...by a crazy man who called here asking for my friend...I think. He had an odd accent that we think was Middle Eastern but don't quote me on that...none of us are schooled in accents.
I answered the phone with the usual, "Hello?" to which he didn't respond. He said "Hello" and I responded, "I won't be saying anything else until you say something." I hate it when people disobey the usual phone etiquette guidelines. Once I say "Hello?", I'm no longer required to say anything until a request is made. He finally remembered what to say and he asked for my friend...I think. Then I said, I can't understand you and I don't really care." Then I hung up the phone. I guess that was MY mistake. HIS was calling from an unknown number. My friend never answers those and I only did it to make the phone stop ringing.
After I hung up the phone, I took my dog out for a walk and when I got back, my friend was waiting at the door asking me to come and "Listen to this crap!" I followed her into the kitchen to the answering machine and heard a bunch of messages saying, "You mudder fuking bitch, I blow you!" It took a minute but we finally figured out that he was threatening to blow up the house we were in. He kept calling back, not giving us a chance to call the cops or anyone else for that matter.
My friend said, "That almost makes me want to call 911!" I responded, "Do it! Call 911!" After a couple of quick calls from the creep, I answered the phone and my friend called 911 on the cell phone. I kept the nut on the phone long enough for the cops to get here. I didn't know that the cop was outside on the phone with the crazy dude so I was wondering why they didn't come into the house. I didn't know how much longer I could keep him on the phone. I did keep him on the line long enough for him to say that he would be blowing up the house because of the "lady who answered the phone and said she didn't care about my life."
He didn't know I was the lady so he kept speaking to me. He had originally threatened to blow up the house in one hour and at one point he said that "12 minutes and 37 seconds has past since the hour deadline." I asked him if that meant that the "lady's house would be blowing up in 47 minutes" and he said that it did. At this point, the cop was listening but I didn't know that so I was wondering how many more times I could get him to make the threat before a cop would hear it.
He said that his name was Kevin Brown but I was sure it wasn't. I've met a few Browns and none of them had an accent like that one. Anyway, the cop did come in the house and I looked at him with a phone to his ear wondering how he was tapping into the call. It took a couple of minutes but I finally realized he was on the other house phone...luckily no one could read my stupid thoughts.
After I knew the cop had heard the threat a couple of times I said something that was apparently stupid. I told the caller that I was the lady who didn't care about him and I added that "I still don't care about you." At that point the cop did that CUT! sign by dashing his hand across his throat so I decided that my work was over. I told the guy that I wasn't a professional but I did have a cop and I would be letting him speak now.
The yahoo gave me an address in Peoria Illinois that he gave the cop as well. He also gave the cop his phone number but when the cop called it back as the nut was on the phone, the number rang and rang so the cop knew it was a fake. I doubted that the address in Peoria was any more realistic than the name Kevin Brown so I wasn't surprised.
At some point I think the guy realized that he was speaking with a real cop so he hung up. The cop said that he was probably just some nut...I hope he's right. The cop thought he had a Middle Eastern accent as well. We never heard from him again and the house never blew up so I think we're OK. But, should I disappear from this blog for any length of time, you'll know what happened to me.