I made the point that WE ARE AT 451!

Well, this evening I heard on the news that Ireland is banning the word “brainstorming” because it may offend epileptics. But, don’t worry, they have a replacement idiom for those who might dare to brainstorm and then discuss it.... “Thought showers.” Some of you have heard that as well and the rest of you are thinking that I must be making this up. Oh, I wish I were...it’s pretty funny until you realize that someone is serious about this. They took time out of the job that they get paid to do and they made the decision that to brainstorm was an offensive thing. Well, I submit that these people have a brain cloud and far too much spare time on their hands.

Besides, they have stopped far short of their mission. There is still the possibility that some thoughtless dietician might see fit to serve kidney beans to a dialysis patient or liver and onions to someone with sclerosis. And how dare we worry about the “legs” on our tables while so many people have casts on their own lower appendages. We should have “artichoke focal points” instead of artichoke hearts and “lady digits” instead of lady fingers in case an arthritic cardiac patient should read a menu. While we make those changes, we should also strike sweet onions (diabetics), Po’ Boys (welfare recipients) and jelly rolls (men with love handles) as well. We also need to stop using terms like “Flaky Pastry Dough, (that one offends me personally) “pot roast”...might give the kids ideas. And one more thing: Don’t you think that “fruit” and “nuts” are outmoded, archaic utterances? And how could we be so insensitive as to use the word “bladder” right out loud instead of “receptacle of a liquid” while so many women are buying Depends nowadays? And you know, I have hay fever so I resent being given a “nose gay”...what would a lesbian with a cold think of such a thing?

My legs were very long and very thin when hot pants were fashionable and I consider it an affront to hear the word “sticks”. It takes me back to a time that I would just as soon forget. I think I should discuss this with an attorney, nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen, nobody knows my sorrow.

There is very little verbal territory that wouldn’t be offensive to someone, I think we should use hand signals from now on rather than to risk being attacked by daily onslaughts of such dogmatist terms as short ribs, ugly ducklings and heavy duty.

I think things have gone a bit too far when a man can lose his job and reputation after using a term like “niggardly” simply because it SOUNDS like an offensive term. Oh, wait, the “N” word can’t be offensive, so many minorities use the word themselves. Chris Rock can say it over and over again in one evening but I would imagine that Jerry Seinfeld would have a tough time working it into a joke. So, people aren’t really censoring the word itself, they are actually just censoring who can and cannot say it with immunity.

What an interesting world it is that we live in.

Well, I hope that those Irish folks are doing well after their Thought Shower...I for one feel safer knowing that such an inflammatory word has been replaced. I’m sure that the English language is now safe and sensitive....yeah, fat chance. Ooh...my bad...did I just offend overweight people? Yikes, I'll have to be more thoughtful in the future.

Have a lovely day!

Meg

1 Comments:

Blogger Lara Croft said...

I coudn't agree more.

May 01, 2007  

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Sunday, April 29, 2007

JQ...

...Did you just give away some important info with this comment?

"C:\Documents and Settings\[userid]\Application Data\[vendor]\[pgm]\" in Vista this has moved to C"\USERS\[userid]\APPDATA\[Mode]\[Vendor]\[pgm]\".

I suppose that anyone who could hack into a puter would already know that. What I really don't get is why in the world people would go out of their way to fuck up a strangers' computer. I just don't understand the thrill there. Am I missing something? What would they gain from that?

Meg, it's common knowledge that porn sites are full of spyware, which will make your puter crash constantly.

Apparently you're right. It was also common knowledge at Montgomery Ward's that Rick was screwing Noreen Murray...but I didn't know that either.

So Rick might not be guilty, or maybe he was. Only the hard drive knows for sure. Oh and what a treasure trove of data windows leaves behind.

Oh, he was. I followed the highlighted links that he had taken to find free porn. I doubt that he would pay for it...but obviously I didn't know him as well as I thought I did. I still have the hard drive that he left behind...I DARE you to come and show me what else was on that sucker! I DOUBLE DARE YOU! (See photo below)

Never cheated, even when she treated me like crap. Quit the party life before marriage. Always provided well, even when our little company went bust. And here's my payback. Two years and counting in court. Help me understand that one Meg.

Well dude, I would if I could but I can't so I won't. You're asking someone who was dumped on as badly as you were. I gave him close to 25 years of my life that I'll never get back. That's my LIFE we're talking about. I never, ever would have given my life to someone that I wasn't planning on spending all of it with. I let the affairs go because I vowed before God that I would stay with him for my entire life. Like a jack ass, I thought that if our marriage survived the affairs, it would be stronger for it. How's that for stupidity?

I just got a call from the scheduler at work and they need me to work again tonight. I already know that I'm working tomorrow night so this will be a long stretch for me. My contract calls for me to work 60 hours a month. I work that most weeks. Our hourly wage is based upon the number of hours we commit to work. I'm going to change my contract to 108 hours a month. That would add 10 bucks an hour to my wage. I've been thinking about it for a while now and I like the idea. If I did that...the extra $10 an hour would pay for my taxes so that I would actually make the amount that I'm making now only without any deductions. I don't have much else to do with my time, I might as well work my ass off. I like my job...a LOT.

The only problem is that I feel as though I'll never get to play with my new computer. Or maybe I will, but it won't be new anymore. Sniff, sniff...sniff-sniff.

OK...that means that I have to go to bed now. I had planned on hooking my camera up to this sucker (without any sound, I never did find my mic.) but now I don't have the time.

YIKES!!! I just looked at the time! I have to get up in 5 hours...good night ya'll!!!

Meg

OK, the following post is the same as this one...I couldn't fix it so I reprinted it...skip forward to go to the next post. I hope this works!!!!

1 Comments:

Blogger JQ75 said...

Ahh Meg, going for my weak spot...
Man I just burst out laughing the way you are trying to play me... ROTFLOL. Do save the hard drive, I may just get down there. In the meantime, I'll have to collect my data forensic tools.

I need to get away, it's been too long.

That isn't too much a giveaway because if you try to follow those paths, especially in Vista, you'll hit a dead end. You have to go into Explorer a few levels deep and disable some security to see the rest of it.

I debated and decided to replace my laptop, got an excellent deal, it will pay for it self by saving less than three hours legal time. But it came with Vista and they changed all the innards, so I had to spend a day at a big computer store finding the best Administrator Reference Books (Resource Kit and Secrets). So now I can load all my stuff back to it and should be good.

Why would someone want to screw up a strangers computer? Well they are a tad screwed up themselves.

Why would a mistress get the hubby and still be stalking the wife and her friends? Tad screwed up.

See a pattern. It explains a lot.

They can monitor machines remotely, see your screen as you do, even take over your keyboard and type things in or open and close your optical drive. If you ever see that hit the power plug.

Some actually do it for profit, trying to get info for identity theft, but lots of them do it as a prank, kind of cyber vandalism from the comfort of their easy chairs next to their bag of chips.

I asked you on the off chance that you had an idea. Stupidity, no. People who love, trust, give another chance are moral, not stupid. Give yourself the credit that he didn't.

April 29, 2007  

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JQ...


...Did you just give away some important info with this comment?

"C:\Documents and Settings\[userid]\Application Data\[vendor]\[pgm]\" in Vista this has moved to C"\USERS\[userid]\APPDATA\[Mode]\[Vendor]\[pgm]\".
I suppose that anyone who could hack into a puter would already know that. What I really don't get is why in the world people would go out of their way to fuck up a strangers' computer. I just don't understand the thrill there. Am I missing something? What would they gain from that?

Meg, it's common knowledge that porn sites are full of spyware, which will make your puter crash constantly.

Apparently you're right. It was also common knowledge at Montgomery Ward's that Rick was screwing Noreen Murray...but I didn't know that either.

So Rick might not be guilty, or maybe he was. Only the hard drive knows for sure. Oh and what a treasure trove of data windows leaves behind.

Oh, he was. I followed the highlighted links that he had taken to find free porn. I doubt that he would pay for it...but obviously I didn't know him as well as I thought I did. I still have the hard drive that he left behind...I DARE you to come and show me what else was on that sucker! I DOUBLE DARE YOU! (See above photo)

Never cheated, even when she treated me like crap. Quit the party life before marriage. Always provided well, even when our little company went bust. And here's my payback. Two years and counting in court. Help me understand that one Meg.
Well dude, I would if I could but I can't so I won't. You're asking someone who was dumped on as badly as you were. I gave him close to 25 years of my life that I'll never get back. That's my LIFE we're talking about. I never, ever would have given my life to someone that I wasn't planning on spending all of it with. I let the affairs go because I vowed before God that I would stay with him for my entire life. Like a jack ass, I thought that if our marriage survived the affairs, it would be stronger for it. How's that for stupidity?
I just got a call from the scheduler at work and they need me to work again tonight. I already know that I'm working tomorrow night so this will be a long stretch for me. My contract calls for me to work 60 hours a month. I work that most weeks. Our hourly wage is based upon the number of hours we commit to work. I'm going to change my contract to 108 hours a month. That would add 10 bucks an hour to my wage. I've been thinking about it for a while now and I like the idea. If I did that...the extra $10 an hour would pay for my taxes so that I would actually make the amount that I'm making now only without any deductions. I don't have much else to do with my time, I might as well work my ass off. I like my job...a LOT.
The only problem is that I feel as though I'll never get to play with my new computer. Or maybe I will, but it won't be new anymore. Sniff, sniff...sniff-sniff.
OK...that means that I have to go to bed now. I had planned on hooking my camera up to this sucker (without any sound, I never did find my mic.) but now I don't have the time.
YIKES!!! I just looked at the time! I have to get up in 5 hours...good night ya'll!!!
Meg
I've found the first problem with this PC...I can't for the life of me get the post to put spaces between the paragraphs...I've edited it 5 times and it won't stay edited. I just don't understand things like that...does anyone out there know why this won't save?

15 Comments:

Blogger SolarisGal said...

Wow, what a beautiful woman - if I were a guy, I'd ask ya to marry me! But do you think that KissMeKate and Lara would settle as my mistresses? Sorry to Lara as she's heard this line before LOL

April 29, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Aw...ask Rick...he'll tell you that I'm easy to fool.

April 29, 2007  
Blogger Lara Croft said...

LOL at Sol

April 29, 2007  
Blogger JQ75 said...

Ah Sol, gonna be a sailor and have one in every port?

April 29, 2007  
Blogger Eliza Doolittle said...

Meg -

Out of curiousity, how are you connecting to the 'net? 'puter to modem? 'puter to router to modem? Wireless or wired?

April 30, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Eliza,

There are a bunch of wires behind this thing so I'm not sure how to answer that. I do know that I pay Comcast for my cable TV and my computer...does that help?

Meg

April 30, 2007  
Blogger Eliza Doolittle said...

Oh My. Find the thingie that looks like a phone cable that plugs into the back of the computer. Where does it go?

April 30, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

After checking behind the monitor for a while, I decided that you must mean the big box-like thing that the monitor is hooked up to. I can't get back there. I have a modem...does THAT help?

I totally admit to being ignorant of all things computer. BUT...I'm one helluva nurse! And, I have to run and go act like one right now! See ya!

Have a great day!

Meg

April 30, 2007  
Blogger JQ75 said...

There is a tremendous difference between a (phone) modem and a cable modem.

Your monitor should be plugged into your CPU case. Any modem would also plug into the case too. DSL and phone service are even harder to differentiate, but DSL is not likely being offered by Comcast.

Broadband (cable high speed) would have a coax cable (single copper wire, covered in 1/8 plastic, surrounded by silver wire shielding, surrounded by thin black plastic insulation, with a screw connector) into a cable modem which will then connect to the PC with an ethernet (Cat 5, 6 wire) RJ-45 jack.

Plain Dialup will have a 2 or 4 wire RJ-11 jack (standard telephone) plugging into the case or an external analog modem. The analog modem is connected by 15 wire serial connector to a COM port on the case. Plain dialup runs significantly slower.

DSL is a digital service provided over regular phone lines if you live close enough to a Central Office (CO) and it has the needed equipment. DSL requires filters on voice lines and has a standard jack going into a DSL box with an ethernet connection to the case.

So much for the hardware. on the software side, when you connect to the internet, you should see a speed. If it's less than 56Kbps then it's plain dialup (or a badly malfunctioning broadband LOL). If it's much higher it's probably broadband and there are several levels of service, you'd have to check with Comcast to see what level you have.

If you are on Vista, you have a 2 way firewall automatically, not great, but OK.

If you have XP SP2 you have a 1 way firewall automatically, not adequate to protect against trojans and Identity Theft.

If you have XP SP1, by default the firewall is off. It should be turned on or replaced by s third party (2 way) firewall.

If you click "Connect to" then "Show all network connections" you will see the connected and firewall status. It should say both words, if it doesn't say firewalled, then it's wide open hunting season on your PC.

May 01, 2007  
Blogger Eliza Doolittle said...

JQ - you took the words right outta my mouth! I myself have two firewalls...was trying to figure out if Meg has herself adequately protected!

May 01, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Eliza,

I just left a comment on your blog telling you that my computer is "fard wired" but has wireless capability. Now, what else do I need to know to be protected?

Meg

May 01, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

JQ, Where is the "connect to" button?

See? I NEED you to come and show me how to work this thing!!!!

Meg

May 01, 2007  
Blogger Eliza Doolittle said...

Girl, if we ever do meet in the Square for a drink I'm following you back to your house to fix you up properly!

If JQ doesn't beat me to it :-)

May 01, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Fard...LOLOLOL. HARD WIRED

May 01, 2007  
Blogger JQ75 said...

Eliza, there may be enough for both of us...

Hard wired high speed ethernet is going to beat wireless. Wireless fits for convenience. For example I'm going to add a wireless access point so I can sit in a lounge chair on my deck drinking Ice Tea while Blogging.

For Vista, Click "Start", the "Connect to" is in the right column. Right Click your connection, Click Status. On the General Tab You'll see the speed.

I just noticed that the Firewall info is buried a little deeper in Vista. I don't have that info offhand, but I'll get it (if Eliza doesn't first).

So the hard wiring, (FARD?) is it six wire ethernet to a cablemodem that has a coax input?

Maybe you'll have to send us some close up pictures in the mean time.

At least until I see your enchanting smile in person. ;-)

May 02, 2007  

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Saturday, April 28, 2007

Oh yeah!

That's what we were talking about! Solaris reminded me when she commented:

"..hmmm I wonder.... what was the reason your puter was screwed up in the first place...hmmm I wonder, no really... ROTFLOL..."

When we first got my old computer, it worked great, for about 2 weeks. Then, it started slowing down, screwing up and just plain booting me off. All I could think of was the stupid programs that Rick had downloaded to "protect" the puter. No one in the house was dumb enough to open email from a stranger, no one did anythig particularly stupid, as far as I knew. All it could have been was the anti-virus crap...right? Well, apparently not.

It seems as though a mutual buddy of mine and Solaris's bought a new computer and her boyfriend quickly trashed it by going to porn sites. I didn't know that was an option. If I had, I would have realized the problem immediately.

Although Rick denied that he ever did such things, there are 2 things going against him here. First, he's a big, fat liar. Second, I once left the house to go to the store and when I got to my car, I realized that I had forgotten something. I went back to the house (I hadn't been gone for more than 3 minutes.) and when I walked into the bedroom, I found Rick in there whacking off to the half ass reception of a cable porn channel that we didn't get. Twisted, slanted, snowy women with moans interspersed with the staticy sound that you get on those channels had enchanted my husband so much that he just couldn't help himself. I guess he was just waitinhg for me to leave the house so that he could run into the room to "meet" his dates for the afternoon, Francis Fuckme and Brenda Blowjob. If I were him, I would have watched until he drove away instead of plopping his ass down in the middle of our room with his back to the door. I watched for a moment dumbfounded while I took in the amazing sight.

I did catch a few porn sites on the OTHER computer and Rick had promised (LOLOLOLOLOL) that he wouldn't do that anymore.

So, that is my evidence, members of the jury. Yes, that man of mine was trashing the computers with his wild and crazy "almost" women. I think I'll put a sign up on my desk reminding everyone that this is a porn-free computer. I'll hook up the old one for all the horny bastards that can't seem to get real women and leave it in the back bedroom. MY computer is perfect and it's going to STAY that way!

OK...I have to get ready for work now...see you all in the morning! And remember, JUST SAY NO TO PORN....online or on some fucked up sex channel that you don't get!

See ya!

Meg

5 Comments:

Blogger Littlewing said...

Meg, it's common knowledge that porn sites are full of spyware, which will make your puter crash constantly. Even without the porn sites being watched, it is good to have a spy sweeper. I use Webroot, it is well worth the money! Lots of sites actually have spyware attached to them! Even sites you would never think would. I hate spyware! Your story about Rick watching that damn site just cracks me up, that is so pathetic!!!!

April 28, 2007  
Blogger JQ75 said...

Not sure how long ago that happened, but these days (as I posted) your computer is attacked literally minutes after connecting to the internet.

I did a new installation and was amazed at how quick the attacks came in, I quickly turned on the XP firewall (turned off by default until SP2) and still the attacks came. Not until I installed 3 security tools did it stop. The 4th tool is cool, it lets you counterattack the hacker.

What sites did I visit? My ISP, my email (has several apam defenses, and I didn't even open any, just connected), and some financial institutions for my litigation. Not to pornographic.

Now I will say that visiting porn will get you attacked 100 times worse, but you literally just connect and the trouble starts.

High speed, always on. Better be protected, or you'll be a vegetable overnight.

Why? Script kiddies, port scanners, advanced hacking tools, requiring little more than basic windows knowledge and access to a warez site.

If we're talking about the same mutual friend, in my town? Has anybody heard from her? If she's still letting AK play on that machine, she'll be ready to buy another new one soon. I posted, my offer stands, I'll lock her system down for her, no lectures.

What do you do with a system screwed up by dubious access. Depends how bad. Fix it or reinstall.

Fixing it requires several tools in each class to catch it all and virus is not the only class anymore, there's spyware, trogans, backdoors, firewall, and rootkits. The advantage of fixing it is your stuff should all be there.

Reinstall is guaranteed, but its some work. First an image backup with file level restore ability. Sample restore to make sure it works. Then format and reinstall. If you don't have disks, that sucks, by a harddrive at a licensed dealer to qualify you for an OS OEM license. After the install, then reinstall all software, then reconnect your data (not always easy for XP or later).

After XP, software stores things in system hidden folders under "C:\Documents and Settings\[userid]\Application Data\[vendor]\[pgm]\" in Vista this has moved to C"\USERS\[userid]\APPDATA\[Mode]\[Vendor]\[pgm]\".

See no matter what crap software came through, the hardware didn't really break, crap software got installed and it's consuming resources.

In fact windows is so fragile that even installing lots of legit programs, which vendors do before you even get it, can cause it to run like a dog.

So Rick might not be guilty, or maybe he was. Only the hard drive knows for sure. Oh and what a treasure trove of data windows leaves behind.

It takes more than delete or reformat or fdisk (disk admin) to get rid of data. Give me a disk that was just reformatted, and I'll show you a half dozen ways to get it all back.

You need a multipass shredding program. The entire disk must be overwritten multiple times with random data patterns.

April 29, 2007  
Blogger mylifeatfullspeed said...

Actually Meg...it's not just porn sites that infect your computer with spyware, malware, and other such wonderful goodies. There are a large number of mainstream (non-porn) sites out there that load all sorts of crap into your computer as well. Many are very large, well known, frequently traveled sites. Browsers such as Internet Explorer let them in and turn a blind eye when things are snooping where they don't belong. The second you go online using IE, you WILL have crap finding it's way into your computer. I understand Mozilla browsers (Firefox and SeaMonkey) are much less likely to allow anything in, definitely not intentionally.

As someone who creates sites in many parts of the web (even the seediest of neighborhoods)...your problem isn't porn, it's also popular shopping sites, anything that offers something for free, anything downloaded or visited from any number of countries and a billion other possible entry points that I've not seen because I don't hang out with the people who do that. I do, however, work with a lot of porn webmasters at a design and programming level and it's not all the porn. It's the FREE porn sites, which are made by the same mainstream lowlifes who make FREE wallpaper sites, FREE ringtones, FREE games, (you get the point now) etc.

So, if something is free...keep it as far away from your computer as possible. That is how this crap has become so widespread, most people see FREE and feel compelled to click.

So, how do you protect yourself? Not with the "popular" solutions. Norton and McAffee are total hijackers, and anything new MS comes up with can't be trusted either.

All the webmasters I know use TrendMicro's Housecall, SpyBot, and AdAware. There could be other things out there but I don't need protection for my computer, so I don't pay too much attention.

Oh, and run all those before you go anywhere on the net, especially to Microsoft's update sight ;) You'll be glad you wrapped that rascal before touching their site.

And if you are concerned about your PC being slow...you got Vista, right? That could be the major problem right there. The laptop that hubby got has Vista on it. It's a bogged down, incomplete operating system and I'm about to delete it all and install XP Pro on it. I have to use the laptop to do some remote work with a client once a week. It takes 3x as long as it should because of Vista's lag and the wonderful "security" it supposedly has. I do like the ability to go back and restore the operating system to a certain date, but so far...that's all it's got going for it. LOL

Sorry for the book. Just thought I'd share some knowledge.

And I didn't include links so this wouldn't end up in the spam box. If you want links, I can send them to you.

Take care!!

:)

April 29, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

I wouldn't have spammed those links...I just lose the links people send in to harrass you guys. Anyway, I WOULD like you to send them to me. at MegKelsoBroderick@gmail.com.

Thanks girl!

April 29, 2007  
Blogger JQ75 said...

Good points mylifeatfullspeed, a great feature of mozilla thunderbird email (I'd never open up outlook) is that it detects embedded graphic links back to the sender and if the sender isn't in your address book it suppresses the link. Otherwise you simply view the mail, while the graphic is rendering, you've linked back to them and identified yourself as a valid target.

Windows firewall is turned off in XP SP1, is on in XP SP2 but is inbound only, in Vista it has some outbound but isn't robust, so a third party firewall is advisable even on Vista.

If you're trying to run Vista Premium with 512M or low graphics it could be Aero. Could try the classic theme.

Also a good third party firewall should take over and turn off Microsoft's which should reduce that annoying "Cancel or Allow".

And ready for this, the geek squad offered to clear off all the crap that they pre-load on the new computer to make it run 20% faster. I said let me get this straight for $70 you'll make my new computer run like new? Thanks for the tip, I'll do it myself.

Better scoop up those OEM licenses fast, Microsoft will be yanking them from the channel.

April 29, 2007  

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Of all the days...

...to end up working late, I didn't get out until after 9 this morning. I walked home...it seemed like a good idea at the time. After the second mile, my knee started hurting so I called my father to keep my mind off the pain. So, it took me 45 minutes to get home. What a lovely day to hobble down the street. I won't be doing that again anytime soon.

So, here I am, sitting at my beautiful new computer and I'm far too tired to do anything but explain to you why I haven't hooked up the camera yet. I wanted to use the camera that I already had but I can't find the microphone. I need to buy a new one with a mic built in.

OK then, I'm exhausted and I have to wake up in 6 hours to go back to work. I don't work tomorrow night so I will be able to play with this thing tomorrow...maybe I'll go out and get the camera too.

I must now go take my swollen knee and lie it down at one end of the couch and lie my head at the other end. Oh, Solaris, it's a Hewlitt Packard monitor with a Compaq computer. I was going to talk about our converstaion yesterday but I'm too tired to remember what we spoke about. OK then, ya'll have a great weekend...I'm going to bed now.

Meg

2 Comments:

Blogger SolarisGal said...

cool - now you can help me program some of my consulting work!

hmmm I wonder.... what was the reason your puter was screwed up in the first place...hmmm I wonder, no really... ROTFLOL

okay that's enough - sleep tight babes.

April 28, 2007  
Blogger JQ75 said...

Sol, ya need some programming, what kind???

April 29, 2007  

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Friday, April 27, 2007

I'm really, really getting frustrated...

...I have to work tonight and I don't even know how to open the stupid box. I'm afraid I'll break something. It's a nice box...but it's huge. I have to wait for my son to get home to hook it up and when he DOES get home, I will be walking out the door to go to work so now I won't be able to so much as look at my new computer until tomorrow.

Damn, this is like being a kid on Christmas Eve and the tree is surrounded with presents that I can't open. Actually, it's worse because this box isn't wrapped up, I know what's in it, I paid for it myself, I'm 48 years old and I STILL can't open it! Oh well, I guess I can be an adult and wait until I get home in the morning. Of course then I'll have to go to sleep because I have to work again tomorrow night.

When I get home, if the kid set it all up properly, I'll make my first video as soon as I walk in the door. I will have been working all night and I'll look like crap...but the first cartoons didn't look that great either. The more I think about it the more I realize that I will be sleeping and working all weekend so my kid will be playing with MY new toy all weekend. Sniff, sniff.

I have to take a shower and make sure my uniform is ready, I'll be back after I get everything ready so that I can just relax for a while before I go in to work. I'll be back in a little bit. I haven't even watched the news yet so if something happened since I last saw the news I might run back here and talk about it...if this stupid computer will let me.

Oh, someone made a comment down there somewhere that he hadn't heard of Parental Alienation Syndrome until recently. It was identified by Dr. Douglas Darnell and it is a true syndrome and a very sad, sad thing to see. It's also thought to be relatively uncurable at some point so it's important that fathers (or mothers) not let it happen, or at least fight like a mongrel if you see it starting.

OK, see ya!

Meg

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Thursday, April 26, 2007

I did it...

...I bought myself a new computer. There's one small hang up, I don't get it until tomorrow. I did buy it, paid in full, but the Circuit City guys are going to put all the software on the thing and they also have to fix the computer so that it will allow me to use a web cam with it. The PC that I bought has Vista for an operating system and for some reason, that isn't compatible with web cams. So, they'll do something to it that will let me use one.

I paid extra to have the computer all ready for me to just plug in. I can do that. They're also going to be putting the security stuff on it and a few other things that I wanted. Basically, they're installing all the software that I bought tonight. Rick used to work at the Circuit City service center so I said that I was his wife and the guy remembered him. He worked with him at the service center but obviously he quit before Rick got arrested on the job for being violent...now that I think of it, they went there twice. Once for popping me in the face and the other time, he threw a table at me as I was running away from him. He had pulled all the phones out of the wall but, unbeknownst to either of us, the first 911 call went through so the cops came anyway. It was the Monday after my Friday cancer surgery and in the struggle, blood was oozing from my incision which was on my neck and the cops thought that he had slit my throat. They took one look at my bloody neck, my bloody leg and my pathetically emaciated body and then they looked at my 6'2", 230 pound husband and took him away toot sweet.

Anyway, I told the guy that I was Rick's wife (Rick, Sahad says hello.) and they said that they would have it ready first thing in the morning. The guy said that he would start it tonight and pick it up as soon as he gets in tomorrow. I need to pick it up as early as possible because I have to work tomorrow night so I need to take a nap in the afternoon.

All together, everything that I bought cost me a little over $1,100 but there's well over $300 in rebates so I guess it'll end up costing me a tad over $800. A computer dude friend of mine is going to take the old computer, wipe out the hard drive or something like that so that I can give it to my son.

I can't wait for it to be up and running! I bought the components seperately because I wanted a certain monitor that was high definition and large. It's almost twice as wide as this thing. They didn't have that one in stock so I have to go to another store tomorrow and pick it up. It's not too far from the store that has my computer so it's not a big deal. That monitor was just too cool...I couldn't even think about getting a smaller one after I saw that one. The picture was so unbelievably good that I just had to have it.

Oh well, I can't use my new puter tonight...sniff...but by the weekend I will be coming to you in person with that web cam. For now...I'm going to look up Vista and see what operating system I bought.

See ya soon!

Meg

7 Comments:

Blogger JQ75 said...

Oh, Meg, and just when I was looking up cheap flights. Sorry I didn't catch you in time. Hope the new one does everything you want.

If you want a second opinion on what can or can't be done, let me know. I've rescued computers people swore were dead meat (like my laptop that my son knocked over). I even reconnected all the old email to a new PC.

My son gets a kick out of riding this glass elevator up 5 floors. I told him, I've got to take you to the Atlanta Peachtree and take you on the mother of all glass elevators.

The other day, I showed my son an old teletype terminal, the spacebar key wouldn't stay in. I was making dinner and he came running downstairs, "Daddy I figured it out, see, that metal piece came out of the slot and was in the way". "Great job", I told him (he's a chip off the old block).

So, sometime the two of us could swing by, he could take care of the simple stuff while we talk.

I'd be LOL, except I just remembered the 10 mile court ordered travel limit.

April 26, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Aw heck...tell the kid it's a nine mile trip but since you have to fly over a mountain, it just takes a long time to get here. I could always use some help with this thing...or that thing...or the other thing. If I listed all the crappy shit that has gone wrong in my house (and out of it for that matter) it would take a long, long time. That's why I decided to set my sites on a contractor. I need one badly.

By the way, I haven't gone on that elevator yet!

:):):)

April 26, 2007  
Anonymous Cheryl said...

Hey Meg,

Ok forget the Geek Squad, I say you should just find yourself a hot computer geek. I always find them useful ;)

Cheryl

April 27, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

LOL, well, it sounds great in theory but I thought that a "hot computer geek" was a contradiction in terms. BUT...if I see one, I'll play with it for a while!

Aw hell, he doesn't have to be hot, he could be really really warm.

:):):)

April 27, 2007  
Blogger JQ75 said...

Ahem, Meg, you are baaaad...

Besides how do you know until you've tried one...

Haven't been to the peachtree, oh ya gotta. Hey the rooms are nice too, with that wall of windows and the view.

April 27, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Well then, come and take me. I was married to a guy who would never have thought of taking me somewhere like that. OK...I'm waiting!

Meg

April 28, 2007  
Blogger JQ75 said...

Oh, Meg, careful whatcha ask for...

I'm lookin for any excuse to split this town for a while.

And an enchanting smile and a dare may be all it takes...

Go figure. We honneymooned in Cancun, I took my wife with me on business trips, took her to St. John for my brother's wedding, took her to Europe for a month on our fifth wedding anniversary, bunch of other places. LA, NYC, Baltimore, Niagara Falls, Orlando.

One trip to DC, we stayed in a very nice place where they were filming ("Pelican Brief" I think), actors everywhere, one time we came out of the elevator to see the crew in our hall and got a high sign to wait while the scene finished. She was all gaga over that.

Never cheated, even when she treated me like crap. Quit the party life before marriage. Always provided well, even when our little company went bust. And here's my payback. Two years and counting in court. Help me understand that one Meg.

April 29, 2007  

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I give up...

...I hate my computer so it's history. I'm going shopping for a new one this afternoon. My only problem is that I don't know how to hook the sucker up. I was able to figure out VCR's...maybe I'll be able to figure out how to hook up a computer.

The only things I want off of this computer are some pictures and some things that I wrote in the word processor. Does anyone know how to save things like that? I can save the stupid PC and stick it in another room but that seems like an awful lot of trouble to save pictures and articles. I'd rather put those things on the new one.

Anyway, I'm going to ask the sales person for a computer that would allow me to make videos that I can put on the blog. I don't know what that is, but I want one. So, if I can get the new computer hooked up tonight, I should be making videos tomorrow.

I'm almost afraid to even go behind the desk and try to unplug this dumb thing. Rick hooked it up and nobody has so much as touched the wiring since. I suppose I can do it all myself, but it may take me a month or so to figure it out. Anyway, I'm about to go and get ready to go out and get the new computer so if anyone knows how to save things off of this one, let me know soon.

Before I leave, I'm going to wander around online to see who has the best sales right now so I can go straight to that store. OH! A thought just occurred to me...once I pull out this desk, I'll have to clean behind it! Oh damn, I'm not going to have a good evening. Whatever, I can't keep fighting with this computer, I spend more time trying to sign on than I actually spend online. I would love to beat this one with a baseball bat.

OK then...I'll be back after I get my new computer hooked up but I will be looking to see if anyone knows how to save stuff. I need to save the stuff that's in 2 programs, the picture program and the word processor.

See ya soon!

Meg

6 Comments:

Anonymous Cheryl said...

Hey Meg,

That's easy! Just plug in a USB memory key and save your files onto that (drag and click files from old hard drive to the USB drive). You can then transfer the files onto your new computer's hard drive by just plugging in the USB key. As for the videos, you can do that with any computer. You just need a webcam. And it's relatively easy nowadays, what with youtube and all.

Oh yeah, I don't know about Georgia, but the Best Buys here have a service called "Geek Patrol". Maybe they could help you hook up your computer? Good luck! :)

Cheryl

April 26, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Cheryl,

Thank you so much for the info! I don't know what that thingie is but I wrote it down and I'm gonna ask for one. OK then...I'm off to the store...I was going to go to Best Buy and Circuit City to compare prices and if some geek wants to come over I'll be happy to let him in the door!

Meg

April 26, 2007  
Anonymous John said...

Stay as far away from the Geek Squad as you can...www.bestbuysux.org for some horror stories.
Cheryl is right about the usb thingy..

April 26, 2007  
Blogger SolarisGal said...

I was thinking...your old computer, which Rick bought, should go to the Smithsonian.

April 26, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Hi John!

No worries, I never got to the Geek Squad because I bought my new computer (and the thingie) at Circuit City. The only thing that I don't like is that I don't get the computer until tomorrow. I bought it tonight but the Circuit City guys are going to put all the software on the thing and they also have to fix the computer so that it will allow me to use a web cam with it. The PC that I bought has Vista for an operating system and for some reason, none of those are compatible with web cams. So, they'll do something to it that will let me use one.

OK, now I'm going to post this stuff because I have so much to say...at least it seems like a lot...so I'm going to put this all in a post.

Thanks for the help, I didn't really want to keep the old computer for the stuff in it.

OK, see you up top!

Meg

April 26, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Solaris,

Yeah, I'm sure it would qualify for some sort of antique status. But it's almost gone! Now you'll have to come and show me how to use it.

Meg

April 26, 2007  

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By the way...

...I was wondering how long it would take before Hillary started acting like the next "black" President. She's done it. While speaking to a crowd of black peole, she changed her accent to sound like a homegirl. I would find that to be extremely offensive if I were a black woman. We'll know that the campaign is in full swing when Hillary and BJ Billy start going to churches (black and white) and coming out arm in arm.

Watch for Hillary...she's coming to a church near YOU!

Meg

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Meg...

"...In fact, I'm not afraid of life itself - just like you told me, "life is not always good, you have your good and your bad, and your good and your bad..."And you're damned right! Let me take life as it's handed to me, I can do it..."


Yeah, that's something I figured out relatively early in life. Things go horribly wrong and sooner or later, you get past the bullshit. Life is sweet for a week or two then something new and improved comes along to smack you in the face. That, too, will disappear only to be replaced by another disaster. We pretty much live our lives from one disaster to another and then we die. That's not meant to sound defeatist, it's just the way it is. It's how you handle these uproars in your life that make a difference.

When I was a kid, my mother hung a plaque made by her mother made that had the Serenity Prayer on it. I read it a thousand times as a kid before I understood it. It's truly a good thing to remember when you go out and face the world every day of your life.

I meet people, mostly Type A personalities, who are constantly worrying about something. I can't stand to be around them. They worry about bills that need to be paid, they worry about their jobs or their housework...anything that they think needs tending. If there's something that you can do to fix your concern, by all means, fix it. If there just isn't a damn thing that you can do, fuck it. To do more and to worry often is so non-productive. You could accomplish a college degree with all of the worry you put into things that you couldn't possibly change.

Life is a challenge, that's all. Sometimes it's more challenging than others, but it's rarely easy. A deep breathe and a good book will cure many an ulcer if you let them. I guess since I've always worked with dying people, old people or just plain sick folk, I see how bad life could be so the stupid stuff isn't so hard to deal with. If you have your health, you truly have everything because as long as you're healthy, you can always start over and stalk your goals like a madman. Anything you want is yours...if you want it badly enough.

"...Meg, I am so sorry that you have to go through this, believe me, it is not my intention to see you get cursed/yelled at and falsely accused..."

That's exactly the stupid stuff to which I was referring. I left home when I was 18 and ever since then I've been married to 3 men who cheated on me, a couple of rather abusive bastards and I've suffered a few serious illnesses. I've had brain surgery (talk about a headache!) and I was given a 50-50 shot at survival twice. I've buried 2 of the most important people in my life, one of them being my mother. Do you really think that this crap is even a blip on my radar?

When I was raising the kids alone and going to college, people asked me how I did that. My answer was, "I just put the blinders on and do what has to be done." It worked when I was 23 and it works now. Of course, sometimes I have to remind myself of these things, but for the most part, I'm pretty thick skinned.

So, don't worry about her bugging me, I surely don't. I told you that my father is an attorney and he tells me what to do to protect myself in any situation that I happen to be facing. I do what he says and then I watch Jeopardy.

Although I wouldn't do this at night, yesterday when I got home from work, I laid down on my couch and fell asleep immediately. I didn't expect to fall asleep that quickly so I didn't shut the front door. I slept for 7 hours on my couch, in my living room, with the door wide open and the phone 20 feet away from me. No one would get past my dog so I know that I was safe, but I put so much of my bullshit in the hands of someone else so that I don't worry too much.

And, I don't wish anyone harm, I don't have to. I don't have to retaliate because I know personally that karma is a bitch and life is as much of a bitch if not more so. It's not just me, no one is immune to the ups and downs of life. So, when you worry that some nit wit is getting the best of you...forget about it. Life will be as "challenging" to them as it has been to you.

"...It's more than a game for her. You, Sol, and whoever else need to cut her off..."

I've taken steps to protect myself, it would be counter-productive to blog about them. But trust me, I'm good here. JQ is right, this isn't a game for the nut. She is totally obsessed with everything Solaris. There's only 1 possible reason, that behavior is better than her other option. She either lives her life happily and gets her fulfillment from that or she does this insane crap. She had a choice to make and she weighed her options. This was the best she could come up with. So, obviously, her life is not good enough to provide her the satisfaction that she needs so she's come up with this twisted game. She seems to want something that Solaris has...maybe it's a marriage license, maybe it's just decency. But she certainly doesn't have enough to do with her own life so she seeks to fill in those gaps with nasty, mean and psycho behavior. Does that bug me? Nope. I don't think about it when I'm not on the blog.

You know, I've been hearing a LOT of support for Alec Baldwon lately. That truly makes me feel so optimistic about father's rights. We seem to have needed a famous person to bring this hideous issue to the forefront (Parental Alientaion Syndrome) and perhaps now the country will hear more about it. I know what Alec did was over the top but I also know how a person can be provoked into doing things they NEVER would have done when they're being treated so unfairly. JQ mentioned a time in court when he made a comment that he thought was descriptive and it was taken as rather threatening. He's a reasonable guy...what could anger him so much? Like we mothers, fathers will do what they can to be with their kids. I don't know what in the world makes a mother think that she has parental rights and feelings while the father has none. If someone tried to keep my kids away from me...I'd be more than upset and I would surely say something that would offend someone. Anyone who thinks they are above Baldwin's behavior just hasn't been pushed enough...yet. So, don't throw too many rocks at him, your next house may be made of glass.

OK, now I have some work to do and then I'll pop back in. My dog seems to miss my other dog. he has taken to spending a LOT of time in his kennel. He's always gone in their to take a nap, but he's never spent so much time in there. I have to get him and take him for a walk to the Battlefield and let him have some fun today. I wish the skies weren't so overcast, but they might clear up this morning. I'll be back in a while.

See ya!

Meg

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Blogger SolarisGal said...

Thanks for that. By the way, I really like your stories and experiences!

April 26, 2007  

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Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Meg...

"...I really want to get folks's opinions. So I'll sum up my question from my blog - if a woman is assertive and strong and opinionated, why do other woman mentally classify her as a bitch?..."

First of all, there is a difference between an assertive, strong woman and a bitch. I admit to being a bit of both but I know when I'm being a bitch as compared to being an assertive woman. I guess you'd need to define the terms here.

Although some people do call an assertive woman a bitch, most of those people are intimidated and they don't know how to handle being intimidated, especially not by a woman. So many people are used to seeing women be relatively mild. When they see a strong one, they aren't used to it and they don't understand it so she MUST be a bitch...right? Otherwise the other person has to admit the truth...that this is a woman who speaks her mind and the people who do call her a bitch ARE intimidated by her. It's always easier to blame someone else for one's own shortcomings.

I think that a bitch is a person who does things strictly to hurt a person. It's perfectly fine to be assertive, strong and opinionated...to a point. I tried to raise my daughter to be a strong woman without turning her into a bitch. It worked quite well. Once you can no longer honestly rationalize why you're doing what you're doing...you might want to consider the fact that you just might be a bitch.

A bitch does things for one reason and one reason only, to inflict pain of some sort on another person. Our resident bitch here has been calling a friend's job and harrassing her boss. There's no reason for that. It's not like my friend is a waitress who forgot to bring a fork, this is a woman whose husband the bitch stole, that's all. Why would she take time out of her day to do things like this? No other possible reason except to inflict embarrassment and try to get our friend fired from her job. Only a bitch would do that...there's not a damn thing assertive or strong about her behavior.

Motive pretty much tells you whether you're a bitch or a strong woman. If your motive is a reasonable one that helps you and doesn't hurt anyone else, you aren't a bitch...you're a strong woman.

You mentioned "women calling other women" bitches. I don't think it matters whether or not it's a woman or a man doing the name calling, it's not a nice thing to say about someone else. Some people use the word often and call EVERYONE a bitch and then some use the word correctly. I like to think that I use the word correctly...even when it's me doing the bitchy stuff.

The bitch that I was speaking of is most assuredly a bitch. She gets angry at her elderly in-laws when they speak to me. I have to speak to these poor people and then keep it a secret because if I don't, the nut will complain to everyone that will listen to them. She has always been manipulative of my children and she's just plain nuts. You'll have to trust me on this one, I wouldn't want to get her to prove it.

So, what do other women out there think? For that matter, what do the men think? So much has to do with the way you were raised so not everyone is going to find the word as offensive as others may find it. How do you folks define a bitch as opposed to an assertive woman?

Now...every bit of me aches from working all night and I'm exhausted so I'm going to lie on the couch and stare at the ceiling.

See ya later!

Meg

3 Comments:

Blogger ReallyEvilCanine said...

On bitch: "I can't define it, but I know it when I see it."

OK, that's not completely accurate. I think you pretty much nailed it with your description: intent. Since this entry came as a result of Eliza's comment, I'll add that women are usually seen as "bitches" by female cow-orkers who believe the bitch to be using unfair tactics to get ahead, whether they are or not. Such perceived tactics generally include flirting or sleeping with a higher up and back-stabbing colleagues and underlings. Such is life in business.

I'd lost your link and forgot about the blog so I've spent the last hour trying to catch up. The piece about fathers getting screwed was excellent, as was the Dear Abby piece. Keep it up.

April 25, 2007  
Blogger SolarisGal said...

lol, she's not going to intimidate me, Meg. Not especially since I'm not doing anything wrong.

In fact, I'm not afraid of life itself - just like you told me, "life is not always good, you have your good and your bad, and your good and your bad..."

And you're damned right! Let me take life as it's handed to me, I can do it - especially after listening to the troubles you've overcome.

My only grief is her calling you drunk in the middle of the night and then forwarding you some kiss ass sorry ass email the following morning. ROTFLOL

Have a pleasant evening, Meg
xoxoxo

April 25, 2007  
Blogger Eliza Doolittle said...

I think, in my specific case, the co worker in question was being so incredibly mean that my mind automatically gave her that label.

I spoke to her later - and it didn't matter to her that the people she was pissing off were people I have to work with every day as part of my job (we are in different departments). She had an objective that she was going to get done, regardless of anything I might say or do.

Dudes and duddettes, I expect that kind of behavior from a man, not a fellow co worker!!!

April 26, 2007  

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Tuesday, April 24, 2007

A blog buddy writes:

"...However, I do know that men can and will alienate their children from women as well. I have been legally kept from my children with NO VISITATION for SIX YEARS! False accusations and what appears to be political connections were my estranged husbands silver bullet!..."

Yes ma'am. That's why I try to qualify every comment with, "I know that the other sex can do it too, but this is MY experience." So, I know exactly what you mean. I never forget that there are 2 sides to that situation.

I'm just curious, girl...was there a female involved in any way? My other ex and I got along great after the divorce. Hell, we signed our divorce papers at a lovely resort where we spent the occasion....for a long weekend. We got along just great. If the kids needed anything, he saw to it that they had it. Whatever, no problems.

Then, when he was 34, he married a 16 or 17 year old. She was so dreadfully jealous of me that she behaved like a...TEENAGER! I gave her time to grow up...didn't work one bit. I thought, wait until she has a baby...but, once again, it only got worse, now she wanted everything for HER child. And the really insane thing is that this nut and I have never, ever lived in the same state since she met my ex. AND...I havn't seen her since my daughter's high school graduation and that was in 1997. She STILL can't stand me. I seem to frighten the poor thing.

So, although my ex is the one who really messed me up, just remember that behind every asshole of a man stands a bitch of a female. So, I repeat my original question...Was there a female involed?

Meggers

2 Comments:

Blogger Eliza Doolittle said...

Meg -

Ok, I want an opinion. I just wrote a long ass rant of my own about why women are willing to classify other women as bitches (at least, in a work capacity). And since the brunt of your readers appear to be female, I really want to get folks's opinions. So I'll sum up my question from my blog - if a woman is assertive and strong and opinionated, why do other woman mentally classify her as a bitch?

April 24, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

I LOVE this topic and I will address it when I get home from work in the morning...I should be tired, cranky and yes, maybe even a tad BITCHY by then!

Meg

April 24, 2007  

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I thought that I...

...had taken my phone number off of this thing but a little wopig seems to have found it. There are some people from whom I don't mind hearing and there are some people from whom I'd rather not hear. The worst of all people to hear from is anyone calling me drunk.

Solaris' little wopig has taken to sucking down massive quantities of liquor and then proceeding to call innocent sober people. I hate when that happens. Especially when a person is too drunk to reason with.

There was no reasoning with this whacked out drunk...so I hung up. I had to do this about 6 times before she stopped. At first it was sort of funny because I was insulting her well. But, my insults fell on deaf ears and I didn't want to waste any of my best stuff on that fool.

See ya!

Meg

11 Comments:

Blogger Eliza Doolittle said...

Uh, I thought Solaris's little wopig was knocked up?

Although it wouldn't surprise me if she was drinking while pregnant.

April 24, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Oh no. She had her tubes tied 20 years ago.

She was just trying to get under solaris' skin with that shit.

Meg

April 24, 2007  
Blogger Jaded said...

Maybe Solaris has no recourse, but if the skank keeps calling you, get a restraining order slapped on her ass. She seriously deserves it.

April 24, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Oh yeah...for sure. I'm certainly keeping notes with dates and blah, blah, blah. I also have to consider that when I file a stalking charge, I have to bring the blog into it. The legal community doesn't appreciate my blog very much. A couple of cops have made that perfectly clear to me. I'm not saying they wouldn't help me, they would. I just wouldn't want to draw anymore attention from the coppers.

But, I absolutely WILL if I have to.

Until now I say to her have a nice day...freak.

:):):)

April 24, 2007  
Anonymous lara said...

Clearly all is not well with colon and Sols STBX if she is getting drunk and calling you

April 24, 2007  
Blogger SolarisGal said...

WEll, Meg, I am so sorry that you have to go through this, believe me, it is not my intention to see you get cursed/yelled at and falsely accused.

Oh by the way Meg, I meant to ask you, did your boss speak to you about Colleen's email - the crazy one making all those accusations she sent to your other job? Also, how did she find out where you work?

Man, she's really on a roll - blasting out emails and calling half the world!

April 24, 2007  
Blogger JQ75 said...

There's a simpler option, it's kind of old tech. Call your phone company and report it as harassing calls (they are!). They can either put a trace on your line or many areas have a *nn number that you dial, it traces the last incoming number and sends it to the police.

Boy, she must be real happy, still googling SolarisGal (saw it in my site stats, told Sol about it), getting drunk and harassing Sol's friends. Sounds like her boytoy is getting to be more trouble than he's worth.

April 24, 2007  
Blogger JQ75 said...

That havin my baby line was just so cold and cruel. And to think it wasn't even possible, makes it all the worse.

I wouldn't want to be standing on the same street corner when she gets her Karma payback (might take out the whole corner).

April 24, 2007  
Blogger Eliza Doolittle said...

What a fucking (pardon my french) freak!

Solaris, darling, you are so much better off by yourself than with someone whose ability to judge...horseflesh is obviously so poor!

April 24, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

My phone number has always been on this blog...until today. I've been saving everything she wrote and I told my supervisor to expect something from this blog before the nut ever popped up. I love the email that says "You should get a job!" My boss will like that one, the nut hasn't a clue. Who knows, how she found out, there are only so many hospitals around here. She made the mistake of leaving it anonymous, that always makes them laugh.

Meg

April 24, 2007  
Blogger JQ75 said...

Meg, I posted to SolarisGal's private Blog on this topic. Please read it.

I would be so careful mixing any personal business with work. These days it's a very dangerous mixture. That's why Jaded's advice (and mine too) is to take this seriously and get a restraining order.

This girl is way beyond obsessed, she's dangerous on several levels. Nip it now. Do the *nn and get a RO.

It's more than a game for her. You, Sol, and whoever else need to cut her off.

I also posted here on the topic of an online evidence safety net. It's time to implement it for those being harassed and for her to understand her new level of risk in attacking you(s).

Do not hesitate to email me, I'd be happy to help with that task.

April 25, 2007  

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I called my supervisor...

...and told her that I was ready to go back on the schedule full time. I may regret that soon, but I do love my work. I've had jobs where I would wake up and start scamming a way out of work while I was in the shower. This job is great, I never know where I'll work next and I've had enough experience to go pretty much anywhere in the hospital. One of the nurse managers did put me on her schedule 3 days a week so I will be working on that unit quite a bit.

They have different levels of pay scales at my job, your pay is based upon the hours you commit to working. I had been working the top number of hours for the 2nd lowest level of pay because I was afraid to commit myself to too many shifts. This time, I'm going to go straight to the top. I figure that would at least pay for my taxes. It's amazing how much they take out.

After the holidays I went to working only the hours that my contract said I had to so that I could slow down for a while. Now I have and the weather's nice so I'm going back to busting my ass. At least I'll be working nights. That's not as easy as it could be, but it is easier than working days when the docs and the bosses are all over the place.

If I can, I'm also going to go back to school soon. I may start this summer or next fall for sure. I'm pretty degreed out in nursing so I may actually go to law school. I was discussing that with my father. I love having a goal like that...it keeps me going when nothing else will. That's how I went to nursing school with 3 pre-school aged kids. People used to ask me how I did it. I would say, "I just put on the blinders and do what needs to be done."

Remember when I said (a few times) that I accomplished more as a single woman than I ever have as a married woman? Well, I'm going to do that again. I don't know how long I have to do it but I'm gonna give it my best shot. I'd have some help from family members, my father was an attorney, my son and my brother are both in law school, there are enough lawyers in this family to defend the mob. We could form a small law firm just with the family alone.

They say that living well is the best revenge...which is true but I think that they should add "great success" to that old adage. By the time I'm finished, I'll be doing so well that Rick will wonder how he ever got a woman like me in the first place. He's a nice guy (now that I don't expect anything out of him except cash) so I guess he'll be fine....but I'll be great!

OK, I have to go to the damned DMV today and then I need to take a nap so that I can work all night. I'll be back before I leave for work unless my day goes completely haywire...but I should have a chance to pop in at some point. Have a great day and (as I used to tell my kids when they left for school in the mornings), "Act like you're somebody!"

Meg

5 Comments:

Blogger SolarisGal said...

ooh law school! Go for it girl! Take that LSAT by the horns!

April 24, 2007  
Blogger JQ75 said...

Meg - BALANCE. Come on. You're gonna make me dig up my trauma pics.

Ambition is fine. Don't go overboard. Take care of yourself too. Travel is a nice goal. Working two careers? Law? What the hell are you thinking? LOL.

Come on Meg, don't waste your enchanting smile on burning the candle on both ends. Have some fun too. All work and no play... You know what they say. And you, my dear, are anything but dull.

April 24, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

I wouldn't work two careers, I'd work one and go to school to begin another. There's a growing demand for nurses in the legal profession...I'm not sure why, but I have a few friends who are nurse attorneys. And remember, the more cash you make, the easier your job is!

Meg

April 24, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sure. If you have the morals and ethics of a snake, a well-funded PAC and/or a bunch of "Homies" armed with Uzis, Klashs and the occasional RPG complete with launcher.
(Meg, honey this is gettin' scarier by the minute. And this is only '07!)
TW

May 15, 2012  
Blogger Meg Kelso said...

Welcome to my world.

May 15, 2012  

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Monday, April 23, 2007

So much for working whenever I want to...

...I was working so many hours last year that I had to cut back the hours that I was working out of pure exhaustion. I spoke to my doctor and he said that I could work as much as I felt able to. That's the first time that I've had his permission to work in 3 years. Now I can work at that hospital without being afraid that I would run into him. And, I want to save up the cash to go to Europe soon.

So, I called the schedulers and told them to put me back on the schedule. One of the nurse managers that I work for quite a little bit has asked if I could work 3 nights a week on her unit like a regular nurse instead of a floating nurse. But, I would still get paid for being an agency nurse. It's a unit that I like so I said yes. That means that I'll be back to working like a fiend.

It also means that I will be traveling, finally.

OK, now I have to act like I'm working a LOT this week and clean up my house. See ya later!

meg

4 Comments:

Blogger SolarisGal said...

cool! Can Lara and I tag along? We won't bother you I promise!

April 23, 2007  
Blogger JQ75 said...

Hey me too, I've been to Europe twice, a month each time. I'd be happy to go along, scare a way strange guys, help you with your luggage... I wish I would have taken some breaks in college to go there. It's so cool, so different, just can't get enough of the place. My passport is up to date, ready to roll.

On a serious note, I sent you email a long time ago, when you started shift work, about my nasty experiences off shift. We should talk some more. At our ages, regardless how fun and charming we can be (wink), that shift work plays hell on your body. My trip to level 1 trauma was an interesting way to find that out, but I'd rather not repeat it.

Take care...

Hey I'll still talk about Europe with you even if you decide you want to go it alone (frown).

April 23, 2007  
Blogger Lara Croft said...

No we will be really good promise and not bother you and JQ too much heheheheheh

April 23, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

JQ, I have been taking it easy for a while but before they start hacking me up again, I wanted to bust my ass to save up all the cash I can....I AM going to Europe this year!!!!!!!

Oh, and you can ALL come with...but if I run into a cute French dude, I don't know ANY of you!

Meg

April 24, 2007  

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Help me Rhonda...

...some anonymous...how can I say this nicely...troubled soul wrote a nasty comment after a father used his own personal web journal to voice his feelings. The guy does what we all do, he shares experiences and he discusses how he feels about things. This blog community does that. That's why we all know each other. But every so often, some loser wanders in and leaves a stupid comment like this one:

Read your posts over and count how many times you talk about your feelings, your wants and your needs. (Of course, this is exactly what the blog is for. Someone said to me once, "You act like that blog is one of the most important things in your life!" I responded, "So what if it is? How does that affect you?" That shut his ass up.)

Narcissm at it's finest.You have chosen the martyr role. And yet, you cannot look away. What kind of idiot comes to a blag and whines that they don't like it? Do they also buy tickets to movies they don't like? What a pion.

You get off on the fight.If you had agrred to provide a living wage to your child..that is child support and agreed to some basic ground rules you would have an adult mature relationship but you couldn't. Because you are a martyr horribly wronged. There was never any evidence that this man was anything but an honorable man so this whacko is speaking from a false premise. If someone manipulated my relationship with my kids, I would be a VERY VOCAL VOICE IN THIS COUNTRY.

Try just giving in, stop fighting. What kind of father would he be if he gave up on his own kid? You expect the impossible and whine when you don't get it.

Every time you engage with your lunatic ex you hand her ammuntion. Women like that don't need ammunition, they're already fully loaded.

If you stop she has to because she wont have anyone to play with anymore.It takes two dysfunctional people to create such a mess. That's a crock of shit. One totally whacked out ex can single handedly make life miserable for all involved.

How about you try on a new persona? Try being the one that doesn't want to fight anymore? Obviously this yahoo has no children so she must not know it, parents do not give up on their kids.

Don't give me that martyrs whine about how your dear son will feel abandoned. His son knows that he loves him, he's ALWAYS there for him. You need to travel on to another blog.

...Take it from someone who lived through two ridiculous asshole parents who couldn't stop telling everyone they were only doing this because they loved their kid while making said kid miserable with the never ending fight.i hate both my parents now and I haven't spoken to them in twenty years. Just because they loved me soooo much. Oh, well that explains it. You're a miserable hag and you have no business being so mean to a total stranger. If you don't like what he says, get lost.

Geez, there are so many morons out there!

See ya,

Meg

1 Comments:

Blogger JQ75 said...

Well said, thanks for the insight.

I've always thought to write about the "it takes two" cliche. It takes two to get along, to reach agreement, to co-parent after divorce. But ironically it only takes one to mess it up in this dysfunction divorce system. You can not walk away and ignore the court, you are ordered to appear, you are ordered to answer. It is not like an argument between two adults where one can walk away.

Until someone drags your innocent ass in front of a judge, who takes away your money, your liberty, your access to your own flesh and blood, you don't realize how mild the worst adult argument is. Because outside court it takes two, you can walk away. Inside those hallowed halls is another world, most of us are lucky enough not to experience.

Most of my two years was spent responding to demands from the opposition, defending myself from their baseless accusations.

My only demand was reasonable access to my son, at least the "standard" visitation (which is very poor).

Three lawyers, a custody evaluator, and a Guardian, some of whom didn't particularly like me, burned their wheels against the unstoppable, never ending opposition. It's not my word, it's theirs too. Don't believe me, its public record.

April 24, 2007  

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Here are some pictures...

....from the Aquarium. The first one is the kids watching the jelly fish:



This one is just a bunch of fish.



This is a BIG fish:


This is Grandma and Granddaughter matching pony tails:

This is a HUGE tank:

OK, that's all that it will let me upload right now. I'm lucky it let me do this much. What a touchy ass computer I have.

Meg

4 Comments:

Blogger SolarisGal said...

Gorgeous pictures, Meg - I'm glad you had a good time!

April 23, 2007  
Blogger kissmekate said...

I LOVE going to the aquarium. It always gives you a feeling of peace.

April 23, 2007  
Blogger Lara Croft said...

I love the colours in your pictures, blue is my fave colour after all and the first one is fantastic !

April 23, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Thanks! I was thinking how peaceful it was while I was there, especially watching the whales. That's why I have an aquarium here, I love to stare at the fishies! They say it lowers your blood pressure. I LOVED the first one too, so much that I made it my background on my stupid computer. I'll even keep it there when I get my NEW computer!!!! I can't wait. It'll be sometime within the next month.

Meg

April 24, 2007  

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Good morning!

I had a great weekend playing with the kids. I literally played with them the entire time they were awake and slept with them at night. We played a card game that's easy for them, we called it Concentration and just tried to match cards laid out in rows and columns. The girl was so good playing that game that I decided to try to play Battleship with her. My son helped her for a bit and then he went to the bathroom.

When he got back, I was trying to sink a very long ship that never seemed to sink. She screwed it all up while he was gone so we just played Go Fish.

Then, yesterday we went to the Aquarium where the boy looked at the crabs and said, "Look! I eat those at the buffet!!! Do we get to eat them, too?!" I told him we couldn't eat those but if we caught a jelly fish he could eat that. He didn't want any jelly fish, even after I told him they tasted like chicken.

You know what would be interesting? They could somehow genetically alter the jelly fish using DNA from peanuts and we would get peanut butter and jelly fish!

OK, I'm gonna publish this, come back and write more and then publish that. This is in case my stupid PC boots me. I have to stay a couple of steps ahead of it or it will catch me unaware. BRB

Late last night that nit wit guy who I dumped last week called to say that what I did wasn't "fair". He actually believes he still has a chance. He must be the kind of guy who breaks up with you whenever you have a fight. They never mean what they say. I, on the other hand, always mean what I say. So, as I told fat boy...."I didn't say it was fair, I said that's the way it is...Gotta go, bye."

Then, just to be safe I turned off the phone. Nobody else would have called me that late so I wasn't worried. OH! That reminds me, I changed my phone greeting. I'm not sure that my father will like it anymore than he did the old one but I like it. It goes like this: "Hello. If this is an Emergency, please hang up and dial 911. If not, leave a message."

I never say I'll call back...but people seem to love leaving messages. I never even listen to them. Right now there are 22 messages on my answering machine and I don't know who any of them are from. I do check my caller ID...I always did. But now all the people who wanted me to get an answering machine have one to speak to. My dad wanted me to have one so badly that he gave me one for Christmas. (You know, there was a REASON that I didn't want one of those.) There were other people complaining that I didn't have one as well. I hope they're all happy now. They get to leave a message. I won't ever hear the messages, but I'm not the one who wanted to hear them in the first place.

I guess he thought he had me when I finally got call waiting, which I didn't want either. It was so important to people and now I can't complete a conversation without saying, "Hold on, let me see who that is..." I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS!

Oh well, there's too much new stuff nowadays. If an educated person from the 50's showed up today, they'd be screwed. I doubt they could get a car from today started. Life was so rough back in the day. If you wanted to speak on the phone, you were attached to the phone leash. If you wanted to watch the news, you had to wait until 5 o'clock. If you wanted to send a message to anyone who was far away, you had to stick it in a mailbox. It was awful, you wouldn't have believed what we went through. Oh, and NOTHING interupted television shows except commercials and deaths of Presidents. There weren't any logos or commercials at the bottom of the screen, I don't know how we ever had an advertising world without that stuff.

Well, that's it for now. I'm going out tomorrow night so I have to start thinking about what to wear. This is one of those dates that takes 2 days to get ready for. OK then, I should start now.

See ya later today!

Meg

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Sunday, April 22, 2007

This morning I told you guys that...

I was taking my son and my grandkids to the Georgia Aquarium and then I received this comment:

We just got back from there. I took some great pictures If you are interested!Heatheheathe_kias@msn.com
heathe_kias@msn.com

I am very interested, especially since my dog ate the cord that attaches to the puter so if I don't get a new one soon, I'll never get those pictures that we took today out of that camera. So, yeah....I'd love to see them and show them on this blog...it's such a neat place. The kids just LOVE it and it's even cool for us parents.

But first I have to figure out which part of your comment is the actual link, I'll try to get it right before I end this post...that is unless my stupid puter won't let me do it before it boots me. In that case, I'll fix it in the morning. Every so often, I have to publish this so that I don't lose the post all together. I'll go right back and finish the post, but if I get booted before I can post the rest of it, I'll fix it the first chance that I get.

Anyway, I did have a great time. The kids loved it and they got to pet baby sting rays, baby hammerhead sharks and they were able to "touch"...very gently...the anemonies which were just beautiful. Of course they have large fish, even a few whale sharks The kids liked the penguins, the jelly fish and the Nemo fish the most but they had a great time.

I told you that I bought annual passes for all of us, right? Well, it didn't cost me a thing to get in, I got a dollar off the Aquarium parking, I got 10% off our lunch and the toys we bought in the gift shop on the way out. And guess what? Including the gas to get there, I still spent 96 bucks. BUT....I didn't waste any money on tickets!

I think from now on we'll just go for a while and then go out to eat. Let the kids refuse to eat better food for that much money. We'll go every so often and see it little bit at a time...the trick will be getting through the gift shop without the kids wanting toys. I'm a sucker for those babies.

I hate tourist attractions that force you to go through the guft shop on the way put. They all seem to be doing it now. Oh well, whatcha gonna do?

Now, I'm going to go to bed. I'm not going to sleep, I just cleaned my room totally and I feel really comfy lying in fresh sheets in a clean room with nice jammies after taking a long shower. I'll just stretch out and read a book. Be back in the morning!

Meg


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Hi!

I'm leaving to take my grandkids and their father to the Georgia Aquarium, the biggest in the world. It's pretty cool. I have annual passes so I need to use them. The kids love it so this will be lots of fun.

I'll be back when they go home early this evening.

See ya, have a lovely Sunday!

Meg

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

We just got back from there. I took some great pictures If you are interested!

Heathe
heathe_kias@msn.com

April 22, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

I can't get the web site to post at all so that I can look at the pictures...can you send me a link?

Thanks!

Meg

April 22, 2007  

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Saturday, April 21, 2007

My son just left...

...to get his kids. I'm sitting here waiting impatiently. I've cleaned everything up so that they can make a mess of it all. Tomorrow we'll all go to the Aquarium. Remember last January I bought annual passes? Well, I better start trying to get my money's worth outta those suckers.

As I was washing the kitchen floor I started thinking about my curtains. A year and a half ago I went to New Jersey for a few days and when I came back, my beautiful kitchen curtains were gone. My son hasn't ever told me what happened except that "they got lost after I took them down to wash them". Bullshit. No self respecting 27 year old takes the kitchen curtains down to wash them. Today I'm gonna see if he wants to tell me the truth. It's been a year and a half.

I was with a date when he hit a tree after skidding on ice. He took me to his house where all of his brothers and he hatched a plan. They parked the Malibu out on the street and put the crash side toward the street. When the parents came home, all 5 boys acted like they had no clue how that happened.

Then, when another boyfriend's parents went to Europe, we had a party and someone dropped a cigarette down the couch and it started a small fire. We were able to hide it by flipping the cushions but sooner or later they had to figure that one out.

It's amazing what kids will do...and we fall for it.

OK then, gonna see my babies!

Meg

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This is an article...

...that I wrote for an online men's magazine. I wrote it in 2005 so that's how long I've known that Basinger was being an ass to Baldwin. I think that more people need to become aware of Parental Alienation Syndrome and the courts need to become familiar with it. Men, if you ALL start going to court and using that term where it applies, the courts will have to look it up. Tell anyone that you know who is going through this...I think that all men of marrying age should be aware of this syndrome so that it can be fought before it gets too bad:

Kim Basinger seems to love backing causes, and now it would seem as though she is now vying for the title, “Saint of Mothers Who Assassinate Father/Child Relationships For No Good Reason”. After co-parenting daughter Ireland for 10 years, Basinger has decided that father Alec Baldwin is no longer worthy of the role of father because there has not been enough “consideration for my time and work commitments” and Baldwin’s presence is a “disruption to Ireland’s life.”Court documents filed by Baldwin request the “disruption” of “co-parenting counseling” and a change in therapists. Co-parenting counseling seems quite reasonable to most people. Especially considering the history of the couple who have been bickering over the 10 year old since their 2001 divorce.

Of course, we are not privy to any of the particulars in the case. But one would expect that had Mr. Baldwin committed some hideous infraction in the time since the brutal divorce, Basinger would have seen to it that the media was aware of the situation. So, in this case, surely no news is good news. Yet Basinger's attorney fills 69 pages of court documents with reasons why she should not attend co-parenting classes with her ex. (of course more recently, Alec did make a mistake...if that the WORST thing that he's, Basinger should be pleased. I can think of a few things that she's done that I consider worse. Like she's never lost it in front of her kid. Right.)

Basinger seems to be leading the charge of women who seek to remove superfluous husbands by proxy. They effectively take away all access to their children from father’s who are guilty of nothing more than existing past their usefullness. Beyond child support, these women are convinced that the men with whom they produced these children serve no purpose. So, these men are banished from the lives of their children by women who find them to be more of an inconvenience than an asset.

Shortly after these men become burdens to their wives, all too often, they come home to an empty house. Phone calls fail to verify the location of the man’s family. That’s because the men don’t seem to call the people who DO know what’s going on, the police. Of course, he needn’t call them, they’re on their way over to arrest him for domestic violence or something worse. Now, the first step is done. He’s out of the house.

The next step is to keep him out of the house and that takes a very long time. But, as an affront to women who are truly victimized, these women manipulate the court system for years in their efforts. The more sadistic of these women begin poisoning the minds of innocent children. A “victimized” wife can get a man out of the house overnight. It takes a “victimized” child to keep them out for good.

The brainwashing that these children receive is extremely effective. It takes some particularly accomplished manipulation to evoke such “obsessional hatred”, that it “extends to the targeted parent's extended family without any guilt or remorse.”

In The Parental Alienation Directory, Dr. Douglas Darnall states that the young victims of mothers consumed with hatred, "have no capacity to feel guilty about how they behave towards the targeted parent or forgive any past indiscretions." Dr, Darnell describes a pattern of behavior that he has termed Parental Alienation Syndrome and it is not a pretty picture. Although men most assuredly have the ability to exact this behavior upon children, for whatever reasons, the majority of parents who inflict PAS upon children are women.

Loving mothers want to see their children surrounded by as many people who love them as possible. But the mother’s who cause children to have “difficulty making any differentiations between...personal experiences with the targeted parent” and “what they are told by the Obsessed Alienator.”, are more concerned with some fantasy life where the father simply does not exist than with the welfare of the children. In a society where we chastise men for not rising to the occasion when they father a child, how can we let these mothers off the hook when they steal not only the father, but the father’s entire family from the child? Grandmother’s, Grandfather’s, aunt’s and uncle’s are all fair game for these women.

When the accusations fly, the extended family is not immune. A women in metropolitan Atlanta accused her daughter’s grandparents of standing by while the father, “struck her once, throwing her to the ground. Then, he struck her again and she fell to the ground again.” In this devastatingly classic case of Parental Alienation Syndrome, this particular father is about the give up on his daughter after two years of fighting with his ex wife. He has been arrested 3 times, his elderly parents have been named in abuse accusations filed with the Paulding County Georgia court. During the Christmas holidays, the counselor ordered by Paulding County told this father that “the best Christmas gift that you can give your daughter is to stay away during the holidays.”

When Alec Baldwin requests a change in counselors, it’s entirely possible that he may have good cause. With “therapists” out there telling fathers that they can best serve their child by “staying away”, perhaps Baldwin’s request should be given due consideration.

Unfortunately, “severe alienation is usually irreversible” and more and more men like the Paulding County Georgia father are throwing up their hands in utter desperation after years of false accusations and alienation from their children. Until judges and therapists, along with the public in general, recognize PAS for the crime that it is, father’s without Baldwin’s resources will continue to “stay away”. Hopefully, Baldwin himself will continue...to the best of his ability...to be a “disruption” in his daughter’s life.

For more information, go to:

http://www.parentalalienation.com/pasdirectory.htm

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Meg

Thank you so much for this article! My brother has been dealing with an ex-wife just like you described. I didn't know there was a name for it. I am going to send this to my brother right now. Thanks again.

April 21, 2007  
Blogger Hoots Musings said...

Hi Meg,
Hoots here. My husband's ex is just like Kim B. She has it now where the kids got mad at him for sending one more money at Christmas than the other. They are equals when it comes to material things but not when it comes to the youngest being a total brainwashed brat. She chooses not to have anything to do with my husband but by golly she sure hollered about not getting an equal amount.

My husband is a saint to have lived with this wicked woman for 20 years. She kicked him out and has told the kids he left. We take the high road and know some day she will self destruct and pray the girls see her for the shallow, materialistic, evil woman that she is.

April 23, 2007  
Anonymous Marty said...

I hadn't even heard of Parental Alienation until a few weeks ago, although I have experienced it both as a child of divorce, and as a divorced parent.

Then, about a month ago, my company, Conference Call University was asked to produce a Teleseminar event called “Being A Better Dad”.

One of the topics in this four-part course is Parental Alienation Syndrome, to be discussed with Dr. J. Michael Bone, an expert in the matter.

With the recent spotlight on Alec Baldwin, and his newly-announced fight against Parental Alienation, this information seems more timely than ever.

The blogosphere is blazing with all manner of opinion and thoughts on this matter, but I can’t wait to hear what Dr. Bone, a real expert on the subject, has to say about all of this.

If you want to check it out, it’s at http://www.DadsInfo.com

April 27, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HINT: If your ex is pulling this chances are she or he is Personality Disordered a la Cluster B variety.
So both of you go see a shrink and take an MMPI. The proof's in the lying your ex will be found doing all over gawds creation because they're too 'smart' to be dumb enough to comprehend their fake answers are smack up against built in "F" (for "Fake" or "Fuck You") Scales in the instrument.
There. My good deed for the day.
TW

May 15, 2012  
Blogger Meg Kelso said...

You know...I used to work on a unit that had the computerized MMPI and when I was bored, I would take it myself. Sometimes I answered questions like I thought they should be answered, sometimes I answered them randomly and once, I actually did it right. I answered every single question honestly. That computer knew EVERY SINGLE TIME exactly what I was doing. I find the MMPI to be an stunningly accurate predictor of a persons true self. I would give everyone I met that test if I could.

When I answered honestly, it created a glowingly positive overview of my inner brain. Amazing.

May 15, 2012  

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Friday, April 20, 2007

Any female who is being honest...

...will admit that by the time some of us are 11 years old, we know how to be very mean. Not all of us, but enough to notice every so often. Those of us who had parents who taught us justly and selflessly wouldn't likely be as cruel as would a young girl who is taught from an early age that she is perfectly within her rights to be a mean and nasty little brat.

You usually find that type of little girl when you have a parent that is subjecting the children to Parental Alienation Syndrome. When one parent wants nothing more than to take a small child and mold it into some sort of weapon to fire at the other parent, you'll most likely get something that will inflict deep wounds. I know as well as anyone what an evil parent is capable of and in my experience, the hatred and nasty behavior is choreographed by a female, although I'm sure that a man could do it as well.

In my experience, it takes a female to create the nastiest of these situations. A mother who has a lot of time to spend with her children can teach those children that "Daddy is evil." even though Daddy was there from the beginning. Before the divorce he wasn't a bad man, Mommy loved him enough to make a baby with him. But all of a sudden, a bitter bitch can work on a little girl so much that the child is totally convinced that not only is daddy evil, the regular rules don't apply to her. So, she can be a little bitch and Mommy will simply reward her for it and relish in the pain of the father.

To drag a man into court time and time again when he has committed no crime is, in itself, a crime. At least it should be. But since this is how lawyers make their money, along with court appointed counselors and DFAC's people who are constantly called by the evil parent, I doubt that it'll stop anytime soon.

Can you imagine how it must feel to all of a sudden have your child taken away from you? Then, you try to maintain the relationship that you had before but your ex won't allow it. She manipulates the kids and tells them how rotten you are. Eventually, you start to see the hatred growing in the little eyes that used to smile at you before the love was replaced with lies and false allegations. You have to go to court whenever the fool makes things difficult and she will, until she teaches the kid to do it for her. Then, things get really bad.

I don't know what Alec Baldwin was thinking when he called his daughter a "pig". But I have an idea what he was feeling. I've seen that look on too many father's faces. That look of helplessness that comes from not being able to hug your child. That look that a father gets when his little girl thinks of him, not as her loving father, but as the mean man who hurt mommy and did God knows what else. The worst of these women actually behave like this and then take their kids to church where there is that one Commandment that they can break, the one that tells them to honor their father.

I'm quite sure that Kim Basinger is very proud of her despicable self. She probably thinks that the entire world is on her side. I am quite sure that plenty of people see that although Alec lost it, Kim is mostly to blame. She totally set up the situation that led to all of the hositilty that never had to exist in the first place. And she has stolen something precious from her daughter that can never be replaced...a daddy in her life to love and be loved by.

The nice thing about it is that this crap will blow up in her face when the monster that she created is loosed on HER. And, that will happen. It doesn't replace the years that were missed and it won't help the little brat that the mother created, but it's always fun to watch someone get their ass kicked by karma. It's one of my favorite things...and so predictable. I love it.

Meg

20 Comments:

Blogger Karin's Korner said...

I sooo totally agree with you. And I have to admit, when I listened to Alec Baldwin this morning I was angered by what he was saying to his daughter but I also believe that children "live what they learn" and we all have to remember that.

I am in a similar circumstance with my step children. Although their mother does not do exactly that to her children she does coddle them and is so overbearing that we know eventually the children will get sick of it and eventually they will rebel and want to come and live with us. We are prepared for that, I just hate the fact that we will have to clean up the mess that she has made of these children.

We all just do what we have to and hope for the best.

April 20, 2007  
Blogger Eliza Doolittle said...

Meg Dearest -

For once I have to disagree. Alec Baldwin is what...48? He is an adult, and no adult should lose their cool enough to leave such a hateful message for a child (even if he despises the childs mother). No One! No matter what the mother does, that little girl is at such an age where she will remember that voice mail forever.

And really, who is stupid enough to leave such a hateful rant in a voice mail?

April 20, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

I think that at first, all of us who heard what he said were angry. Then, I started to think, how bad must it be for the man to call his daughter a pig. Nothing excuses that and he was certainly wrong for saying that. I'm sure that he knows that he made a mistake. But you know what? That's more than we can say for the bitch he married. I'm no Baldwin fan, that's for sure. I think Alec is a jerk. But even jerks deserve to have a relationship with their children. Anyone can be consodered a jerk by other people, it's not something that one should lose their kids over.

Rick's first ex was hideous to her kids by Rick. She took the child support after she kicked the boys out and there wasn't a damn thing that we could do about it. When we had all of the kids, his and mine, she never paid us a dime. We made the mistake of not going to court so when she wanted to hurt Rick, she took the boys back and sued for the child support from when WE had the kids...and got it!

Some people are pure evil. Period. Ask my pitiful ex who married a huge, ugly, stupid wench. If I were as funky and stupid as she is, I'd make sure that people would say, "BUT...she's a lovely person".

April 20, 2007  
Blogger Donna said...

If I'm ever in the Marietta area, I am giving you a call! We seem to have the same views on quite a bit.

I agree, Alec Baldwin went way over the line when he called his daughter names that only reinforced what her mother has said about him through the years. He is the adult, he should have held his tongue. However, while I do not agree with what he said, or how it was delivered, I do agree with you. The first time I heard it I was angry that he had the audacity to speak to an 11 year old child like that. The second time I heard it, I realized it was the volcano erupting. This was not something that happened overnight: this was not one missed call, this was the cumulation of weeks (or months or years) of having his visitation and phone calls manipulated by the adults in her life.

I feel so sorry for that little girl: both parents are trying to evoke hatred in her heart for the other parent, and unfortunately, it seems to be working. As you said, I don't understand how you can love someone enough to have a child with them (and let's face it, they weren't teenagers when she was born), and spew such hatred toward the other 1/2 of your child's DNA.

I hope instead of sitting back and smirking about all this bad press, Kim Basinger has that child at a therapist to work out what both screwed up parents are doing to her. She's a child, not a prize to be "won" by either parent. I just hope she's not standing by either one of them when Karma smacks them both upside the head.

Poor girl. Just goes to show you money doesn't buy happiness: it comes from the heart.

April 20, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Donna, do call if you're around...I'd love to chat. It's been years that these two yahoos have been at this. I wrote the post that's up on the top of the blog a couple of years ago and they were already making a mess of the kids life.

I knew that some people would totally disagree because of Alec's stupidity. But I honestly think they are just lucky enough to have stayed away from a bitter wench of an ex. I've had my kids kidnapped and manipulated so it's a touchy subject for me.

And yes, it's better to be poor in cash than poor in love. They can always find cash, they don't find another father who loves them so much. I would have rather have had my parents be dirt poor potato pickers than to have gotten a divorce when I was a kid. I loved my parents, they were my whole world. They separated when I was 7 and it was the scariest thing that I ever had to deal with. I never knew about finances, there was a place to sleep after I played all day or went to school. And both of my parents were there when I went to bed. I know full well the value of a parent.

April 20, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

"...Although their mother does not do exactly that to her children she does coddle them and is so overbearing..."

That's what Rick's ex did. And let me tell you, when karma hit her it landed all over the place. I didn't feel any better because I predicted it, but when they both were arrested for some relatively serious stuff, everyone got hurt.

On top of everything, it's happening to my son. Luckily we see the kids enough to show them how much we love them...but if you aren't able to stay in touch, the mother can tell the kids anything she wants to tell them. I don't know how a mother could take away a man who wants to be a father, I'd just be happy he was there.

Meg

April 20, 2007  
Blogger Eliza Doolittle said...

This just goes to show that people should be required to take some kind of human being competentcy test before being allowed to have a child. Seriously!

April 20, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

That'd be nice, wouldn't it? I think the girls should get one of those pretend babies that cries and wets it's pants. Also, if the girls and boys are given other stuff to do, other goals to accomplish, they might be too busy to have a baby. The parents who expect little from their kids get exactly that.

Meg

April 20, 2007  
Blogger JQ75 said...

Meg, thanks so much for an excellent post. I am so surprised at your level of understanding.

I started to write a comment and I saw parallels between my situation and Baldwin's. I thought of examples of what I have been through. Rather than making it a comment, I posted it to my Blog, with a tip of my hat to you and your post.

Please see It's enough to drive someone crazy...

Please see my personal experiences that help me understand Baldwin, not excuse him but understand him.

Eliza, you disagree because you don't understand, and that's a good thing. You can thank God that you have not had to have the unrelenting pain inflicted by the courts on you and your child that can literally drive you crazy, to irrational acts.

April 20, 2007  
Blogger Eliza Doolittle said...

I'm betting I'm the youngest of your readers, Meg...but I wonder if any of you had to do the "flour sack baby" when in high school?

You had a flour sack that you dressed up, named, and had to carry around for a week. Your fellow students were encouraged to narc on you if you left you "baby" unattended. Each time you left your baby alone, you dropped a grade point on the assignment.

And this was after the "abstinence is best" discussion.

Ironically, only the girls had to carry it. And Whitfield County had the dubious title of "Most Teenage Pregnancies"

April 22, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Oh no, when I was in school we didn't discuss babies at all. We took home ec and the guys took shop. They learned to use tools and we learned to cook, sew and run a household. But...not babies...DUH...we didn't have many when we were in high school.

But I've heard of a doll that the schools give girl. They "cried" and wouldn't be quiet until you tried everything, you never knew what was making it "cry". It wakes the girls up in the middle of the night and they can't leave it alone without paying a babysitter.

I've also heard of carrying an egg for a while without breaking it. You had to have it with you for a certain period of time.

They only give it to the girls because WE'RE the nit wits who end up paying the biggest price, not only our lives, but our bodies.

I DID have a progressive teacher who showed the seniors stretch-marks on the belly of a new mother. It was pretty gross.

I think we need to make teenagers having sex as uncool as it used to be. We're doing it with cigarettes, why not sex? At least we could teach the girls...they should be having more respect for themselves and, as my mother used to say, "Put a high price on yourself."

Meg

April 22, 2007  
Blogger JQ75 said...

Ah yes, Meg's from my generation, that's how I remember it too. Girls in Home Econmics, Guys in Shop.

I wonder if shop is still required for everybody. My wife will freak, we had all sorts of power tools and dangerous stuff. Not like you'd find in the average home, I mean serious stuff, band saws, metal presses, drill press, table mounted circular saws, metal cutting, torches.

We had old fashioned pencil and paper drafting (design drawings). We'd have fights with the powder erasers (Knit cloth bags containing a white powder to help correct an error on the drawing).

I remember at the baby shower, I was the fastest at corectly diapering a baby and not sticking it with the pin. Maybe that's because as a child I got stuck with a pin and it took them a while to figure out why I wouldn't stop crying (scared for life LOL).

I'd often return from third shift, driving 100 miles, to find my wife still sleeping and I'd be taking care of my son because he was awake.

Yeah caring a sack all around with you would certainly make you think twice. Of course my son gets dumped on so many different people, anybody but his dad.

April 22, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

"Of course my son gets dumped on so many different people, anybody but his dad."

THAT IS DESPICABLE.

April 22, 2007  
Blogger JQ75 said...

Whoa, I could have proofed that one better.

Yeah, it's the sad truth, that's why that anon comment ht a nerve.

You are so right about defending yourself from a moron, it's a hopeless task, I should know, I've spent two years at it and gotten no where.

I'll have a post on that in more detail sometime. For the last two summers, she was working M-F and I was working Th-Sun. Instead of letting me have him for the whole day M,T,W, she'd only let me have him for 4 hours, the rest of the day she dumped him on a play date, neighbor, her family, anybody but me.

So when somebody tells me just walk away and things will take care of themselves. When I pay 3 times as much as a neighbor in child support and someone tells me I don't pay enough. It pisses me off. I should just consider the source.

How come so many regular people can figure this out and the courts and lawyers and media can't?

And then Govt and media can't figure out where the father's are. They gotten eaten alive by a corrupt shitty system.

April 22, 2007  
Blogger Eliza Doolittle said...

JQ - I am very, very sorry for your troubles and pain.

While I'm not suggesting our experiences are comparable, I do understand some of that pain, because what it comes down to is betrayal. Like your wife betraying your trust, her promises, her son's future with his father.

Meg will tell you, as I'm a longtime reader/poster, that I had a husband who felt it was his god given right to a) sleep with lots of women on the sly and b) pressure me into all sorts of nasty things, saying that I should "if I loved him".

As horrid as I felt about him, about myself, I never stooped to his level. Most of my friends felt I would have been well within my rights to cheat on him myself, to burn his clothes in the cul de sac, to sell his SSN to some Nigerian scammer. I did none of these things. I sat, and waited, sure that karma would catch up, and she's bitchy when she's late for the party.

My mother also recently confessed to me that she had a period of two years where she really hated me (12-14). She felt like my father and I would gang up on her, and ridicule her just because we could make her feel stupid. And I've been walking around all these years thinking she was being especially mean because she hated me! The point being, when we finally talked about this, I said "mom, you were thirty five! Shouldn't you know better?" and she gave me a look that could cut glass.

I know I'm rambling, but I always think it's best to take the high ground, even if it costs you more than you want to pay in the short term, in the long run it pays off.

P.S. Your ex sounds like a real bnitch! Can we kick her ass for you? :-)

April 23, 2007  
Blogger Louise said...

Meg,
I couldn't agree with you more on this story.

However, I do know that men can and will alienate their children from women as well.

I have been legally kept from my children with NO VISITATION for SIX YEARS!

False accusations and what appears to be political connections were my estranged husbands silver bullet!

Nonetheless we must be adults and not lose it when our buttons are pressed by a vindictive ex using our children to torment us.

April 24, 2007  
Blogger JQ75 said...

Eliza, my response to you may have come off harsh. My points were, for a parent to see their child suffer or be used as a tool against them is very painful and over time pain takes a toll. When this toll gets high enough, it is hard to take the high road, it is so heavy, you may be provoked into something that you regret or that is considered "nutty" by others.

I was provoked into making a statement in judge's chambers in the presense of the judge, both lawyers, and the Guardian. I stated, "My son is being used as leverage in this case and anyone who would allow that is guilty of abusing my child and that is very distressful to me."

With a gesture, the bailiff approached me and led me out, I had just indicted every one in the room, but it was true, and the truth does hurt. It hurt me and now it hurt them.

After the guilty discussed their transgressions against my child, I was called in and told, "No error at law was made". Later I was told I was a "poor litigant" by the Guardian. I thought the issue was my parenting abilities not my litigation abilities.

Luckily my relationship with my son has not been damaged, despite my wife's successful restriction of my visitation. So my anger and frustration has always been directed at the court.

Sorry to hear of your distresses. Life is too short, no one deserves such misery.

And yes you can do what ever to my wife (and her lawyer).

It is extremely disappointing that the courts don't remove their blinders, recognize this form of child abuse and order my wife into treatment for it.

But justice is blind and that explains a lot. (jqism).

April 25, 2007  
Blogger JQ75 said...

Louise, when I started my Blog, I thought it was a men against women issue.

I quickly learned that "blind justice" had female victims too. They have certain trends in their bias. But they do bend these bias for what seems almost corrupt reasons to discriminate against either gender.

Although I, like Meg, talk of the court's "popular" bias. I recognize that the court can discriminate against either gender.

I'm sorry for your situation. It demonstrates one of the higher court bias. When an allegation against a parent is made, it is assumed to be true, in the best interest of the child. But this is an assumption that mentally ill parents take advantage of to the detriment of the children. The court is to blind (or more likely uncaring) to recognize this and take action against the parent making the false allegations.

I wouldn't be surprised if the allegations against you weren't numerous and fitting a pattern that was at odds with common sense and logic. But the courts are notoriously absent in these skills.

So they treat you with assumed guilt to protect the child. And by so doing have deprived the child of the needed two parent upbringing, doing more harm than good.

The false allegations were enough, the connections sealed the deal.

The courts need to recognize this and order the falsely alleging parent to mental health treatment.

If this was a deliberate action and supported by lawyers playing legal games (as often is the case), then the court should order sanctions against these parties, for they are attempting to deprive the child of a two parent upbringing.

I wonder when we'll see these solutions.

April 25, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know, late to the party, but whatever.
I am the Adult "Child" of a Personality Disordered Walking Cluster B-Fuckup "Mother."
And guess who I terminated the relationship with when I became an adult? Hint: It was NOT my father.
Guess who stalked me/stalked me by proxy/destroyed my first career post undergrad/had her PI's tap my phone-oh, I could go on about this forever, but why bother.
Bottom line? Just remember folks who are on the receiving end of this BS with an ex who is using the kids as an WMD: The end of this story has not been written yet.
And kids see a whole lot more than they SAY. It'll be even more astounding to hear about the whole mess when they are adults and recognize they have the freedom to speak....and tell the TRUTH.
TW

May 15, 2012  
Blogger Meg Kelso said...

Perhaps they should put Lo-Ovral in the drinking water.

May 15, 2012  

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As I was lying in bed...

...half awake and half asleep this morning, I thought I heard someone say that cardio work outs were no good if you wanted to lose weight. I woke up and realized that I did hear that. In fact, they might not even be very good for your heart in general. I think I'll just sit still for a while. I've always wanted to, but I thought that I had to move around to be healthy.

I grew up a long, long time ago. Back in the day, we were taught that you lost weight by burning more calories than you took in. Today we can eat all the bacon and eggs that we want on the low carb diet instead of the bowl of berries and oatmeal that I eat every morning. I've been working out 3 or 4 times a week for years and now I find out that I could be hurting myself by doing that. You know, that's all I need to put a stop to my morning excersizes. After all this time of working out, I thought it was a good thing that I was developing an ass and abs...but I could be hurting myself badly by doing that. Who knew?

I think I'm just going to sit in front of the TV and watch until they make a final decision as to what the hell we're supposed to do to keep healthy. They'll probably figure it out after I croak. I quit smoking and got cancer...now I'm totally confused. By the way, the other day someone asked me how that was going so I'll tell you what's going on. The doctor that my doctor sent me to is taking tests trying to see if this thing on my esophagus is a "new" tumor or a metastasized tumor from my para-thyroid gland. I'll let you know how things are going occasionally, but I don't like to dwell on it. Like the freak who shot all those kids, I don't like to give it too much of my attention. It wins if I do. I like to "act as if" I'm perfectly healthy and maybe I can trick my body into buying that.

OH! I should go check my emails from the freaky dudes at the dating site. I'll be right back with them...don't go far!

OK, here's one talking manspeak again:

I am not married and have never been married! I am just getting out of a relationship in which we both have been unhappy. I am very much a gentleman but I do have a wild, naughty side and love to have fun!!

Womanspeak translation:

I want to have my cake, eat it and then have more cake, eat that and then start over again.

Rarely do these guys have "fun" the same way that I do. They usually have fun in the sack while I'd like to go ride a roller coaster. It's not that I don't WANT to play in the sack, I just don't base relationships on it. I think of having someone to do things with and this guy is thinking of grabbing himself a lil wopig action and I'm not going for that. (Not for under 2 grand anyway.)

Here's another charmer:

I am a good looking, MWM who is looking to please a woman in any way she needs, Orally in particular, but I dont get the full foreplay and passionate play that I need and talking to her has been like talkingto a brick wall. If you are a married or LTR female who loves your spouse and just needs more. I am for you...if you want to live some fantasies that he would never do, I am for you...If you need a third party male that you can trust not to stalk and become a problem later, I am for you.

If you're half the freak you appear to be, you're not for me. Oh well, at least he's honest.

I found early on that those web dating services were pretty much just a hook up service. Men don't need to put too much effort into anything, they just call themselves a dorcot or a lawyer and say that they want sex. Apparently that works or so many of them wouldn't do it.

Right after Rick left, I dated a few guys that I met online and almost every single one of them expected sex on the first date. And, they weren't at all coy about that fact. I can think of 2 guys that I met who were decent types, the rest of them were all bums. Even Rick, remember when I caught him at a web dating service? I set a trap using a fake name and profile specifically aimed at him and it worked within 2 days.

I've learned so much about men since that fool left. And about the fool himself, he was no different than the other freaks that advertise online. He's just one of those idiots who thinks with his dick. In case you weren't around when I nabbed Rick online, this is the link to the e-mails that we shared when I was "Sarah" and he was the wounded hubby:

http://diaryofmydivorce.blogspot.com/2005/09/ok-my-surprise-is-ready.html

Meg

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Thursday, April 19, 2007

The news media is trying...

...to justify the airing of the tapes sent by the nut who killed 32 innocent people this past Monday. Their agument is that we can learn about the murderer himself. I don't know what more I could learn...the tapes just confirmed what we all knew, the guy was nuts. He wasn't "innocent but guilty" nuts or "not guilty by reason of insanity" nuts ...he was just a plain, everyday, dangerous nut who lost his last marble.

I remember the days when a freaked out murderer couldn't get a manifesto published unless the cops wanted it done for a very good reason. Somehow we got by without bearing witness to the rantings of any homicidal maniacs. I wonder why they think that we should know about it now?

If the media would stop paying so much attention to the murderer and a bit more to the victims, younger nuts-in-waiting will have fewer "heroes" to refer to when committing mass murder.

Bonnie and Clyde killd a lot of people as well and they're almost romanticized while we know nothing about the victims. I wonder how long it takes for murderers to turn into folk heroes for some people? This particular nut (whose name I won't even use) has the title for the most people murdered at one time in America. How long before some other put upon kid tries to break that record in honor of this nut? I shudder to think.

6 Comments:

Blogger Donna said...

I agree completely! Don't give him the airtime. I don't give a shit about his feelings, or ideas, or anything at all about him. Instead of airing his crap and making him a folk hero for terrorists in training, let's focus on the victims. They were good kids, improving their lives, doing good things. They all have stories, let's hear those.

I'm also wondering: who TOOK the pictures and videos? Let's find out and let him/her explain to the victim's families why they helped him. Preferably in a locked room.

Last note: If the shooter was a white male, you know his name, hometown, etc. would have been released to the media asap and someone would have been interviewing his grandma on her front porch within minutes. How come we haven't heard about his family? How come they didn't realize their son was losing his mind? It's not like it happened all in one day.

It's a shame, how the world we're leaving our kids is getting shittier by the week. Morals and personal responsibility are now 4 letter words.

Ok, my soapbox is getting creaky, I'll get off now.

April 19, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

It may be creaky but it's made out of sound wood. We already have another nut saying that he can beat this nut....his goal is 100. The InuBomber got his manifesto published only AFTER the cops told the newspaper that it would help them. They knew better than to do it otherwise. Journalism schools must have truly changed. I remember when they had certain standards. Now I can't tell the real news from National Enquirer news.

Meg

April 19, 2007  
Blogger SolarisGal said...

Isn't today's version of the National Enquirer considered to be a highly conservative newspaper?

Today's National Enquirer is "The Weekly World News". Check out its headlines:

-Bigfoot Tracks Indicate Salsa Lessons

-Man makes $275,000 a year as street beggar

-Space alien puts up earth up for sale

- Lobster in hot water after biting off chef's finger

and

-How to pay yourself $200 for free

April 19, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

"-How to pay yourself $200 for free"

Hey doll, could you elaborate on this one?

Meg

April 19, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Meg,

Sadly, I believe that campus had every indication that this nut job was going to committ murder.

All the warning signs were indeed there.

I don't know exactly what should have been done to prevent this except jail him for the stalking of two former girlfriends.

Unfortunately, now it is too late.

I can't even imagine being a student there on one of the floors, hearing shots and not knowing exactly what was going on, finding out later that roomates was being murdered on the floor below.

The media does this all the time with crimes like this: they give the most aire time to the criminal and never to the vicitms.

Then they beat it deader than a horse buried underneath the ground.

However, CNN's website is going a great job of posting memorial sites for the people shot.

This loss of innocence is always hard to take in.

Leslie

April 19, 2007  
Blogger SolarisGal said...

lol, I'd love to elaborate on the article, but I haven't read it. I just saw the newspaper on a supermarket stand, and laughed at its headline.

April 20, 2007  

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I found this on a guy's profile...

...he wrote this lovely sentence for ALL women to see:

"...BTW, please have the confidence to post a picture of yourself. Looks are not everything!!!"

How's that for manspeak? Luckily, I've been around enough of them to be able to pick up on the meanings of some of their words. This is what we English speakers call MANIPULATION. "We make you feel like you're an idiot if you don't post a picture and then we lull you into a sense of well being by telling you that "looks aren't everything" so go ahead, send that picture! Then, we can decide whether or not you have reason to be confident, if you do, we'll be back in touch."

Then, one of the only single guys who wrote (at least one of the few who SAYS that they are single) emailed me to ask me to "chat me at *********.yahoo.com" That's it, not even, "Do you know how to chat on yahoo, do you even want to? Blah, blah, blah...looks like a cyber-sex nut and those, I do not do.

A guy that I'm seeing and I were reading the emails last night and he got quite a kick out of them. He and I tried to guess what these guys were really like so we just made up stories by their pictures. We laughed so hard we had tears in our eyes.

Anyway, I had a tough time sleeping last night so I wandered from bed to bed to couch and back to bed again. I kept having those Rick nightmares again. I kept on dreaming that he was cheating on me and guess what...HE WAS! It's funny, I wake up as bothered as I was the first day that I found out he was cheating. It doesn't take as long to get over after a cheat dream, I drink a cup of coffee and then I watch the news until my mind wanders into another day and I'm fine.

Then, I read a friend's blog and see another friend saying that I kiss and tell. I've never kissed and told unless the guy did something incredibly stupid. If I mentioned all the normal guys I went out with, this blog would be full of good stuff and that's no fun. So, I just mention the idiots. I know a couple of guy that I've dated who still read this everyday and are quite confident that they won't be on it...they didn't act like morons...just guys. I don't mind a guy who acts like a guy...even if he isn't perfect. So, there...I don't kiss and tell! Unless of course you happen to be a county commissioner and a JERK at that.

OK then, I'm going to go switch the laundry loads and jump in the shower. See ya soon!

Meg

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Wednesday, April 18, 2007

I opened an account on a dating service...

...for blog fodder like I did a couple of years ago. Like I did last time, I made up a fake name again. I can't tell you what it is...it might blow my cover. But anyway, in my fake profile there is one thing that is true. That is when I say...right on the front of my page...that, "... I don't do adultery. Other than that, I'm easy to please....".

So, from whom do I hear? A couples of guys, HardNDirty33 and NiceRedHead, who "prefer not to say" whether they're married or not.

Then, there's one who writes to me:

Well to be honest and upfront i am in a relationship.I am not married at all buy no means but i do have a girlfriend.I am looking to make new friends.I don't believe in lying about anything i believe in being upfront and straight forward.

Well, it's nice to know that he's "honest".

And then there's this pearl:

I hope this is not inappropriate, if so i apologize in advance..I am a discrete, professional, straight married male.6'1" 188 lbs. white, brn/blue, athletic and nice looking. I believe discrete encounters should be fun and full of laughter.. and upon leaving both of us have a big smile and a fond memory....hopefully have a relationship that adds to both of our lives.

It takes more than a "big smile" for me to have a "fond memory".

Then there are the nit wits whose profile shouts, "RUN! I FREAK OUT EVERY FEMALE THAT I MEET!!!!" How's this one for a potential postal employee:

im going to try this one more time to see where it goes. the last time it really suck most of the ladies on here don't know how to be honest

That one will be on the news someday, of that I am sure. Now...I would be remiss if I left out another married man who has no clue what bait to use when fishing for a lady:

He seems rather proud of his armpits...doesn't he? I wonder if his wife knows that his armpits are all over the internet? I think I'm going to begin a bit of an exhibition. Like an artist, I'm going to use my talents to seek out and hunt down stories from the world on internet dating and see what I can find. Once I found a guy who acted like a jerk and I put him on the blog only to get a comment from someone who knew the guy as a county official in Michigan. I got that one. I posted our entire email relationship online...it wouldn't have been good for any elections that might have been coming up as far as that jerk was concerned.

Here's the link to the first post after I found out who he was:

http://diaryofmydivorce.blogspot.com/2005/10/ok_112904574249641964.html

For the following week or so after that...I nailed that fool. He deserved it, trust me.

Anyway, I'm gonna play with these yahoos for a while.

See ya!

Meg

5 Comments:

Blogger Karin's Korner said...

OH my friend,

you are fantastic, I really needed to smile right now (see my blog for explanation) and reading your blog always does that for me. You are just too funny. Thanks Meg!!

April 18, 2007  
Blogger SolarisGal said...

Yeah - just throw that reel in and fish all the shit out "FBI/Dateline style"! That outta teach them! Meg, luv ya work!

April 18, 2007  
Anonymous di said...

Yay!! You can have a field day!! Can't wait to read more :)

April 18, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Meg;
As usual you are to funny. Do keep in mind that everyone out there is not a Jerk.I actually met my wife on the internet and we are having a ball.
Buddy

April 19, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

That's the problem, they all seem interested in balling so early. It's cool if you want to ball them, like you and your wife must know...but if they aren't ball material, I'm fucked...not.

:)

April 19, 2007  

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Good morning, afternoon or whatever.

I just woke up after staying up all night doing my taxes. I put it off until 11 PM on the last day possible because I assumed that I would owe them money. I started e-filing on my idiot computer and the stupid thing shut down so rather than wait until the computer wanted to work, I called my father and had him do it on his computer for me. I just gave him all the info and he did it all for me. I hope we did it properly...I'm a little bit worried because I ended up getting a refund and I didn't think that was going to happen.

I went online to check everything but it won't let me in unless I know the exact amount of the refund and I don't. I could call my father but that telephone tax session was worse than the time that he tried to teach me to drive a stick-shift. I think I'll let him get over the ire with which he spoke last night and then I'll ask him. (He isn't known for his patience...my sister is smiling as she reads this.)

I suppose I should have paid H&R Block but ever since they sent my tax return in for Rick without my signature on it I don't trust them. But it really was pretty easy. Maybe next year I'll charge 10 bucks to e-file for people who don't realize how easy it is. I only know how to do the 1040 so if anyone has anything more than that, they'd have to find a smart person. But for the easy stuff, I don't know why everyone doesn't just sit at their computer and e-file by themselves.

Since I waited so long to start the dumb taxes, I didn't finish until after midnight. I told my father to date it for the 17th. I wonder if that'll make a difference...ya think? I thought about having my daughter do it in LA, it would have been on time then...but I couldn't get her to answer the phone.

Well, since I just woke up, I'm gonna go suck coffee for a while and then I'll be back as soon as I can remember my name and why I'm here.

Who am I?

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Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Meg,

"how would you like if someone called you a nappy head hoe? that would be so different then wouldnt' it?"

Uh...it wouldn't bother me one bit. I've been called worse. Besides, when I was seven I knew that I was paper and you're glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you. So, I don't mind what other people say. I just hope they're having fun and I go somewhere else. Life's too short to spend time so negatively.

I'd rather be the person who was called a name than the person who did the name-calling. Imus and Kramer both look like idiots and their "victims" won by default. Playing the race card is like leading with a Jack and the other 3 players slap a Queen, King and Ace on your card...you lose.

The problem is that some people don't know that they've lost and they just keep on leading with the same stupid Jack. That's what I think of Sharpton when he acts like such a nit wit.

Transition:):):) Anyway, don't you hate when someone does something that you can't stand? I can't say exactly what I'm talking about but compare it to this...you're dating someone who drinks too much and you give them an ultimatum..."Quit drinking or get lost."

So, they quit drinking...for a couple of months. Then, they start drinking occasionally but, "It's OK, I really, really don't drink nearly as much as I did...You can't get angry over a few beers on Sunday, that's ridiculous.!"

Well, it may very well be ridiculous. But I don't want to be around a person with a drinking problem who thinks that they can drink "a little". Period. Of course he has the right to drink all that he wants to...but I have the right to walk away from him when he does.

The result of that is...one more time, I get called a bitch. That doesn't bother me...I see it for the attempted manipulation that it is and I walk away, usually quickly. I see so many men trying this crap that I have to wonder if they all used to be bullshitting me and I was just too young and stupid to see it. Or, are men getting dumber since that Chernobyl incident? I can't tell which one it is.

It's interesting that controlling men start out acting nicely because they know you wouldn't warm up to them if they acted like idiots. Then, when they feel the time is right, they act like idiots. They know how to be nice, they just choose not to. I can spot them quickly and I notice the way that they start out the manipulation mildly just to see if they can get away with minor shit. Then, it gets worse and worse as time goes by and they pay no penalty.

I don't usually date a guy long enough for him to change...I can sniff out most assholes. Obviously, I'm not perfect in my detection skills, I wouldn't have this blog if I were. But I can usually tell one when I see one...it's something for which I am always looking.

I have to say that I love it when a guy tells me that I'm "being unreasonable" and I'm "a bitch for not allowing him to drink (or whatever the deed that I dislike is)". Most of them think that I'll respond by begging them not to be angry and instead I just say they're right...and then I walk away. They don't expect that and the look on their faces is priceless.

I need to try to take a nap and that shouldn't be too easy because I've been sucking coffee all morning so that I could stay away long enough to clean the house after my guests. Now I'm wired. But, I'm going to lie down and try to have an out of body experience.

See ya!

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

***From an email sent in by a reader***

I am Proud To Be White

There are African Americans, Mexican Americans, Asian Americans, Arab Americans, Native Americans, etc.
And then there are just Americans.

You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction.
You Call me "White boy," "Cracker," "Honkey,"

"Whitey," "Caveman" … and that’s OK.

But when I call you, Nigger, Kike, Towel head, Sand-nigger, camel Jockey, Beaner, Gook, or Chink … you call me a racist.

You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you, so why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live?

You have the United Negro College Fund.
You have Martin Luther King Day.
You have Black History Month.
You have Cesar Chavez Day.
You have Yom Hashoah
You have Ma’uled Al-Nabi
You have the NAACP.
You have BET.

If we had WET (White Entertainment Television) … we’d be racists.
If we had a White Pride Day .. you would call us racists.
If we had White History Month .. we’d be racists.
If we had any organization for only whites to "advance" OUR lives
… we’d be racists.

We have a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, a Black Chamber of Commerce, and then we just have the plain Chamber of Commerce. Wonder who pays for that?

If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships … you know we’d be racists. There are over 60 openly proclaimed Black Colleges in the US , yet if there were "White colleges" … THAT would be a racist college.

In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching for your race and rights. If we marched for our race and rights, you would call us racists.

You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you’re not afraid to announce it. But when we announce our white pride …you call us racists.

You rob us, carjack us, and shoot at us. But, when a white police officer shoots a black gang member or beats up a black drug-dealer running from the law and posing a threat to society … you call him a racist.

I am proud. But, you call me a racist.

Why is it that only whites can be racists?

April 17, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Obviously they can't be the only racists.

See, this is the growing attitude in white America and it's perceived to be racist but it isn't...it's frustration. I bet a black guy wouldn't know it if he was speaking to the person who wrote that.

We really need to act like we're all living creatures that God created and therefore, we have to love each other, not call each other names.

What a shame.

Meg

April 17, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To the anonymous poster above,

You are truly a disgusting human being and racist.

No way it is ok to call someone out of their own name, let alone a racist slant.

Those women felt a true loss of grace when that comment was made by Don Imus. The focus because solely on that comment and not the accomplishment they had made.

Racism reflects those too self-absorbed to be compassionate. And it is blantant ignorance.

I am sure all of us white people would have a different perspective if we had been born a "minority".

A National Holiday does not make up for the digusting day to day racism that many minorites face. It is real.

Leslie

April 19, 2007  

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Meg,

Being from downunder, I googled what Imus said , what the hell is a nappy-headed hos, and is something offensive if you don't know what it means?


Well, first of all, nappy is a word that some black people use to refer to the texture of their hair. I went to school with a girl named Penny who was nappy headed and she was white. So, it's not necessarily referring to blacks, but it usually is. A ho a term that came from people who speak the black vernacular meaning whore. So, apparently, a nappy headed ho is a frizzy haired whore.

40 years ago, words were offensive if the person saying the word meant it to be offensive. Today, words are offensive if the person you say them to perceives them to be offensive. That's what Imus forgot. I don't know what was in his heart when he said it so I don't know if he meant for it to be offensive or not. But, in America today, anything a white person says is open to interpretation by others and therefore, we have to walk on eggs when we say things because anything we say can be taken out of context.

I work with a lot of black people and I never have a problem with any of them...we all get along fine and if there is any prejudiced, it's kept under my radar. I think that one on one, blacks and whites get along fine but the problem comes when idiots like Sharpton and Jackson get out and try to stir up all the animus that they can.

Although what Imus said was stupid, I don't think it was any more stupid than anything else he says and I don't think he meant anything racist, that's just the way Imus speaks. The only thing that surprises me is that this didn't happen sooner. But, as I said, we'll never know what was in his heart.

When I was the Assistant Director of Nursing at a facility near here, one of my jobs was to plan and deliver the orientation to new employees. In the list of things that I HAD to mention, along with proper body mechanics, infection control and patient confidentiality...management had me give a little speech on the fact that we should always be concerned with how our words or actions are PERCEIVED. I thought that was so stupid because one person has no control over how another person PERCEIVES what he does or says. We can use our common sense and hope for the best, but I would never offend anyone on purpose...I have done it because, being from the North, I can be a bit curt. I was basically in charge of the clinical area, I always mentioned anything that I saw that was wrong...it was my job. I said things quickly and to the point. Then, I'd walk away and go on about my business not realizing that 4 people just thought that I yelled at them. It was fine, I got the job done because everyone was afraid of me. But if I was going to yell at someone, I'd take them in my office, I wouldn't shout it out on the floor. I was just pointing things out as I walked down the hall.

So, although I meant no harm and would have forgotten the incident in 5 minutes, people PERCEIVED me to be angry at them. I can't stop that, either you know me or you don't. If you don't know me, you might wonder how to take me for a while but eventually you would learn that I'm just a woman who speaks her mind 24/7.

There are some things that people say that are stupid and are offensive, that's a given. I hear black people saying things that offend me all the time. Not at work...we all act professionally. But, if I were to judge all black people by the way black people on TV and radio speak, I would think that they were all gun toting thugs who had no respect for women, never knew their fathers and came from filthy neighborhoods. But the blacks that I meet are all hard working family people whom I respect.

Nevertheless, while the normal blacks are quietly living life, the lunatics are out there getting angry at their PERCEPTION of what you might say. The man who used the word "niggardly" lost his job. The stupid word means cheap, nothing else. This guy meant "cheap" and the lunatics PERCEIVED him to mean something dreadfully offensive.

I don't know why I don't have the freedom from being offended that others seem to have. I was raised to be offended when I hear the "N" word and to this day, I cringe when I hear it. My parents didn't teach me that it was only OK for blacks to use...they taught me that it was the very worst word that you could possibly use. That's how I was raised. I never heard that word growing up, I grew up in a nice, quiet, peaceful suburb of Chicago and no one there was tacky enough to use the word. If they did, they certainly didn't use it in public so I never heard it. Although I have heard it a few times being in certain areas of the country, I hear it constantly by blacks on TV, radio and the movies.

I submit that I am more offended at the word than would be people who use it themselves. How offended could you be by a word that you use in everyday converstaion? I never use it...I shouldn't have to hear it.

I do understand the idea of using a word and taking the power out of it by making it your own...but the fact that it offends some people doesn't change. And I know that you may not MEAN anything racist by it, but I PERCEIVE it to be racist.

One more thing, if black people can use these words (like nappy headed ho) and not mean anything negative, they should understand that other people can use them innocently as well. I can sit in my house and say, "nappy headed ho's" all day long and it won't matter. It won't make me racist. I can even say it around other white people...they know that we can say that stuff and still NOT be racists. It's too bad that Sharpton won't give others what he tries to give his own people...the right to be assholes and speak freely. Sharpton would have us believe that freedom of speech does not give us the right to actually speak freely. What a scary dude.

Oh, by the way, Sharpton needs to stay off of TV shows that challenge him at all, he doesn't stand up well to any thinking person. I wonder how he fools it to so many people? I would have thought that people were smarter than that. I guess if it's something that you WANT to believe, you will believe it.

See ya, I have a house to clean. I'll be back when I take a break.

Meg

5 Comments:

Blogger Eliza Doolittle said...

And use of the N word just means that one is uneducated and quite ignorant.

Although 100 years ago cracker was just as insulting...or redneck...and now we use those words as part of our everyday language.

Just a thought.

April 17, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

"...uneducated and quite ignorant..."

You took the words right out of my brain.

Meg

April 17, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

how would you like if someone called you a nappy head hoe? that would be so different then wouldnt' it?

April 17, 2007  
Blogger SolarisGal said...

Meg, this is an excellent post, and everyone who constantly uses the race card should be forced to read it -in a published text book. (Not to say that discrimination doesn't exist, but I'm referring to people who love to use race to stir up animosity)

My opinion is that unless you come from a highly religious background, the influencing factor will most likely be money. Money changes your outlook, your behavior, your education, your experience, your health, and even who's opinion you'll be inclined to listen to.

April 17, 2007  
Blogger Eliza Doolittle said...

If someone called me a nappy headed ho, I'd be delighted! It would imply that I have more hair than I currently have! Bring it on.

P.S. Hoe is, I do believe, an implement one uses in the garden. Therefore, it is not possible to have a nappy headed garden implement, unless it is so encrusted with soil it is growing moss. I can definitely see a case for that.

April 17, 2007  

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Monday, April 16, 2007

I think I feel guilty now...

...because I just got a letter from Dear Abby that was actually signed by her. The stupid question that I made up will be on Abby's column...and probably soon. Here's the question that I sent her:

Dear Abby,

My sister and I have been arguing over something for 20 years. I say that when you're writing a word that starts with a "U", you should use the word "an" first as in, "I bought an uniform." My sister says that you should write it like you say it, "I bought a uniform." I think she's totally wrong and that "an" should be used whenever you use a word that begins with a vowel, even a "U". What do you think?

Meg

And here's the answer that she sent me:

Dear Meg,

According to Webster's New World Dictionary, "an" is now used before all words beginning with a vowel sound or a silent "h" (an ox, an honor). Older British usage favored "an" before the sound "yoo" (an union), but this is now nearly obsolete.

You are both right. Now kiss and make up!

All good wishes,

Abby


It's dated April 12, 2007 so I would look for it to be in her column soon, I signed it Meg so now I'll be curious to see if she uses, "Bickering Sisters" or something off the wall. When she runs my question, I'll stick a link to it on the blog. I couldn't figure out who would be writing to me from LA, I knew it wasn't my daughter, but I never expected it to be Dear Abby!

Whoda thunk it?

Signed,

One guilty feeling blog author

1 Comments:

Blogger Lara Croft said...

LOL Megs, thats precious !

April 16, 2007  

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